Benedict had just left his haven for the evening and was meeting the stars for the first time tonight, "Ah, yet another beautiful night." Smiling he made his way to the back alley behind the Abandoned Warehouse, seeing a bum he smiled. "Breakfast."

"Hey bub." He walked over to the grubby man and almost instantly realized him to be a drunk. He stunk of liquer, was smothered in dirt and looked to be in need of a de-loucing perhaps? "Want a drink?" The bum came to life in a hurry.

"Why yes mister!" The bum moved in a spiratic movement that suggested maybe a mental disorder.

"Well,.. I'll give you money if you close your eyes and count as high as you can." Ben smirked evilly sitting on the ground next to the smelly bum.

"Okay mister, sure." He did as he was told and began to count, "one, three, four...."

Reaching over lightly Ben grabbed the bum and bit deep into his neck. The bum fell stiff in fear and Ben continued to feed, the bum's blood filling his mouth and filtering between his teeth. Within moments the bum stopped breathing and died and Ben stopped feeding.

Standing up Ben took a deep breathe and wiped his mouth of his sleeve, "Thank you sir." Ben smirked and dropped a ten dollar bill on the ground at the dead man's feet.

He made his way back into the abandoned warehouse and sat down on a crate, pulling his legs up onto the crate too, and sitting in indian style. Pulling a pack from his pocket, Ben lit a ciggarette.

Helen wandered through the streets, cursing herself. Looks like you've done it again old girl, you've managed to get yourself lost... again. She shook her head, and breathed in deeply... although it was unnecessary. She noticed an abandonded building, and worked her way towards it.

She noticed a dead bum, and rolled her eyes. Some vampires must be desparate to get something to eat, because to her, bums weren't exactly on her menu of things that would even be considered. She noticed the wadded bill, and stuffed it into her pocket. She needed money, and he didn't need it. The dirt, and drying blood on his neck sickened her, along with his glazed, dead eyes. She closed her eyes, and kept walking.

She noticed a young man, smoking on a crate. Probably the same man who had made that bum his breakfast. She walked up to him, and raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't exactly call a bum something I would want to eat." She smirked, and shook her head, and leaned against an old light pole, which seemed to have gone out years earlier. She twisted her toes inside her combat boots and looked off into the night.

Benedict looked the girl over, he recognized her immediately as a vampire, even though she had already commented about his choice of food. "He was there and I needed to feed. It was him or me and personally I'm not a picky eater. A flash of the bum's face made Ben smirk, he couldn't help but feel aweful but powerful at the same time.

"So, what are you doing in this part of town?" He eyed her again, "You lost?" he smiled looking at her while he took another deep drag from his ciggarette.

Helen shrugged. The bum still looked discusting. It was like being forced to eat a nasty vegetable. She just simply refused. She eyed the cigarette, and looked discusted.

She rolled her eyes, and sighed. "Yeah, in fact I am lost." She didn't know where she was, but figured she would do something exploring. She had never been to this part of town... But could see why. "So, what are you doing out here?"

Her face went from discusted, to concerned. His face seemed to hold some kind of hurt which she hadn't come across before. Betrayal maybe? She wasn't sure. Some people seemed to hold a particular bitterness to her eyes, which she could see in him. Helen's cold blue eyes seemed to almost stare off as she looked up at the moon, in wonder.

Benedict watched as she eyed the cigarette but didn’t falter at the disgusted look – being dead he had no worry of smelling awful or rotting his lungs or teeth. He had smoked in life and continued to do so in death.

“Maybe I can help point you in the right direction…” He offered with a smirk that he usually always had when he spoke to someone new, he was wary of meeting new people (especially vampires) and starting off on the wrong foot.

Leaping from the crate he walked slowly over to her, taking one last drag from his cig and tossing it to the ground before exhaling. Reaching her he put out a hand to shake, “The name’s Benedict. And as for what I’m doing down here…” He spaced and looked around, “I live here, these back alleys and dark abandoned buildings are my havens. I’m an individual, therefore I have no specific home, I live where I want. Right now it’s here. Tomorrow it may be somewhere else, it’s freedom.” He sighed and looked at her. “And you are?”

