The internet is the biggest shop in the world and it is open after the pubs shut.

I'm sure those facts have combined to interesting/amusing/instructive effect to some of the people who come here.

I don't have any great stories here. I own a few things I wouldn't if the internet had one of those breath activated immobilisers but nothing too awful. But I did order something last night.... I'll wait and see what it is like when it arrives.

Tease!

Not that interesting really.... I think I have bought a DVD in a language I don't understand. :huh:

:lol:

And, thinking about it, I am not sure if it will work in my player. Ruddy Ebay.

Fortunately for my bank balance I don't understand how ebay works. You send someone your money and hope they aren't a complete crook, is that it?

According to my paper all the bidding is rigged on ebay. If somethings not reaching a good price the seller just gets his mates to bid for it or bids for it himself under another name. :(

A bloke called David Thomas, who lives near Doncaster, tried to defraud me with a computer I bought on ebay. Read on and you'll see why I'm entirely happy to name him here.

When I accused him of deliberately trying to defraud me it clearly put the willies up him as I got my money's worth. Eventually.

I still left him negative feedback and was subsequently deluged with queries from other poor fuckers he'd conned. He was operating using a false address but had used his real details to register the domain he was using for email payments. Idiot. I was pleased to pass this information to a guy from Liverpool who described himself as a 'hairy-arsed biker'. Him and mate paid Mr Thomas a visit. He got his money back :lol:

I subsequently found out that he'd got previous convictions for computer fraud.

About a year ago, 2 years after the incident, this charmer turns up on Watchdog - selling 'pedigree' puppies that had been kept in appalling conditions. Most of them died after a few weeks with their new owners.

What a cunt.

PS - mods - please edit away if you think this'll cause problems.

I've bought loads of stuff on ebay whilst drunk. I go into a kind of trance and emerge a couple of hours later with my credit card still in my hand and can't remember a thing. Then a parcel turns up with something absurd like Michael Portillo oven gloves in it and it all comes flashing back to me. I'm a twat with a credit card.

I used to buy stuff off Amazon drunk all the time. You get up the next morning and find your inbox full of emails confirming various orders. It's terrifying.

After a Friends Reunited incident I gave up on using the computer while drunk, though. I do sometimes surf drunk, but I'm careful to only put things into my shopping basket or wish list, never to complete the transaction.

With Amazon you usually have time to cancel stuff.

Glad to say that's one website I've never been tempted by.

I've never had any problems. But I wouldn't buy a car or something like that like what some people do.

But.... how do you stop yourself? I'm sure I have thought, at times, I'd best buy this now, when I'm sober I won't want it.

Yes, best to steer clear.

Please tell us about the Friends Reunited incident!!!

I too would appreciate a sobriety test built into my keyboard to save me money and the shock of the emails sitting in my intray on a Sunday morning; though I have generally got stuff I wanted- (though couldn't really afford).

Not a great anecdote, I’m afraid, but it makes me cringe. I looked up an ex and sent him a rather long, and in the cold light of morning, badly worded and spelt, email apologising for being such a terror when we were going out together.

The thing was, he’d dumped me, but I was like, “I know why you dumped me and don’t blame you and wish you well,” sort of thing. The worst thing is – I don’t know if you’ve ever used the site – but to get people’s emails and stuff, you have to register, so I’d gone through the whole rigmarole, including payment, and still wrote the mail. The next day I was mortified. I've done some terrible things while I've been drunk, but rarely have I done something so dumb that required such preparation. :lol:

Do you have to pay to go on Friends Reunited? Really?

Blimey... :o

My friend bought a bass guitar for a thousand euro on ebay while drunk. He had to collect it at customs and they charged him way too much. There was something wrong with it when he got it. He was told that it could be fixed but it was a specialised job and he would have to drive half way up the country and pay loads more money. He put it in the attic for a while to mull over what he would do. He decided to put it back on ebay after a while but he specified that it needed some work done. Some guy bought it off him for close enough to the thousand. Lucky escape for him.

He never told his girlfriend about it and he now has a self-imposed band on drinking and ordering stuff on the net :blink:

Yes, a fiver it cost me.

This might make you feel better, Worried Man. I've just remembered that two years ago I subscribed to Terrorizer magazine while drunk. Every month, a magazine full of hairy men with their arms folded, staring malevolently at me, reminding me not to go on the internet while drunk. :lol:

I paid a huge amount of money on Ebay for a 'genuine' 1976 Fender P Bass guitar. I drove about 4 hours to pick it up (with a wad of cash) in a motorway service station.

When I got it home it was clear that most of this 'USA bass' was actually made in fucking Japan. My problem, as the listing was unclear, and I took a chance.

