Chapter 1

**November 2002**

Mark looked at his bedside clock. 11pm. Who was knocking on his hotel room door now? He pulled himself up off his bed where he had been reading a magazine. He walked slowly to the door but sped up, as the knocking got harder and louder.
“Ok, ok. I’m coming, I’m coming.”
Mark reached the door and took a deep breath as he turned the handle. He wasn’t really in the mood for visitors and hoped he wouldn’t lose his temper if it were one of the other lads goofing around again. They know his moods!
“Bryan? Are you ok?” Mark asked, slightly concerned at finding a very drunk looking Bryan stood at the door, holding on to the doorframe for support.
“Can I talk to you?” Bryan asked, slurring his words slightly.
“Sure. Come in, mate,” Mark replied, slightly worried at Bryan’s appearance. He was swaying, slightly, from side to side. His eyes were red and puffy. Mark thought he had obviously been crying. His hair was a mess and his shirt was half untucked from his trousers.
Mark helped Bryan over to his bed and sat him down.
“What’s wrong, Bryan?” asked Mark as Bryan’s eyes began darting around the room, as if he had suddenly changed his mind and was looking for a way out without offending Mark.
“Nothing. I’m just… well, I just… erm.” Bryan struggled hard to think of another explanation for his bedraggled appearance.
“Did you fall out with Kerry?” Mark asked. He noticed Bryan close his eyes and screw them up. Mark put his arm around Bryan. He hated to see him in this state. Mark pulled Bryan closer and held him tight. ‘Why is he shaking?’ Mark though to himself. “Bryan, you know you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”
“I can’t… you will hate me!” Bryan answered quietly, his voice shaking slightly.
“Bryan. How many times have you shouted, screamed, blamed me for **** that wasn’t my fault and thumped me? Loads! You have played tricks on people and lied about things and I haven’t told anyone before, have I? And have I ever told you, I hate you?”
“No,” Bryan replied feebly. “But this is different. You will definitely hate me and you will have to tell. Everyone will hate me then and Kerry will leave me and the band will have to split and…” Bryan said, almost babbling.
“Whoa! Slow down!” Mark said trying to hide the laughter. He always found it funny when Bryan over reacted like that. “Ok… I don’t think any of that will happen unless you’re about to tell me you murdered Louis.”
“No… it’s worse than that!”
“Worse than murdering Louis?”
“Yes. Well, no. Well… it’s bad, Mark! It’s not funny! I’m not laughing! I’m serious!” Bryan replied becoming slightly agitated.
“Ok. Sorry. So what is it? If it is as bad as you say it is, I think I should know, don’t you? Come on… we are mates, right?” Mark said quietly, hugging Bryan closer to him.
“Ok… but remember, you promised not to get mad or tell… right?!” Bryan reminded Mark, sternly.
“Ok… I promise! Go on… in your own time!”
“Ok,” Bryan said sitting upright and looking Mark in the face. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m gay!” He blurted out! “Well, no I’m not gay... I’m bisexual.”
Bryan sat and waited for a reaction from Mark. He couldn’t hear anything so he opened his eyes. Mark was sat staring right at him as if he was an alien from outer space.
“Say something, Mark!”
“But… why… when… I mean… I don’t know what I mean,” Mark said trying to take it all in. Mark looked at Bryan trying to find some clue that he might be joking. Just a small clue… a smirk or anything. But he couldn’t see one. ‘Is he serious? Since when? Why is he telling me now, after all this time?’ Mark thought to himself.
“I knew it! You hate me don’t you? You think I’m sick or something!” said Bryan, tears filling his eyes.
“****, no. I’m just shocked!” Mark replied, seeing the pain on Bryan’s face.
“Don’t lie to me, Mark. I know you’re lying. You don’t want me to be here, do you? I knew this would happen,” Bryan said as his voice finally broke, tears spilling down his face. He looked at the floor feeling sick and hurt. ‘I shouldn’t have told him. He thinks I’m scum! What do I do now?’ Bryan thought to himself as he tried wiping the tears from his cheeks. But it was no good. As one tear was wiped away, another one would fall in its place.
“Bryan, look at me,” Mark said quietly as he cupped his hand on Bryan’s cheek, turning Bryan’s face to look at him. “I don’t hate you, ok?” Mark pulled Bryan closer again and wrapped his arm around Bryan’s shoulders, hugging him tightly. “I promise… I don’t hate you, I won’t tell anyone and I don’t think you are sick! I just was… am… very surprised, that’s all!”
“Promise?” Bryan asked in between sobs.
“I promise. We’re mates, right?”
“Yeah, mates. Can I stay here tonight, please? I don’t want to go back to my room. Kian is already asleep and will be annoyed if I wake him up. I forgot my key, so I’d have to knock on the door. And Nicky and Shane are both, typically, out on a Shnix night. Even if they weren’t they haven’t got enough room for me and…”
“Bryan!” Mark laughed. “Yes, you can stay here for the night. You wanna bunk on the sofa, the floor or the bed and I will kip on the sofa?”
“Well… can I, kind of sleep on the bed…”
“Sure.”
“I mean… with you? I know it’s not a good idea but… how do I say it without sounding pathetic? I need someone to hold me.” Bryan held his breath waiting for a response.
“Erm… ok. But don’t tell the others because I wouldn’t let Kian bunk in with me last night!”
“Ok, deal.”
“On one condition, though. Well… two.”
“What?” asked Bryan, worrying slightly at what Mark was about to say.
“One… you have to cheer up.”
“Ok… and two?”
“We need to talk about this, seriously, tomorrow. We haven’t got anything on after 12:30.”
“Ok. Can we sleep now?”
“Sure.”
“Mark? Thanks, mate.”
“No problem. What are friends for?” Mark replied, watching Bryan pull his shirt off over his head. Mark watched as Bryan threw the shirt on the floor, ran his hands down his masculine chest and yawned, throwing himself backwards on the bed. Mark almost felt guilty for hoping Bryan would keep his trousers on at least.
“Is it alright if I sleep on this side?” asked Bryan, indicating towards the right hand side of the double bed.
“Sure, I always sleep on the other side anyway,” replied Mark, finally managing to tear his eyes from Bryan’s chest. He noticed how the hairs on Bryan’s chest flicked in all directions around his erect nipples.
Mark became aware of the slight bulge starting to appear in his trousers and was shocked. He quickly jumped up, walked to the other side of the room and turned the light off whilst Bryan clambered, clumsily between the sheets, kicking his jeans onto the floor to join his shirt. Mark silently thanked God that Bryan still had his boxer shorts on as he sat on the corner of the bed. In order to give his own body time to recompose itself, Mark very slowly pulled his clothes off and folded them up neatly, placing them on the chair at the side of the bed. As he slid in between the sheets to join Bryan, Mark flicked his eyes around the room, looking to see if everything was safe, secure and switched off.
Mark, remembering how Bryan had mentioned wanting to be held, cuddled up behind Bryan, nuzzling his face into Bryan’s neck and draping his arm around his waist. He heard a small, contented sigh from Bryan and smiled to himself. Right then, the only thing that mattered to Mark was making sure his friend felt safe and loved. Mark closed his eyes and thought back over the last hour. It was an hour that could change everything.
Bryan’s breathing soon became slow and deep as he fell asleep, tired from all the crying, alcohol and stress he had put himself through that evening. Mark felt something wash over him. He had to protect Bryan. He had to look after him. Only Mark knew why he felt this urge. But he couldn’t tell anyone… not even Bryan.
Mark looked up at the clock again. 12:10pm. Mark sighed and closed his eyes again. He had to get some sleep. Something told him it was going to be a long day, the following day. He tightened his grip on Bryan and pulled himself closer to his warm body. ‘Goodnight, Bryan,’ Mark thought to himself.

Feedback please and maybe I will post the next chapter! :P

WWOOOHHHOOOO (ok im seriously not weird) haha but gr8 chapter :P :rolleyes: im innocent

Innocent? :huh:
Not weird? :unsure:
Sure! :lol: :P

lol i am honestly :lol:

I believe you... thousands wouldn't! :lol:

lol well i have to set a good example so yeah im being honest

Hm... I think there is only you reading this Lianne! :(

No i wanna read the next chappie too...

