Kieran had finally reached Demaitre, he had no idea what he was looking for, no idea what he was doing, though nature had always appealed to him. His attitude right now was to start knowing the surroudings of the city and the city itself, before feeling at ease. It was the way he had been taught as a child and he would keep to that. Though he seemed relaxed, his entire body was ready to spring on anything that would appear. He was like a lion ready to pounce on unsuspecting prey.

He was wearing black loose pants, that allowed him to move in any direction he wished, rapidly. He wore a dark blue shirt that matched at that moment the shade of his eyes and released the boyish charm he seem to carry with himself everywhere. His hair was pulled away from his face, put in a ponytail, allowing anybody to see his face quite clearly.

Kieran reached a clearing and sat down in the middle honing his senses on what he heard. He let his ears pick up on sounds and could hear animals around, they were mostly harmless. He picked other sounds of mortals going about and even a few vampires, what would the night bring?

Sera was simply sitting. Sitting on a swing of the playground of the quiet park. It wasn't so late really, so there were a few people out walking, but the cold that Seraphina could no longer feel was keeping them at bay it seemed.

Back and forth she moved gently, swinging a foot or so one way and coming back.

What was she doing out here? She didn't know. She was hungry, but she wasn't going to hunt. She only did that when she needed to... Otherwise someone would die and she couldn't bear to have another person die at her hands. This life was harder than Sera could have ever imagined really...

She hated it... And a part of her hated Ambros for making her like this, but she understood his actions. She had nearly been dead... If he had gotten there a second later it would have been too late. But hadn't there been a way where she wouldn't have had to be turned? Ambros said no. But was that to spare her feelings so she wouldn't hate him more?

But she still loved him. She couldn't help that really...

She caught the scent of a vampire suddenly and looked up. She could smell the blood on them, meaning that they were not a fledgling as she was... Looking around she blinked slowly, not seeing this vampire anywhere.... Where were they?

"Hullo? -Neone there?" She called out.

Kieran's eyes snapped in the direction on the sound, immediately on his feet, glancing around, very alert. He was perhaps a little paranoid, but he had been trained to be a warrior in difficult times, therefor he was always alert, even when he slept.

He shook out his head, noticing the one that had asked if anyone was there. She was only a fledgling, he glanced around a watched her for a bit, before walking decidely towards her. She had asked and he was going to answer. "Yes, I'm here." His voice still held the accent of his homeland. The soft scottish accent that woman seemed to adore, though he didn't know why. He wasn't going to ask either.

"Is there anything I can do for you, my lady?" Respectful towards woman, always. Something that had been drilled into him since birth and even after being turned. He gave her a tilt of his head.

She paused her swinging as she actually got a responce and saw a boy.. Young man rather, probably about her own age... And it made her blink. There were other young vampires? But... She hadn't seen any before. The youngest one she had seen was in her twenties... A real woman, not stuck in between like she was. But this boy, young man, was like her...

But he was older though... His maners remided her almost like Ambros'. A knight and protector even though he seemed so young.

"Do?" She smiled as she shook her head sadly. "Not unless you know a way to make me mortal again." She shrugged. Yeah it kinda sounded pathetic, but she hadn't wanted this life... Not so early anyway. There had been so much she wanted to do... And she missed the sunlight, the one thing that had always given her hope, knowing that there would be a new day to come and the sun would always shine...

"Sorry. Uh, no... I'm cool. Just kinda hanging here... Not many people around so not as tempted to try and feed or anything." She made an invoulentary face of disgust. It was just that thinking of people as... food... was kind of disturbing to her. Humans were friends, not food. "But uh... I'm Sera. Kinda new to this whole vampire thing." She looked down at the mulch of the playground.

Kieran looked over the young woman. She was like him, physically, though she was a lot younger in mind. He had gotten use to being a vampire thanks to his sire's sire. If it hadn't been for her, he probably never would have adapted as he had.

"Sadly I don't. Though there are times I wish I did." She hadn't adapted that was clear, she needed someone to help her. The sun was usually the hardest thing for recently turned mortals to deal with. "You perhaps can't seen the sun, but the moon is simply as beautiful." He gestured to the luminecense of the moon that shone down on both of them.

"As much as it might pain you to hear me say this, you have to accept that you are a vampire. It isn't always easy to accept, yet it is a part of you." He shrugged his shoulders. "By what you say I'm going to guess that you were turned against your will." He shrugged again. "That makes two of us." He took the swing next to her and it swung back and forth. "I can help if you like."

