Silent as the grave Jessica sat in the subway car as she headed home for the night. it was nearly three-thirty in the morning... And it was the unfortunate time of night when Jessica had time to think... Think about how she had pushed Daniel away from her. She had to... She didn't have any other choice. She loved him too much to curse him the way she was... She was a monster and it seemed like only she could see that about her. But Daniel was blinded by love. She was a vampire... A child of the night now. He couldn't live like that...

So she had told him to go away. To move away from this city to another one were vampires were less likely to cause him problems.

Her reflection was pale in the window. Not white pale, but faded... As if a reflection of a reflection. How was she to forget him? She tried so hard to forget him... One of her best friends... The man who cared for her even when he found out the truth. About how she had been stupid and foolish, that she would pay for it for all eternity.

She brushed away a dark tear before it fell.

Work did wonders, when she was there. But now, on her way home... Her thoughts nearly overwhelmed her. Now that she hadn't seen Jason, her murderous sire, in months, she felt safer now about that situation. So she didn't need to think about him anymore.

It was so cold out as she stepped out of the car, the wind and cold air from the street above rushed from the tunnel to the street. Jessica was dressed just in her scrubs, but the cold air didn't bother her. She just didn't care about herself anymore, she felt dead inside without Daniel... Could anything bring her back to life again?

Benedict made his way through the early morning crowd of graveyard shift workers at the subway station. Making his way down the stairs to the bottom rails he loosened up his worn down black hoodie, his black straight legged pants and checkered converse sneakers covered in street salt on the bottom.

As he continued walking he caught the scent of another vampire, looking around he caught sight of a young girl that he immediately recognized as an undead child. Slowly making his way through the crowd he fallowed her, making sure to keep down wind so she didn’t catch his own scent.

Watching her through the scruffy looking night workers, he saw a depressed look on her face. This intrigued him, making the chase even more fun.

She wasn't depressed exactly... Just... Empty. Yeah... That was the word. With no real life beyond her work, Jessica was truly just a shell these days... A little puppet that only came to life when it was time for her to go to work, work or go home... She would sit there stairing blankly, wondering at her life... What it would be like years down the road... She used to do that as a child too... Picturing herself with a family a bright future...

But all those dreams were gone weren't they? What could she make of herself now?

Jessica walked along the ever familliar path to her appartment, unaware that anyone was taking even a slight interest in her. It wasn't a chase though... Had someone wanted to kill her, she probably would have welcomed it. She had nothing to live for now.

Looking up for the first real time her appartment building came in to view and she pulled her keys from the lanyard in her pocket, the jingling sound they made rang in her mind. What she would give to feel arms around her again, to feel the comfort someone could offer her, the affection and love.

It was this lack of companionship that made her so hollow... Jessica had always been a sociable person, she had always been around others and she liked it. Without friends, without people, she was lonely... Terribly lonely.

Benedict fallowed the young woman all the way back to her apartment -- he had noticed through his fallowing her that she was a beautiful creature, but with her actions she made it seem las if she didn't notice. He heard the jangle as she took out her keys, though waited for her to enter before coming out from behind the building corner where he stood. Once she was inside he walked forth standing under the window of her living room, he peered in, seeing no one he slid the window open he went in.

Slinking down Ben gently closed the window behind him and sat in one of the chairs in the room. Taking off his hoody he set on the arm of the chair and fixed his Rammstein shirt he had been wearing under it. He paused when he caught sight of her standing in her doorway inside, he took a deep breathe and listened... waiting for her to walk into her living room.

It was of course this early morning that was the worst... Just before the sunrise, when she would change and simply lay in bed waiting for the sun to rise so she would sleep. She missed sharing her bed with Daniel, the comroft he brought her. He would usualy be asleep of course, but he was still there.

The door closed to the appartment as she entered the little entrance hall that lead to the living room, Jessica noticed nothing different, as he was too new to the appartment for his scent to reach her nose yet. She flicked on the light in the living room and looked up to see a man... One that seemed terribly dark and certianly not friendly in her mind. After all, what friendly person sneaks in to your house?