Helen's relaxed, stoic form put her hand in the grasp loosely, like a lady, and smirked, shaking his hand. She nodded, and brought her blue eyes to his face, studying him. "Helen Gustare."

She pondered on living out in the abandoned warehouse. "Do you like living here?" She looked around curiously, picking up a few rotted crates to find the usual bugs, and worms slithering in the dirt. She would make a face, and replace the fragile wood.

She looked up at the sky, and almost smiled. She loved how no matter where she went, the sky was always the same. She could be on Michael's patio, the nightclub with Catherine, or at the St. Mary's Church, and the sky was always as beautiful as she remembered from the night before.

Her attention went back to Benedict, and she put her focus on finding her way out.

Benedict watched her then brought his attention back to her question. He thought about it for a few moments then answered with a smile -- "Yes. I like living where I want and doing what I want when I want to. These old abandoned places aren't very warm..." he looked at her eyes admiring them and their icey blueness, "but they are home."

Ben thought back to the bum, "The food's not that great either." He smirked evilly thinking back to her past reaction to his feeding on a bum. "But when you need to feed bad enough, you move past the type of meal you're about to have and you just feed."

He looked away from Helen for a moment noticing a rather large rat scammering between two crates a few feet away from him. Pulling out a small butterfly knife, he swung it open with ease and flung it at the rat, catching its tail only, not killing it just pinning it to the floor. He jumped down from his crate and walked to it, taking hold of the body gently he removed the knife and held the rat.

Ben had a natural relationship with the dirty creatures, so he didn't worry about the rat fighting or biting him. Ben held the rat like a small kitten in one arm and after sheithing his knife back into its ankle holster, he began stroking the rat gently with his free hand. The rat lay there calmly in his arms, letting Ben pet it. He looked back to Helen, "You have any pets?"

Helen lost her cool complextion as he grabbed hold of the rat. She screamed, and brought her arms to her body, and flinced. She had remembered the nasty creatures, and the cats she would bring into the house to keep the rats out.

As the thing relaxed, and she was sure it wouldn't jump out at her, she relaxed slightly. She backed away a few paces, and folded her arms. "Cats." She whispered. "A long time ago."

Whenever Helen had traveled through Europe, there were plenty of stray animals which she didn't mind taking care of. The occasional dog or cat would wander to the back of the adandonded complex she stayed at, and she would be sure and leave out milk, or some meat given away from a local resturant.

She wondered if Benedict would like it at the Church she was staying at. But Helen was staying with Michael now; but maybe it would suit him. Helen was free to do as she pleased... "What coven are you apart of, vampire?" She asked. Curious to what kind of nature Ben was accustomed to, and what kind of vampire he was.

Ben smiled at the mention of cats, he too liked the friendly felines, "I had a cat once, she died though." He looked down at the rat in his arms, "She was his by a car." He looked at her as she flinched and squiremed about the rat's presence and smiled.

Continuing to pet the rat he looked at her comfortably. "I'm an independent. I belong to no coven but my sire I'm pretty sure was of the Tarepha." He cocked an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

Helen's face was not moved by hearing of the death of his cat. She had witnessed many lives both human, and animal come and go in her long years. She nodded, "all lives are taken within time..." She looked up at the sky, which was partiuclarly blue this evening.

Helen had almost forgotten about the rat, she was so caught up in the stars. However her attention was turned back to the young man as he asked her a question. "Hmm?" She hadn't exactly heard what he had asked her, but figured the least. "Oh, do you possess such traits of your sire? Did you not know him?" The Tarepha. A brutal bunch she wasn't sure she wanted to get herself involved with. But, she wouldn't back out of talking to this man just because of his sire's history.

Benedict listened quietly to the rats breathing before Helen spoke, ”all lives are taken within time…” He nodded.

