The White Mice... Where everything had started, where everything ended...

Jessica had come here... Why? She didn't really know actually... But she was here. This was where she met Jason... This was where Dan had worked... This was where Jason had almost killed her...

So many memories. Wonderful, horrible... Just all of them.

And Dan. Where was he now? She hadn't seen him since she told him to leave... So he'd listened it seemed. She didn't want to do that to him... But how could she bear to let the one she loves grow old and die or to condemn him to a world he wanted no part of? She couldn't do that of course... So the best option was for him to simply leave.

She was sitting in the firthest corner in the dark. Alone here, Jessica was free to cry as she wanted, letting the bloody tears flow silently down her cheeks. Ben was gone... He had left her too. But she had expected it. He had just been saying those things to comfort her, to make her feel better. And it worked for the few nights they had been together.

With a sigh and a muffled sob she lay down on the couch, her body shaking just bairly as she tried to hold everything back just a little bit harder. She was alone... SHe should have been used to it by now, she should know that she was meant to be alone in life and that she would never be happy with someone.

She was happy with Dan, but... But she knew they could never be. She knew she would have to learn to adapt. Learn to get used to this life as must has she hated it. But how could she?

It was Dan's night off, but he asked one of the other bouncers call him if Jess showed up. It seemed she did, and he wanted to see her again. His dress was simple, a black polo shirt and a pair of jeans. As soon as he entered the club he looked around, and headed over to the bar. He got two Sam Adams, and started walking around looking for Jess.

She shouldn't have been that hard to spot, but it took Dan a minute to realize where she was. He moved over to the dark corner of the club, and sat down next to her. "Mind if I join you?" He asked smiling warmly at the girl he'd fallen in love with. He wanted to hold her, to ask her what was wrong, but it had been a while since they saw each other.

Dan set the beers on a nearby table, and he reached down wiping the bloody tears from her face. "Come on you don't have to cry. You'll get me all depressed." He said jokingly. It felt good to see Jess again, and he knew how hard it was for her earlier. Now he was simply happy being in the same city as her. It was way too lonely without her.

“Vous remercier cher...” His voice was soft and careful, slight as his lips drew back from damp flesh. He swallowed then, pure exhilaration flowing through his veins. It had been good, it was always good, so very good, and Christian closed his eyes against the tears that skated along the dark skin of his cheek, his breath coming fast and shallow.

His donor for her part looked lazy and content in the darkness that only immortal eyes could see through so removed from the flashing lights of the dance floor. She smiled lazily and already pressed fingers against newly healed skin. Just looking at her Chris felt just a bit guilty. He’d seduced this woman for lack of a better word and he’d put her at ease with…

“Good-bye for now cherie.” He heard himself say suddenly.

And before he’d known it Christian was moving across the club. Chris couldn’t read minds ah, but then again his talents lay in emotions. And if nothing else emotion was high, one emotion in particularly and from a familiar source indeed.

Christian felt all of his self-pity melt as he set eyes on Jessica and again in the dark his eyes found no barrier. He looked at her curled upon the couch, watched the bloody tears flow down her cheeks and suddenly felt as selfish and foolish as he new his concerns had been.

“Jessica…” He almost cried; his voice low.

Moving forward he sat on the floor beside the couch, leaning back he whispered.

“A stupid question, cher. But how are ya?”

As she lay there, her eyes closed, just listening to the music as if it would make everything better, she smelt him... His scent. But it had to be her mind playing tricks on her. Jessica had asked the tenders a few times about Dan and they had said that he was gone, he had quit... He couldn't be here.

But a warm hand, a human hand. And his soft voice.

She turned her head up with a gasp, her brown eyes opened wide with surprise. "Dan you... You shouldn't be here!" She shook her head as she backed away. "I told you to leave. I told you, I begged you and you promised!" Jessica shook her head, and turned as she heard a familliar voice. Chris.

How was she? A moment ago she would have lied and said she was fine, but now, now she didn't know what to say, what to think.

Dan had promised her to leave, to go to another city and life there safe and sound. He had said that he understood why they couldn't be together and he said he was fine with that. But... "Why... Why did you come back." She tried to stand, but her legs were shaking too much to hold her up and she ended up nearly falling on top of Christian.