"Hmmm... The moon it is beautiful. I suppose it's a propper representation of our kind too." She said with a sigh. "Yeah... Just a pale reflection of the lives we used to be." She looked up at the moon for a moment before back at the young man who was now sitting on the swing next to her. "Agai- Well... Not really... I mean sorta. I... I knew of vampires. My sire was sort of a protector of mine and a lover. He knew I wanted to be with him, but he knew I wanted to actually grow up first... So it would look like we belonged together."

Yeah, of course she loved Ambros. She had since they first met. He had always been kind and gentle, loving and understanding. And she loved him with all her heart, but she couldn't help but hate what he did to her... Even though she understood it.

"I would have died if he hadn't saved me that night... But, he got there too late to do anything but turn me. It was the only choice he had, and he couldn't let me die... But... I'd rather not talk about that. Not right now anyway."

Why had she even told him. Just because he was turned against his will too didn't make them anything alike. "I accept what I am. I do. But that doesn't mean I have to like it either." She pointed out. "If Ambros can't help me... I don't know if you can. I mean... I don't think you would understand." She shook her head with an amused smile. "Guys just don't get it, I don't think. Kinda a girl thing really."

Kieran watched. Pale reflection of what they used to be? "I don't think you understand what I'm saying exactly. We are more than simple pale reflections. We are simply different. We lead lives that are apart from the rest of the world and we have to enjoy it and revel in it." He had accepted his entire life, the way it was suppose to be and now cursed to be a child forever. "It is never fair and life wasn't meant to be that way."

He tilted his head and he eyed her almost critically. "If you accepted who you really were, you wouldn't starve yourself, because that is what would mean to accept who you are." He looked around. "So where is your sire?"

Kieran looked at her. "A girl thing? Kinda? Well you won't know unless you talk about it. My sire's sire was female and she told me a lot of things and explained a lot that my sire wouldn't even have dared to try. Maybe I can help a little anyways."

"No. I don't starve myself." She said simply. She used to, but she had gotten past all that. Well sort of. She didn't starve herself exactly, she just didn't always feed when she needed to. Like now. She wasn't starving, but she was still hungry.

"I'm not hungry really. I just chose not to kill every night. You should understand at least that much." She turned her face away from him. "I don't know where he is tonight though... He was gone when I woke up, so I don't know." Was that a bad thing? Was is something that shouldn't be? He was his own person, he didn't have to cater to her every whim and she didn't have to follow him about like a shadow.

She looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. Explain? But... How? She had never really been able to put it into words before...

With a slight sigh she looked up at the moon, the stars...

"All my life, since I can really remember, all I ever was to anyone was just an object. A punching bag, a sex toy, a maid, a cook... Something like that." She shook her head. " I was never treated as a child then. I was always an adult to them. But now... I'm just... Just a kid to everyone who looks at me. Doesn't matter who, and now that there are people like you, older and all... I am treated like a kid, even though I've been through a hell of a lot more than some. And now... Now I'll always be like that ya know? Not a kid... Not an adult... Just kinda stuck on a fence." She kicked at the mulch. "I mean I guess you'd understand that last part a bit..."

Kieran raised and eyebrow. "You don't have to kill everynight, hell you don't have to kill at all." He shrugged casually. "I don't kill at all. I find it much more rewarding. There are things to be said about hearing a woman gasp in pleasure when you feed from them." He looked over to her, his eyes twinkling.

"I followed my sire for a bit. I was simply stuck in the middle of a war torn country. Being on your own at the point was not and is not the best of ideas. So I stuck close and learned everything I could." He leaned against one of the chains, reminiscing.

He listened carefully as she explained the way she felt. "Well you are simply a child. Have you ever met a vampire that have lived millennias? We are simply squabbling children to them. We are nothing and don't deserve to be anything, well in there eyes anyway."

He nodded. "But to mortals I am nothing but a child. I'm a vampire that have lived six centuries yet stuck in the body of a 15 year old. It's quite frustrating, but it can be also a blast. It may be sad, but the only way for our kind to survive especially for someone at our age is to manipulate mortals, especially the old ones. they are so sympathetic to children with no homes." An ironic smile played across his face. "Have you ever met old vampires stuck in bodies of true children, like a body of a ten year old? They are the ones I pity."

