hi all, I'm Zina
I just have a small essay in a form of a letter. My writing is not very well.
So, can any of you help me to check out the grammars? This is urgent and important for me, to appy to a American University...
Tks tks tks so much...
And so sorry for bothering some of you...
ZINA



Dear ...,
My name is Le Quynh Lam. I'm writing the letter to
give you some illustions of myself.
I was born in Russia, the place that my mother and
father have met each other since they were very young.
They studied in a Russian University. I completed my
high school education there, too.
Before my birth, my father suddenly passed away and
left my mother the responsibility bringing me up.
When I was twelve years old, my mother had met
another good man, and he had become to be my
godfather. My family was most happy in that days,
especially with the birth of my young brother.
Unfortunately, my godfather died for lung cancer
when my young brother was just 3 years old. Then,
three of us went back to Vietnam.
Because my mother had graduated in Russia, she
strongly understands the advantages of foreign
education systems, especially the American one.
Therefore, she always wanted to find an American
University for me. However, our financial condition
was a bit limitted. That is the reason that I applied
to study in Webster University Thailand (WUT) which is
located in Thailand, one of our neighbor countries.
WUT provides the American education system with
lower prices of tuition, and cheaper prices of
cost-living. It was an amazing campus and I've been
studying there for 2 years. I've won the 60%
scholarship of tuition fee per a year.
Nevertheless, WUT didn't allow student to work (I
mean work outside the studying time). It really was a
disadvantage for me since I really wanted to earn
money in order to assist my mother's financial
difficulties.
Then, I decided to find another university in U.S
which allows students to work. And I've met your
university through the advisory of Duc Anh Co.,LTD.
Talking about my studying case in WUT, Adverting
and Marketing communication is my major. According to
my grade report, you can see that my total GPA is just
2.85. This is not quite a good result. To explain more
fully about some of my bad grades, I could say in this
way that since the last Fall-2002, my family suddenly
had some troubles. I had to go back to VN urgently,
without finishing 3 courses of Fall 1. And I've got D
or F for those courses. Then farther on, I still
haven't dropped 3 other courses of Fall 2, because I
was in VN at that time. Finally, WUT scored that I've
received W for those courses.
On the other hand, the entires are in normal
situation. You can recognize that most of my required
courses have good results. I did complete some of my
project such as producing a video music clip, creating
an advertising campaign, designing a TV commercial ad.
The video music Clip and the TV commercial ad were
kept in WUT as the documentory files for students. I
strongly believe that I have a talent as a good
advertising designer of VN, where this is still an
awkward field, but is starting to develop.
I can speak English and Russian well. People told
me that my accent is quite good. But I have to work
more in writing. I'll try all my best to make it more
perfect. Plus, I'm very interesting in other foreign
languages such as Chinese, Thai...
Finally, I would say that I would be very happy to
be accepted to study in your university. And I also
have a dream to continue the Master Degree there.
I am looking forward to your response.
Your sincerely.

Dear ...,

My name is Le Quynh Lam. I am writing a letter to
give you some illustions(illusions? illustrations? not sure what word ur using here :P) of myself.
I was born in Russia, the place that my mother and
father met each other when they were very young.
They had studied in a Russian University and I also completed my
high school education in Russia.
Before my birth, my father suddenly passed away and
left my mother with the responsibility to bring me up.
When I was twelve years old, my mother had met
another good man and he became my godfather.
My family was most happy in those days,
especially with the birth of my younger brother.
Unfortunately, my godfather died from lung cancer
when my younger brother was just 3 years old. The
three of us then went back to Vietnam.
Because my mother had graduated in Russia, she
strongly understands the advantages of the foreign
education systems, especially the American one.
Therefore, she always wanted to find an American
University for me. However, our financial condition
was a bit limited. That is the reason I applied
to study in Webster University Thailand (WUT) which is
located in Thailand, one of our neighbour countries.
WUT provides the American education system with
lower prices of tuition, and cheaper prices of
cost-living. It is an amazing campus and I have been
studying there for 2 years. I have also won the 60%
scholarship of tuition fee's per year.
Nevertheless, WUT did not allow student to work (refering to work outside the studying time).
It really was a disadvantage for me since I really wanted to earn
money in order to assist my mother's financial
difficulties.
I decided to find another university in U.S
which allows students to work. And I have came up with your
university through the advisory of Duc Anh Co.,LTD.
With regards to my studying in WUT, My major is Adverting
and Marketing communication. According to
my grade report, you can see that my total GPA is just
2.85. This is not a very good result and not quite what i had wanted but my bad grades were partly affected last Fall in 2002 due to family troubles. I had to go back to VN urgently without finishing 3 courses of Fall 1. And I only achieved either a "D" or "F" for those courses. Farther on, I still
have not dropped the other 3 courses from Fall 2, because I
was in VN at that time. It the end, I received "W" for those courses from WUT.
On the other hand, the entires(entries?) are judge like normal
situations. You can recognize that most of my required
courses have good results. I did complete some of my
project such as producing a video music clip, creating
an advertising campaign, designing a TV commercial ad.
The video music Clip and the TV commercial ad were
kept in WUT as documentory files for students. I
strongly believe that I have the talent to be a good
advertising designer of VN even though it is still an
awkward but developing field.
I can speak English and Russian well with people having
commented positively on my ability to speak with the accent.
However, I do have to work
more in improving my writing and will try all my best to make it more
perfect. Also, I am very interesting in other foreign
languages such as Chinese, Thai... etc
Finally, I would say that I would be very happy to
be accepted into studying in your university. I also
have a dream to continue on to the Master's Degree there.