She wanted to run to him. To feel his arms around her tight and comforting around her. But... Didn't he know how much worse it would be now? How much pain this would cause her? She turned away and clung to Chris, there on the floor of the club. What should she do? She didn't know. She didn't want him to leave, no of course not. But she couldn't just pretend everything was alright and live a lie.

Dan watched as Jess shot up confused that he was there. He knew he promised to leave, but he couldn't stand being without her. Plus Demaitre was his home town. "Jess..." Then she fell on into Chris and he looked at her. He wanted to hold her, but he knew how much this already hurt her.

He stood up with his beer. "I'm here because I couldn't bring myself to leave you by yourself." He said knowing full well that he was being selfish. He just couldn't stand being without her. He wanted to hold her, to tell her everything was going to be alright. That he wanted to join her.

He couldn't think of anything else to say so he just stood there looking at Jess and Chris. He wanted to hold her.

Christian hardly needed to be an empath to feel the emotion that spread out sharp and biting between Jess and Dan. And yet at the same time he understood both their positions. Chris hadn’t been there before, no not with a mortal, but that didn’t mean he didn’t understand. Empathy just made all the emotion of things stab him quick and hard in the heart, much nastier than any stake. And his breath came labored as he held Jessica just as he’d caught her and rubbed her back carefully as she clung to him, her tears a bitter coppery presence in his nose and his consciousness.

“I will be alright cherie.” He whispered soothingly to her, his usually melodic voice suddenly that much more so as it was turned toward comforting a friend. “I know dat your decision is difficult and dat…him, I refuse ta say his name. But ya know who poisoned ya heart. Dat effects ya more den ya know. But don’t let any of it make ya decisions, cher. Choose what you want.”

Chris took that moment to wrap his arms about her. He knew she needed it and he hugged her softly, running his finger tips through her hair as he also rubbed her shoulders.

“He means it when he say’s he loves ya. Dat’s mi gift, but I just want to help, not make ya decision.”

She knew... Jessica knew she loved him.

Jessica shook her head. "It's not that... It isn't that at all." She said quietly. Looking up at Dan with bloody eyes, she wanted to go to him, but she was so afraid. Not because of what Jason had done. But because she knew how much would hurt the both of them. "Dan... We... We can't be together like this. We can't. I can't go back. I want to... I do."

She pulled away from Chris, sitting on her own.

"I would do anything to be human again... To be with you, to live a normal life. But I can't... It'll never happen. And I don't want to make you live a lie... Living and growing old while I never change. It would kill me Daniel." She looked up at him. "And I know you don't want to be like me. You aren't meant to be in this world, Neither am I. I don't want to put you through this hell. Having to kill to live, having to hurt people just to get what you need."

He would hate her forever more than likely if she brought him in to this world. He would hate her for taking everything away from him, taking away his very life. He would hate her, just like she hated Jason.

"You wouldn't ever forgive me Dan. You would hate me and want me dead every night you woke up, every time you tasted blood. And I would never want you do do that." She couldn't bring herself to say it, but she would rather watch him die than wake up every night knowing that he hated her more than anything else for the rest of eternity.

She looked over at Chris as if for support. He would know what she meant, right? He would understand what she felt.

Dan was listening to every word that Jess was saying. She kept saying that they couldn't be together, and that she couldn't be human again. Dan followed Jess as she sat down, and looked at her. He would've done anything to hold her, to comfort her. "How do you know that I don't want to be like you Jess?" He asked looking at her with concern. "I've thought about it for a while." Dan wanted to be with Jess. He wanted to be with her for the rest of his life, whether it was a mortal life or an immortal one.

"What if I would change to be with the person I love? You know I would do anything for you Jess...I can't...be without you." He said looking down so she wouldn't see him get emotional. If he had to go through hell and back again to be with Jess then he would. He cared about what it meant to be a vampire, but if it meant being with Jess then he would do it.

"I want to be with you Jess. I won't hate you." He said in response to what she said about hating her if she brought him into that world. "What if it's different? What if it's different for people who love each other?" He said almost desperate. Dan wished only to be with Jess, to keep her safe. "I haven't fought in a long time. All I have left is you and this job." He said looking into her eyes. "I don't want you to be alone anymore." Dan reached up and touched Jess's cheek. "Please let me become like you."