I will post it either later... or tomorrow at the latest!

lol ok Lynn

Chapter 2

When Mark woke the next morning, he found he was alone in his room. Bryan had gone, already. Mark turned over, rubbing his aching, tired eyes and tried to focus on the clock at the side of the bed. ‘S***!’ he thought as he saw the clock turn 7 o’clock. He dived out of the bed, threw the clothes on that he had been wearing the day before and ran out of the room, sloppily pushing his feet into his trainers.
As he entered Kian’s room he noticed the deadly silence as all eyes turned to him, waiting for an explanation as to why he was late… again.
“I overslept. Sorry.”
“Overslept?” repeated Kian, obviously annoyed at Mark’s lack of ability to arrive anywhere on time. “How the hell did you manage to oversleep? We were all given alarm clocks and the whole point of those things is to wake you up… on time!”
“Kian…” Mark started, as he glanced round the room. All the other lads were there, as were Anto and Paul. Mark noticed how Bryan tried to avoid looking at Mark.
“Don’t ‘Kian’ me! We were supposed to be on our way by now,” said Kian, his voice raising more and more and the tone becoming more threatening by the word. “We have two photo shoots, three interviews and a meeting to attend before half past twelve! We are now, already, an hour behind schedule, no thanks to you. I expect you will want something to eat and chance to sort out how you look before we set off. You wore those clothes yesterday. You haven’t bothered to do bugger all with your hair and your trainers are on the wrong feet, you idiot!”
Mark glanced down at his feet trying to hide the smile creeping across his face. He got this kind of greeting most mornings, from Kian. Every morning was the same. Mark would be late. Kian would get mad. They would fall out and not talk for an hour or so. One of them would apologise. And it would all be forgotten until the next morning when they would go through the whole thing again. Mark dared himself to look at everyone else again. He noticed Shane and Nicky were both rather pissed off too. Anto was shaking his head and Paul just rolled his eyes at the all too familiar scene. Mark looked at Bryan who met his gaze. Both lads smiled, trying their best not to laugh, knowing it would only wind Kian up more.
“Oh, so you think it’s funny, do you?” yelled Kian.
“No, I just…” Mark started then stopped again as he noticed the strange shade of red that took over Kian’s cheeks.
“Fine… you go ahead and laugh! Ruin it all for us… again! It’s always you! We can always count on Mark to f*** things up for us, can’t we? Now, you can forget about eating and you can sod off thinking you can smarten yourself up! We need to go… NOW… and it’s your fault you look like a dogs dinner! Cope with it! Lets go before things get even worse… or Mark decides he needs the toilet!” Kian yelled to everyone.
Mark quietly turned to leave the room. He could feel everyone’s eyes burning into the back of him. He felt so small just then. ‘I’m not the only one who is late. And I don’t do it every flaming day! You’re just up your own arse because you think you are the ‘leader’, Kian,’ Mark thought to himself. He just wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
Bryan felt awful for poor Mark. He had been the one who turned his alarm clock off in the first place. He pulled himself up, onto his feet and slowly followed the quiet line of men down the corridor to the lift. Bryan looked up at everyone. ‘Do they know? Maybe Mark will tell them… I have just got him into big trouble. He might tell them as payback. He must know it was me that turned his alarm clock off. There wasn’t anyone else there. Or maybe he will use it against me and get me to do things for him. Oh come on, Bryan, you tosser! This is Mark you’re talking about. He isn’t like that! Idiot!’ Bryan thought to himself. He looked at Nicky and Shane. They were in the middle of one of their usual, private conversations. They isolate people quite a lot by doing that, and then get annoyed, angry and upset if you tell them. They think they are being accused of being two-faced or something. Bryan then turned his attention to Anto. He was busy checking his watch and talking to Paul about something or other. They were always talking, those two. Even when they weren’t supposed to be, they were always deep in conversation. Paul was listening to Anto with interest, yet staring at his new shoes. They were already dirty. He only bought them a few days ago. Bryan then turned to look at Kian. He looked angry. Glaring at Mark as though he was the cause of World War I and II. His hands were buried deep in his jacket pocket, obviously clenched into fists, as Kian tried to hold his temper. His face was still flushed from the anger that he had shown back in his hotel room.
Bryan’s eyes then made their way to Mark who was stood looking back at him. Their eyes locked and Bryan noticed the way Mark was leaning against the wall. Although Mark was looking straight into Bryan’s eyes, his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Mark was deep in thought and the way he wrinkled his nose as he held the stare made Bryan panic again. Bryan felt he had been starting at Mark for hours… but it must have only been a few seconds. Mark then snapped out of it, remembering to change his trainers over as they were still on the wrong feet.
The lift doors opened and Bryan soon snapped out of his trance, too. He blushed as he hurried passed Mark into the lift. ‘What was Mark thinking about? Oh, God. What if he is really going to do it? What if he tells everyone to get me back? That’s it! I have to talk to him… and soon,’ Bryan thought to himself. ‘Oh, Jesus. Did he see me blush? Why the **** did I blush? What is he going to think of me now?’ Bryan’s head was racing. All the thoughts running through his mind were scaring him. He knew Mark wasn’t the type to tell secrets. He would trust Mark with his life. But a small part of him was worried that Mark might slip up in a bout of anger.
Bryan’s body jumped as the lift began to move down. Bryan looked around and noticed how close Mark was stood to him. Lots of ‘what if…’ questions running through his mind. Bryan suddenly began to feel claustrophobic and his heart began to beat faster and harder. So hard, Bryan then began to panic, wondering if anyone could hear it. He was almost convinced it was trying to break free of its prison cell in Bryan’s rib cage. Bryan closed his eyes and wished the lift would stop and let him out. He felt sick and began regretting all the times he and Kian had teased Nicky about his phobia of lifts. At that point Bryan opened his eyes and noticed Nicky looking right at him. Bryan felt even more scared. What was Nicky looking at? As Bryan’s heart began to beat the rhythm of a drill in his chest, he stepped back and gripped the handrail as if it was his only life support. His knuckles turned white, he was holding on that tight. He began to sweat.
“Bryan?” asked Nicky, noticing the worried look on his face. “Bry? Are you ok?”
“I… I think I’m going to be sick!” By this time Bryan’s head was swimming and he couldn’t see straight. He felt a strong arm around his shoulders and felt Nicky was comforting him. Nicky knew how Bryan was feeling and although this would have been the perfect time for payback, he also knew that he might just make things worse. The atmosphere was already strained that morning. Bryan felt the arm around his shoulders tighten and he was pulled closer to the arms owner.
“You’ll be alright, Bryan. Just try to relax,” a soft, deep voice whispered in his ear. Bryan jumped. The voice had scared him. Not because it was unexpected, but because it was Mark… not Nicky.
Bryan tried to look at Mark but his head refused to do as it was told. Bryan felt as though he was about to collapse. The sweat ran down his face almost as fast as the water from the shower he had taken earlier. His head was felt heavy and Bryan found it a struggle trying to lift it. His chest began to tighten and what was once his stomach now became a washing machine, turning over inside him, faster and faster. Bryan didn’t feel he could stand much more. He felt Mark’s arm tighten even more. Bryan gave up trying to hold on then. He let out a loud sob, let go of the handrail and leaned on Mark, gripping Mark’s waist and burying his face into Mark’s jugular and allowed the tears to fall.
Everyone including Mark was surprised and quite worried. Bryan was fine a few minutes ago at the breakfast table in Kian’s room. Mark wrapped both arms round Bryan and held him as tight as possible.
“Bryan? What’s wrong? Are you ill?” asked Shane feeling a little helpless at the other side of the still moving lift.
Bryan shook his head but couldn’t speak as sobs took over his whole body. Shane turned to look at Anto who looked a little thoughtful.
“Bryan, are you ill?” Anto asked, not really caring that Shane had just asked the same question.
Bryan tried to calm himself down enough to answer, but he couldn’t. The tears just kept falling and the sobs just kept coming. He managed to shake his head, but very weakly.
“Well, do you think you can calm down and work until lunch time?” asked Anto, realising this could mess the day up even more.
Bryan shook his head again and continued to cry. Mark took a breath and looked at Anto and Kian who both looked angry and concerned.
“I think he should go back upstairs to his room and sleep. He didn’t seem too well last night,” Mark said, hoping he hadn’t annoyed Bryan yet knowing it was angering Kian even more. “I also think I should go with him. He doesn’t seem like he is going to let go anytime soon.”
“Fine! Go on then! Today is buggered up enough! Suppose we best just phone everyone and tell them we can’t do any of it!” shouted Kian and pressing the button to go back up to their floor of the hotel. “First Mark being late, and now Bryan suffering an extra bad hangover, more than likely!”
Mark kept his mouth shut and just squeezed Bryan, whose tears increased at hearing Kian’s anger. Mark looked at Bryan and felt slightly worried. ‘What made him suddenly burst like that?’ he wondered to himself. Bryan’s sweat was starting to dampen Mark’s t-shirt and his tears were making another wet patch on Mark’s shoulder. Bryan was still shaking. Almost as if he was scared by something… but what?