I sold it on to some other daft mug in a for a £20 profit!!

What a result!

I once sold a vintage pair of 'gay interest' Adidas running shorts to someone for £40. I don't even think they were drunk.

I've bought a lot of stuff when drunk, and usually sell it on when sober. I try and end my Ebay auctions at about 10pm. Hopefully punters are shit-faced by then.

Thanks a fucking lot Hanley.



Not only did I lose £40 I can't afford, I'm too ashamed to go back to The Pink Rupee! :angry:

:lol:

Otherdave once sold me a rat with white paint splashed on it for £40! :angry:

He told me it was a baby panda. :(

That would put you off...

Your Friends Reunited story has opened another can of worms- drunk emails. Worst when you can't remember what was sent. And then there are drunk text messages....

That's my Achilles' heel I'm afraid. :ohdear: Luckily they're usually just elaborate comedic missives tailored towards the recipient, or else gushing "yer me besh friend" stuff that goes down well anyway. The biggest problem for me is not remembering what I said the following day :unsure:

There's a solution to that you know. Set up your phone so it stores all your sent messages. You can check them the following day and have a good laugh or perhaps weep at what you wrote.

I'm stiil waiting for those original Davey B lithographs to arrive.
I send the tenner in a piece of tinfoil as requested.

I first became introduced to internet shopping in about 1997, coincidentally a time of consolidation 7 chaos for me.. it involved a lot of drinking.
CD Now & Amazon had me as one of their first customers I rapidly made it a rule not to "drink & surf"

I bought a 'buy it now' CD on eBay. The seller then sent me a different CD. I gave him negative feedback. He sent me a very threatening message. I stopped using eBay.

I now only buy from shops with lots of good feedback.
mainly Hong Kong based electronics.
No problems.

The biggest problem for me is not remembering what I said the following day :unsure: [/QUOTE]
This is general problem I have, regardless of internet/mobile phone usage, I'm afraid, even when sober. I'm a twat, you see; I can't help it.

It's scary. :o People could ruin their credit that way.

Take heed.

The Onion had a funny story about this topic a couple years ago:

Man With Complete Mama's Family Video Library Never Going On eBay Drunk Again

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39045

Don't worry your pretty head about it - I know JUST the man to help:

I managed to scam a copy of the Can DVD off a drunken Aberdeen resident on MSN once - she even got it signed by Damp for me when she sobered up.

Well, I ,for one, am *never* buying another Pere Ubu record....

Not a drunken purchase, but a cautionary tale and one that may illustrate the true idiocy of Billybigbananas.....

As some of you may know, I have an interest in aviation - cold war jets being my 'thing'. Over the years, I've collected a few bits of memorabillia, some engine plates, data plaques etc. Yes, I do know what kind of picture of myself I'm painting here...
:rolleyes:

Anyway, back last summer I was idly scanning Ebay (probably looking for that CD version of Levitate that I always get outbid on) & decided to have a cursory lookthrough aircraft parts category. What do I find? An English Electric Lightning nose cone section (the pointy bit from the front for non - experts). Now, heres where I had the sensible bypass and instead of asking myself things like "do I really need this?" & "where am I going to put it?", I thought "I WANT THAT!". As the cone was in Doncaster and I'm in south somerset, I contacted the seller & asked if I bid on it and won, would he be able to keep hold of it for me until I could come up and get it? Yes, no probs came the reply, it's in my Dad's garage in Blyth & he'll keep it as long as you want. Right, we're on.....

I set myself a limit (which fortunatly I didn't have to test) bid and a few days later I was the owner of a piece of British aviation history (or some overpriced scrap, depending on your point of view). Now, as the winning feeling subsides I have to start thinking about practicalities - like telling my wife..... (actually this was fairly painless, she just looked at me with dispair, rolled her eyes and said "it's not going in the house and i'm not cleaning it."). Next problem was how to transport it, it's a fairly hefty item & I wanted to make sure I could get it in the back of the car without too much hassle. So, I contacted the seller again and got him to give me the exact measurements. I then checked this against the space in the back of my motor and whilst it was tight, it was just enough - result! About a month after I had a week's holiday booked from work & it was half term so I asked my eldest daughter if she would like to come as well & see a bit of the north. She said yes so I booked up a couple of cheap Travelodge rooms at stages of the journey there & back - don't have to hurry, bit of sightseeing - make couple of days out of it thought I.

So, the day arrives & we're up at the crack of dawn, in the car & off we go. It's a smooth run and we get to the pick up address for about 11ish. Now - here's where it all starts to go a bit wrong........