"I know I don't have to..." She said, looking away again, embaressed of her lack of control. "I can't stop though... Once I taste the blood... I just can't stop myself..." Gasps of pleasure... That was how Ambros had introduced her to this world... It had felt so wonderful...

"I can't do anything like that... I don't like to use sex as a weapon... to deceve and hurt people." she shook her head. "I don't know how either..." After all, she was mostly use to drunk guys simply fucking her. "Ambros taught me how to hunt of course... But I... I see the faces of all the ones I've killed when I sleep. I can't help but think of the families... I never really had one that I can remember, and I can't help but think I'm makign someone share that same life I did..."

She looked over at him. "Ambros has tried to help me stop, to control the thirst, but I can't. It's like something inside me takes over and I can't stop it. I've nearly killed him sometimes..." She said hesitantly. In the heat of passion she was much that monster when she drank. It was shere lust... A pleausre she had never been alowed before, and her body wanted, needed, that self-satisfaction at any cost.

"I dunno what ta do anymore though... I mean... How... How did you learn to control it? Didn't you just want that pleasure that just comsumes you? Just let it take over and never let it stop?" She asked softly.

Kieran chuckled, young fledglings were simply fascinating with there incessant questions, yet he had exactly like her when he had been recently turned. He got up and kneeled down next to her. He gently placed his fingers under her chin, making her look at him, his dark blue eyes piercing into hers. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens to all of us. I was like you when I was turned, would drink until I killed, but then I don't regret it much. I never liked the English."

He raised an eye brow at her. "Who says that I was talking about sex? There's more to pleasure than simply sex, you know. I said pleasure not sex, though I suppose they could be confused with each other." He sighed, releasing her chin. "It's not easy, it's something you learn to master over the years. It's like all abilities vampires get. You start to use them, start to control them, and then get better at it."

Kieran nodded, stood up and brushed his pants. "Of course I wanted that pleasure to simply consume me, but I didn't let it. I control the hunger, not the other way around. It will be hard, it can take centuries before perfect control is attained. My sire and my sire's sire, would pull me off before I would kill anybody. Well after letting me run pretty much wild for the first century or so. I needed to learn control and I did." He paused and mulled over the thoughts. "Perhaps it was easier for me, because of my warrior training, I had to learn control and when I was beat." It hadn't been quite that easy. It was like trying to tame a wild creature, though it was possible.

Sera shook her head. "Sorry... Never actually experianced pleasure in anything but sex and blood... And well, not always with the sex either..." As he tilted her head to look at him her eyes looked away. Those eyes... So blue and clear... Water. "But blood... That's always been pleasure for me... Something I never had before I met Ambros. No pleasure, no love or anything..." She shook her head. "I just can't stop myself from wanting it... Wanting it or taking it... My sire can't stop me either... He's not strong enough."

Ambros gave her pleasure of course, but it was like she was addicted. Addicted to that high that it gave her, a feeling unlike any other. She wanted it... She needed it.

"And for a while... I forget. I forget about everything... Mama... Papa... All the pain, the rapes... death. It just goes away for a bit..." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I guess... I guess it's like a drug... I've never been addicted to anything before. But... But I guess this is what it's like."

Kieran sighed. "Vampire life isn't easy, think of it as if you were a baby again. You don't control anything, you just react to the instincts of your body. When a baby is hungry it feeds. When we are hungry we feed. We are basically babies and then children. We learn, we adapt, that's who we are and what we do. We aren't always given a choice, but we deal with it."

Kieran shook his head and few strands falling out of hs pony tail. "Pleasure is so much more than simple sex. There's foreplay and kissing and groping, teasing, flirting. You've never experienced anything like that?"

He watched her. "Perhaps I can help, I'm pretty strong and I am quite old, I have a lot of years under my belt, I'm sure I can take care a you and stop you from killing people. It shouldn't be too hard. I'm sure that I can help." He nodded, smiling. "It is a drug, a delicious aphrodisiac. It is hard to stop even for me, but i force myself too." He paused thinking. "There is another alternative, if you are interested in knowing."

She shook her head in a silent reply. "Not really... I mean with Ambros a little. But never before him. I was just a tool before he saved me. My dad and I had a hard time paying bills... And he owed a bunch of people for his dru--" She paused. Her eyes widened for a momment in horror and then shut tight.

She shook her head and screamed in her mind. She was turning in to her father! Addictions... Willing to pay anything for what she wanted... She stood up and walked a few paces away... Then back as she rubbed her face with her hands. "God..." She whispered. "God what am I doing..."