Jessica screamed and backed in to the kitchen. She wasn't really afraid of course. He had startled her. But the reason she wasn't afraid was she had pulled a knive out of the block by the fridge.

She knew he was a vampire. What human would be waiting here at such a late time?

"Why are you here!" She said in a fearful voice as she clutched at the knife. "Did Jason send you to finally kill me?"

"Calm down you foolish girl." Ben smiled standing up from the chair and slowly moving toward her. "I'm not here to kill you and I have no idea who Jason is."

Looking her up and down he realized now why he had fallowed her. She was lonely -- it wasn't a physical signature that caugth his attention but empathically he could feel her flooded with lonliness. "Such a lonely girl." He kept slowly moving toward her, passing through the hallway and into the kitchen where she stood.

He came face to face with her -- he was about 5 or 6 inches taller so he down on her. "You really shouldn't pull a knife on someone unless you intend to use it." Smiling he reached out and gently touched her cheek with his left hand.

Jason hadn't sent him? But then why was- Her hand tightened around the handle of the knife as he saw him get up... Come towards her... She backed away into the depth of the kitchen, back where there was no way out. But she stood there, the knife trembling in her hands as he approached.

Still, her body tensed as he approached her. But she couldn't move. Why? He wasn't here to kill her? Jessica's mind was confused. Why was he here? She- "I'm not lonely... I might be alone. But I'm-" She couldn't finish the sentance though, simply because of that smile... The gentle brush on her cheek. Her body responded by pressing her face against his hand slightly, aching for that kind of contact... The touch of someone else...

"Who are you? What do you want... Why are you here if not to kill me?" Jessica whispered, unable to take her eyes from his. He had called her bluff though. She wasn't capeable of hurting anyone... It just wasn't her. But still she held the knife, as if it gave her some feeling of security. But her hand was frozen around the handle as she stood there, nearly trembling before him.

Benedict thought to himself -- he wasn't completely sure why he had fallowed her, but he was almost sure that it was because of her lonliness. He couldn't help but he drawn to those who have certian overwhelming feelings and he wasn't aware of it at the time but her lonliness was practically a sign that might as well have said 'stalk me please.'

"I don't know why, really. I saw you in the train station and something about you drew me. It wasn't until we got here that I realized it was your overwhelming lonliness." He brought up his other hand, pryed free the knife from her hand then dropped it to the floor with a 'clank'. "You may not recognize it but you're not just alone, you are practically lost."

Leaning down he kissed her gently on the lips, he had recognized her urge for contact when she pressed her face against his hand before and he too realized how much he wanted contact as well. Having been hurt before his siring he knew the feeling of loss and lonliness -- he couldn't help but take advantage of a chance to help another vampire and himself.

He had been stalking her? Watching her since she got off the subway? And she hadn't seen him or even caught wind of him? How had she not noticed him? "I'm not lonely..." Jessica said softly with trembling lips. "I might be alone but I'm no-"

But he kissed her then. She couldn't help herself... She couldn't stop herself from returning the kiss, her lips begging for more. Her body ache for the touch of another, ached for affection and attention from someone else.

She knew she should pull away, tell him to stop and leave, but she couldn't. She didn't even know his name, she didn't know who he was! This was just like what had happened with Jason, she had been overwhelmed by the attention she had received, and followed him blindly. And she would suffer for eternity because of that.

By the time Jessica was able to control herself, her arms were around his neck, her body against his. Pulling away she backed herself up against the counter, she shook her head slightly. "I shouldn't... I... I can't..." She stammered. But those words went against everything that she wanted right now. She wanted to press herself against someone, to feel arms around her holding her close and tight, lips against hers...

Every fiber of her body ached for that...

But how could she? Jessica knew she had made stupid choices... She couldn't do that again...

Benedict smirked, “You can and we both know you want to.” He fallowed her to the counter and pressed his body lightly against hers, putting his hands on her waist, and breathing gently in her ear.

“I’m Benedict by the way, but you can call me Ben.” Gently he nibbled her ear lobe, “What’s your name?” He pressed again gently with his body on hers.

