On patrol for the night since her services weren't really needed else where, she'd volunteered to take an ill officers beat for the night and was wandering around between the buisness park and the one patch of green in the middle of the city that called itself a park.

But it was a quiet night. No vampires, no hobos to escort to a shelter... And all she heard was a light static on the radio. No calls... The oddest of all.

Oh well.

Pulling out her bottle of water she took a sip, that being one of a few things that wouldn't kill her, and put it back in the little pouch on her belt. It was a new moon, so darker here than usual, at the entrance of the park. A few street lamps glared across the street, but only threw shadows over here.

Her mind wandered as she sat on a bench, kicking back near the entrance. About Adam... About Henri, if he was coming back at all... But where was Adam? he'd worked earlier today, so the fact that it was nearly... One in the morning told her that he was probably either at a club, asleep... or worst of all, with some woman.

It was odd that she actually cared. Cared that he was sleeping around, that he was a womanizer who liked to leave before the sun came up... But he had stayed with her. He knew that she needed just a little time to feel not so... Lonely.

Alone didn't bother her, it never had. But lonely did. She had been lonely for so long. Since the night she lost everything it seemed, in one sweeping blow. A noise jarred her out of her thoughts. Just an owl in a tree somewhere... Nothing more.

Stadning with a sigh, Jax kicked at the sidewalk as she moved on, her patent leather shoes clicking slightly. Long night ahead... She knew that for sure.

"Hello, Jaxon," he said. Some twenty feet behind her, a handsome man soon, his hands in his pockets. His green eyes shown brightly in the glare of the street light. It had been a few months since he had seen her last, since he had left her. She looked about the same. He, on the other hand, had changed his looks. A thin, trimmed beard covered his jaw. The short, curly hairs were of the same strawberry blonde hue that colored the short curly-cues on his head. He ambled slowly toward her, removing his hands from his pockets and clasping them before him. "How are you?"

Jaxon knew she should just keep walking... She Knew she had to. But the voice... She had never been able to ignore him... Resist him. Jaxon had never been able to forget him.

"Corrigan..." She said quietly as she made the mistake of stoping, turning around to face him. "What do you want? I said I would leave you and your fledgling alone... What more do you want of me?" She asked with a blank expression. She had to keep it blank. But he could tell that her mind was racing, her hert beating just as fast as when they first-

No. Corrigan was an ass. He had used her, trying to get over his fledgling, or make him jealous... or something. He never gave a shit about her.

Corrigan stepped closer to her, only stopping once he stood right before her. "Nothing. I don't want anything." His eyes flitted over her, a small smile lifting his features. "It's good to see you."

Things had changed. He could tell just by looking at her. He made a point to stay out of her thoughts, but he couldn't help but wonder. "How have you been?"

He didn't want anything?

Jaxon narrowed her eyes susspiciously as he drew closer. It just wasn't in her nature to trust someone who left her without any good reason... Someone who claimed to want to be with her... Then toss her out on the street...

"How have I been? Henri left me... You left me... All I have now is my work, Corrigan... I work six nights a week, I come home to a cold, empty appartment, I wake up and do the same damn thing every night. How do you think I've been?"

Lonely, desperate.

The wind shifted slightly, just a soft night breeze, but it pushed his scent towards her. A scent that always made her weak... "Why did you come back?" Her voice was softer now, had lost that cold outter coating. "I was at least doing okay until now... I had something of a life. I was starting to forget."

Corrigan's features darkened, his brows furrowing. "Henri left you? Why?"

Corrigan smirked as she continues and he reached out to place his hand on her arm. "Ah, but you contradict yourself, Jaxon. You were not okay until now. Far from it. You just said yourself that you were not doing so well."

"I came back to check on- things." To see Cole and Jaxon, mainly. Make sure they were alright without him. Cole didn't miss him one bit.

"He left about a week before you did. He went back to France. He told me the night of the ball that he was leaving. He said he had to finish things with his sire... But I haven't heard from him since..." She was working hard to keep the tears from her eyes.