“This is true.” Putting the rat down on the floor and watching it scurry away he looked back to Helen again. She asked him her question about his sire and he looked around expressionless. “Only his thirst,” Now returning his gaze hers – his eyes seemed angry but hurt at the same time. “Sometimes, when I feed… I can’t help myself.” His memory returned to a young girl from almost 5 years before whom he did more than feed from.

“Sometimes … I do horrible things.” A tear welled in his eye and threatened to fall down his cheek. Wiping it away furiously he turned his face away from Helen.

Helen flinched at Ben's pain. Her human personality was resurfacing again. Her cold, lonely, vampiric self which had formed through the years of abandonment was finally washing away, and she found herself feeling remourse for Ben. Out of sheer instinct, she walked over to Benedict, and put an arm around him.

Helen took his chin in his hand, and looked him straight in the eyes. "All vampires know their beastly hunger, my friend. No matter what coven they are from." Helen herself knew which she had thirsted in her younger years... The different accidental deaths which she had fed too long. "You just need to learn how to control it, hm?" She gave him a comforting smirk, and then embraced him in a loose hug... So if he wished to pull away - he could.

She was surprised by her own actions. Was she really comforting this lad, with her arms around him? Helen, who had been so cold, and distant to the world around her and not so much given a nod or friendly gesture to anyone. Or maybe it was just the likeness she saw in herself, which she saw in Benedict. They had both been abandoned by their sires, and left to fend for themselves.

Ben hadn't been expecting her to be comforting considering they had just metm but there was no measurement for how much he appreciated it. He coughed to try and stiffle more tears back.

Returning her solid gaze, "I know, I just..." He stopped himself as more tears welled up and the thoughts of thirst, the young girl and what he had done to her all came flooding into his mind.

Ben tightening his arms around her when she hugged him, he didn't know why but he felt like somehow she understood how horrible feeding habits could be but still his sometimes almost demonic feeding habits made him hate himself.

"Thank you," he whispered to her trying his hardest not to cry like a child.

Helen herself could remember the animalistic thirst she felt the first few years of her vampiric existance. Though her strong ability to control herself that supressed that hunger. However, it still resurfaces itself whenever she does feed - without particular greed in the feedings.

She returned his stronger embrace, and realized what hurt he must be in. The tough shell he shows people must be his defense... As her quiet and cold nature was hers... She felt so connected to Benedict... She saw herself in him... "It's alright Ben... We've all been through it... It takes time to learn to control it..." She tried to comfort him best she could.

Helen kept her arms around him, for he seemed that he had not recieved such attention like this in quite some time. Helen herself had not given such attention... Or recieved it for that matter... Other than from Michael recently... But he was more fatherly, it seemed to her.

Helen whispered softly into his ear. "It'll all be okay, dear Ben. I myself know all too well your troubles..." Her voice faded, and she kissed him gently on the neck.

Ben smiled from under the mask of tears that had surfaced, “Vampires are always pushed to the brink of what they can handle. I just wish there was never an undying need to be horrible when feeding sometimes.”

He shivered when she kissed his neck, her soft lips making contact with the cool flesh of this throat made him think about feeding even more. A need to bite Helen aroused and he hated himself like he’d never known at that exact moment – she was being nice and comforting to him and here he was wishing he could bite her.

Loosening his grasp of her with one arm he put his hand at the nape of her neck and tilted her head toward his so he could look into her eyes. “Why is it that the most beautiful of people have such horrible needs?”

The hatred and lust he had for feeding rekindled and he broke their eye contact, he didn’t want her to see the monster inside him through his eyes.

Flashes of her reluctant isolation came rushing back to her. She had lived as a shadow, and knew of pushing boundries. Pushing them to survive, pushing them to not walk into the sun, and end it all. Her bright eyes faded for a moment, realizing her gruesome past, which she regretted.