She looked up at him. "I'm becoming like him... I'm becoming like the one person I hate..." She looked up though as he offered another solution.

"Wh... What's that?" She asked warily. "I... I don't know if I can." She shook her head. "I want to... But I don't know if I can..."

Kieran could almost see the thoughts running through her head, he was not a telepath, so he couldn't quite tell what she was thinking, but he had an idea. "You aren't him, you are different from him. You are trying to survive, there is the difference."

He went up to har and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to face him. "You don't mean what you do, blood is life for us, we need it, lest we die. Frankly I would rather feed then die, no matter what the consequences. You are not him, unless you want to be. You have a choice, what you are doing is for survival, no matter how high the thrill is when you feed." His eyes showed compassion, he knew of the trouble.

He let go of her. "As to a solution to your problem, you could always drink dead blood. It might not provide to rush of taking it from a mortal, but you won't kill anybody." He shrugged. "It's an option."

"You don't know... You don't know what he did... He would do anything to get a fix. He sold me damnit! His own daughter. He would just pass me around as payment for his drugs... His addictions." And here she was killing people, makign families suffer.

"I don't mean what I do? Bull shit... I see them... I follow them, I kill them, I love every minute of it..." It was just like her father... Her father knew the price, knew what he was doing...

She sank back into the swing. It was either that or fall to the ground.

"Dead blood?" She shook her head. "No... Tried it... I have to keep drinking it for it to help. Ambros knows it doesn't help... He won't give me any more..." She shook her head. She had tried that... She had convinced Ambros that it had worked for a while... But he saw through that. "It's not an option for me anymore... Sorry..."

But part od her didn't want it to be. She wanted the blo- No!

"There has to be another way. Right? I mean. If youre six hundred, then you're older than my sire a little... Maybe you've come across something maybe that can help?"

Kieran snorted. "You do it to survive, he did it for a fix. There's a difference. Besides he had no right to treat you the way he did. Father's are suppose to love their children, then again there are all kinds of fucked up people out there."

He shrugged. "I can't even drink dead blood, I was sick for two days when I first had it, My sire had to take care of me. Apparently as you age you start to get used to it, to enjoy it, to actually have the blood sustain you. Of course it is all hypothetical."

He shook his head. "Nothing. I've talked to ancients and they tell me that there is nothing but the blood to survive." He paused, thinking. "Well they weren't all that sane, but I believe what they said." He let a sigh. "The only other possibility is death. I'm sure that people are going to miss you if you give in to death."

He shrugged again. "Nothing can change who we are and nothing can change our nature, we are at times no better than animals." He shook his head and turned to her. "Have you ever met a child-vampire? Someone in the body of a six, seven, eight year old body?" Perhaps it was way off topic, but the other talk was depressing him.

"No... I kill for the fix... I need that rush, that pleasure... That passion and exhiliration... It's my drug... I need it just like he need it... And... And now. I see why..."

Her mother's death had been so hard on him, she hadn't even relaized how hard... He had to forget the pain to even live a half life that he had. He needed her body... the one that so resembled her mother... He needed the drinks to forget her love her voice... She needed to forget the pain that he caused her.

She sighed. "I know why he did it all..." Shaking her head she looked up at his random question. "Huh? Well I...." At the masquerade.... "Yeah... Just one though. He was about... ten maybe? He seemed to like it though... Seemed to be happy. But I didn't get to talk to him much... But why? Why does it matter?" She asked curiously.

"Hey, what's your name anyway? I gave you mine at least." She said looking at him, trying to push the thoughts of her father out of her mind.

Kieran smiled. "They may seem happy, but they aren't not the way we think. Imagine, you are stuck in the body of a child. They can never feel love the way adults do. The way you do, the way I do. Imagine being forever a child. Dreaming of being an adult but never being one. It must be very hard on them."

Kieran chuckled. "I'm sorry, my name is Kieran Taran Blair. I'm from Scotland." It was pretty obvious where he was from, his accent said it all. Even though he had lived a long time, his accent was clearly present and it was ever so charming. He had strived to keep it, knowing that if he forgot it would be like forgetting a part of himself. "I must be forgetting my manners. Olivia wouldn't be happy, neither would my father."

"I doubt there are... But I don't know. I think I rather be like that forever... Not knowing exactly what I'm missing... But then again, what was taught all the time wasn't the best." She shrugged. "But being able to be a kid forever... It would have it's advangages... In todays society, anyone would try to help a lost kid, or take them in to shelter them..." She shrugged.

