Name: Akio Kiyoshi

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Apparent Age: 19-25

Place of Birth: Cebu, Philippines

Species: Vampire.

Coven: Just turned. Independent

Appearance:Akio Wears tattered/black cargo shorts. He wears open dress shirts w/ shirts with inspiring quotes on them. He hasn’t wore anything white since he was 13. He wears Punk bracelets (2 on each wrist). HE wears a studded belt with sharpened points. He has a necklace with a cross on it that has “never give up” carved on it. He wears vans with black and white skulls on them. They also have black and white shoelaces. He has pure white eyes. He has blue and red hair that covers his right eye. He has a knife scar over his left eye.

History: When Akio was born he was automatically abanded. He was found by a hooker lying on the ground sleeping soundly. The woman kindly picked up the boy and raised him up. When he was 13 the woman died of a sexually transmitted disease. That since that day he has been on his own. One night when he was 19 though, he stumbled across a young boy chewing on something. When his eyes finally adjusted he saw blood everywhere and a dead body lying on the ground. Before he could run he was attacked. By the time he realized what the boy was, he was already sucking the blood from his neck. To avoid reorganization from local people he hid in the cargo pit of a plane going to America. For some time he has been fighting the temptation for blood and trying not to attack people. He hasn’t been able to make friends or have a girlfriend either because he has been turned. He spends his days(or nights I should say) at local night clubs in L.A

First off I need more out of your appearance section, and secondly no one can have "pure white eyes" even those blinded have an eye color even if faint gray or blue and if he doesn't have an eye color in the trandition of albinisim well having albino characters myself, albinos tend to have pink or red eyes, depending on the lack of pigment in the iris; sometimes the eyes can be purple; the color of faint blue pigment mixing with the pink/red of bare optic nerves, but no actual white.

Now if his eyes glow white became of his vamprisim, that is allowed, but again it's not something that would happen all the time. You have to remember in Vital, vampires are flying under the radar of "normal" humans. A guy with white eyes isn't exactly inconspicious and if he does have something that makes it hard for him to appear human, well then he'd more than likely always try to hide it. It would become second nature as he lived. No vampire wants people to think he's a vampire, unless it's jokingly.

Alright, my next issue is your history. At Vital we like both quality and quantity. That's not to say that we take empty quantity, but rather we like characters defined as deeply and adeptly as they can possibly be defined. Tell us all you can about your character, make them come to life on the page and that's what I'm looking for.