:D cool chapter Lynn :D

Chapter 3

Mark sat Bryan on his bed as they entered his hotel room. Bryan released Mark from his grip crawled up the bed and laid down on his back on Mark’s bed. His tears had stopped falling but sobs still shook his body now and again. Bryan took no notice of what Mark was doing.
Mark locked the hotel room door, and walked to the other side of the room. He drew the curtains until the room was dark, despite it only being 8am. He walked over to the little kettle on the side and flicked the switch. Mark kept turning and looking at Bryan who lay on the bed, not moving or making a sound except for the occasional sob that would escape. Bryan’s eyes were fixated on the ceiling. Mark thought he had an idea what was wrong, but wasn’t quite sure why. Mark noticed that he had left the bathroom light on, so he walked across the room, flicked the light switch and closed the door behind him as he turned to walk back to the now boiling kettle. Mark picked up the two small mugs from the side and made himself and Bryan a cuppa. As he picked up the drinks to take over to Bryan, he decided to lighten the mood a little, and stopped by the radio, setting it to play whatever CD was inside, and turned the volume down so that it was still audible without being annoying or too loud.
“Here you go, Bry,” Mark said, setting the drinks down on the bedside cabinet. Bryan didn’t respond. “How are you feeling, now?” Mark asked, hoping Bryan would open up a little more than he had done the might before. Instead, Bryan just rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the ceiling. “What happened? You were fine one minute…” Mark started.
“Are you just going to sit there and quiz me all day?” snapped Bryan, his eyes still fixated on the ceiling.
“Well how else am I supposed to help you?”
“I don’t need help! I need Kerry, Molly, a beer and a fag!”
“Well, I can help with the ‘fag’ but I’m not getting you a beer and I can’t do anything about the other two,” replied Mark, reaching for his cigarette packet. He took one out and tossed it at Bryan and then took one out for himself. He lit the cigarette and threw the lighter to Bryan, who lit his cigarette up before flopping back and staring at the ceiling once again.
“Amazing things, those! There is one in ever room you go into,” Mark said, sarcastically.
“Huh?”
“Ceilings… they are everywhere! Can’t believe you’ve never seen one before.”
“Oh, go on! Take the piss!” snapped Bryan, turning and looking at Mark.
“I will! You better start talking or else…”
“Or else, what, Mark? Or else you will tell everyone my secret? Forget that… I was just pissed,” said Bryan, hoping Mark would back off.
“Yeah… sure! You always cry like a baby, shake like a leaf and tell your best friend you’re bisexual when you’re pissed, don’t you?” Mark replied, again the sarcasm apparent in his voice.
“I didn’t tell my best friend! I told you!” barked Bryan. He soon regretted his words when he saw Mark’s face fall, the sparkle in his eye dimmed.
“Whatever,” Mark choked, hoping Bryan wouldn’t notice how hurt he was. “The fact is you told me something that could ruin your marriage and the band. And no… that’s not what I would do! I told you I wouldn’t tell anyone and I meant it. What I was going to say, was ‘or else we would have to get back to Kian and Anto, and get back to work’. The only reason Kian isn’t here bollocking us both right now, is because Anto is hoping I can find out what’s wrong.”
“Just tell him I’m not well!”
“That won’t work… especially seeing as you told both Anto and Shane that you weren’t ill. But I’m not prepared to help, unless you are prepared to talk.”
“Fine… I will tell them myself. I can make them believe me,” Bryan said, angrily. He pushed himself up on the bed.
“Go on then. Go find them, tell them how you kept me up last night, when it obviously wasn’t needed. Then how you stayed here for the night and you were the one who made me late this morning. Not only that, but you then got ill in the lift despite telling Anto and Shane for no reason, that you weren’t ill at all. That made us cancel the day and wind Kian up even more than needed, just to turn round and say you were actually ill and now feel much better! Yeah. You’re right. You might just convince them. While you’re at it… why not tell them you’re joke about being into men as well as women and see how much they laugh! Maybe I just lost my sense of humour on the last flight which is why I wasn’t rolling on the floor with laughter,” Mark said, trying to make sense of it all in his own head.
Mark looked up at Bryan, wondering why there was no reaction. Bryan was just staring right back at him, tears in his eyes. He wanted to tell Mark everything but he couldn’t. Mark would definitely hate him then.
“Well… tell them…” Bryan said, trying hard to think of a reason for his behaviour. He looked at the quilt on Mark’s bed, hoping for inspiration, only to realise he was only trying to hide his tears from Mark. “Mark, it’s almost Christmas, I miss Kerry and Molly and the baby is due soon and I’ve got nothing done at all and I’m tired. Can’t you say I was overworked or something?”
“Why me? Why can’t you tell them? I’m not your slave, Bry.”
“Because you’re my mate, right?”
“Am I? That wasn’t the impression I got a few minutes ago,” Mark replied, busying himself with stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. He passed the ashtray to Bryan who stubbed out his cigarette too and placed it back on the cabinet.
“Please, Mark?” Bryan asked quietly. “Just say I had a panic attack… that’s no lie is it?”
“Fine, but then you tell me exactly what’s going on, right!”
“Mark, I…”
“I wasn’t asking you, I was telling you! I go tell Anto and Kian you are overworked and had a panic attack, and you tell me exactly what’s going on. If you don’t agree, you can go face Kian yourself… I know which I’d prefer!”
“Fine then! Sod off! I told you… I was drunk and didn’t mean it. End of!”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!”
“Yeah, right… and you know everything that goes off inside my head, do you?”
“I bloody wish I did… it might explain a lot.”
“You are pretty spiteful, Mark. You know that?”
“I’m spiteful? That’s rich coming from you!”
“What’s that mean? Oh, on second thoughts don’t answer that! You will just go and pin the blame on me again!”
“Blame for what? I’m not blaming you for anything… I just wanna know what the fuck is going on!”
“You want to know? You really want to know?”
“Yes, please!”
“Fine… what’s going on is you are getting on my nerves! I was drunk, I talked bollocks. Nothing new there! You don’t need to know anything else.”
”Yes, I do… and you will tell me. I know you will. You always do.”
“Fuck you, Mark. Why are you so interested in whether I’m bi or not, anyway? You interested? Is that it? Are you hoping you can get some?”
“Fuck off, Bryan. You’re talking shit and you know it,” Mark said, getting off the bed.
“Oh, I am, am I? You can’t keep a girl for two minutes, and I’ve seen the way you look at Shane. You’re gagging for it! And you’re hoping that if I am into men, too, that you might be able to get your leg over! Well, you can fuck off! I wont go shagging anyone other than Kerry… especially a frigging, pathetic, bloke like you! You’re nothing and you’re hopeless.”
“Fuck off, Bryan!” Mark yelled, the hurt on his face was too obvious to hide and Mark knew it. “Get out! I am sick of trying to help people, just to get shit thrown in my face! I know what you told me and I know you meant every word of it, and until you decide to respect me a little and face up to it, you can fuck off and find someone else to give a shit… cause I’ve had enough!”
Bryan just stared at Mark. He was gobsmacked. Tears were now falling down Mark’s cheeks and the diamond sparkle that usually lit his eyes was gone. Bryan had hurt him.
“Mark, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it… any of it. I’m sorry,” Bryan said, apologetically. Bryan stood up off the bed and walked over to Mark who backed away with every step Bryan took. “I didn’t mean it, Mark,” Bryan said, his own voice cracking. He hadn’t meant to hurt Mark. Now Mark wouldn’t even look at him.
“I want you to leave… now!” Mark shouted, pointing towards the door, however staring at the floor.
Bryan opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came. He wanted to hug Mark and tell him how sorry he was, but he knew that Mark would most likely thump him. Bryan’s head began to race again. He felt himself go dizzy and his heart fell into his feet. He looked at Mark once more, hoping to see some sign of forgiveness, but all he saw was Mark turn and head back towards the bed. Bryan left the room, closing the door behind him and pulling the handle until he heard the latch click into place.
Mark looked up at the door. Bryan was gone. Almost immediately, Mark began sobbing. ‘Why do people always do that to me?’ he thought. He was thinking about what Bryan had said. What had Bryan meant ‘the way you look at Shane’? He didn’t look at Shane as anything more than a great friend, and a brother. Mark tried in vain to stop the tears falling. He wasn’t ‘nothing’. He meant a lot to people… didn’t he?
Mark laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. He just needed a rest. His head hurt. Bryan was supposed to be a friend… why was he shutting him out?
After a while Mark felt himself drifting off to sleep. He closed his eyes and let the darkness close in.

Can I just say... It's hard to send this kind of fan fic when you blank a lot (most) of the swearing out.
I understand why you do it but it does also ruin the effect of the adult/slash stories a little.

lmao great chapter Lynn

try filling in the '****' bits again n see if it works. it should do

I have reposted the chapter... thanks for turning the filters off and sorry to be a pain about it!