"A rag-muffin teenager who looks half starved and like an addict of sorts? No. No help. One woman actualy came up to me to tell me that she worked at a drug rehab center and they could help me with my 'problem'." Sera said with an amused grin. "Yeah, wild huh? I guess some people pay attention to what matters..." Anyone who would dare look close into her earthy eyes would see al the miles, all the pain she had been through. Sera shook her head though, a slight sigh escaped her lips.

But she look up as he finaly introduced himself.

"Well. Kieran. Interesting name enough... But I doubt Seraphina is any more common." She smiled. "Olivia? Is that your sire?" She asked curiously. "Or I guess... Your grannd-sire." Well... His sire's sire would be his grand-sire right? It only made sence, and he had spoken of them both. Well... Maybe he refered to his sire as his father... For her to call anyone her father would be an insult to them... But all dad's couldn't be bad right?

Kieran shook his head. "They know what they are missing and some of them wish to be familiar with what they miss. It's like having a candy bar and wanting it, but it's just out of reach and no matter how much you try, you can't reach it. I suppose that's how it feels to them."

"My name isn't all that unusual back home, it's still quite popular today. I don't know if I should feel flattered or not." He nodded. "You're catching unwanted attention. I dress up and no one asks question, except whether I'm mentally deranged or not, then again no one is quite sane, so I suppose the question answers itself." He paused and looked at the moon, eyes thoughtful.

"Olivia was my grandsire, and she was a good one at that. She dolled out discipline when she thought either my sire or I needed it. A little hard to live with but then again she had high expectations. My mortal father though was tough on discipline. He was the first person that taught me to respect women, then Olivia confirmed it. She was awesome." He smiled remembering her, patience of an angel, the whip of the devil.

Sera shrugged at his mention of 'unwanted attention'. Yeah it was unwanted, but it wasn't her fault. She wasn't invisible as she wished she could be sometimes. She was thin, almost sickly so, and pale most of the time simply because she didn't feed all that often.

She gave a soft smile though as Kieran spoke of his grand-sire and father. What she would give to have a decent one of either. "Heh... Seems our father's taught us different things... Subserviance, weakness, submission and silence" She shook her head. "Anyway, just conciter yourself lucky for having them lead you I guess. Some vampires aren't quite as lucky as you when it comes to teachers." And that thought made her speculate about her own....

Was he a good sire? A good teacher?

She didn't know...

"So... What's Scotland like? I heard it's absolutly beautiful... I've always wanted to travel, but I never had the choice really... Or the money." She shrugged. "Maybe you remember a bit unless you've been here a while..."

Kieran sighed. "Sadly not everyone can be lucky, because if everyone was lucky then we wouldn't know what lucky would be." Kieran paused to look at her. "You don't have to act the way your father taught you, not anymore. It might be hard to do differently, but you can try, let loose, let yourself simply go. It's fun, you should try it."

Kieran smiled fondly as he talked about his homeland. His accent deepening, with the love of his home country. "It is beautiful, the most beautiful of all lands, though people from ireland might disagree. There are trees and forests everywhere, plains also. A lot of open spaces that I took advantage of in my youth."

He sighed regretfully. "We didn't stay there very much after I was turned. There was war afoot and we moved to England." The last was said with a scowl. "Never liked the English much."

"Let myself go? Let loose?" Sera couldn't help but chuckle. "If I do that Kieran, I'll just kill... I might not seem like the rampaging murderous type... But I am. I don't want to be, but I can't help it." She tucked a strand of dark hair that escaped her pony tail behind her ear. "Not my idea of fun I can assure you."

She fell silent though as he began to speak of his homeland. She had always wanted to travel, to see the world, but she never got the chance. And she doubted she ever would. Sera was of course disapointed at this fact, but it was one she would eventualy accept. Maybe.

"It does sound nice though. Maybe one day I'll get to go... But I dunno. Ambros doesn't like to travel I don't think..." She shrugged. "War? Well I guess long ago that stuff happened more frequently... I've lived here for all my meger life, so well, never knew anything about the 'outside world' really. But I guess I got all the time I need 'eh?"

Kieran shook his head but couldn't help but smile. At least she was chuckling. "That's not what I meant by letting loose. I was thinking more of letting yourself loose, like now. You seem so..." he paused his eyes narrowing, critically going over her. "...submissive. I know that you are perhaps used to that, but now you don't have to worry, let yourself fly." He tilted his head looking at her face. "You should let your hair down too. I think that it'll look nice."

