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Title: Israfel "Crow" Crows
Description: Ishak


Israfel - March 27, 2008 03:42 AM (GMT)
ame: Israfel "Crow" Crows

Gender: Male

Age: 53

Apparent Age: 14

Place of Birth: London, England

Species: Vampire.

Coven: Ishak


Appearance: Pale skin. 5'8". Natrual long black hair with the front dyed white.
Visual of Crow

Black short sleeve leather. Brown eyes. Usally a Cigarette in his mouth wich

are usally stolen or bought off other people. Red armguard's with black strap's

for warmth. A ripped up white and grey trench-coat. Grey pants. Black vans

shoes.



History: Crow as he liked to be called was born in 1958. When Crow was 10 he liked to sneak out at night without his parents

knowing or consent. He would walk the dark allies of London where his father

was a cop. When he was on these little "adventures" he would see things out

of the corner of his eyes that he blew off as his mind and the dark playing

trick's on him.



Well the "thing" seen on his trip's at night got worse. It was following him

for years. He even would watch it go from roof-top to roof-top. over the

three years the sighting's still grew increaceingly frequent. No longer would Crow see

it only at night but when he would walk to school in the morning's in winter

when the days are shorter and night drag's on into the day. In the morning's he

would watch the "shadow" move from alleyway to sides of house's, but he still

payed no mind to it.


One night Crow went out to walk the allies again and of course the "shadow"

was there. Crow was annoyed with himself seeing the shadow and walked

with his head at his feet. As he walked he would hear shuffling around him.

Crow closed his eyes as he alked the stright alley-way and then he heard a

crack of glass near his feet. He said out loud "What the hell was that?" and

there was no reply. Crow was annoyed now, who did that thing think it was

throwing glass at him?


Well the next night Crow stole some pistol's and some scilencer's from his

fathers' collection of guns from his armory in his basement. He hid them in the

back of his grey pants. Crow grabbed his coat and jumped out the window

onto the ground. when he hit the ground he rolled so to make sure his legs'

took no damage from jumping from two stories. About an hour later the

shadow was next to on him on a roof again. Crow walked to a open field about

and hour and a half away from his house. He knew this is where he would try

and shoot the shadow. He knew the field was far from earshot from anyones'

house so that when he shot at it no one would hear.


Crow walked to the center of the field where there was no trees or hills just a

flat surface of grass. Crow closed his eyes for a minute. There was shuffling of

grass behind him. Crow opened his eyes to see the black shadow behind him.

The figure smiled. The smile could be compared to a dog baring its teeth when

its going to bite someone.


Crow reached behind his back and pulled out the pistols. The figure steped

forward, Crow wipped the pistols around from his back and fired 3 shots from

each gun. All of them hit it in the chest. The figure laughed at Crow and

walked twards him. Crow fired 6 more shots at the figures feet 5 hit their mark

. The figure walked into the light of a nearby lamp-post. Crow could now see

that the figure was a male. The mans skin was very pale like he had not see

light in years.



Crow looked the man over. He wore clothes that could only be decribed as

rags. Crow thought he would have wounded the man but Crow shuttered in

fear when he was surprised to see that the man was unharmed by the 11 shots

Crow had hit him with.

The man stepped out of the light and seemed to blend in with the darkness of

the night as a mist. The man laughed and said "You think guns can kill me?" The man

rushed at Crow with great speed. Crow couldent move because fear gripped him from the mans previous statement.




The man punched Crow in the chin and knocked him down. The force was so
great from the punch that it broke his jaw down the middle. Crow tried to scream in pain but couldent all was heard was a mix of words and slurred screams.
The man stood laughing and said "Stupid mortals....Your all so pathetic I should kill you now, but I like you. You had enough balls to confront me and get off a few shots"
The man bent down and bared his teeth. " Im going to give you a choice. Take it and live as a creature of the night and be better srtonger faster then any mortal, or die.
Crow closed his eyes for a second as a tear rolled down from his eyes to his jaw. Crow opened his eyes and shook his head yes in approval. The man chucked and said "Good choice"
The man sank his teeth into Crow's flesh on his neck. After a while of blood sucking Crow felt week. Finally Crow knew he was going to die, but the man withdrew his fangs and said "now you drink my blood or you will die"
The mand bit his own wrist and put it up to Crow's mouth. Crow slowley and drank the blood of the man. Slowley Crow felt better, but he also felt cold. He felt his teeth. Crow noticed his top kanine teeth were bigger.
The man introduced himself as olns Houka. Houka said that he was from japan but had American parents. Crow was still a bit weak from his ordeal. Houka grabed him and flew away to a remote warehouse in a slummy area of the London.



Over the next few days Houka helped Crow cope with his new abilities. Houka taught him that humans are inferor to vampires. He also taught him how to use his new abilities like to fly and turn into mist to help Crow feed.
Crow was greatful for his teachings but he still kinda missed his mother and father. Every night before morning Crow would fly back to his parents London home. He watched them grow and even have another kid, a little girl took the room that row once called his own.
He watched them all sleep at night and watch them grow older. He would sneak in everynight through the same window he once snuck out of to walk Londons alleyways to grab a few clips for his fathers guns that he kept for sedemental value and if a human managed to out run him he shot them to feed, and to steal cigarettes his sister and father had bought and smoke.
On his way out Crow would even leave notes on the door saying he loved them.