He couldn’t believe he was seducing a girl he’d only met moments ago, he really didn’t even know her! But her ache for affection matched his own. He too was lonely and he too wanted contact.

Wanted to? Of course she wanted to... That wasn't the problem. Shouldn't was the problem. She put her hands up to keep him from getting too close to her but he got close anways. She was terrified, terrified of what woudl happen and what they might do.

But Jessica found it hard to voice that particular concern as his lips took the lobe of her ear gently. His breath was cool on her neck, her body aching as he pressed closer. She shouldn't want this... She shouldn't want to feel the electricity running through her body... But she did. She wanted him to do more with his hands... More with his lips and body.

Her name...? She opened her eyes as if in a drunken stupor, relishing the touch of his body. What was her name? "Jess... Jessica." She whispered against his neck as her lips kissed hungrely at the skin. But her begging lips soon moved to his, longing for the propper attention and affection. Ever since she had been turned, there was this primal need for contact, an urge to be close to another.

Her hands curled her fingers into his chest before running them eagerly against the fabric of his shirt, wanting to touch skin.

Ben returned her kiss without pause, adding in small bites on her lips as they continued. Letting his hands wander up form her hips to her ass and pulling upward he lifted her up onto the counter. Pulling out of their kissing only slightly to smile, “What a pretty name.” Then he eagerly returned to kissing her longingly and positioning himself between her legs.

Jessica didn't protest even slightly as he lifted her on to the counter, in fact as soon as she was up, her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him even closer. She needed his touch, someone's touch... She needed to feel alive... Like she was loved, wanted and desired by someone... So alone... She hadn't realized it before now, she hadn't realized how terribly lonely she was...

She missed Daniel so much... As if he had taken her heart when he left.

But they didn't belong together. They could never be together... So what was the point in missing him? Loving him would only hurt her more... He would grow old... He would die... She never would. But...

Benedict... Ben... He was a vampire like her... he wanted to make her feel loved it seemed... Wanted to make her lonelyness go away, far away. And she had to forget Dan... As much as she loved him dearly... He would only bring her pain...

It was Jessica who broke the silence with pained, nearly sobing words as she leaned her forhead on his shoulder. "I want to forget... I want to forget everything... Everyone..." She was nearly crying as she spoke. "It kills me inside Ben... It hurts so much..." She was only a fledgling... A child in this world, aching for the world that she had been of once... A world that she could never go back to no matter how hard she tried.

Her family, her happyness and joy... All had been lost when she was turned. She had tried to make the best of it... but she had only been turned as a toy... One her sire had grown bored with and tossed aside, even tried to rid himself of... She was begging him for help, begging a total stranger. "Help me... Please... I don't want to remember anything Ben..."

Benedict looked at her his hands on her soft face, “What can I do? Tell me what it is and I’ll do it, I want to help you.” He sighed shakily, he hadn’t been expecting her to stop the attention they were both willingly receiving and was taken aback slightly.

He wanted to help her in any way that he could, he wasn’t sure what he could do for her to help her forget aside from killing her but he would never do that. He couldn’t bring himself to kill an innocent, even though being a vampire made you sinful by default but he couldn’t kill Jessica. Never.

But she was innocent... She was. She had never killed, never... She had drank from dan when he was willing and able... She had stolen blood that they had plenty of stores on in the hospital... And even when she had fed from humans she could never kill them. It wasn't her. "I don't know... I wish I did, but I don't." She had never wanted this... Never...

Jessica nuzzled at and kissed the side of his neck, holding him close. She just needed someone to care for her, to love her and hold her.. Gentle hands to show her that there is kindness and joy... "Just.... Pretend to love me... Even if you truly don't, just pretend..." She pleaded with him. "I just need someone... Someone so I'm not so lonely..." She knew she had said before that she wasn't lonely, but they both knew she had been lying.

He might have been confused at her words, and Jessica expected nothing less really. But that was all she needed... An illusion to make her happy, an illusion to give her hope. After all, Jessica was stil a human in heart and mind an unlike many many vampires, her mind could be fooled so easy. Just look at what had happened with Her sire.

