"RATTER!"

Colton slammed the old church door behind him as he stormed into the church. It was late. Three something? Maybe later.

Colt looks like a normal human tonight. Jeans, teeshirt, no three piece suit deal that he's usualy found walking around in. No, tonight he's just a normal vampire with a normal need to beat the shit out of a nosey little nothing of a vampire who dared to disrespect him. Yes, him. The Great and All Mighty Coven Leader.

Colton said that over in his head a few times before stomping down the stairs of the catacomb. Those words gave him power. Yes, power, and a reason behind why it was okay to let his frustration out on another coven member. He was the leader. No one could question him.

Ahh, the power.

"RATTER. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW."

"You called, glorious leader?"

The words are sourceless at first, shadowed hallways echoing their ever-so-respectful tones, until suddenly he's there, shadows curling and twisting and suddenly a man with shadowed eyes and shadows in the hollows of his gaunt cheeks and the shadow of beard. A man who looks at his leader with the eyes of a rat, the eyes of someone who trusts nothing and no one because nothing and no one trust him.

He grins slowly, showing teeth. "Always a pleasure to be of service." It's almost a hiss, an insinuation, a taunt.

He hasn't forgotten Colton's little indescretion. Oh no.

Ratter does it deliberately, you know. He loves to make you angry, make you react, make you twitch. Make you react, rather than act, because it makes him feel powerful.

It's too late for Ratter. Colton's been acting this out in his head for a week. One week of dreaming about what it would feel like to smash his fist into the face of a rat. A stinking, pathetic, nothing of a rat.

Ratter doesn't get the pleasure of getting a reaction this time. Nope, he just gets the flat action.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Colton's too afraid to punch him, so he substitutes the punch with a hard shove. "You think you have the right to... To..." And Colton, at a loss of words, shoves him again, harder this time.

Ratter didn't do anything wrong, and it pissed Colton off.

Ratter grins lazily, stretches.

Looks at Colton from beneath hooded eyelids.

"Oh, I don't know, oh glorious leader... it might help if you told me what I might have been thinking about...."

Ratter has no idea what he might have done to piss you off. Really. No idea at all.

Granted, a very large part of that is that he does that kind of thing on a regular basis to a great many people.

I'm surprised he remembers Colton's name.

No - that isn't fair. Colton's a special case. Ratter doesn't bother Colton for fun, Ratter bothers Colton for a very simple and yet very complex reason - Colton makes him feel defenseless. Ratter gets nasty when he feels defenseless. If Colton told Ratter to jump in front of a bus, go out in broad daylight?

Ratter would likely do it.

Ratter hates that about himself, that obedience, and he masks it well for that very reason. People don't think that the rebel of the group will obey orders, they think he's a rebel, a misfit. They don't give him orders. It's worked since his boyhood sixty years ago, and here's hoping it keeps working for forever and a day.

The fact that Ratter just grinned his shoves off was enough to completely break Colton down. Look at that. He couldn't even punish Ratter for his unknown crime.

And now Ratter was questioning him. Wonderful. He was the leader. The glorious leader. Sure, he currently lacked all glory and followers, but, c'mon. He was trying, wasn't he?

No. He was giving up. Colton's shoulders slumped and he shook his head. Ratter looked high. Acted high. Wasn't any different from any other time they had been forced into each other's company, but right now it was just depressing. The fact that Ratter was off in some happy place and Colton was being forced to stare down some unclean, intoxicated rat...

Life isn't fair.

"Just shut up," Colton spits, a hint of venom and a hint of resign in his tone. "I hate you, you know. You're an ass."

And he's bitter. And they both know that.

"Oh, I know. I try." He's glad his efforts haven't gone to waste.

Ratter is high, isn't he?

Yes, that sheer glee is hard to manufacture without intoxication, that gleeful destruction, that gleeful disregard for everything and everyone, it only really comes to him when he's flying like a kite.

It's why he tries to stay up all the time.

A drug addict that old - when he comes down, it isn't pretty.

I'll have to show you sometime.

"Why the long face, glorious leader?" Life's good. Death's better.

Be happy. Grab a bite.

Soar.