"Why do you think I snapped when you left me? I had so much... I was happy... And everything was just pulled away from me Corri..." Yeah she had snapped... She had been desperate... Trying to cling to some hope that she wouldn't be alone now that she kenw what it was like to have people who cared... But...

"That doesn't make sence... Check on things? What was here that you gave a second thought to before just dissapering? Didn't your fledgling leave with you?" He didn't care about her, and what else could this city offer him.

Corrigan frowned, dropping his hand to his side. "I don't have to answer your questions, Jaxon." He took a step back, indicating that he was about to leave. "I wanted to see that you were getting by and I have."

He took another step back. "Good bye."

“Yes you do! You can’t leave me again with just a fucking Goodbye!” Jaxon nearly screamed at him. She didn’t give a shit anymore about her composure. She didn’t care she was still in her uniform and should act appropriately. “Damn it Corrigan… I loved you then… And… And I still do! Why the hell do you think my life’s been shit recently? All I’ve been doing is getting by! Why do you waste your time with your fledgling? He’s moved on. He doesn’t need you. He has his girl. But I do. I need you.”

Why didn’t Corrigan see that? Or even worse, why did he pretend like he didn’t know. He could read her thoughts, her emotions. He knew everything.

“All my life… I just wanted someone to love me… But every time that happened, they were murdered. And now Drake is dead, it seems to be avoiding me…” She looked down at the pavement.

“Do you really want to know how I’ve been Corrigan? Since you did ask.” She asked before looking back up. “I’ve wanted to kill myself. Every night I woke up, I just want to kill myself. And I’ve tried. I have. I just heal too quick.”

Jaxon took the two steps forward, putting her back in arms reach of Corrigan, as a tear escaped. Reaching a hand up she brushed his cold cheek. “Why won’t you let me in? Why do you always have to be so cold Corri? Why did you come back to see that I’d rather die than live on, only to leave again?” He owed her a few answers. If all he was going to do was walk away from someone who loved him, she wanted to know why.

"This isn't about him," he said at last, his voice quiet, composed, his fingers steepled before him. "He got married and since he is more my son than any of the others I have made, I made an effort and came back to see him and his new bride. He and I settled our differences months ago."

He grew still as she approached him. "I've never been the man to stay in one place, with one person for very long," he whispered to her. He flinched when she touched his cheek, excepting her to strike him. "I've never been one two took well to being told what to do." He sighed and took that final step to close the space between them. He slowly slipped and arm around her waist and then another to embrace her. "And I will leave again, Jaxon. I just had to see you."

He was so cruel... Cruel to pull her into an embrace, to hold her that close, as if reminding her of what she will never have again. He seemed uncarring as she said that she had tried to kill herself. He didn't speak about it, as if she had never said it.

"Why do I love you then..." She asked as she burried her face in his shoulder. "Why do I love you when I know all you're gonna do it hurt me? Why do I still want to be with you even though you couldn't care any less about me. If I had died... You wouldn't have cared. You wouldn't have shed a damn tear."

Dispite the strong anger, the deep sorrow in her voice, she clung to him tightly. "I don't understand Corrigan. I don't understand why you're so afraid." He could deny it, but why else was he running again why else did he refuse to even acknowladge that she said she loved him? It was like he didn't even hear it.

Corrigan pressed his fingers to her spine and slowly slid them up to her neck, his fingers curling up around her shoulder as he turned his face into the crook of her neck. "What time is your shift over?"

He held her to him, remember how much he missed the mold of her body to his. "I don't know how to be with someone without hurting them, Jaxon," he admitted in a whisper against her neck as he gently kissed the nape.

His hands soothed Jaxon's light sobs away, but the tears wouldn't stop. "Three... I have another two hours..." She whispered. His breath against her neck, the way he held her. She had never truly forgotten. She had tried to, but how could she forget the first man she cared so much for?

It was an impossible task. Like asking her to forget her sire.