"You don't really have to love me... Just... Just pretend you do, that's all..." She said as she kissed him again and again, short desperate kisses.

Benedict was confused at first by her words but they sank in and being comprehensible as she kissed him just pretend to love her… he thought to himself as he continued to return her kisses and feel her young body against his own.

As he let his imagination wander around the scenarios to come a familiar face flashed in his mind, making him shiver. The face of the young girl whom he had destroyed, opening his eyes but still lip locked passionately with Jessica he looked at her.

Fear overcame him, instead of Jessica he was kissing Amelia, the girl whom he had taken and abolished because he was a monster. Yelling he pushed her away frightened and tripped falling to the floor. Looking back at her, he realized that it was only Jess and that viciousness of his mind had tricked him again. “God damn it!”

Jessica saw the terror in his eyes as he pushed her back, as he pulled himself away from her. She froze for a moment, her body and mind. Why had he... Could no one love her? Not even pretend? Was she that horrible? That was the only explination...

Sliding off of the counter, Jessica fled to her room quick as she could, throwing herself face sown on her bed. Why had he done this too her? Had Jason simply turned her to make her suffer so? She had trusted him... Even loved him... But he had twisted her words around, cursed her and then when he was done with her... He had tried to kill her... He had tried but failed... Oh how she wished she would have simply died...

Amazingly though, Jessica did not cry.... No tears sprang from her eyes as she lay there, wishing she could suffocate herself in the pillow. She was alone in this world... alone forever. She had chased away the only man who had loved her because of the pain... Everyone else thought her a monster, thought her a horrible creature. Jason had told her that no one would love her... That no one else would care for her... Maybe she would have been better off just being his pet... At least he would have cared for her in some small way...

"Oh shite." Ben growled at himself watching Jess flee. Damn that memories of the past. Stay out of my head! Standing up and running after Jess he called to her, "Jessica I'm sorry. It was not you, love." Walking down the hall checking every door he found her face down on her bed, but he noticed that no muffled cries of any sort were coming from her.

Slowly walking to the bed side and sitting on the edge he set a hand on her back, "I'm sorry Jessica. My mind was playing tricks on me, it was not you that made me frightened... it was my past." He looked at the back of her head, hoping she understood.

Leaning forward, he gently kissed the back of her neck, "I'm truely sorry."

If she were human she would have suffocated herself with the pillow by now, because Jessica didn't even look up as he came in. She didn't respond as he sat down... As he touched her back so gently. It was only as she felt the touch of his lips at her neck that her body even moved. But it was to choke back an aching sob.

Jessica wanted to feel these things, wanted to know that he wasn't repelled by her... He said it was his past... But should she believe him? Yes... Her own past haunted her terribly...

"Try looking over your shoulder for nearly a year because you think your sire still wants you dead..." She said softly as she turned her back to him, laying on her side now. She didn't mean to turn away from him, it was just more habbit to lay on her right side. "Try having to push away someone you love more than life because they'll only be hurt and hurt you... Simply because they're human... Try being ripped from your life to be nothing but a sex toy..." She had never complained to anyone before, never saught out sympathy or pity before... Because she knew it didn't help. But... Keeping it all inside didn't help either...

"He never loved me... He tore me away from everything... Everyone... Just so he could fuck me until he had had his fill..." She had always slept during the day, but there were days he had forced her awake simply so they could fuck. "But I should have stayed with him... Shouldn't have questioned him..." At least she could pretend that he loved her then... Make herself believe that someone cared for her...

"I've always hated being alone... I hate it more than anything..." She whispered softly.

Ben felt blood rush to his cheeks as he listened to her speak of the things she'd dealt with... quietly and attentively he felt her pain of being used and abandoned. "You are a strong woman Jessica, inside I know you're aware of it." He whispered into her hair just loud enough for her to hear it.

Resting his head on hers he listened to her breathe quietly, "And you're not alone anymore... I'm here for you now." He rolled her over and kissed her gently, "And I won't leave you."