(Typical me, huh? Lol!)

lol no probs

Chapter 4

Bryan sat on his bed and went over the last hour in his head. ‘How could I have been so nasty?’ he asked himself. Bryan really wanted to tell Mark he was sorry. He wanted to tell him what was bugging him, but he couldn’t. He was too afraid of how Mark would react. Finally it came to him… he would write Mark a letter and leave it for him to find.
Bryan searched his suitcase for a pen and a pad of paper. ‘Where are they. I know I brought them’, he thought. Bryan always carried a pen and pad of paper incase he got inspired to write a song. “Ah-ha!” he said to the empty room as he pulled them out from under his jacket.
Bryan made himself a cuppa and laid on his bed. "Just write what you think!" he told himself.
Bryan closed his eyes and thought hard. He hated writing letters. He never knew how to word things or even how to spell in some cases. He looked around the room whilst thinking about it.
Bryan was close to giving up, when he eventually closed his eyes. There… it hit him! He knew exactly what to say and how. He picked up his pen and began to write everything down before he forgot or chickened out.
When he had finished, he folded it up and scribbled Mark’s name on the side. ‘Now for the hardest part,’ Bryan thought to himself. ‘I have to get it to Mark.’ Bryan sat up on his bed and reached for his cup. He took a mouthful off his drink.
“Bleugh!” he said as he spat it out again. It was cold. He had gotten so into writing his letter he had forgotten about his cuppa and now it was stone cold.
“Oh, well. Nothing else to do but give this to Mark,” he said to his reflection as he stood up off his bed, facing the mirror.
Bryan left his room, not closing the door behind him. He just needed to leave the letter and go and the last thing he needed was to be fiddling with hotel room keys. As he reached Mark’s door he could hear nothing. No one was around. No one was in Mark’s room. ‘Good,’ he thought and he crouched down onto the floor. Bryan slipped the letter under Mark’s door, knocking it as far as he could. He then took a breath and knocked on Mark’s door. Before he had chance to think about it, he turned on his heel and almost ran back into his room, slamming the door closed behind him.

Mark heard a knock at the door and woke up. ‘Who is that?’ he wondered. He sat up on his bed.
“Who is it?” he shouted, hoping it wasn’t Kian. He couldn’t face another argument.
When no one replied, Mark stood up and walked over to the door. He took a step to grab the handle when he stood on it. ‘What the…?’ Mark picked it up, and opened the door. He stepped outside his door and looked up and down the corridor. He couldn’t see or hear anyone so he turned around and went back into his room. Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the bed again, looking at the letter wondering who it was from and what it was about. He sat on his bed and unfolded the note. He had to concentrate hard for a minute. His vision was a little blurry after he had been crying earlier. It only took a minute for his eyes to adjust and he could make out the words. He took a deep breath and began reading it.

Dear Mark.
I am writing to say sorry. I was out of order earlier and I shouldn’t have said what I did. I know you probably hate me, but don’t please. Don’t throw the letter away, I need you to read it.

About last night… you’re right… I wasn’t just drunk. I meant what I said. But you can’t tell anyone. I don’t want anyone knowing. The last thing I need is for people thinking I am a puff. I’m not… I mean, I’ve got Kerry and Molly, right? And no gay bloke has a wife and kid. And there is gonna be another baby soon, too. You’re the first person I have told about this. No one knows at all.

You wanted to know what was bugging me, right? Well, I’m going to tell you but if you hate me, please don’t tell me. Just ignore me… I’ll know.

I only just realised I was bi recently. I love Kerry and all but… there is someone else I love too, and this time it’s a bloke. I first met him about 4 years ago. I liked him straight away, but if anyone knew that I liked men, they’d all hate me, and I wouldn’t have made the band. He isn’t gay or anything. He doesn’t even know I like him as anything more than a mate. But he will soon. I kept trying to ignore how I felt about him, and telling myself that I was wrong and I should be into women only. I tried really hard. But every time I spoke to him, I couldn’t help but stare at him. He is gorgeous and his eyes are always shining. I loved spending time with him because I got him all to myself. But I hated it too and I would have a go at him because I thought that if he or anyone found out, that I would be kicked out of the band and I wouldn’t have no mates or anything. So I thought that if I was nasty to him, he would push me away and no one would suspect. But then I’d feel bad, cause he didn’t deserve it.
I met Kerry and I did love her… I mean, I do… I am still into women and I fell in love with her and thought I could forget about him, and so I tried sneaking around. I tried telling everyone about Kerry. I was in love… and I still love her. Everything was real… but now I don’t love her as much as I used to and I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop looking at him, talking to him. Sometimes I even wrestle with him just to be able to touch him without anyone thinking anything of it. I love Kez, and I adore Molly and I can’t wait for the baby to be born… but I feel different and I can’t keep it up. I can’t keep lying to her… to myself. It won’t do anyone any good.
Even now, when I… you know…masturbate… it’s not Kerry I think of. I try to… but it always ends up being him.

I know that people will hate me, especially him, when they find out. And I know that I will probably have to quit the band and all. I don’t want to, Mark. I’m so scared that I will have no one. I need my friends… I need you. Please, don’t hate me. I don’t know what I will do if you hate me.

I am so sorry for everything I said… I didn’t mean any of it. I don’t think of you like that. You’re not pathetic and you are not nothing and I know you aren’t gay and don’t fancy Shane. I’m just a spiteful shit… I know I am.

Just so this all makes sense…the person I am in love with… it’s you, Mark!

I’ve been in love with you since I saw you at the audition, that day.

You’ve probably stopped reading now, so…
Sorry and please, please, please don’t hate me… if you want to forget all about this or whatever, fine. I understand.

Bryan.

Mark dried his eyes again and re-read the last few lines. ‘The person I am in love with… it’s you, Mark!’ Mark stared at the letter in disbelief. ‘Oh my God!’ he thought to himself.
Mark dived off his bed and ran out of the door, the letter still in his hand. Before he had chance to realise just what he was doing, he knocked on Bryan’s door.
Within a minute Bryan opened the door. He turned as white as a sheet when he saw Mark stood there, holding the letter. Without saying a word, Mark walked passed him into his room. Bryan closed the door and turned around. There was an awkward silence for a minute, until Mark spoke.
“Yes, or no! Is this for real?” he asked, still slightly confused and shocked.
“Yes… but…” Bryan started.
“Stop!” Mark demanded, holding his hand in the air.
Bryan stopped and looked to the floor. He couldn’t believe this. He was about to lose one of his best friends, and it was going to hurt. Bryan closed his eyes and listened to Mark, yet tried not listen at the same time. He didn’t want to hear what Mark thought of him. He didn’t want to be hurt anymore. ‘Why couldn’t he have just left me alone like I asked?’ Bryan asked himself. ‘Why does he want to hurt me? Is it because I was so awful to him?’ Bryan’s head was racing and his ears had closed off.
Suddenly those words hit Bryan.
“What?” he asked in disbelief. Bryan opened his eyes, lifted his head and noticed how much closer Mark was stood to him.
“I said,” Mark responded, placing one arm around Bryan’s shoulders, “I feel the same way.”
Before Bryan had chance to take it all in Mark pulled Bryan closer and their lips met. Bryan closed his eyes again and let Mark’s lips take control. He loved the way Mark’s lips felt like silk on his own, his tongue, slipping along Bryan’s lips, asking for permission to enter. Bryan parted his lips and let Mark slide his tongue inside. Their tongues met, both fighting for control of the situation. Bryan could not believe his luck. He wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist and pulled the smaller man closer to him.
After what seemed like ages, they pulled apart and looked at each other. Their eyes met.
“But, Mark… what about the other lads and Kerry and…”
“Never mind about anything now. Right now we just need to sort out what we are going to do in regards to ‘do we take this further or not’ before anything else,” Mark replied.
“Yeah! Of course we do! Please?” Bryan said excitedly, pulling Mark in for another kiss.
“Ok, ok,” Mark laughed as their lips met again.

omg AAAHHHHHHHH GET IN THER MARK N BRYAN LMAO omg this is gr8 u need to add more :P

Lol!
I tried to get across that Kerry was shocked/annoyed/angry/upset and everything but I'm not too sure if it came across right! It just sounds like she is saying 'fine, whatever, good luck' and that seems too false.
I wanted it to appear as if she was only saying it from shock, but it's hard to put that into words!

Does that make sense?

