Norm is having an unremarkable sort of day. There's nothing truly interesting about it. He's sitting at his desk, scribbling notes and highlighting things (he does his work by hand, until it's time for the finished copy - he's never really liked computers). He isn't dressed sloppily, nor with particular care either. Just jeans and a warm sweatshirt.
All in all? Unremarkable, possibly to the point of being boring, but he doesn't mind.
Anything beyond unremarkable seems to always be either exceptionally good or extremely bad, so he's content to stay as he is.

Ant knocks!

He is being proactive. He is a proactive, protective elder brother.

Grr?

Norm looks up, glances at his watch...
Which is odd, because he's not actually expecting anyone. Oh well.

He shoves the papers aside, tucks his pen behind his ear, and pads to the door. It defies expectations by not creaking when it's opened.

"Hello...?"

The black-haired, tousle-haired young man standing on his doorstep, hands thrust into the pockets of a black-again peacoat, bears absolutely no resemblance to Sam. They are adopted siblings, after all.

"You Norman?" He asks.

"...Yes," he answers slowly. And you are...?

Usually, strangers who come to the door don't ask for him by his first name only.
Usually, no strangers come to the door at all. It's rather an out-of-the-way place.

"Right. So. Are you a serial killer?"

You have to establish the basics before you move on to the threats.

After all, you don't want to threaten a serial killer!

Norm just stares at him for a moment.

"...No." Again, slowly. "Not since the last time I checked, anyway."

"When was the last time you checked?" Jeremy asked very seriously.

"It's for a survey."

Now he's just being ridiculous.

"Uh-huh."

Norm raises an eyebrow in a very skeptical kind of way.

"Well, you know, generally I check first thing in the morning,... make sure there aren't any fresh graves in the backyard or anything." He crosses his arms. "Who's asking?"

"Your girlfriend's elder brother."

So there.

Now he's just got to hope he didn't have the wrong house.

That would be awkward.

"Oh. I see."
Let's go with less sarcasm, and more making a good impression if at all possible. Norm is not, by nature, the confrontational sort.

"...Is something wrong?"

"Well, you aren't a serial killer.... Soooo... that's a point in your favor." Pause. "Are you by any chance some species that mates and then kills its mate?"

It could happen!

Jeremy's dating one, for instance!

"Uh... no, I think that's spiders." Pause. "And before you ask - I'm not a spider."

Norman nods, indicating the space beyond the doorway, i.e. the inside of the house.

"Care to continue the interrogation inside?" he says wryly. "It's kind of cold out here."

"Will the house in any way explode or fall down?" He asked, giving the house a suspicious look.

He's onto you.

Norm gives him a strange look.
...Okay, he'll play along.
"Oh, it only does that on the thirtieth day in February. You've got nothing to worry about," he says dismissively, and steps aside to let Ant in.

"Awesome."

Jeremy follows him inside docilely, peering around.

"This your house, or are you renting?"

It looked like a nice old place, though a bit on the pricy side for someone that young.

"Renting, sort of."

He shrugs a shoulder.

"Basically, I get to stay here in exchange for lookng after the place,...cleaning things up, mending, whatever needs doing. It's a pretty good arrangement."

"Huh. Interesting."

Very interesting indeed!

Jeremy is a silly person, you know.

"Well, it works."

Another shrug, and he shuts the door.

"Do you do this to all her boyfriends?"

"I've never lived in the same town with one of them."

He considers this.

"...wait, she's had boyfriends before?" He asks sharply.

Sam's previous relationships have been... ahem... on the low-down.

"I don't know. She hasn't mentioned any."

And he hasn't asked.
It's not really a good idea to start something by going over the past.

"Just wondering if this was normal, or if you had any particular reason to ask if I was a serial killer or - whatever else."

"Why not? Valid question. I date one."

...Jeremy, why do you bring these things up in casual conversation?

Norm has a skeptical "Oh-kay," on his lips, but it never makes it out.
No one would date a serial killer.
Well, okay - no normal person would date a -

Yeah, Ant isn't exactly coming off as normal. Uh-oh.

"Okay." And not a skeptical okay, either. "Well,... rest assured that your sister doesn't have your taste when it comes to relationships."

"Well!" He exclaims. "Thank god for that."

Seriously. Thank god.

"She always was the normal one of the family."

And she's an elf.

This explains more than it doesn't, doesn't it?

Norman just barely manages to keep himself from raising an eyebrow.
Sam is not even human (not that that matters if he doesn't think about it too much) but how much farther from normal can you get?

"Good to know," he replies neutrally.
He is not going to say, "I'll consider myself warned."
He isn't.
"I'll-" Still isn't! "-Remember that."

"Oh, do."

It's a splendid idea.

"Oh, and my boyfriend? Mostly reformed."

Mostly a reformed serial killer, that is.

How comforting.

Boyfriend?
He just said 'boyfriend', didn't he?

...Ahem.

"Okay. Good to know." Norm is trying very hard to remain nonchalant, and it's mostly working. "I'll make a point of not getting in his way. Serial killers and I - we don't get along so well."
Gee, and he's only met two or three. Such intolerance.

"He's really sweet," Ant hastens to reassure.

He pauses, frowning slightly, as he reconsiders.

"He's really sweet to... well, me, anyway."

Which is nice.

"But we aren't here to discuss him."

Ant is not quite sure how all his conversations end up about his boyfriend.

It must be the part where he spends most of his time thinking about his boyfriend.

"Right. Of course not."

Norm uncorsses his arms and lets them hang loose at his sides.

"We've affirmed that I'm not a murderer, so far. What else did you want to know?"

"That you will not in any way harm my sister, up to and including breaking her heart." Pause. "Or else."

He makes his best attempt at a threatening glare, but his hair, which takes this opportunity to flop in his eyes, utterly ruins it.

Oh, he is put upon. He also goes crosseyed trying to glare at his own hair.

Norm simply nods.

"Okay," he agrees. "I won't. Promise."

It's difficult for him to feel threatened by anyone shorter than he is, with the notable exception of that freakish Logan kid.
And besides, Ant looks funny cross-eyed.

Pause.

"Good."

Pause.

"Because I'd have to dye everything you owned pink."

With a boyfriend who's a serial killer, you learn to make your threats horrifying but not scary.

"I don't own anything white," Norm points out. "All my clothes are blue, gray, black...I think there's some green,... but anyway. You'd have to bleach them first if you really intended to dye them pink."

Gee, how helpful of him.

"I have bleach," Ant said easily. "Not a problem."

Ant was confident in his own problem-solving skills.

"Right. Well."

Norm smirks.

"I'm not going to give you a reason to go to all that trouble, regardless."
So there.

"Good," he nods, "Very good."

Pause.

"That was really all I came here to say."

Which makes for an awkward end to the conversation, doesn't it?

"Fair enough." Norm tilts his head to one side. "It seems like you came quite a ways just to threaten me, though. I mean, you could've just used the phone. Or e-mailed or something."
Of course, nothing says 'overprotective brother' like the personal touch that visiting the hapless boyfriend adds.

"Threatening emails are so stalker," which he says rather like one might say 'that handbag is so last year'.

"Oh. Well. God forbid you come off as stalkerish."

Norm grins at him and leans against the wall.

"What do you call coming to my home and interrogating me, then?"
(Teasing. Definitely just teasing.)

"Familial duty," he replies solemnly, though the grin belies it.