And so various patrons entered upon the club, approached the dancefloor and were stunned by what they saw.

The dancefloor was all but empty, save but for a single, huge, bearded figure in a fur coat and hat, gyrating, sweating and flailing his arms about in a way that might at one time have been mistaken for dancing.

Over the speakers, the deep voice of Isaac Hayes bellowed, laying down slick soul grooves. His backgroung vocalists repeated and repeated: "Menage a trois! Menage a trois! Menag a trois!"

Anyone who stumbled up to one of the many onlookers might have asked: "What's going on?" To which they might reasonably expect to hear to reply: "HE's been there for almost forty-five minutes. Won't stop dancing. Every time the DJ tries to put on another record he grabs him round the throat and forces him to repeat 'Midnight Loving'. The guy's a lunatic."

And in the centre of the floor, the vampiric, lunatic warlord Ginger Vitus laughed and continued to dance...