Oh well... next chapter soon! ;)

lol i get wot ya mean but i cant wait fer nxt chapter :P

Chapter 5

***December 2002***

“Kerry, sit down,” Bryan told her. He and Kerry sat on the sofa and Mark sat in the chair opposite them, nearest to the door.
“What’s going on?” Kerry asked, slightly worried at why Mark and Bryan had asked to talk to her and why it seemed so serious.
“Well, I have something I need to tell you… but I want you to understand that I love you, alright?” replied Bryan, starting to feel slightly nervous.
“Kerry, we need you to listen all the way through, before you react. I know it will be hard but we really need you to understand,” Mark told Kerry. Kerry just nodded.
“Ok. Kerry, you know I love you but there is something you need to know,” Bryan started. He took her hands in his and looked her in her eyes. She could see how scared he was so she just let him carry on. “I’m bisexual and I’ve known for about six months.”
“Really?” asked Kerry, then remembering what Mark had said, she sat back and kept quiet.
“Yeah, and I’ve kind of fallen for someone… a bloke!” Bryan replied. He was scared of Kerry’s reaction.
“Oh? Anyone I know?” she asked, eyeing Mark up. She had a pretty good idea it was him as he was here and prompting Bryan. She figured the reason he was sat close to the door was so he could run if she went for him.
“Well… yes, but the thing is… I am in love with him…” Bryan started, but soon stopped when he noticed the surprised look on Kerry’s face.
“And you love him more than me, right?” she finished for him.
Bryan just stared at her. Her brown eyes still sparkled and she was still smiling. She didn’t seem bothered.
“Yeah. Kerry, I’m serious… I’m not joking now.”
“I know, love. But to be totally honest, I’m not all that surprised. Don’t shout at me but the reason I kept saying ‘no’ when you were asking me out that night, was because I thought I was just going to help you hide the fact you were gay. So, tell me… who is he and what is going to happen?”
“Erm…” Bryan was shocked. “Mark!”
“Thought so!”
“You did?” Mark asked, surprised. Bryan and Kerry both looked at him. “Sorry, but why did you think it was me?”
“Because you are here and helping him do this, and… I don’t really know. Just a feeling I got. What’s happening then?”
“You almost seem like you don’t mind,” Bryan said, feeling a little hurt.
“Of course I bloody mind, Bryan. But what can I do about it? Stay with a man who is in love with someone else and rather be with him? I can’t keep you here if you don’t want it. And if you want to keep going with me then I need to know it is because you love me and not because you think it’s best for the girls or because it’s what people expect. I am upset, don’t get me wrong, but not like I thought I would be. And don’t think that means I won’t react later, when it’s had time to sink in. I love you, but… well, I suppose if I really love you I should just support you. We have two kiddies. We aren’t just going to disappear from each other right?”
“Right.”
“So… once more. What is going to happen? What are you wanting?”
“I want to be with Mark.”
“Ok, then. Well… Mark… I didn’t even know you were… you know… that way out.”
“Haha. Well, I’m not gay. I’m bisexual too. I’ve known since I was fifteen and only my parents, brothers and Rowan know about it.”
“So, how long have you two been going on?”
“Going on?” Bryan asked a little confused.
“Yeah… together. How long have you been together?”
“We’re not actually together yet. Bryan only told me how he felt two weeks ago, and I told him I felt the same. We haven’t really done or said anything that would make us a ‘couple’,” Mark replied.
“So… I’m a little confused and, if I’m honest, amused, by all this. You will have to excuse me asking questions.”
“Amused? Thanks,” Bryan laughed.
“Sorry but how many blokes will turn around and tell their wives they are leaving them for a bloke, and she is alright with it? Not bloody many, I can tell you that!”
“What were you going to ask?” Mark asked laughing.
“Erm… who told who about it first? I mean… did you tell Bryan or did he tell you or what?”
“Well, to cut a long story short,” Bryan began, looking at Mark. “I got drunk and went to Mark. And I told him that I was bi, and he was alright with it, and the day after, we fell out and I told him I had lied because I didn’t want him asking and questions because I thought that if I told him I was in love with him, he might just hit me or something and I didn’t want that, so…”
“Bryan,” Mark interrupted him, causing Bryan to look at him, slightly annoyed. “Two things. One you need to take a breath and two, you’re babbling!”
“Oh? Oh! Sorry,” Bryan laughed and made a point of taking a deep breath. “So, Mark kicked me out of his hotel room and I felt bad. I wrote him a letter telling him everything… about how I felt, and still do, about you. I also told him about this bloke I was in love with and at the end of the letter, I told him it was him. He came to see me and told me he felt the same and that was it really. Wouldn’t you say, Mark?” Bryan asked, finally relaxing. He felt better now that it was all out in the open with Kerry and she hadn’t killed him.
“Oh,” was all Kerry could manage. She looked at Bryan, then at Mark and back at Bryan again, opening her mouth to try and ask a question but closed it again when she realised no sound escaped her lips.
“Wow!” exclaimed Bryan. “I don’t think I have ever seen you do such a great goldfish impression.”
“Sorry, I just… I want to ask another question but to be honest… I can’t think of one. And I should be able to. I know… what happens with, or to, the girls? I mean, what about who will have them?” asked Kerry, suddenly panicking, hoping Bryan wouldn’t try to take them from her.
“Well, I think the best thing is they stay with you, and I have them while I am at home, or days off whatever. I mean, with the band and all, it will be hard for me to cope with two small babies. Plus they need their mother, right? I think that is fair and we will reassess the situation once Westlife finishes,” Bryan answered.
“You have thought about it hard, haven’t you?” Kerry replied, somewhat surprised at Bryan’s response.
“Well, it is best and sensible! I can’t travel with them and you needn’t be without them. You’re a great mum and they will be better off with you until Westlife finishes and we have a more permanent situation and we can look at weekends and stuff.”
“Ok, so let me get this straight… mind the pun,” Kerry started, taking a breath and trying to work it all out in her head! “Bryan, you are leaving me for Mark and I will keep the kids for definite until the band finishes and then we look at it again. Is that right?”
“Almost… what I meant is, you keep the girls all the time but the thing we sort out better after the band is when and how often I see them and have them at… wherever I am living at the time!”
“Oh, right! Wow! And I still don’t feel angry… just a little… well… strange!”
“Strange?” Mark questioned.
“I keep forgetting you are there,” Kerry laughed. “Yeah, strange. I can’t think of another word. I am sad but I’m not at the same time. I’m annoyed but not angry. I love Bryan but I’m not devastated and kind of expected this long before now. I don’t hate you and I know I should! I should be going mad and killing the pair of you… but I can’t and to be honest… I am happy and find it a little funny. It’s the kind of thing you see in films… but not actually experience!”
“Well to be honest, I am still half expecting you to suddenly jump at me with a knife or a shotgun or summat,” Bryan said, his voice shaking slightly with nerves.
“Me too… I’m the bad guy here… nicking off with her husband!” Mark laughed!
“Well, if that’s what you want…” Kerry replied, looking at Bryan very seriously!
“No!” Mark and Bryan both exclaimed at the same time.
“I’m joking! And you made my baby jump,” laughed Kerry, stroking her tummy as her baby kicked her a couple of times, indicating that the noise of Bryan and Mark’s voices were too loud. “Want to laugh at something? I am about to go make us all a cuppa now!” Kerry laughed again. Suddenly her face changed and she looked very serious again. “Hm… where did I put the bread knife?” she asked herself. Turning to see Bryan’s face Kerry couldn’t help but burst into fits of giggles.
“That’s not funny, Kez,” Bryan said, moving from the sofa to the chair and sitting on the chair arm next to Mark. “Tell her she ain’t funny, Mark!”
“You aren’t funny, Kerry,” Mark said half heartedly, causing Bryan to roll his eyes while Kerry just laughed and made her way to the kitchen.
“So? Does this make it official, then? You and me, I mean,” Bryan asked Mark, stroking his cheek lightly with his thumb.
“What do you think?” Mark replied pulling Bryan onto his lap and kissing him gently.
“I think that’s a maybe,” Bryan laughed when they broke.
“Well then this is a ‘yes’,” Mark laughed pulling Bryan closer again and kissing him once more, but with more passion.

It's great!
I like those argument - scenes you've written. They're really cool and fast.
Like the way you describe Mark aswell.
Oh, and by the way, I really love seeing Kian so angry :o ...and uh, so dominant :D :lol: .

Chapt. 5 is a little confusing, but well it's a confusing situation, isn't it :lol: .

