It’s been two months now since Erik had originally been brought to Royal Pines. Two whole long months. Long indeed. However, it hadn’t been entirely wasteful. Nope. Not at all. It seemed that much ground had been covered during that long month. The child-Erik was coming out less and less as Dr. Lane helped Erik work through some of his problems. Jayme coming to see him every other day helped quite a bit as well. The friendship between Erik and Jayme seems to have grown quite a bit during this time. I really do think Erik would have been lost for good if he didn’t have his friend anymore.

Today Erik is sitting on the bed eagerly waiting for Dr. Lane. Today is supposed to be the day he finds out for sure just how much progress he’s made. Will it be good news? Or will it be bad news? He’s not sure. And he’s anxious to find out. At some point during the past month, Erik finally broke down and shaved his face. He had been closely supervised by Jayme every time he was shaving. For his own good, you know. Anyway, he’s sitting on the bed with his legs over the side, feet touching the floor.

Jordan does indeed come and update him. A halfway point she tells him. While they are dealign with his past, they still have not found a way to deal with the events immediately prior to his arrival here. Since it seems to have been some sort of catalyst, this still gives Jordan many concerns. Jordan is very honest with him.

Though, his progress is marked enough that he's been moved into a normal room and is allowed to wear normal clothes now. Jayme had bought him some, nothing fancy and most of it blue, as Jayme cannot recall ever not seeing Erik wearing something blue.

Erik nods every so often as he listens to Jordan. Halfway is better than where he was. Right? “So what happens now?” he finally asks.

((Oh my god... I am so sorry it’s this short. Dennis started talking to me while I was typing and made my brain lose its train of thought.))

"Well, we still have to sort out and deal with whatever sent you over the edge and brought you here Erik." Jordan says.

He sighs softly and lowers his gaze to his hands folded in his lap. “And if we can’t?” He’s worried about being locked up for good. He’s just not saying so.

"I don't know yet Erik, I can't release you if I think you'd keep hurting yourself, and right now I'm not convinced you won't on your own." Jordan says sadly.

Erik nods. “I understand,” he answered softly. Surprisingly, he really does understand. He’s been slowly understanding quite a bit lately. Only within the past week to be honest. “What do I need to do?”

"For starters, stop beating yourself up, I think we're working towards that, but we are going to have to get through this block you have about your more recent past if you ever hope to be able to move forward." Jordan says.

“I know...” he says softly and fidgets with his fingers. “It’s just... it hurts.”

"I know it must, or it woudn't have driven you to what you did Erik, but not dealing with it won't help." she says.

“What do you want me to do?” he finally asks in a hushed voice after several moments of sitting there silently.

"Can you talk to me about it? Erik, Can you tell me anything?" Jordan asks.

“I made promises that I couldn’t keep,” he says quietly.

"Erik, you do know that sometimes when a promise gets broken it's because of things we can't control?" she says softly. Broken promises make her think of her sister.

He shakes his head slightly. “Not like this. Not promises like I made,” he says. His voice filled with regret.

"Can you tell me, what it was Erik?" She asks, she might understand, she really might, how many broken promises does seh live with, how bad does it hurt everytime she helps a patient have the break through they need, and she can't help the one person she swore she would?

He sighs and shifts himself so that he can recline back on his bed. Now that he’s not in a padded room, he’s got one of those beds that the head of the bed lifts with the push of a button. (No fair! I want one! *ahem*) He already had the head of it upright, so all he had to do was lean back on it.

“I promised to keep someone safe,” he finally said. “I promised to protect her. To always be there for her. To love her.”

"That is a hard promise ot keep, as hard as promising to master destiny." Jordan says sadly, it must be the most commonly broken promise in the world. She doesn't tell him this though. It would offer no comfort.

"What happened then Erik, since I'm sure it isn't that you don't still love her, what happened?"

“I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t keep her safe,” he says sadly. “I couldn’t be there when she needed me the most. I couldn’t be there to get her away from her abusive mother. I couldn’t be there to prevent her mother from stealing her away and hurting her. And I couldn’t be there to protect her from the slime that attacked her not long after that."

It took a lot of effort for Jordan not to swear. If those things were crimes, failings, she was guilty of them herself.....her sibblings likely wouldn't hesitate to point out specific instances of her failings either. She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Erik, but none of us is ever completely safe....." she says softly.

He shakes his head slightly before turning it to look at the opposite side of the room than where she is sitting. “You don’t understand,” he says with a deep sadness in his voice. “She.. She’s... not like us,” he finally says in almost a whisper. "So innocent to the world around her..."