"Be with me Corri. I don't care. I just need someone." She whispered as she felt the kisses at her neck. A hiccup and a sigh came from her as she tried to stop her tears, her body relaxing in his arms. "I'll do whatever you want Corrigan. I'd do anything to be with you..."

Corrigan pulled Jaxon off of the sidewalk and out of the range of the street light. He ran a hand up her side and he necl and tilted her chin to the side, pressing his teeth into neck and tearing her flesh. He drew only a little bit of her blood before then moving his lips to hers for a chaste kiss. "I'm not going to stay, Jaxon."

"Just... Just stay with me tonight... Promise me you'll come back even if you know you never will... Whisper it in my ear as you take me if only to give me something to hold on to."

She could make herself sleep late... Give him time to leave before she woke up. But all she needed was the promise of his return. "Lie to me Corrigan... I don't care. I just want to hear the words that you love me... Even if you don't mean them." he would do that right? He was cruel and cold... He would say things to give her a false hope. But that was all she wanted. The false hope. Something to make her think she wouldn't always be alone.

Corrigan sighed, kissing her lips again once more before pulling away from her. "No, Jaxon, I won't do that. I won't use you again. I wont hurt you again. Not like this." He kept his emerald eyes fixed on hers as he took another step away. "I will find you tomorrow night. Will you be working?"

Jax had just begun to enjoy the kiss when it was gone. Her body felt cold and empty again as he moved away. But something kept her from moving closer. "Corrigan..." She whispered.

Lies... They could do horrible things or wonderfil things. Didn't he understand that? She just wanted to hear the words... That was all.

She shook her head at his question, trying to keep her face blank. "No... I have off." Was he going to see her tomorrow? Would he decide to lie to her, to comfort her with a supposed truth?

"I'm at 1308 North Hampton... Appartment 302... I'll be awake just before sundown most likely, so stop by whenever." She would wait for him... As long as it took she wouldn't leave her appartment until he came. "I'll wait for you..." She whispered.

Corrigan nodded and took another step backward. "I will be there." He told her and then he was gone. (Start a new thread?)

Jaxon watched as he dissappered. She refused to let a single tear more fall though. He wouldn't cry for her... Why should she waist her tears on him...

Because she felt like it.

But she would keep them in for now. She would clear her face, drown herself in work like always... Forget... Or try to...

---------------------------------------------------------------

She got home at four thirty nearly. Having caught a perp just before she got off, and the paperwork always took forever. But she made it home and cried untill dawn made her sleep. And apparently the exaustion of her mind was greater than could be quenched with a simply day of sleep, so when Jaxon woke, it was nearly nine at night. Or so said the clock on her nightstand. There were streaks of her tears that had dried on her face... Her pillow was soaked with blood...

But she closed her eyes again, knowing Corrigan was coming or might already be here. She didn't know... And she didn't want to care.

Corrigan kept his word. He had had some business to take care of the night before. He had to transfer some funds to Cole's bank account, the remains of his lost inheritance. It had to be done that night, something about certain endorsements and whatnot.

At around midnight, after a good feed or.. three, the made his way to her apartment. He truely had made his heart cold to the entire situation, but he could not deny either of them one more night together. She missed him. She needed him. He couldn't or wouldn't claim the same. He was leaving again but he owed her this much.

He knocked on her door of her apartment and waited patiently. She was knew. He knew she was and he didn't even have to check to make sure. He just knew.

Jaxon had simply lain there for a time... Just trying not to feel. it was around eleven or so when she drug herself out of bed... Took a shower and dressed. When she came out of the bathroom she could smell her blood all over... Well on the pillow and the sheets.

So she quickly changed them, throwing them in the washer. Jaxon was hungry though after she got moving... It seemed she had lost more blood crying than she had thought... And she didn't eat last night... Meeting Corrigan had kind of messed with her if that wasn't already evident.

Hearing a knock at the door she almost refused to open it... But she could never resist him.