Chapter 6

Taking their seats at the table the lads prepared themselves for the worst press conference since they started. They all looked round the room at the reporters and photographers from every newspaper and magazine they could think of and more. Each person was there to get the same rumour cleared (an hopefully admitted) that they were to split up.
The meeting was called to start and everyone took their places and hands were raised immediately.
“Hi guys. We all want to know first and foremost, is it true that you are splitting up?” asked one reported determined to get to the point straight away.
“No, absolutely not!” replied Nicky. “I don’t know about anyone else but I am getting bored of the ‘splitting up’ rumours.”
“Yeah, I am,” replied Bryan.
“So, the Greatest Hits tour won’t be your last?” the reporter asked.
“No!” said Shane, “we can definitely say that we are categorically not splitting up.”
“Lads, over here!” called another reporter from the back of the room. “Can you tell us what the future holds for Westlife?”
“Lots more tours and albums, definitely,” Nicky said without hesitation.
“We can only get better from here and we will only split when the fans don’t want us, or when we stop making good music,” Kian said feeling rather confident that they would change the subject now.
“Ok, a few personal questions now,” one reporter said, rising from her seat. “Shane, is it true that you and Gillian are expecting a baby?”
“No. Where’s that some from? I haven’t heard that one yet,” he laughed. “Gimme a chance… I’m still a baby myself!”
“He isn’t wrong there,” Nicky piped up causing a small wave of laughter from the press. Shane just responded by poking his tongue out at Nicky.
“Nicky, is it true that you and Georgina are engaged?” the reporter continued.
“Nope!”
“Is that all you have to say?” the young girl asked.
“Yep! We aren’t engaged… what more can I say?”
“Fair enough. Bryan, is it true that you and Kerry have split?”
Bryan took a deep breath and looked around at the other lads. They all knew this was the time to make their big announcement. The press were going to love this.
“Yes, it is unfortunately,” Bryan eventually replied. “But we are still friends and we are still close. We can’t be anything but, I mean, we are expecting our second child.”
“Is it possible to know why you have split?” she asked.
“Well…” Bryan started. Photographers were taking as many photos as possible and all reporters were talking quietly amongst themselves, for a minute. “I will only answer that when I have everyone’s attention, because otherwise you will only hear half a comment and print nothing but bullshit for tomorrow.”
Bryan paused as a small shushing sound rippled through the room and everyone fell silent in order to hear what they all felt was going to be breaking news.
“Go on, Bryan,” the young reporter urged him, desperate to know the news.
“Well, I have fallen for someone else and…”
“Who is she?” someone called out from the middle of the room. Yet again silence filled the room.
“Well… she is actually a he,” Bryan replied, suddenly feeling blinded by the flashes from the cameras in the room.
“You’re gay?” asked a young man from the side of the room, near the door.
“I’m bisexual and so is he,” Bryan answered honestly, his head starting to pound suddenly. The silence in the room was almost deafening him. The flashes of the cameras were making him feel dizzy. He was having flashes of tomorrow’s headlines in front of his eyes. Bryan closed his eyes trying to remember what he had rehearsed a thousand times that morning.
“So who is he, then?” someone called out, their voice booming through Bryan’s head.
“Bryan opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. The other lads looked at him. They felt sorry for him. They just knew it was going to be a lot harder on Bryan than anyone else, as he had responsibilities and a reputation to uphold. As a band they could survive this… they knew they could. The lads looked at Bryan who was still having trouble answering the question, so the other lads decided to take over.
“It’s me!” Mark said, watching the faces of all reporters and photographers change from shock to disbelief. Suddenly the cameras began the flashing again and the whirring of the films made Bryan’s ears ring. Mark realised suddenly what was going on… he had just come out to the press, and by tomorrow the whole world would know his secret. He turned to look at Bryan who was looking at him. Bryan shot him a ‘thank you’ look.
“So is this a joke or what?” one reporter piped up.
“Do we look like it’s a joke?” replied Mark seriously.

The lads quickly went over when the two guys found out about their sexualities and who knew and finished the meeting.
“Well, that was ok,” Shane croaked as they entered the tour bus.
“Ok? Ok?” Kian almost yelled. “How the hell was it ok? The future of the band could suffer because of this.”
“That’s right, Kian,” Mark said sarcastically.
“What?” asked Kian, surprised at the apparent sarcasm in his voice.
“The band… we will all suffer, won’t we?” Mark replied turning to face Kian. Kian was staring back at him with a blank face.
The bus began to move and the lads all sat on the sofas not knowing what to say. Kian was obviously angry yet confused with Mark, and Mark was obviously angry at Kian.
“What are you talking about, Mark? Don’t tell me you think we will get more fans through this? If anything we are more likely to lose them.”
”Not with the slash fan fics they all write,” cheered Bryan, trying to lighten the mood. However only Shane and Nicky laughed. Bryan decided to keep quiet and go make everyone a cuppa.
“Kian! Fuck the band!” Mark shouted, shocking everyone into silence. “I don’t give a shit about how many fans we gain or lose. What about me? What about Bryan? How do you think this will reflect on us? Bryan- happily married and soon to become a dad for the second time. He is the straightest one of us all! Then in comes me and snatches Bryan from this perfect family! I am a bad guy here. I will get this shit for breaking up a family and taking the dad away from two young babies. And Bryan will be in the shit for going along with it, leaving a heavily pregnant wife and his daughter.
We as people stand to lose a hell of a lot more than us as a frigging band! We will get the backlash… not you! We will be the ones slated in the papers. We will be the ones pointed at in the street and whispered about for ages. We will be the ones getting the funny looks and spiteful comments… not you!
We are a band and we are supposed to be ‘famous’ for making good music… not because of how we look or who we date. If fans choose to back off and stop supporting us just because Bryan and me are together, then they were never real fans to begin with.”
“Here you go,” interrupted Bryan, placing five hot cuppas on the little coffee table in the middle. He busied himself with handing the right drink to the right person to hide the tears in his eyes. Everything Mark had said was true… and it scared Bryan a hell of a lot. Once he had given the drinks out, he sat down next to Mark and held his drink in his hands looking down at his feet.
“You alright?” Mark asked, draping his arm round Bryan’s shoulders.
“Yeah,” Bryan lied, faking a smile, “I’m fine.”
“Liar,” Mark replied, smiling. “You see, Kian? You know, you really come across as selfish sometimes. I would have thought that Bryan and me are more important than how a few stupid fans might look at us or react… but it seems I was wrong.”
“Mark, I…” Kian started. He felt bad. He wanted to apologise but the look on Mark’s face told him it wouldn’t be accepted. Mark was right.... why hadn’t Kian thought of that? Suddenly he pulled himself up off the sofa, crossed the small space in between him and Mark and he wrapped his arms around Mark. “I’m sorry. You’re one of my best friends, ok? I didn’t mean it.”
”It’s ok,” Mark replied. “Just think in future, ok? Some things are more important than the band.”
”I know… I’m sorry. Friends?” Kian asked, offering his hand to Mark.
“Friends,” Mark replied taking Kian’s hand and shaking it.
“What about me?” asked Bryan pretending to sound hurt.
“What about you?” Kian replied, laughing.
“Don’t I get a hug or an apology or nowt?”
“No,” Kian laughed again, pulling Bryan into his arms.
Kian released Bryan and sat back down. Bryan sank back into the sofa and pulled Mark’s arm around his shoulders again. He was surprised, yet happy about how the lads, their families, friends and Kerry had all taken the news in general. The fans, well that was a different matter. They would just have to wait for their reaction… and the waiting was the worst part. Once they got that out of the way, the rest would be a doddle. Bryan felt Mark pull him closer, and he leaned into the hug. He wanted this more than anything… and nothing anyone said or did was going to take it from him. He was happy now!