"It is nice, I kinda miss it." His eyes lit up at a thought. "Perhaps we could go together, I could show you around, I mean it is my homeland and maybe it did change a bit, but the natural sites are mostly the same. It would be fun to have company, even your sire can come with us, if he wants." He missed to having people around him. He had quite a few siblings and a lot of friends as a child. He had lived with his sire and grandsire and now was utterly alone, it was fun to meet new people.

She shook her head slightly. "That's just how I am. That's what I know." She said quietly, looking away. Ambros always said the same thing. Even in bed, she was never dominant. She might be on top, but she was never truly dominant. As for her hair? She was used to having it back as well. "It gets in the way when I'm cleaning... Or feeding these days. Used to be cooking, taking care of my father's friends..." She said hesitantly. "I tried cutting it... But it just grew back... So I just keep it back. It's just easier to deal with."

She looked up at him and blunk slowly. Go to Scotland with him? "No... I would love to. I really would. But I would never have the money for something like that..." Sera shook her head slowly. "Thank you for the offer though... I really wish I could go."

Slowly her mind began to wander... He had mentioned flirting before... Was he doing that now? Was his invitation more than what it seemed? No... That wasn't possible was it? But she had never flirted with any boys before... She didn't know. But he had invited Ambros, so she didn't really think so.

"Maybe some day when I have enough money, we could take the trip. I wouldn't want to be a burdan or anything..."

Kieran looked at her, really looked at her. "I'm no asking you to take over the world or anything. I'm simply asking you to let loose a bit." He paused a bit. "Be a little more flashy." He raised an eyebrow at the mention of why she kept it tied back. "Well as far as I know you aren't doing anything like that and to make it fair, I'll let my hair down too." He reached behind and pulled out the elastic, allowing his blond hair to simply fall down his back. It flowed and was almost halfway down his back. He never got it cut and preferred it that way.

Kieran smiled. "Who says you need money? Do you know how I got here? How many vampires get here, to the glorious new world. Most of us are stow aways. Some can't afford the way over, others do it for fun. That's how I got here. My sire told me that if I wanted to get to the new world I had to make my way over on my own and I did." People had thought that he was a ghost. He'd materialize out of thin air and vanish before anyone could even get remotedly close to him. It had been great fun.

"Well if you want to do it and actually pay. Sure we can do it that way." He shook his head. "Oh you wouldn't be a burden, I'd be glad to show off where I grew up, it would be fun."

His hair was nearly as long as hers... But so smooth it seemed... And soft. She wanted to reach out and touch the light strands... They were so much different from her own thick, slightly curly chocolate colored strands.

Her hand even raised slightly as if to brush his hair, but she caught herself and let it fall back to her lap. "No... I think I'll keep it up for now. It's such a bother down... Really Kieran." She said quietly, looking away as if embaressed.

"Stow away? That's not right though... I mean they work hard to earn their money. It would be like refusing to pay for a meal at a resturaunt, or downloading music." She shrugged. "Besides, one person really wouldn't be noticed. Three though?" She shook her head. "Bound to be seen, vampire or not...." But there was another reason that just came across her mind. "Besides. I wouldn't be able to take a ship and the travel couldn't be too terribly long, otherwise I would kill... You and Ambros can control yourselfs. So unless you two can keep me under control, I'm bound to cause a stir."

Kieran saw he hand move. "You can touch my hair, I don't mind. When I was younger, well physically, so before I was turned, I sometimes couldn't sleep, so my mother would play with my hair and it would help me relax and I would fall asleep." He paused thinking it over. "Come to think of it my grandsire did the same. Hmmm."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well for some of us, we don't have any choice. We have no other way to get here, besides none of the sailors died and it was kinda fun. Besides I'm sure both me and Ambros could control you, perhaps we could invite another and make this a party of four. It'd be more fun that way..." He tapped his chin. "It's a thought to consider."

Touch his hair? No... She couldn't. Not with her lack of control. One thing with her inevitably lead to another... And he was only a guy after all.

She shook her head. "I better not..." She said in her same soft voice, lookingdown with a sheepish smile. "Wouldn't want to make you fall asleep." She gave a small smile.