"Hello..." She said softly with no emotion what-so-ever. "So... You actually did show. I was thinking that I would finaly starve myself to death... Waiting for you..." And funny enough she doubted that anyone would even miss her.

"I said I'd be here," he said quietly, his expression as devoid of emotion as hers. He gazed at her for a long moment and then broke into a soft smile. He took a step inside and took her hand from the door, closing it behind him. He took a brief look around and then brought his eyes back to hers. "Nice place." Not that he expected her to live in a crypt or anything, but she seemed perfectly depressed.

"I'm back from Spain," he told her after a moment. "That's where I left to. Had some unfinished business there." He conveniently forgot to mention that the business there was still unfinished. "What have you been doing?"

It was a good thing she didn't see his smile otherwise she wouldn't be able to control herself for too long. She'd be crying and begging him to stay again. She wouldn't do that. She couldn't.

"Spain... Sounds nice." She said with the same flat tone. "A lot's happened. And yet... Nothing at all. I've worked... I've killed... I've covered up vampire murders... I've tried killing myself more than I can remember... My bike's in the shop... After I wiped out going eighty-five... Nearly got ranover but still survived..." Jaxon's tone never changed. She couldn't soften... With him, her smallest weakness brought her to tears.

"Why didn't you stay in Spain after you finished?"

Corring folded his hands before him and leaned back against the door. "Do you truly want to die, Jaxon? I can make that happen." His features darkened. "I do not offer you this to be cruel, but if an escape from life is what you truly seek... There are few of us who have the stamina to sustain us for years and years. You have been immortal but a few months. To want death so soon is a poor way to live."

He swallowed at her final question. "I had things that I needed to check on," he told her as he had the night before.

"I don't want death Corrigan... I want life... Not this shit half life that I have. I just want hope... Something that gives me a want to wake up every night." She said. She thought she had wanted death... Until another vampire had nearly killed her to show her what she really wanted. "I never thought that was asking too much until you left."

Jax couldn't help but frown as he repeated thimself from last night. It was the first facial expresion she made all night. "Is that your more subtle way of saying you don't have to answer my question?" She asked. "Because if you don't want to tell me, fine. Just say so Corrigan." She said as she moved tot he couch, refusing to look at him.

Corrigan gave an exasperated sigh, "I already told you, Jaxon. Cole was wed and I came to see it and give him a parting gift. He's been without his parents' inheritance for a almost two centuries now and I thought he deserved it. Look, I didn't come here to argue with you. I will leave," he threatened.

He stepped toward her and crouched before her as she sat on the couch. He gazed at her for several minute, his eyes unwavering, considering their situation. He looked down and brought himself to kneel, sitting back on his feet in a more comfortable position.

"Why don't you leave this place if you hate it all so much? Demaitre is..." he sneered, pondering the right descriptor, "lacking in the finer qualities of a proper home." He placed his hands on her knees and slid them up her thighs to wrap around her hips and pull her closer to him. "Have you ever been to Europe? Italy?"

He threatened to leave like she cared... Well, she did, but he wasn't suposed to know that.

Jax shook her head as he suggested she leave the city. Unable to say anything aat first or her voice would have trembled slightly from his touch. "I can't do that... All I have is my job Corrigan. Besides... A home isn't a place. A home is the people in it. This used to be a home. When Henri was here. But... It's not anymore. What would be the difference between here and there? Besides the fact that they speak English." She pointed out.

"Besides... What fun would it be to go alone... And I doubt you would have me tagging along with you." Yeah, like she'd just pack up and move to Europe, or even go for longer than a few weeks like a long vacatoin.

Corrigan gazed up at her patiently as she spoke and added just as she finished. "You should go because you are no longer happy here. You will meet others along the way who will fill that void. You've created a prison for youself with little to no escape routes. You don't enjoy your work anymore. You don't enjoy the company of others. So start new work and meet new people. You don't expect to leave here for eternity do you? There is so much to see in the world and you're blind to it because you're still here."