I am looking forward to your response
Thankyou

Your sincerely.


here's my attempt to try help :P
your original letter wasn't too bad, i had only changed/added some words in it..but yeh of course you can change them to how you please. and GOODLUCK!!! :D

wow Gav got like...all of it. it's correct, but there might be some changes that would improve it. i do'nt know if you should listen to me...i'm 15 lol

[ ] = might be unneccesary

Dear ...,

My name is Le Quynh Lam. I am writing a letter to
give you some illustions(illusions? illustrations? not sure what word ur using here ) of myself.
I was born in Russia, the place that my mother and
father met [each other] while they were very young.
They [had] studied in a Russian University and I also completed my
high school education in Russia.
Before my birth, my father suddenly passed away and
left my mother with the responsibility to bring me up.
When I was twelve years old, my mother [had] met
another good man and he became my godfather.
My family was happiest in those days,
especially with the birth of my younger brother.
Unfortunately, my godfather died from lung cancer
when my younger brother was just 3 years old. The
three of us then went back to Vietnam.
Because my mother had graduated in Russia, she
strongly understands the advantages of the foreign
education systems, especially the American one.
Therefore, she always wanted to find an American
University for me. However, our financial condition
was a bit limited. That is the reason I applied
to study in Webster University Thailand (WUT) which is
located in Thailand, one of our neighbour countries.
WUT provided the American education system with
lower prices of tuition, and cheaper prices of
cost-living. It is an amazing campus and I have been
studying there for 2 years. I have also won the 60%
scholarship of tuition fee's per year.
Nevertheless, WUT did not allow student to work (refering to work outside the studying time).
It really was a disadvantage for me since I really wanted to earn
money in order to assist my mother's financial
difficulties.
I decided to find another university in U.S
that allowed students to work. And I have came up with your
university through the advisory of Duc Anh Co.,LTD.
With regards to my studying in WUT, My major is Adverting
and Marketing communication. According to
my grade report, you can see that my total GPA is just
2.85. [This is not a very good result and not quite what i had wanted but] my bad grades were partly affected last Fall in 2002 due to family troubles. I had to go back to VN urgently without finishing 3 courses of Fall 1. And I only achieved either a "D" or "F" for those courses. Farther on, I still
have not dropped the other 3 courses from Fall 2, because I
was in VN at that time. It the end, I received "W" for those courses from WUT.
On the other hand, the entries are judged like normal
situations. You can recognize that most of my required
courses have good results. I completed some of my
projects such as producing a video music clip, creating
an advertising campaign, designing a TV commercial ad.
The video music Clip and the TV commercial ad were
kept in WUT as documentory files for students. I
strongly believe that I have the talent to be a good
advertising designer of VN even though it is still an
awkward but developing field.
I can speak English and Russian well. People have
commented positively on my ability to speak with the accent.
However, I have to improve my writing and will try all my best to make it more
perfect. Also, I am very interesting in other foreign
languages such as Chinese, Thai... etc
Finally, I would say that I would be very happy to
be accepted into studying in your university. I also
have a dream to continue on to the Master's Degree there.

I am looking forward to your response
Thankyou

Your sincerely.

read over it...you might not like some of my changes

haha yeh change those ones quadshock pointed out, i was in a hurry to my next lecture so i went thru it pretty quick...didnt double check :P
goodluck Zina~

dear my good friends,
Very very thank you for those helping me,
they really helped me so much..
Tks tks tks....
(Zina)