***TBC... only 2 more chapters left now! Lol!***

Chapter 7

Bryan turned around from looking out of the window and looked across the room at Mark. In two weeks they had found a house, bought it and moved in quickly. Many people thought it was too quick but Mark and Bryan knew it felt right and they also needed some shelter from the media frenzy and still confused and shocked fans.
It was a week until Christmas and Westlife were taking a few weeks out. Shane had been struck down with Glandular Fever, Nicky had had a small attack of Tonsillitis and Mark had just got rid of a small cold. There was too much work to do and with just Bryan and Kian to do it all, everyone decided it was best to take a few weeks off, chill out, get better again and then go back to work in the new year. Hopefully by then lots of the media would have calmed down, the fans would have had a bit of time to get used to the situation of Mark and Bryan’s relationship, everyone had managed to celebrate Christmas and New Year and suffer the hangover’s too, before they had to think about the early morning starts and constant travelling.
Bryan skimmed his eyes across the large living room of his new house and thought about how cluttered it all was yet how this was a new start… for everyone. Most of their things were still in boxes and bags, and their suite was nothing more than a tattered, old, blue, three seater sofa and a large, green leather armchair that they had managed to pick up quick and cheap in a second hand furniture shop! They had a small portable television stood on a little coffee table in the corner nearest the window Bryan was stood by, and an old portable radio stood on top of that. Upstairs in the bedroom, Bryan thought about the new bed they had just had delivered that day… the only new and nice looking piece of furniture in the five bedroomed mansion. Five bedrooms. It seemed a little too big for just two of them, yet they had to remember that Bryan would soon have two children, so that was already three rooms in use. They would use one as a guest room and the other to put their PC… when it finally arrived. They would use it as a little study, or a place to write any songs that came to them.
Bryan turned his head to look at the large fireplace and mantle shelf. He wanted to sand it down, varnish it and stand a couple of pictures on the top and maybe a candle on either end. At the side of the fireplace, the opposite side of the room to where Bryan was stood, he looked at the Christmas tree. It was the only decorated thing in the house, well, if you didn’t include Mark that was. Bryan laughed quietly to himself as he watched his new boyfriend reach up and put the finishing touch to the Christmas tree… the star at the top. Mark didn’t look too unlike the tree, with tinsel draped around his shoulders and over his arms, a couple of spare baubles hanging on his fingers and a candy cane hanging out of his mouth… strangely enough, the wrapper was halfway down the sweet. Mark had spent two days telling Bryan not to pinch one as they were for the tree, and there he was now, with one in his mouth.
“Cheeky sod,” Bryan called over to him.
“Huh?” asked Mark turning and looking at Bryan, moving the sweet from his lips and dropping the last of the Christmas tree decorations back into the box he got them from.
“You. Telling me I can’t have one of those, then eating one yourself,” Bryan said, pouting a little.
“Aw, poor baby. Anyway… I’ve just spent the last hour putting the tree up and decorating it. What did you do to deserve one?” Mark laughed walking towards Bryan, but stopping once he was in front of the lit fire.
“I was… observing. Yeah that’s it. Making sure you were doing it right. That’s tiring you know… I need to remember exactly where everything goes and look to see if you put it in the right places.”
“Bollocks,” Mark laughed. “You were daydreaming again, weren’t you?”
“No. And what do you mean ‘again’, huh?” asked Bryan pretending to be confused. He took a few steps in Mark’s direction and stopped just a couple of feet from him.
“You know exactly what I mean,” Mark replied biting the end off the candy cane and offering it to Bryan for a bit.
“Thanks,” Bryan said taking it and placing it between his lips. “I wasn’t daydreaming. I was thinking. There is a difference, you know.”
“Oh, ok,” Mark said, rolling his eyes and sitting down on the floor in front of the warm fire. “What were you thinking about then?” he asked raising his hand to pull Bryan down next to him.
“Everything. Look. I mean it was only just over a month ago that we were still ‘just mates’. And now, I still half expect you to twat me one when I call you ‘love’ or ‘baby’ and stuff. Plus it feels strange too… I’m so used to calling you ‘mate’ that I have to think first,” Bryan replied, taking a seat on the floor opposite Mark and handing the candy cane back to him. “I actually jumped the other night. I am so used to being in bed with Kerry or by myself that when I felt you move, it scared me to death.”
Mark laughed. “Thanks,” he replied pretending to be hurt.
“Well, come on… I was half asleep.”
“Well, I have to admit, I’ve been a little spooked by it all. Did you notice I jumped this morning when you came up behind me and put your arms around me while I was making the cuppas?” Mark laughed as he remembered how his heart had needed a little reminder on how to beat properly.
“Jump? You flaming put a hole in the ceiling,” Bryan giggled.
“Well? I’m not used to it am I? I mean, you have had Kerry for God knows how long. If anyone did that to me at home, I’d have smacked them. Unless it was my mum… then I’d have just told her off for making me jump. It still feels a little weird when you call me something else, and not ‘mate’ too.”
“What? Even when I call you a ‘stupid get’ or whatever?”
“No… you know what I mean,” Mark replied moving closer towards Bryan. Soon they were sat opposite each other, Mark’s legs around Bryan’s waist, Bryan’s legs parted enough for Mark to sit in between them, and their crotches just an inch apart. “Anyway… when did you last call me a ‘stupid get’, then?” Mark asked with mock anger.
“Erm… you were saying?” Bryan laughed trying to avoid looking into Mark’s eyes.
“Hm. Anyway… I bet it’s real obvious how I feel about all this, isn’t it?” Mark said, looking a little worried and slightly embarrassed.
“How do you mean?”
“I mean… how do I say this?” Mark thought aloud. “Well… I mean we have been a couple for about a month now and, well…”
“Go on,” Bryan encouraged him, noticing a pale red take over Mark’s face.
“Well, we haven’t, you know, slept together yet. We don’t do much more than this. Hug, and kiss sometimes.”
“But, I thought you weren’t ready to yet.”
“I’m not. I mean… yeah, I am, but…” Mark took a deep breath, knowing he should just say it. Bryan wouldn’t laugh… would he? “Well, I mean… I’ve never been with a bloke before so I’m a bit… inexperienced.”
“Hey… so am I, remember. Anyway… I bet it’s just like sleeping with a lass in a way. I mean it should all just happen naturally, right?”
“Yeah, I suppose. Does it bother you?”
“What? That we haven’t ‘done it’ yet?”
“Yeah.”
“No, not really. Whenever you’re ready.”
Mark threw the rest of the candy cane into the bin.
“Hey… I might have wanted that!” Bryan said, playfully thumping Mark on his arm.
“Well, go get it then.”
”Nah… I think I’ll leave it,” Bryan replied looking away from the bin and back at Mark.
Mark laughed and shook his head. “Anyway, you haven’t complimented me on my excellent decorating skills,” Mark said pointing towards the tree.
Bryan grinned and moved away from Mark, crawling towards the bottom of the tree. He sat at the bottom and looked at it. “Not bad… but I could have done better,” he joked.
“Fine! You can do it next year, then. We’ll see who’s best,” Mark laughed crawling towards Bryan and kneeling in front of him.
“I’m joking. It’s good,” Bryan replied seriously, turning and looking Mark in his eyes. Bryan loved Mark’s eyes. They always sparkled and smiled.
Mark felt Bryan staring at him and blushed slightly. Without a second thought, he leaned forwards closing his eyes and brushing his lips lightly against Bryan’s. Bryan closed his eyes and felt Mark’s lips against his own. Bryan pressed his lips against Mark’s. After a few seconds, Bryan slightly parted his lips, allowing his tongue to slip past and run along Mark’s. Straightaway Mark opened his mouth, giving Bryan entry. Bryan’s tongue slipped against Mark’s as they began to explore each other’s mouths, massaging each other’s tongues. Mark deepened the kiss, pulling Bryan closer to him.
Bryan slipped his arm around Mark’s waist and pulled him as close as possible, his other hand reaching up and stroking Mark’s cheek. The kiss was deep and passionate, yet slow and gentle at the same time.
After a few minutes, they parted. Bryan opened his eyes and looked at Mark. Mark looked straight back at him.
“I love you, Mark,” Bryan said, his left arm still around Mark’s waist, while his right hand stroked down Mark’s arm and taking hold of his hand.
“I love you too, Bryan.”
Bryan leant forward and placed a kiss on Mark’s cheek. Then he kissed the other cheek and began to trail kisses along Mark’s jaw line and down his neck. Mark moaned and gripped Bryan’s hand tightly.
“Bryan, I’m ready,” Mark said. Bryan stopped and looked into Mark’s eyes. “Please, Bry? I’m ready.”
Bryan simply kissed Mark’s lips gently and smiled.

**Last chapter to be posted tomorrow!**

Great!

Go on then, I'm getting frustrated :lol: .

Comon LYNNE! it's the ay after tomorrow now! lol...