"But as for going... I... I guess it could be fun... I don't know." She had a tendancy to be shy around other vampires... Especialy older ones. But then again everyone was older than her. "I'd have to talk to Ambros of course... I dunno what he'll say... But I would like to see new places..."

Kieran chuckled, his laughter filling the air around them. "I'm not going to fall asleep, if I was lying down perhaps I would, I don't mind really." He paused trying to catch her eye and not succeeding. "Are you sure you don't want to touch?"

Kieran watched her. "You should it's a lot of fun. Perhaps you could start with places closer to home, you know like the United States, perhaps go to California or Florida. It's closer and I hear that they have beautiful beaches." A grin split his face. "I'm sure that you could make Ambros do whatever you want. Guys are quite malleable if you press the right buttons."

(OOC: Kieran can hardly wait to meet Kanti, he's been prodding me for the past few days to say something. Perhaps after this thread we could move to a Kanti/Kieran thread?)

((Sure :) ))

Of course he couldn't catch her eye, she wouldn't ever look him in the face. Those eyes... They were too striking. "Oh... Well, I guess that's a good thing then... But still. I better not." Did he want her to touch his hair? Was that just her imaginaiton? She wanted to, but if she did...

"I'd like to go... But those places are meant for sunlight... Laying out in the warmth on the sand... Not for people like us... Besides, I don't like water all that much." She shrugged. "But I would never try to manipulate Ambros... I love him too much to hurt him like that."

No, you never manipulated the ones you loved. You manipulated the ones you hated, or didn't care about. You didn't hurt the people that meant everything to you. Besides... As she had said, what would be the fun in going to the beach when you couldn't enjoy the feel of the sun on your skin... She longed for that feeling again, and her face fell even further as she thought of the fact she would never be able to feel it again.

"I miss the sun though... If I were to die in this life... I would want to die with the sunrise... To see it a last time. It would be nice..." She said in a rather off-hand manner. But then she sighed and looked up. "Why do things like this have to happen? I would give anything to be myself again..."

Kieran shrugged, she obviously didn't want to. "You don't have to touch it, I'm simply saying that I don't mind." He shrugged again. "It's your lost." He pushed his hair over his shoulder. If she changed her mind, he wasn't going to make it easy on her. He didn't understand why she was so relunctant, but then it was none of his business.

Kieran thought what she said over. "Who says you have to go for the weather? I go for the sights, there is so much to see, no matter where you go. Something I want to do, is go on a tram in SAn Francisco I hink that it would be fun."

He shook his head. "When I mean manipulate, I mean treat him to something, so he'd do something for you. It isn't truly manipulating, simply doing something for someone and they do something for you. Tit for tat. Simple really."

"You miss the sun? How do you think I feel? I haven't seen or felt the sun in almost 600 years. I was always outside when it was sunny, playing in the fields. I miss that. I really do." He gave a regretful sigh. "Unfortunately there is nothing to do to change back."

Yes, it was her loss, but it was one she had to accept. It was difficult sure... She wanted the things he talked about... But she wanted them from Ambros... Was that right? N... No... She just wanted.

She looked up though as he spoke of fair trades...

"But..." Her voice was confused, if not hesitant. "But Kieran.... If you love someone... Would you really expect them to return a favor? I mean... I could never just hold it to him if I do something for him... If I do something... It's because I love him and because I want to..."

No... She would never expect Ambros to return somethign thought of as a favor... She did things for him because she loved him. She cleaned, she pleasured him, all because she wanted to, Not because she expected something in return. She might not know a lot about love, but she knew that tallying favors and holding cards was not love. Love was never simple as it should be.

She nodded though as he asked if she missed the sun. "Yes... Very much. It... It was like the only hope I had... The only freedom and joy in my life... That feel of warm sun." Her father would always make her be home by sundown, leaving her the sunlight hours. But... he still missed it? You didn't get used to the darkness...

So... there was no hope at all then. There wasn't anything to wish for anymore... She sighed heavily and leaned back in the swing, looking up at the stars... The moon... The pale reflections of her life. "I was hoping I would grow used to the idea of this... But... I guess I won't..." She said quietly, looking back down at the mulch.q

Kieran shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, his hair flying and leaving strands over his shoulders. "How am I supposed to know? I've never felt love, not the way you seem to feel it. Any love I felt was more like friendship than actual love. What you feel is total alien to me. I've never had the luck that you have."