Colton scoffed lightly and shook his head. Ratter didn't try at anything. That was what was so annoying about him. He didn't try. He just did, and it always ended up being a flawless performance of piss-you-off.

I don't want to see him when he comes down. Spare me. Please.

Colton's feeling pretty snappish right now. Long face? He's not in the mood for insults or Ratter's fake concern, whichever it is at this moment.

"Fuck off."

On second thought.

"Actually, no. You. You and your walking in on me the other night. I want to know why."

He looks very motherly, what with the folded arms across his chest and the glare down his nose at someone shorter and far more childish than he.

Oh, but you do. You do. You just don't know it yet.

It'll be stunning.

"Why? Why not? Did you say to me, stay out of my room? No? Then I'm not going to stay out of your room, am I?" Ratter is being Reasonable. "We're family, dear leader, there are no secrets between us."

If Ratter were any more sweet and reasonable, he'd choke on his own tongue.

And now he's laughing at you, not aloud, but not bothering to hide it either, because Ratter is amused and Ratter loves his life and Ratter, in general, is having a blast.

I wouldn't call Ratter's concern fake, though. Professional, maybe. Someone making the leader unhappy, if they weren't part of the coven, made the coven (by proxy) unhappy. So maybe something needed to be done in Colton's personal life.

If Colton would share anything about his personal life.

Either Colton is a very private person, or he hates Ratter.

Pondering this, probably both.

I'm sure it would boggle the mind.

Definitely both. Ratter'll have to hit up Celeste with ice cream and cookies if he wants to know anything about Colton.

Not that Colton's got a lot of interesting stuff. He's a single white guy who pushes papers in an office and sticks so close to a daily routine that he hasn't purchased a different brand of shampoo in three years. Nope. Won't even go that far out on a limb.

His hair hates him for it. That's why it's defying the hair spray he tried to put in this evening.

"It's common sense to stay out of other people's rooms!" Colton sounds exasperated. He's trying to teach a lesson to someone who obviously doesn't care. "And we're not family."

I'd say that Ratter's professional concern is pretty fake. I mean, sure, he can be concerned about Colton all he wants, but in the end, he's still looking out for his tail and his tail alone. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems slighty selfish and fake to me.

Then again, no one actually gives a damn about Colton's life, so this is probably as real as concern gets for him.

Oh, that's sad.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

"A coven is the family you choose, glorious leader, didn't you know?"

I guess that makes Ratter your annoying elder brother.

Your incredibly annoying elder brother, at that.

"I'll stay out of your room from now on, I suppose."

Maybe.

Colton glares at Ratter with a mixture of disgust and shock in his eyes.

"You think I chose you? You think I want you to be my so-called family?"

Insert laughter here. It's out of place, coming from Colton. He never laughs. We'll overlook the fact that it's a sarcastic, forced laugh and remind the reader now that sarcastic and forced or not, it is laughter.

Colton never had an older brother. He always wanted one, too. Guess one should be careful what they wish for, eh?

"Thanks... I mean, good."

Colton reasoned that out in his head a moment too late. Why should he thank someone for respecting his privacy? Plus, I think it's safe to say he knows Ratter's going to pop in again in the future. They were going to have to spend eternity together, till one of them keeled over or something, and Ratter was high. Too high to remember a damned thing Colton was saying.

"What did you want, Ratt."

Aww, look! He affectionately shortened Ratter's name to something he found more suiting! They must be friends.

So sad, so sad, so very true.

Ratter does try to remember things.

And then he fails oh-so-miserably.

Funny, really.

"C'mon, man, I'm not that terrible, am I?"

Yes, Ratter. You really are.

"As for wanting, welllllll... I don't remember. It was probably important. Ask me in a few days when I can think about things other than why your head looks like a fish...."

Yep. Ratter's high.

What's even more amusing is the fact that Colton doesn't even think Ratter-boy tries. So, really, just by trying he's exceeding Colton's expectations. Does Colton respect him for it?

Ha.

"If you showered..." Colton muttered to himself. And shaved. And ate. And wore real clothes. And the list went on in Colton's mind. All physical, mind you. He wasn't even about to try berating Ratter for whatever emotional/mental problems he might have. Oh no. Colton's overloaded with his own problems there.

But at least he's clean.