She quickly pushed it out of her mind, and managed a smirk. “Why is it that the most beautiful of people have such horrible needs?” A bit of vanity maybe? Helen chuckled and merely shrugged. "People as a species have horrible needs, beautiful or ugly." In her time she had seen all kinds of different people. Those who held their beauty within them, and their bodies betrayed that beauty... And others who's beauty was expressed through physical features, but then was soiled by harsh and inhuman acts. It went either way.

She could tell he was hiding something... Fear of himself, maybe? Could he not trust his feeding hunger that he had to turn away? "What are you hiding Benedict? Can you not control yourself?"

Ben looked back at her with an expressionless face, “I have to feed at least once a night or I lose control and do horrible things. And even after feeding so often I still sometimes get random urges to do horrible things out of spite…” he paused wondering if he should tell her, then decided he might as well just say it.

“Only moments ago I felt like… I needed to bite you.” Shaking his head angrily he looked at her, “Even though we are both vampires I still felt like biting you was the thing to do. In me not biting you, I guess that was my only amount of self-restraint that I have.”

Ben felt as though maybe it would be better to just be alone all the time. To just stay away from everyone and anything except when the need for blood aroused and then he would come out and feed. Perhaps that would be easier, but the monster in him would never let it happen that way.

If not for the nightly feedings he would certainly lose all control and hurt innocent people for possibly no reason at all. No, he would stay in the company of others, he would learn to control his monstrous urges that his sire had knowingly passed onto him. He would survive as a monster.

“I hate feeling like I’m hiding things, but it’s my only defense against what I am.” Ben glanced at her waiting for her to hurry away like the others who have learned of what he is besides just a creature of the night.

Yes, he was definately in fear of himself. It couldn't be more clear. She shook her head and smirked. "Well, we should work on that self- restraint, shouldn't we?" She touched him softly on the shoulder with her cold hand, and her eyes held hope for him. "You resisted biting me. That should amount to something."

She wondered how much he hated, or loved this monster he had become. Was it something he couldn't resist because it was too powerful? Or did he find some pleasure and exitement that made him keep his monsterous habits around?

What he is... Well, what was she? She was exactly like he was... Just of a different nature, she supposed. She hadn't quite gotten the grasp of it all, but figured if she could control it... Could he too?

She placed a hand on his shoulder, and gave him a comforting smirk... For she had lost the ability to completely smile long ago. "What you are, makes no difference to who you are. You have the choice to be, or not be whatever you wish, my friend." Helen almost laughed at her words. Was she really saying these things? Why didn't she just take her own advice?

She removed her hand, and sat on a crate, elbows on her legs, leaning forward. "I'm sorry if you feel I'm imposing... I don't know what came over me to say those things..."

Ben smiled in appreciation for her words and watched her as she moved. "Who I am is nothing without the monstrousity of what's inside." He sighed, he hated speaking in riddles even though sometimes it was fun, it wasn't right then.

"What I mean is..." he paused walking over and leaning on the crate Helen sat on, "Is that before I became a vampire -- there was no real person. The alcohol, the obsession with the one who hurt me, I was practically a drone of societies underbelly. A bloody drone, Helen."

He sighed pushing his frusterations and hatreds of his past and who he used to be to the back of his mind. "The monstrous habits that I have are difficult and sometimes even impossible to control. But it's the small amount of self restraint that I've learned over the years that frusterates me so. I'm miserable with the evil but without it I would feel like I shouldn't even be alive -- in the vampiric sense of the word." He smirked at his alive comment.

Ben couldn't help himself, he was literally a pluthera of atittudes and personalities wrapped carefully into one very warped and unhappy body. His icey blue eyes wandered around the building taking in the already known details of the place.

As Ben laid his life out, Helen started to realize that his monstrous actions were not simply vampiric nature and thirst... But also substance abuse, and it was born into him... Helen shook her head, and furrowed her brows, trying to think.

She looked back at Benedict, and studied his face. She was trying to see if he enjoyed his savage behavior. By his words though, he was only driven to the substances because of some hurt... Someone betrayed him... But who? She did not concern herself with that however. She looked up to Benedict, and her face was calm, and stern, but caring. "Do you want to change, Ben?"