It was alien to him. He lived in a family, even after he was turned, his sire was like a father and his grandsire was like a mother. He was the child, and they acted like a family. They looked like one. He had no concept of the love between a man and a woman. He understood lust and care, but when it came to love, he didn't quite understand it. He had never felt it, even though he yearned to know what it was like.

"You get used to the darkness, but it doesn't make you forget the sun. You always miss the things you don't have and that includes the things you once had." The look in her eyes shows desperation, the lost of hope. "There is always hope, no matter where you go. The moon unlike it's counterpart is the beauty of the night. The sun is bright, almost like it is trying to prove something, while the moon simply shines because it can." He paused thinking. "The moon has it's own appeal, you just have to find how it appeals to you."

"I dunno if it's luck or not Kieran...." She shrugged. "I mean I love him so much that I tear myself up over him sometimes. I'll do whatever I have to to make him happy, no matter what it costs me."

She had loved her father too. She had at one point truly loved him. And maybe she still did.

"Where you know of having family, I know not what that is like... Someone caring for me unconditionaly because they are part of me? I don't have that with Ambros even. Not that I feel." She shook her head slightly. They could not understand eachother on these terms... They had never known what the other experianced, and had not experiance what the other had.

"No... It only shines because the sun lets it... It doesn't create light of it's own Kieran, no matter how much you wish it to, it is simply a ball of dust and rock. It's not steady, it doesn't give us any heat or warmth... The sun to me always meant life Kieran." Didn't he understand?

"It's pretty sure. But it isn't anything but pretty."

Kieran looked at her. "Well it would seem that we each had different experiences. I had the experience of a family that cared for me and let me go, when I wanted to, while you have the experience of love between a man and a woman. That it seems I will only be able to wish for, never experience. Who would want a half-grown man?" Though he was adorable and even handsome, he was aware of the fact that he wasn't a real man and perhaps that he would never be. He would always be a kid in the eyes of many women.

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "You are tellling me what it is scientifically, that has no interest to me. Take it for what it is. It is the sun of vampires and gives us more than enough light, besides we do not need heat, for we do not freeze." He looked at her and took her face in his hand, being gentle. "Don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but you aren't alive anymore. I know that it sucks, but you have to deal with it."

"I don't care! I miss the feeling that it gave me! The hope, the warmth... It was all I had to hold on to in my life and I don't even have that anymore. Ambros... His arms are inviting... But they're cold... They aren't warm or anything... And I need that... It's comforting..." She whispered.

She needed that warmth and that feeling of comfort... And...

She sighed as he spoke of never finding the love of a woman. She forced her own thoughs from her mind and looked up at him. "Other vampires will understand... They will know that you aren't as you appere." She gave him a soft smile. "Have... Have you ever made love to a woman before Kieran?" She asked hesitantly as she put her hand over one of his. Her earthen eyes met the crystal blue of his ernestly now as she asked.

Yes he was young... But so was she. If she were to lose Ambros... It would be difficult for her to find another lover.... She knew that feeling at least. She knew he was alone now... And she wanted to ease his fear of never finding a companion... Help him to feel... Not so alone...

Kieran smiled. "Make a fire, it is warm and inviting. It might give you the warmth that you crave. It is a good place to start if you want warmth. The sun is basically a ball of fire, create your own ball of fire. A fire could work." He looked at her and smiled.

He raised an eyebrow in her direction. "Yes I have. A person doesn't live 600 without at least trying it. My grandsire was nice enough to indulge me into the pleasure of taking a woman, but there is a fundamental difference between taking a woman and loving her. Sex and love are two completely different things. You can have sex without feeling love, but you can feel love and have sex."

He sighed and gave her a quizzical look. Was she offering? He thought that she was with someone yet here she was offering sex. "What are you offering exactly?" The look was still quizzical and now he was a little confused as well.

Sera smiled and shook her head slightly. "You think I don't know that Kieran?" She asked as her hand slid from his. "I know it is a drastic differance, I know them both well." She fell silent though as she moved sligthly in the swing.

She couldn't help but blink as he spoke again.

"Offering? I don't know... I didn't think I was offering anything. I was just curious, That's all." She said quietly. "You just seem so alone... Like you could use some company or something... Not like sex or anything-" Granted she probably wouldn't turn him down if that was what he wanted. "But just a friend or something ya know..."

Yeah she was with Ambros, and he had her heart. Her body however, was hers. She could do with it as she pleased and Ambros understood this thankfully. She recently had only given her body to him, but that was by her choice.

"It's no fun being all alone, yeah?"