Eventually Houka's teachings sunk in and he learned to hate humans for being inferor to vampires. He would still sneak in his house to steal stuff but he would no longer leave notes. One night 15 years after he was turned he snuck into his house and had not fed for almost two days. Crow saw his sister lieing in her bed and decided that he should put her out of her own misery and fed on her till she died.
Crow left her body in her bed grabbed cigarettes and a lighter and left. The next night he was listing to a radio and the news came on and there was a report of a murder and two suicides at his house, Crows mother and father kileld themselfs when they found out that he had killed his sister. The will that they wrote out before their sucide entitled all of their possessions to Crow and a note was left to him on the dineing room table that planley said "We forgive you and we love you always Israfel. Signed Tabitha and Jacob Crows"
But Crow had grown cold and no longer felt the love for his human parents he once had. He went at night to pick up all the things that now belonged to him. They are as followed- A (litteraly) life time supply of cigarettes that his father picked up when Crow had gone missing and his sister picked up from her father. A few rifles he pawned off for some pounds(english money if you did not know. Not to be insulting).


The next few week's Crow had gotten flustrated with his teacher and tension was high around the warehouse he stayed in. It had gotten so bad between the two that Crow and Houka both had put their hands at eachother's throats' in argument's. One night Crow was fed up with Houka fighting with him and Crow confronted Houka with this. Crow walked into a room with two chairs one for himself and the otheer for Houka, a"big" television(for that year), and very nice round wood table with six candles on it all lit. Houka was watching the three stooges. Crow sat down next to Houka and said one thing, "Your squables with me had gotten worse with me. Its' time for you to leave, Houka."


Houka looked at Crow and laughed "The likes of you- think you can kick me out of my own home and out into the night to find a new place of rest in the mornings'?"
Crow looked at Houka and said" I'll give you two choices' Take it, or leave it."
Houka stood up out of his chair and said "You'll have to kill me first, boy!" Crow closed his eyes and sighed. He kept his eyes shut and wispered to himself "I was hoping you would say that."


Crow stood up to Houka and walked to the front room of the warehouse. He opened the front door and made a motion to the door and for Houka to follow. He said loudley "Shall we then?". Houka complied and went to walk out the door infront of Crow. Crow saw an oppertunity and took it. He took his hands that had unreasonably long and sharp nails that could stab through bones'. Crow stabbed his hand through the back of Houkas' neck and severed his spineal cord from the skull. Crow removed his hand from Houkas' neck and Houka fell to the ground bleeding from the would in his neck. Crow looked at his bloodied hand and licked the blood off of it. Crow left the warehouse that day. He knew that he no longer wanted to stay in England. So Crow went to a boatyard and stoed away on a boat to Canada.






Over the next 20 years he had lived in Toronto Canada. He spent his year's in solitude Crow had grown cold in those years' his hatred for humans grew and grew every time he fed upon one. Crow eventually travled to a place called Demaitre. Where Crow found comfort in knowing there were many vampire's there. Crow eventually settled in a crypt like place hove to a coven that saw humans they way he did, The Ishak welcomed his beliefs with open armes and for the next 10 years he spent feeding burtally on humans and honeing his skills to aid him in feeding he also learned pryokenisis that he LOVES to use in many situations.
Now this is where he resides for now atleast in the protection of the Ishak coven and upholding its laws within its walls.

Talents: Pryoconsis,flying,mist form, sharpened and hardened fingernails ast movement.
Weapons: two pistols


(i did it in a hurry so if theres anything you want me to fix or improve tell me and i will)

Lilla - June 9, 2008 07:13 PM (GMT)
Okay, I’m glad you’re willing to edit, because there are a quite a few things I need done here before your character can be accepted. For starters, you need to use a spellchecker. In the Appearance section alone I count about four errors. If you don’t have a word processor on your computer, I quote from Marcus/Kira’s ‘Resources for Character Stats’ from the General Reading section:

QUOTE
OpenOffice is a word processor fairly similar to Microsoft Word that is completely FREE for download, and has a built-in spellchecker.

http://www.fanfiction.net/oo/

If you aren't able to download/install programs on your computer, there are also many online spellcheckers available, such as http://www.spellcheck.net.


Pay attention to punctuation, also, please.

Your sentences are incomplete and choppy in the appearance section, embellish a little. Try, “He has pale skin and is 5’8’’.” His hair is naturally long and black, but he dyes the front white.” Etc, etc.

Also, I’d appreciate it if you could do something about the layout of your post. Specifically, how the beginning of the history doesn’t go to the end of the space and is double spaced, and then it abruptly switches to single spaced after a gap. It’s not aesthetically pleasing, and if someone doesn’t want to look at your character description, how can you expect someone to read and enjoy it?

Now, I haven’t read down through your history, but once you fix few things I will. You may be required to make a few more changes, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get it to.




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