He's also extremely self conscious. The fish comment was a little too much for Colton's vanity. The fact that he doesn't show in mirrors is torture enough. Now he's being told his head looks like a fish?

Colton glares at Ratter before shaking his head--fish, whichever--and rolling his eyes. "Are you ever not high?"

"Oh no, my dear fish. Sometimes I am hungover."

Just for novelty.

"And if I had access to a shower, maybe I would shower. I live in a tomb, remember?"

And it's not like he has the money for clothes, or a proper bathroom, or... well, the list goes on.

Poor, poor abused rat. Really, he lives a hellishly hard life.

Really.

Colton doesn't find his novelty amusing. The persistance with the fish comments are starting to worry him. If he thought Ratter would stop by him asking, then he'd ask. Trouble is, asking makes him look self conscious and paranoid about the fish name, and that's amusing.

Well, for Ratter, at least.

"I'll remember to bring you a bucket of water and razor..." Colton grumbled, haf serious. He was playing with his hair, whcih was a cover for feeling over the contours of his head. Didn't feel fishlike to him...

"Maybe if you sobered up you could make yourself useful. Become... Oh, I dunno. A sewer technitian, or something."

"I have spent my life and death avoiding being useful, my fishy friend. I'm not about to start now."

He grins toothily.

"I could do your job."

Just saying here.

He could totally do your job better than you are.

Really.

Couldn't do it any worse, hm?

Colton threw his hands down to his sides. "Stop calling me fishy!" Ratter whipped out one too many fish comments. Colton's delicate vanity couldn't handle much. Consequence of dating a gay man for a little over two years. "Just... Just stop."

Heehee. He's pleading because he knows how stupid he sounds. Maybe by sounding pathetic on top of stupid, Ratter'll listen.

Ten bucks he doesn't.

"You can't do my job. You're not... Sober. Ever."

The fact that Ratter could do his job high just as well as Colton does it sober should probably be mentioned. The fact that Colton has no other arguement, other than the fact that Ratter's dirty and high should also be mentioned.

"And. And people wouldn't respect you."

The fact that no one respects him is the last thing that should be mentioned.

Based on the above facts, Ratter's odds look really good.

"They don't respect you either. I'm used to disrespect." He made an artfully mournful face. "It's tragic, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice. For the team."

He looks at Colton sidelong, eyes hooded in that expression that says that he takes nothing seriously - not you, not himself, not nothing.

And your head looks like a fish.

A flounder, specifically.

Colton's pout is real. "Least they're used to me." And they'd respect him less if he handed his coven over to a drunk/high/dirty rat man.

But see. Then he could leave. Join the Enashe. Then he'd be in his rightful place and the Nephim coven wouldn't need to respect him.

But he's stubborn.

"No."

There are no more arguments. It's a good tactic, considering arguing means he'll lose.

And, Colton liked flounder. You are what you eat, I guess.

"Of course, glorious leader."

I see we're back to that.

"I could, though. Lead. Just saying."

He could do your job in his sleep.

Given his current mood, he's practically sleeping anyway.

Better glorious than fishy, if you ask me.

"No one would follow. I wouldn't."

Colton shrugs lightly.

"Just saying."

'Just saying' is an equivilant to 'no offense'. Whichever way you look at it, it's still offensive and Colton still said it, so that makes him an ass.

"I follow you, and you're not an impressive specimen of vampiric life. Learn some fucking loyalty, kid."

...odd.

Ratter actually meant that.

Colton is the leader. It doesn't matter what Ratter thinks of him personally (which can be summed up in the word 'wanker'), Colton's the leader. End of story.

In public, Ratter would be far more respectful.

Sadly, there really isn't a public around at the moment.

Colton's taken aback by Ratter's words. Odd, indeed. Colton crossed a line that he didn't know about.

"I... Sorry."

And, like Ratter, he actually meant that. Colton bows his head in an attempt to conceal how embarrassed he feels right now. Big oops.

Colton's view on the vampiric leadership system is tainted. He's a spoiled brat, in many regards. He's the youngest fledgling of the Enashe coven leader, and was basically handed the Nephim coven on a silver platter by the ex-leader due to two reasons: Lily would be able to advise Colton on issues and Colton had been the only vampire around that particular night.