"Perhaps that's what you need is a vacation. A long one."

"I'm not leaving Corrigan... This is the only home I've ever really had... The only home I can remember."

She couldn't just... Go off and leave... What was she going to do? Go hunt Henri down in France? He told her not to, and she wasn't going to disobey her sire.

Jaxon's fingers reached out to him, brushing against his lips, to his cheek aod then through his hair. "Corrigan... I doubt I'll be happy anywhere." She gave him a small smile. "At least staying here doesn't cost too much money... And I do enjoy my work. Like I said... It's the only thing I've got going for me at more. It's the only reason I really don't kill myself." The smile grew unsteady as her lip quivered slightly. "Do you think I really can't kill myself? I'm sure not even I could survive a bullet to the brain. It's just that..." She looked down, pulling her hand away from his hair where it had been running absently.

"I guess the pain reminds me that I'm alive... Reminds me that I'm not really dead." Was she really becoming a masochist? Was that why she wanted to be with Corrigan? Because the pain he made her feel told her that she still had a heart?

Corrigan tried considering her words, tried to weigh their value, but at the moment, he was distracted by her touch. It was when she removed her touch that he was able to focus again, to fully consider her words.

"Do you really want to die, Jaxon? There are so many other things from with you can derive life than pain." He could think of a few right now as he pulled her closer to him, running his fingers slowly up her back.

"No..." She whispered. "I want to live... I want to feel love... That's all I want Corrigan." That's all she had ever really wanted out of life. Even when she was little she was happy with her family. But that all changed so long ago, and she had forgotten what it was like eventually... She would forget again... Eventualy.

Leaning against him she closed her eyes.

"I never thought that was asking too much... But I guess it is for me. I don't know why, but it is. And if I can't feel alive like that... I have to find another way so I don't simply fade away." With a sigh she burried her face into the crook of his shouler and neck. She pressed her lips softly on the flesh, remembering his taste... Rembering the taste of his blood... It had been like a drug for her... But everything about him was a drug to her.

"I remember the time, the first time I'd ever had sex... I was completely spent. You'd made me scream in such pleasure..." She whispered against his neck. "But you still hadn't finished. You pushed me forward when I wanted to stop. Made me keep going." She smiled slightly as her arms slipped about his waist. "It had been so long since someone had pushed me to be better than I was."

Maybe that was what she needed now... Someone to put a boot up her ass. Only Her father and his friends had ever done that. With her training they had always pushed her to be harder, better than she had been before. Corrigan was the first person outside of them... To make her become better. And maybe he would do the same again. Even if he didn't mean to.

Corrigan turned his chin away as Jaxon pressed her lips to his neck. He curled his hands around the back of her knees and pulled her off of the couch and onto his lap, pulled her hard against him, her legs on either side of him. She wanted to be psuhed? He'd rock her world.

"Where's the bedroom?" He husked, nearly growled, into her ear. He turned his mouth to her neck, practically biting the flesh with his lips, his teeth barely grazing. He held a tight grip on her hips, one that was sure to bruise, one to leave a mark. She wanted pain, he'd give her pain. She wanted passion, he'd give her passion. But he would not give her love. He couldn't.

Jaxon whimpered softly, bairly audible even to vampire ears, as he pulled her against him. She shut her eyes tight against the sensation and the memory of the time they spent together... How their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together.

Her fingers currled into his shirt at his shoulders as he grasped her hips. Her lips let out a shuddering sigh as she felt his fangs at her neck.

"Corrigan..." She whispered the soft protest. They couldn't... They couldn't do this. She couldn't. Jaxon knew that after this... That was it. There wouldn't be anything. She wanted to though. She wanted him, to feel him against her again, skin on skin...

She didn't tell him where the bedroom was... It was her way of protesting slightly to appese her heart. But the kisses she gave his neck nicking him with fangs every now and again spoke what her mind and body wanted.