OMG LYNN U HAVE SO GOT TO ADD MORE LOL

Chapter 8

Bryan pulled Mark’s t-shirt off and threw it aside. Mark leaned forward, kissing Bryan. His hands fumbled with Bryan’s shirt, slowly unbuttoning it. After a minute, Mark pushed the now open shirt over Bryan’s broad shoulders and down his arms until it eventually fell to the floor. Bryan pulled away from Mark, breaking their kiss. He moved the shirt, throwing it aside on top of Mark’s t-shirt. He sat down, hooking his legs around Mark’s waist and pulling Mark closer. He leaned towards Mark, placing his right hand on Mark’s back. Bryan moved forward and kissed Mark on his chest, allowing the hairs to tickle his nose and lips. Bryan soon began trailing kisses down his chest and soon found Mark’s erect right nipple. Bryan lightly kissed round it before catching it carefully between his teeth and running his tongue over it. Mark moaned. Bryan soon began kissing across Mark’s chest again and reached his other nipple. After running his tongue over it and feeling it erect at the touch, Bryan caught it with his teeth again and began to suck on it gently. Mark moaned again and ran his fingers through Bryan’s hair. Bryan continued to suck and nip Mark’s nipple for a minute or two before breaking away and looking at Mark. Mark smiled, urging Bryan to carry on.
Bryan leaned forward, kissing Mark passionately, their tongues battling for control. Bryan slipped his hands down Mark’s chest and began to pull at his trousers, unbuckling his belt and pulling the press stud fastening open as fast as he could.
Mark’s hands slipped down to Bryan’s jeans and began to unfasten them, pulling the button off in the process. Mark unzipped the jeans and pulled them open slipping his hand inside, finding Bryan’s hard member, still restrained by his boxer shorts. Bryan lifted his hips, allowing Mark to slide the jeans off. Mark took the chance and threw them away to join their already discarded clothes. Bryan broke their kiss and lay down under the Christmas tree whilst Mark slid out of his trousers and boxer shorts, throwing them aside and looking down on Bryan. He leaned down, kissing Bryan’s chest, catching his nipples as he went. Bryan moaned and lifted his hips again, pressing his erection against Mark. Mark took hold of Bryan’s hips and gently pushed him back down, and continued to kiss and lick his chest. After a minute he reached the top of Bryan’s boxer shorts. He hooked his fingers in the top and pulled them off in one swift movement. Mark took a minute to take in Bryan’s size. They had seen each other naked many times in the past, but this was different. Mark began to kiss Bryan’s thighs, nipping the skin lightly with his teeth.
“Oh, Mark,” Bryan moaned. Mark seemed to pay no attention as he moved to kiss Bryan’s other thigh. After a minute of teasing, Mark came back to Bryan’s cock. He wrapped his hand round the stiff member. Urged on by Bryan’s continuous moans, Mark rubbed his thumb over the tip, spreading the precum that glistened. Moving his eyes up to look at Bryan, he began to stroke Bryan’s cock, gently at first, then speeding up. Faster he pumped Bryan’s cock loving the sound of his moaning. After only a minute, he stopped and let go of Bryan, who groaned and opened his eyes in disappointment. But not for long. Mark leant forwards, and licked down Bryan’s shaft and back up again. Mark ran his tongue down the length of Bryan’s cock and back up again, before taking the head into his mouth. Bryan gasped as he felt Mark’s tongue swirling around the head. Mark then closed his eyes and swallowed Bryan’s full length. Bryan bucked at the sudden rush of pleasure. Mark sucked and began to bob up and down slowly on the cock, quickly becoming used to the feel of something so big and hard in his mouth. The taste was unusual, but not bad.
Bryan reached down, taking hold of Mark’s hair and gripping as if he depended on it. Mark continued to move his mouth up and down the cock, licking and sucking hard. Bryan soon felt his orgasm building up, deep inside. He arched his back slightly, screwed his eyes tight shut, and opened his mouth. Within seconds he felt waves rushing over him as his orgasm took hold. Mark sucked harder, swallowing every last bit of the warm juice shooting from Bryan’s cock. After he was certain that Bryan had finished he gently let his cock slide from between his lips.
He quickly moved back up to Bryan who welcomed him with a hungry kiss. Mark pushed his tongue into Bryan’s mouth, letting him taste himself. Bryan felt himself going wild inside as Mark’s tongue spread the last of Bryan’s cum over his own tongue and his hard cock pressed against Bryan’s stomach.
Bryan, noticing that Mark was still hard, reached his hand down and took hold of Mark’s cock and began to pump it gently. Mark groaned into Bryan’s mouth, encouraging him to move his hand faster along the erection. Mark deepened the kiss, sucking Bryan’s tongue as Bryan continued to pump Mark’s tool, faster and faster. Before long, Mark’s cock began to throb in Bryan’s hand as he shot his cum all over Bryan’s chest. Mark broke this kiss, and groaned, Bryan’s name escaping his lips. Bryan watched as Mark’s load emptied out onto his chest, and Mark lay back down on top of him, panting. Bryan scooped a little bit of Mark’s juice onto his finger and popped it into his mouth. Mark watched him and as soon as Bryan moved his finger Mark moved fast to cover his mouth with his own. Bryan was now allowing Mark to taste himself, while he grabbed Mark’s ass. Bryan very quickly moved, turning Mark onto his back and lying on top of him. He used his hands to spread Mark’s legs apart and settled in between them. After a minute of kissing, Bryan broke away from Mark and watched as Mark lay his head back on the floor and tried to regain a regular breathing pattern.
Mark closed his eyes and moaned with pleasure as he felt Bryan slowly moving his fingers around his balls. Bryan took hold of them in his hand and gently massaged them. Noticing Mark’s eyes were still closed he put two fingers in his mouth and sucked on them, making sure they were nice and wet. Bryan was already erect again and planning his next move. He continued to massage Mark’s balls and saw Mark’s new erection as he ran a finger round, finding Mark’s hole. He felt Mark clench his ass cheeks together in shock as Bryan began to circle Mark’s hole.
“Mmmmm,” Mark moaned.
Hearing Mark’s pleasure, Bryan decided to try and take it further. Gently he pushed his first finger into Mark, feeling how tight he was. Mark gasped in shock, but he liked this new feeling. Bryan pushed harder until his finger was in Mark’s ass as far as it would go. He slowly withdrew it, stopping before his finger fell out, and pushed it back in again. Mark moaned deep in his throat. Bryan began to speed up a little, loosening Mark a bit more. After a minute he pushed his second finger into the hole and carried on pushing his fingers in as far as possible and pulling them halfway out again. As he listened to Mark’s groans he entered another finger and pushed it in until he could get them in no further. He continued to finger Mark’s ass for a minute.
“Bryan, please,” Mark moaned. “Please.”
Bryan didn’t need to be asked again. He took his fingers out of Mark’s hole and knelt between Mark’s legs. Bryan took hold of Mark’s hips and lifted him up. He pressed his cock at the entrance. He looked up at Mark who nodded, and prepared himself for the pain that he knew would follow. Bryan carefully pushed himself against Mark. He closed his eyes and pushed himself a bit harder and felt himself slowly enter Mark. Mark closed his eyes tight and bit his lip to stop himself from shouting. The pain was a bit more than he had expected.
Bryan pushed slowly until he was fully inside Mark. He threw his head back and moaned slightly at the feeling of Mark surrounding him. He opened his eyes and saw the pained look on Mark’s face. “Want me to stop?” he asked, worried he was hurting him too much.
“No, Bryan please…” Mark replied, the pain easing slightly. “Please, do it.”
Bryan pulled himself halfway out slowly, before gently pushing himself in again. He repeated his actions again, slowly and carefully. After a minute, he decided to try a bit more and withdrew slightly more than before. Mark groaned and reached down, taking one of Bryan’s hands in his, intertwining their fingers.
Bryan began thrusting fully, but slowly. He felt Mark squeeze his hand and continued his pattern. He leaned forward whilst thrusting carefully into Mark’s ass. His lips met Mark’s and they kissed slowly, to match the pattern of Bryan’s thrusting. Bryan eventually let go of Mark’s waist with is other hand and reached down to take hold of Mark’s cock. He wrapped his fingers around and began to pump Mark again. Soon they were in a slow, gentle routine. Bryan was thrusting his cock into Mark’s ass, whilst pumping Mark’s cock at the same time. Whilst that was going on their tongues were gently massaging and exploring each other’s mouths again, slowly, passionately. Mark’s moans were constantly encouraging Bryan who secretly wondered how he was doing… simply because this was the first time for them both to feel sexually pleased by another man. Mark kept a firm grip on Bryan’s hand and gave a little squeeze now and again to reassure Bryan he was enjoying it.
After what seemed like ages, Mark used his free hand to pull Bryan closer to him, indicating that he was getting very close. Bryan began to thrust a little harder, and pump Mark’s member a little faster. Within a minute, Mark’s body shook with pleasure as he came. Bryan was so exited by Mark’s response that he too came, both men moaning loud, calling each other’s names. Mark loved the feeling of Bryan filling him up. Bryan allowed himself to finish spurting his load before pulling out of Mark and gently flopping down on top of him.
They lay there panting, exhausted, but happy. Bryan laid his head on Mark’s chest and listened to the beating of Mark’s heart, hearing how fast it was beating. He lay there enjoying the sound of Mark’s heart and didn’t move until it had regained it’s regular beating pattern.
Bryan looked up at Mark, who was looking down at Bryan, while stroking his hair.
“I can’t believe I waited so long to realise my feelings. I’m such an idiot. I should have told you straight away… and, God, what Kerry must think of me,” Bryan thought out aloud.
“Don’t worry about it. Just as long as you are happy now. That’s all that matters.”
“I am happy now. Very happy. I should have got with you a long time ago. Although, if I had, I wouldn’t have Molly. Oh bugger it. I made a mistake, so fucking what. Won’t do it again will I?” Bryan laughed. “I love you, Mark. I always have, and I always will. It was always you I loved.”
“I love you, too,” Mark replied, pulling Bryan towards him for a long, passionate kiss.

The End.

Sorry I didn't post it yesterday... my computer crashed and I had to attend a funeral.

OMFG LOL BRILL FIC I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT :lol: I WONDER WOT BRY OR MARK WOULD THINK IF THEY READ IT HAHA I CAN JUST IMAGINE.
I THINK U SHOULD WRITE ANOTHER 1 YA KNOW :rolleyes:

yayyyyy woohoooo lol cant wait to read it.
i think it should involve shane... or a shnicky 1 :P

Well I personally get bored of ShNicky and ShIan, but I won't rule it out in the future!

I prefer to focus on Mark/Bryan :P

lol yeah i would like a Bryan/Shane 1 tho :P

Hehe yeah please hun if you dont mind n if you've got the time :D