"I'd follow. I... I just... Um. I'd do it."

Sadly, there is never a public around. If there was, they'd laugh at Colton right now. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, much like a disobedient child fiddles with something while they get chewed out by a "very disappointed" mother.

Ratter looks at the ceiling for a long moment, and sighs.

"You're too fucking young, kid. You don't have experience and you don't have friends. I can't fucking help you if you won't fucking let me."

Apparently, when Ratter is being honest, he swears a lot.

Somehow I am unsurprised.

"We're all just addicts, kid. Remember that. It doesn't matter what you look like, you're just as addicted to the next dose as I am."

Who knew Ratter was a philosopher?

Don't answer that.

Colton nods softly as Ratter reminds him again of how young he is. He's twenty-four now. Just twenty-four. Not 'I look twenty-four if I dress a certain way.' No. He looks younger. Right now, he looks about seven, what with his childish demeanour.

"I know, Ratter... I didn't exactly ask for this, you know," he said defensively, glancing back up the Ratter. "Jason didn't know how old I was. He... He only knew one thing about me... And then I got stuck like this."

Stuck. Sadly, rules did bind him to the position till his death. He didn't want to die.

"If you'd stop attacking me and started helping me, I'd let you. I can't do this."

His tone is subdued. Resigned. Ratter wins, but they both knew that before this whole fight started.

"Not what I meant, kid. You're young for a vampire. Not that you're not young in general, just...."

He trails off, mostly because he lost track of what he was saying because, hey, high.

"Turned at ten, someone your age could be passable. Turned whatever age you were? Not a chance."

Nothing personal.

He doesn't mean to sound so pessimistic, really. He's trying to be helpful here.

Colton shook his head again. Ratter didn't understand. 'Course, Colton wasn't clear about much, so it was hardly Ratter's fault that he didn't understand.

Well, except for the fact that he's high.

"No... Jason... He was the coven leader here before me. Named me as the temporary heir because he was in a rush and I happened to get in his way... He tried to get to California... But we never heard back from him. The coven house in Minnianapolis sent word that he had been killed... I mean, this was all by chance. I never wanted to be leader."

That's more words than he's said in a week.

He looked sullen. Ratter made him angry and Ratter made him depressed. What Colton needed was a dose of whatever the hell Ratter was on.

Ratter thought about this, expression vague and slackening as a wave of something-or-other takes him, destroys all rational thought, and leaves him breathless.

He loves it. He grins.

After a prolonged pause, he responds slowly, "Do you even want the job?"

Confusing.

"At all?"

Colon's turn to pause, only with Colton, he's not going to hit some euphoric wave of happiness. No, he's stuck with his own thoughts.

"I... I guess, you know?"

He shakes his head, unhappy with his answer.

"No, no... I just want to prove to everyone that I can do it."

And there's his stubborn, teenage side again, slowly working it's way up his spine into a formidable temper tantrum against the fact that, oh my. He's not doing his job as well as he'd like to.

Only the temper doesn't show. Doesn't flare, and won't. Not unless Ratter says something flame-worthy.

"How?"

It's a very simple question.

What is Colton going to do? He's made a mess of it so far, sure enough.

Ratter's willing to help, if Colton would just show some sign of having an actual plan.

Colton shrugs slightly.

"I'd have to start by making time for it."

And, really, that's the most solid plan he can get. The coven leader is an icon to rally behind, and someone to address all inter and intra coven concerns with. Aside from those two tasks, there's not much Colton can do.

"Um... There's a room... I haven't gone into it for... For a while. It's got all the complaints in it... I just haven't sat down and gone through them because I can't read in other languages and I don't know how to decided who wins..."

Colton glances up to Ratter, almost pleading with him to know how to speak Manderin. It's obvious, too. The stare just screams, 'You know Chinese, right?'

But mostly it's just pleading that Ratter'll help.

I cannot say that Ratter knows Mandarin, because that would be a lie.

But I can say that he's willing to help, because that's true.

"Let's have a look-see."

That's as close as you'll get to 'c'mon, it isn't so bad, let's make a start on the problem and it'll be gone in no time'.

Or even to 'sure I'll help'.

Because this is Ratter we're talking about, see.