One who had no desire to help themselves could not be helped. Even if they knew there was a problem, but had no will at changing or fixing themselves... Were hopeless.

Benedict looked at Helen with just as much seriousness she had experssed to him, "Yes. I don't want to be a monster any longer." Images of the girl he'd hurt and his past deeds of anger or things he did because he felt the urge... he hated himself and he wanted it to stop.

(short post I know but I'm only running on one yoohoo. lmfao)

A smile, one of mocking, playfulness, or happiness to his response, could not really be told, but she smiled nevertheless. She raised from her crate, and wrapped an arm around Benedict, and took in his scent. A horrible scent of cigarettes and booze. She squinched her nose, and whispered in his ear. "Then, we shall try to remedy that shall we?"

Her circling was nothing of her character, only an excercise to hopefully help Ben restrain himself from biting, attacking, or any other monsterous actions. Restrainment, after temptation was the key. To be honest, Helen had never tried to remedy a monster, but there was a first for everything, wasn't there?

Ben watched her intently, his urges were like a pulsing beat inside him, they came and went. Watching her circle him, he didn't quite understand her reason but he kept watching her. Almost as if she were teasing the monster out of him, he felt the rumble of his thirst -- even though only moments ago he'd fed from the homeless man.

Grabbing her arms, he stared at her quivering... "Stop!" He practically pleaded. "I don't want to hurt you."

Helen halted suddenly by Benedicts doing. She stood straight, and sighed. She raised her own arms and placed them on his shoulders with a solem look on her face. "We have a lot of work to do, Benedict."

She returned to her crate, and looked up at him, studying his face. Honestly she had never tried to do something like this before... But she had hope. He really sincerely wanted to change...As far as she could tell. She took a deep breath, and smirked. "At least you had me stop, and resisted yourself. I have to be honest with you Ben... I've never done something like this before. It'll be a journey for the both of us."

She let out a small laugh, almost trying to comfort the two of them of the troubles that were surely going to come. Her blue eyes held hope, and her pure white face pale under the moonlight was softer than before.

Ben smiled back in appreciation, “Thank you for doing this for me.” He couldn’t understand why Helen was about to embark on a dangerous mission of the mind with a person she’d only met hours ago. But never the less he valued her help. “In a way I’m glad that you’ve never done this before. This way I won’t feel like the only complete lost one all the time.” He laughed.

Slowly his mind spun a web of questions, how would they do this?, how could they do this if the only way he could suppress his inner demons was to satisfy them?. The list went on and on… then it stopped as he looked at her face. The way it gleamed in the light of her surroundings and the way her eyes shone like bright blue moons on her face, she was not only a helping hand but she was a beautiful helping hand…

This would complicate things…

Helen nodded to his thanks, and wasn't sure if he should be thanking her yet. She hadn't really done anything yet.. Except do a little tempting... Honestly Helen herself wasn't sure why she was helping him. He smelled of every substance she could think of that she would rather not ingest, and he held rats. However.. Something of her long gone human nature seemed to redeem itself deep within her consciousness. She didn't quite remember what she was like as a human, but knew she was quite different.

"Don't be thanking me yet, Benedict. I don't know if its even possible to change one's nature..."

"Well, I'm sure that if there is a way, we'll find it. I need to change and I'm going to..." his eyes wandered then returned to hers, "even if it kills me."

He wasn't sure why he was so optomistic about the subject but he wanted to change. The monster that is his nature made it hard for him to hold a relationship even just a friendship. He hated his undead life as it stood.

She wasn't sure if she should encourage such radical commitment. However, it did show her that anything she coud do for him wasn't just a waste of time. Even if it was, it wasn't like she was going anywhere. She had a eternity... Time didn't really matter anymore.