"No... No Ben..." She shook her head softly. "Everyone's left me... Or I can't be with them..." But her boy ached keenly as she listened to his words. She wanted to feel that they were true, that he could actually love her.

Her eyes were quivering as he turned her over to look up at him. He was mysterious... Dark.. Just as jason had been. But what else did she have to loose? Really? What else besides her life... And she didn't really want to die, but why did she need to live?

She couldn't help but kiss him as well, but kissing him passionatly... Eagerly... Wanting to feel alive again. Even when he broke the kiss, she whimpered wantonly. But she was so afriad. Afraid that he would leave her... Leave her alone and crying again, wanting someone to hold her tight.

But until then... Why couldn't she just enjoy what she had? Pretend, like he was, that someone actually cared for her for once. That someone loved her and would stand by her side... She could pretend. Pretend that she wasn't alone.

Her lips were begging for another kiss... But she didn't move. What if she was so terribly lonely that he was just really pretend? A part of her lonely mind to help her cope? She didn't know what to do anymore...

Ben pitied Jessica for her sense of loss and longing; being empathic he picked up on these emotions and let them fill him. “I won’t abandon you, Jessica. Never… These are the words of an Englishmen, and I swear I’ll never abandon you.” He leaned forward again kissing her gently to add structure to his promise.

He pulled away only slightly and only long enough to whisper to her, “I love you.” Then he continued to kiss her.


((sorry it's short, college calls... >.<))

She wouldn't fight anything he would do to her... Not if it ment to feel the touch of another on her skin. Not if it ment to feel that she wasn't simply alone... But... He was a vampire... Could she trust him? Maybe he would end her misery... Maybe he would release her from this pain and take her half-life away at last.

How odd... Only a moment ago Jessica had been afraid of just that... But now... As they kissed tenderly, as his hand brushed at her body, she wouldn't mind if he slid a steak into her heart.

His words were a lie... Jessica knew that they had to be. No one could fall in love knowing so little about another person. Her hardest learned lesson. Besides... he was a vampire, they were known for lying. It didn't matter where he was from, how old he was... Why would he have any reason to stay with her? Why would he simply love her the first time they met and love her for eternity. He couldn't. It was truly that simple.

But she of course made herself believe him... Made herself believe the lies from his lips. She kissed him in return, almost beggingly. Had she been aware of it, she probably would have been ashamed, but no one ever knows how lonely they truly are until they have someone to show them.

Benedict felt the sting of remorse at the base of his concious, he'd lied to her, he knew, he was pretty sure she knew it too. Why was he doing this? What motive did he have to toy with this girl? Perhaps in a way he longed the same way she did. The long for another person's touch, even a complete strangers touch.

The way she was reacting, he wasn't really aware of whether or not she cared that he told her a lie, but was more satisfied with him gentle touch on her skin.

Slowly he unbuttoned her shirt, exposing the soft skin of her stomach. He ran a hand from her stomach up her side, feeling the warmth and softness of her skin.

Jessica bairly noticed as he unbuttoned the scrub shirt she wore, but she was infinantly aware of the hand at her stomach a moment later. He was caressing her gently, his hand soft against her skin and it felt delicious. His cool hand on her warm skin... Yes... She was still warm. A fledgling of less than half a year, she still retained her humanity, her life like qualities.

Her chest was still held by the sports bra she was wearing underneath, an alternitive to the usual tanktop really. But that could come off easy enough if he wanted it to.

It was true that lies could bring hope, could bring happieness for a little while. The sighs that came from her lips as he ran his hand over her stomach, around her sides.... The little smile on her face said that even though his words were a lie, she chose to believe him. Chose to belive that for a little while she could be happy so long as his touch upheld the words he spoke.

Her aching fingers reached up to him, slipping under the t-shirt he wore to touch hist chest, cook and solid benieth her fingers. But she absorbed the feel of him. Her hands wandering along under the fabric as she brought her head up to kiss him again. She wanted to take off his shirt, but would he be okay with it?