After listening to Dan, Chris would rather not have said anything. Well and truly he felt like an intruder within the sanctum of a loving couple, a fifth wheel as it were. But with the look he received from Jessica he could hardly remain silent. After all he did understand, understood more than anyone, save Jessica herself knew. Listening to Dan’s words were like revisiting the past. Christian could remember her, even now after he’d fought so long to forget her.


Ma devastation. He thought, his own words for her, the woman he’d loved enough to give up his humanity for, even after she had played with and slain his master’s son.

Love made men and women do strange and fool hardy things. And dragging himself out of the pit of his memories, Christian spoke carefully as he eyes locked on Dan.

“Don’t be so quick in ya decision Daniel, don’t let passion rule ya or love blind ya.”

The dark skinned man folded his arms firmly over his chest, his gaze unwavering as he continued carefully.

“Don’t give her false hope if ya don’t mean it. And even if you do, remember dat with what we are…whatever dat is, forever could mean just dat, forever. Ya love her, she loves you, but love ain’t always enough and she hates dis life, ya better understand dat too before you go signing up or just like she say, you’ll hate her. And dat will crush h’er. Jessica’s mi friend and I don’t want ta see her hurt. You too Dan. Since she loves ya, ya mi friend too, cause I want ya ta make h’er happy.”

That said; Chris turned his attention to Jessica.

“Dat goes for both of ya Jess. Let him see da life first hand, what it means. Also try being together with him for a while just how ya are. I know what ya feel, what most immortals feel, but ya ain’t got to sire him just because ya love ‘em. Ya can love a mortal, it’s just more difficult, not just for you, but for him. Every night you’ll be the same, unchanging while he ages…ya have to be strong and love him even if you know someday he’ll go, but likewise he have ta want what he want. I think ya both want ta do thins way too fast. Slow down, see what come ta ya.”

Christian had no idea what his advice was worth to either party, but it was the best he had. It was experience and sorrow, things he kept hidden and wrapped up in his soul, and yet it felt right to give at least a part of it now. Really, Chris wanted them both happy and well, and that took understanding not just of the world, but each other. Not every vampire wants to live on and not ever mortal wants to die. A rather “grass is greener situation” to say the least. They’d have to do things together to find where they were and should be in things.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" She said pleadingly. "This isn't like changing religions, changing your job or anything... This is something that changes who you are! Something that changes your life and you can never go back Daniel! Don't you understand that?" She said as she looked up at him. "I have to either kill or steal to survive. I'll starve without blood. Human blood. And it's not always like when I fed from you! If I had know what he was going to do with me... What he was going to do to me... I would have never even looked at him. He twisted my mind... Made me think that this was something I wanted..."

She was very near to tears as she spoke now. But luckaly Chris stepped in. Being less emotional than her right now, he said everything that she wanted to say but really couldn't. Hated this life? She had tried before to kill herself. Jason had stopped her, Ben had stopped her... She didn't want to be like this and she didn't see how Dan could want to subject himself to this.

"It's living in hell for me Dan... I don't want you to suffer like I am. And it's not just because I'm alone. Knowing that my job and what I am... They don't mix... I've very nearly killed several patients... Simply because I couldn't control my blood lust. I nearly killed them Dan. Went against everything my job and me stand for. I have to steal blood from the hospital sometimes to keep the thirst at bay so I don't kill. I have to put the lives of others at steak simply so I can live."

She looked over at Chris, stunned as he said to show him what it really is. She could never do that! Make him watch as she murdered someone... While she literaly drank their life away, just have him watching. The very thought made her ill to her stomach and she came close to wretching.

"We're tried that though... I can't bear it Chris. I can't just watch him die... But I could never drag him in to this hell." She said as she shook her head slowly. They could always try it again. Could always attempt to live together and maybe they would find a solution.

As Dan touched her cheek she looked up, crimson tears in her eyes. "Please don't make me do it Daniel..." She whispered. "I would rather die than have you hate me forever..."