Helen scratched her head, and looked around, usure of where to start. "Well, umm.. I suppose if you start getting a urge or something, let me know, and we'll try to supress it?" She felt gulity that she didn't know what to do, and that she was taking on such a big task, and result was very important to this lad. She hoped to whatever higher power existed, that she didn't disappoint him.

Benedict gave an unsure smirk, what was he really expecting? Maybe he wanted her to have all the answers he's been looking for most of his vampiric exsistance... it was selfish of him to presume such a thing but he wanted to better himself. He had tried many times before now to kill or even dull the corupt monster of his blood ... it was just ... hard.

"Yeah, a'rit..." He paused staring into nothingness then growled, "I just want this bloody monster to stop, Helen. Every time I do a certian thing the beast of my habits and urges just takes over and I lose control... I can't lose control anymore... FUCK!!" At the last word he picked up a large crate near him and threw it violently into the wall, shattering it.

He stormed over to a wall and leaned on it with his arms fully extended. He sighed angrily to himself, he knew he shouldn't have done what he just had but he couldn't stand himself. It made his temper rise as he continued to contemplate the evil thing his sire had given him.

Helen's confused expression went cold, and she watched his temper tantrum unapprovingly. She thought about slapping him across the face, but decided against it. She stood, crossed her arms, and shook her head. "Yeah, thats the way to solve all your problems, Benedict. Throw a big temper tantrum, because thats exactly what we're trying to fix!" Her voice was cold, and full of sarcasm, dripping from very word. She walked over to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Her eyes were still stern, but her voice lightened - only slightly. "This isn't going to be easy, and it isn't going to happen overnight. You and I need to give our all to fight this thing, alright?" She removed her hand, and walked to where he had thrown the crate, and kicked the shatters with her boot. His outburst was like a contradiction to his words. He had an outburst against not wanting to have them anymore. Great, just great. This was going to be difficult.

Benedict sighed again, she was right. He wanted to change but he still had the urge to be violent and his outburst was a moment of weakness. He turned and faced her, "I'm sorry, Pet."

Shaking his head he pulled a soft pack of cigarrettes from his pocket and pulled one out with his mouth. Putting the pack back into his pocket he patted himself down looking for a lighter... nothing. "Ye got a li'?"

Helen let out a sarcastic laugh, and shook her head. "Sorry? Why are you telling me sorry? Your only hurting yourself, Benedict." She shook her head, and laughed again. She placed a hand on her hip, and started pacing a bit.

As he asked her for a light, she raised an eyebrow. She shook her head, and rolled her eyes. "I'm not a fan of smoking. But I'm not going to stop you." She could only imagine what it would be like trying to tempt the beast out of a man with his personality and addictions. She sat down on a squeaky crate, and held her face in her hands. "No more outbursts Benedict. I know you get frustrated, but this is exactly what we're fighting. I'm thinking maybe to limit your feedings... and supervising them so you don't get out of control." She sounded like someone's mother, or a policeman watching a murderer go out on probation. Only thing was, murderers received more leniency than what Helen was giving Benedict.

"How does that sound to you? At this point it's only going to be trail and error."

Benedict picked up a rock and scratched his nail off it creating a spark, after a few good sized sparks he managed to light the cig. He listened intently as Helen spoke. He watched how her body acted as she spoke and thought her to be a very interesting specimen.

He raised his eyebrows as she spoke of feedings, "Limited and monitored feedings?" He sighed shakely and stared at her. This had better work, I usually feed almost every night.... but this is for my own good I suppose...

"Sounds a'rite, Helen." He threw down his cigarette and smushed it with the toe of his shoe. Looking back at her he wondered wether anything would really help, he hated being how he was but at the same time it was a part of him and it felt almost,... wrong to want to get rid of that evil... But he had to.

With a renewed motivation from his inner-consciounce, he approached her and stood about 2 feet in front of her, "When would we start this little mission-to-save-me?" He smirked trying to lighten the mood, he had taken her saying no more outbursts comment seriously and thought by trying to shed light on the moment he too might calm down.