Corrigan captured Jaxon's lips with his own, the harsh pressed of his fingers disappearing beneath her shirt to gently stroke the flesh of her back. She didn't need to tell him. He could find it on his own. Moving his hands back down to her hips, he held her tightly to him and stood up slowly, picking her up effortlessly.

In moments, he dropped her onto her bed, a soft smile touching his features as he watched her bounce. "Do you want me, Jaxon?"

Jaxon kissed him hungrely as Corrigan caught hold of her lips. After protesting the breaking of the kiss she tried to reclaim his lips. But it didn't work, his hand caressing her back made her lay limp in his arms as he lifted her.

She next remembered being tossed on to her bed, hearing his question. Well that was a stupid question... Jax wanted him yes of course. She wanted him in ways that he would never want her. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with him... Until she died really...

"Yes... I want you Corrigan... I want you more than anything..." She whispered as she lay there on the bed. "More than you could possibly imagine."

Corrigan's quaint smile slowly turned into a grin. He unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt and then pulled it off over his head. He tossed it aside and crawled onto the bed, lowering his body to hers and peeling her shirt off as well. He kissed her again, his fingers claiming every inch of her skin that they could reach.

He had been so busy over the last few months that he hadn't been with anyone since her. He pressed his hips to hers, enjoying the warmth that came from her. So young, so soft and still so warm. He stole his lips from hers and pressed them into her neck again, his fingers working on the button of her pants.

It was in the blink of an eye that his hands were tugging off her shirt. And she didn't make a single protest. No. She eagerly kissed himsoft noises of pleasure were absorbed by his lips as she felt his hands caressing her skin with a fire.

His hips were against hers, and she could feel his need. A need that she could quench for him.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as he kissed at her neck. She was taken in by his kiss, buysing kissing his neck and shoulder as she caressed his back his sides. So absorbed in the heat that she didn't even feel his hands at the top of her jeans. Kissing and nipping at his neck with little noises of pleasure it was as if he hadn't been away at all... As if he hadn't left her.

Corrigan pushed himself up from the bed quite suddenly, sitting back on his knees. He tugged urgently at her pants and tossed them aside, doing away with her panties as well. As he bent to lay over her again, he planted one kiss at on her hip and another on the inside of her thigh, the smell of her driving him mad.

He moved himself up again, capturing her lips once more. He pressed past her lips with his tongue, searching for hers, his fingers doing a little searching of their own as they pressed inside of her as well. He gave a soft moan at the moist warmth of her, pressing harder into her with the strength of his knee behind his hand.

He reached around behind her with an expert hand and unclasped her bra, pulling the straps down her arms, though the focus of his minstrations was much lower.

Little whimpers were Jaxon's responces to his kisses on her hip, her thigh.

By the time he pressed hard into her with his fingers her gasp and moan was taken in by his lips. Her body was that of a virgins. He knew it and this was his way of loosening her up for his entrance.

Corrigan said he didn't care about her... But his actions said otherwise.

Jaxon's mouth accepted his intrusion and she enjoyed it immencly.

Her nails raked slightly along his back, leaving slight red marks on his skin. Her hips pressed into his touch, letting him know she wanted more with her body. He could tell from her mind as well, but the body wanted it more.

Corrigan nipped Jaxon's lip, drawing a droplet of blood for his hungry desires as he tore away her final piece of clothing. Oh, how he wanted her. The tongue could lie, but the body couldn't and he could not hide the painful constriction of his pants.

He pressed the palm of his hand into the mattress in order to steady his balance and withdrew his other hand from her, quickly unbelting and unbuckling his pants. He inched them down his hips with little tugs, but waited no longer than the freedom of his member to find his way into her. To hell with his pants. They could ride his hips as he rode hers. (God, i need to get laid)

He exhaled sharply, withdrawing almost immediately and then driving himself back in again with twice as much force. Yes, her body would always be a virgin to such touches, and he would hurt her with his careless behavior, but it would pay off in the end. Pain and pleasure walked hand in hand and she had better know that before he left her again.