My first inkling that things weren't going to plan came as we pulled up on the drive& the seller's Father says to me "where's your van then? it's not going to go in there...". Ok says I, still feeling confident in my logistical excellence, lets get it out & we'll have a look then. He goes into the garage and rolls it out towards the car, whereupon I start to feel VERY uncomfortable. You see, whilst I had measured the space across the back seat of my car (it's a saloon) & found that it would just fit, I had forgotton that I actually had to get it through the car door in the first place.........

Oh feck.


After a couple of attempts it was patently obvious that it just wasn't going to go through the door and my daughter pipes up -

"It doesn't fit, does it Daddy?"

"No Phoebe, it doesn't"

"What are you going to do now then?"

"Erm.........."

Luckily the bloke saw the funny side & invited us in for a cup of tea & whilst sitting there feeling like a prize pillock I formulated a cunning plan. I phoned my wife & expalined the situation (i'm sure I heard her eyes roll over the phone) and asked her to phone the local van hire place in town - this she did and called me back 10 mins later. "No they haven't got a van, but they do have a people carrier available tomorrow". I asked her her to get it booked, thanked the chap for the tea and arranged with him to come back the day after. As we were driving away, I'm sure he was doubled up with laughter.I had a travelodge booked for that night, so Phoebe & I spent the rest of the day checking out the local area, had a little chef & went to bed.

Next day, we're up again & heading back to Somerset. All going well until we get to Birmingham where there's been an accident & I spend 2 hours staring at the guy in fronts' bumper as we crawl through the jam. Get clear of that & finally roll back into Chard at about 3ish. Now, I've got another travelodge room booked tonight in Grantham, so I've got about 2 hours to get the van from the hire place, have some dinner & get back on the road. Go to the hire place & pick up the people carrier - "Your wife thinks you're a bit of a pillock then" chuckles the guy behind the counter who's obviously had the full story from MrsBananas, "yes, yes, I am" I agree sheepishly. I get the Nissan Somethingorother & its a pile of crap - it bounces like a farm cart, the gearbox is at best "impercise" & the wole thing vibrates if you do over 60. Oh well. Go home for dinner and back on the road. Daughter insists she's coming with me.

Back up the M5 (getting really sick of this road now) up to Birmingham & across to Leicster. Getting dark by now & really fed up of driving. Now when we get to Leicster I have to cut across country to get to Grantham, so follow the signs to Melton Mowbray which is about halfway. Phoebe's nodded off, so all I've got for company is some godawful R&B 'choons' radio station on a poor signal.Great. At Melton I manage to take the wrong turning & drive 10 miles in the wrong direcion. Upon realising my mistake, I then have to make the decision to try & cross country it down the B roads or drive all the way back to Melton again. Take the second option (thankfully, or I'd probably have still been driving down farm tracks as the sun came up). Mood really not great now. Realise I've been spent nearly 11 hours driving today. Promise to delete Ebay account as a priority. Finally roll up at the travelodge at about 10:30, put Phoebe to bed & crash out myself.

Wake up, have Olympic Breakfast at Little Chef, then back up the A1 to Blyth. Turn up at the house & bugger me, everyone's come to see the silly sod who's bought the nose cone & couldn't fit it in his car. Mum, Dad, Brother in law, Neighbours - it's like a gauntlet of embarrassment. We did get tea and biscuits again though. Load up the nose cone and get waved off down the road by what feels like the whole street......

Uneventful journey back & arrived home again mid afternoon. Unloaded cone, took the people carrier back & finally settled down with a bottle of beer to reflect on the fact that it probably cost me three times as much to get the bloody thing home as I payed for it in the first place. Phoebe says:

"So what are we doing tomorrow Dad?"

"Anything that doesn't involve driving......................................."


So, what did I learn?

1. When buying big stuff on Ebay, always consider how you're going to get it home.

2. Sometimes I am really, really, really dumb. :ohdear:

Not as dumb as you reckon, really - the figures of a measurement often don't give much idea of the real size of something. And the rest of it had nothing much to do with you (well, the wrong turning: anyone can make a wrong turning).

Do you still have the cone? And do you like having it, or does looking at it remind you of the trouble you had in getting it home?

(Irrelevent: my bro used to live near Blythe - at Scrooby, in a caravan.)

Thanks BBB- that was exactly the sort of story I was hoping for when I started this thread.

I remember that story- that is my nightmare. The more I think about it the more I like the subscribing to Terroriser.

Yes, I've still got the cone, it's pride of place in the back garden! It's a restoration project really, after 40+ years of weather abuse it needs some attention so next summer's plan is to get it back up to scratch. I would post up a photo but don't have photobucket - here's one still attatched to the aircraft (it's the green bit at the very front).





Yes, it does remind me of the hassle I had getting it back, but that doesn't make me feel negative towards it, probably the opposite in fact!