Surprisingly she does, she sees innocence lost every day. Twelve year old rape victims, children who've been molested, an autistc man who witnessed a murder.....just some of her shattered patients, who really is fit to guage one person's innocence as haveing more worth than another........

Enough is enough though, her breakthroughs with Erik are begining to come at the expense of breaking Jordan. "I'll be back tommorrow Erik." she says her voice weighed down with infinite sadness.

He nods slightly and rolls over to face the opposite way entirely. “Okay,” he finally answers in a near whisper. “Get some rest Dr. Lane.”

((eep. the freaky shortness))

The following morning here is Jayme bright and early. He hs with him to to go containers of food. He's been bringing Erik treats for a few weeks now. Today he's wearing a black nylon track suit.

Erik had woken about an hour ago. He’d showered already. He had stubble on his face still since he wasn’t allowed to shave without supervision. He’s wearing a light blue outfit that Jayme had brought him. After his shower, he had gone and laid back down on the bed. Not really much else to do when he’s by himself like this.

He glances over his shoulder as he hears the door to his room open. A smile comes to his face. “Hi Jayme,” he says. Because Erik is no longer in the padded room and because of the situation with Jayme making sure he's a part of what's going on with Erik, Jayme no longer has to check in at the desk when he comes to visit. And, he's allowed to come visit whatever time of day or night. Even during non-visiting hours.

"Hey I brought you some breakfast, waffles, hashbrowns with cheese and veggies, and some creamcheese struedel. Should I go get you some coffee?" he asks.

“You’re spoiling me, my friend. Do you know this?” he says with a chuckle as he moves to sit up and turn towards Jayme. “Coffee would be wonderful. Sugar and cream please. This smells so good. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

"Yes, but I know this place has such a wonderful meal selection for a vegitarian. I'm surprised you haven't starved." Jayme says. "I'll be right back with coffee."

Oh my god. He remembered. Jayme remembered that Erik is a vegetarian. That is just too fucking cool. No. Really. Honest it is. “Oh yeah,” he says and rolls his eyes. “Living on toast and mashed potatoes mostly except for when you bring food. Thanks.” He goes ahead and starts eating while waiting for Jayme to return.

As if Jayme can forget, it's written down in his little note book. Did Erik think it was mere coincidence that Jayme's selections are always meat free?

Ah but remember, it’s only been a little over a week since Erik has been able to really comprehend anything. And, he’s only been here in this room for a couple of days. Less than a week. Damn this food is good. Jayme really is spoiling the man.

Jayme comes back with two cups of coffee, sipping on one himself. "Hiow've things been? How are you feeling?" He asks sitting in the chair near Erik's bed.

“Thanks,” he says as he takes the coffee from his friend. “Dr. Lane was here yesterday,” he tells Jayme. “She says we’re halfway there.”

"That's good, but how do you feel, you need anything, want to do anything?" Jayme asks.

He sighs and shrugs slightly. “I want to get out of here,” he says in a matter of fact voice. “She said I can’t be released from here until she’s absolutely sure that I’m not going to do what I did to end up in here.” How does he feel? “Torn. Confused,” he says. “She wants me to talk about it.” ‘It’ being what landed him in here.

"Can I do anything? Of coarse she can't let you go if you'd still hurt yourself, or if you'd regress again. I know you must be frustrated. " Jayme says. He knows what happened in a vague sense. It was only recently that he'd seen the angel and learned most of what she knew. Porr Erik, still beating himself up for what he can't possibly hope to control. Jayme's heart really does go out to him.

“I don’t know if I can do it though, Jayme,” he says. “I don’t know if I can talk about it. I don’t know if I can talk about her. I just want to forget. Forget it all ever happened.” He sighs and pushes the tray towards the foot of the bed. Yay for things on wheels. He then flops back onto his bed. “I want to forget it all.”

"I know, but it would still be there, you'd never really forget, you'd just be hiding from it. It would still hurt....." He doesn't finish though.

He sighs again because he knows his friend is right. “I sometimes wish..” he begins softly. “That I could go back in time and make it never have happened. The only thing that I wouldn’t change, though, is meeting you. Your friendship means a lot to me Jayme. I hope you know that.”

"Sadly time does not run backwards only forwards, there's a lot all of us would change. Dwelling in the past isn't the purpose, forgeting it isn't either, learning from it, living with it, that's what we all have to do. I'm not trying to be callous, just honest. And, yes I do know, my friendship means a lot to you. Me too." he says.