Dan listened to Jess's words as she spoke about what it was like. It was just like what the vampiress, Deidre, said. He couldn't help but feel kind of attracted by it. He'd always lived with fighting, and he always felt the intent to kill. It was like a part of his inner soul, to beat someone until there was nothing left...it was what he'd imagine, especially with people who beat on others weaker than themselves. He hated those kind of people, and wanted to do more. Maybe there was a way through becoming a vampire. "I understand that I could never go back!" He nearly yelled at her. "It's my choice if I want to or not." It was his life, if he was willing to go to hell for her then he would. "I want to be with you Jess. Even if it means having to live off of others then I will."

Then he turned his attention to Chris as he spoke. He did his best to keep calm, to not let his emotions get the best of him. "I know that Chris...I've thought about it for a while. I know what I'm talking about." He said looking him straight in the eye, his voice stern and calm as could be. Then Chris was speaking about Jess hating this life. He knew Jess had hated it, that she hated Jason. "I don't want to see you suffer anymore." He said turning to look at Jess with eyes that told a lot more than he could express. It expressed how he loved Jess, and how he was commited to be with her forever. He listened to her words, and understood that it was a living hell for her. "Jess...I don't want you to be alone in this hell. I can help you, please don't carry this all on your own shoulders...Let me take some of the weight."

Then Chris was speaking to Jess. He understood what the vampire meant and nodded calming down. It was much better to see it firsthand than hear it secondhand. It was pretty early to force this onto Jess, but he wanted Jess to be happy. He listened to Jess as she told Chris that they tried it before, and that it didn't work. "What if someone else was to change me Jess?" He asked looking at her. "If all else fails what if someone else changed me into a vampire?" He knew it was a little drastic, but it wasn't like she was changing him. "If we can't bear it like this I could find someone else to change me." He said listening to her words. His hand wiped her tears away and his lips pressed against hers for a second. "I won't make you do anything Jess." He wrapped his arms around her body, and hugged her against him. "I want to be with you again."

There was a slightly sardonic edge to Chris’s smile at Dan’s words and even Jess’s reaction. He hadn’t wanted her to murder someone in front of Daniel, no there was more than enough of their kind out their to do it for her. Everyday there was stalking and killing in this city. Most were tourist, homeless street folk, or the naïve, those that wouldn’t be immediately missed or at least the slayings were set up to look like something else.

Chris could admit that he hadn’t been in this town long, but every night he noticed the density of immortals and mortals in this city. All the covens were here, all the interests groups that spread throughout the world, and others still like himself, like Jess that didn’t belong to one of the interest groups, The Covens, this whole city was a lesson, a study even in what there kind was or could be and it was this understanding more than anything else that had fueled his words and his thoughts.

Looking at Dan, he nodded then.

“If you are sure after seeing all there is ta see of being what we are…then Daniel ya have ‘someone else’ ta turn you. If after all we show you, then ya are still determined, den I’ll do exactly what ya ask…does dat seem fair ta ya both?”

When he said that last, he looked at Dan, but his focus was really on Jess. Christian wanted her happy, more than anything else. He knew what it meant to be lonely, to feel the weight of the world on your back and be clueless with how to deal with it. At first he’d been lost, so very lost, even more than what he and Jack had seen when they had met her after the things Jason had done to her. In fact Jack still wanted to simply end the other’s life, but things had changed, they had changed and so it was now that even if this felt like looking into the past to some parts of his heart, it was most assuredly the future.

“Jessica, he is h’is own man. He loves ya, and when he understands all dat our lives entail. Den he has his own decisions ta make too. So is dat ok with you?”

Jessica looked down as he raised his voice at her. She knew he wasn't yelling, but she knew he was upset. She didn't want to upset him... But...

She felt Dan's arms pull her close, hold her as he kissed at her hair. Did he have any idea about how long forever was? Did he know what he was really getting himself into?

It seemed like an eternity of silence, and then another eternity of words floating around her as she tried to make sence of it all. Chris was willing to turn him? Chris would take that burden on his shoulder so she didn't have to suffer the guilt?

Jessica had to shake her head.

"No... Thank you for the offer... But... If anyone should turn him... It should be me Chris. I know it's his choice... But I won't put the burden on your shoulders... I just don't know how. I don't remember what happened to me and no one's ever told me." She said softly.

She remembered nothing of her turning... She had been completely unconssious durring the whole thing and didn't know what it entailed as she tried to stay away from vampires as much as possible really. Chris was the only exception.