Hey this is my first fluff so any critiques/comments are welcome! and also, could you guys help me figure out a better name for my army because the one that i have right now seems a little dull.


Nagarha was born on a stormy night in the city of Elthrai Har, the City of Doom. Lord Khael, Nagarha's father, was the lord of Elthrai Har. The city is located on the edge of the sea, near the Viper Mountains. The city is very prosperous, thanks to the loot brought in by the Lord Khael’s numerous corsair ships. Nagarha never knew his mother due to the fact that she died while giving birth. Although, Lord khael had made a lot of enemies across the whole of Nagaroth, he was well respected because of his skill with the blade. But several assassinations attempts had taken place along the years of his lordship, even though he was respected by all of the other druchii. Even Malekith had a lot of respect for Lord Khael, and vice-versa.
When Khain was 100 years old, he joined the army of the Witch King. Because Khain was of nobility, he was made lordling of a unit of spearmen. Khain had been trained, extensively, by his father, with every kind of sword and ballistic weapon available since the age of 25.
About a month later, the High Elves, led by Eltharion, decided to invade Nagaroth to try and put a stop to all the raids on Ulthuan, so Khain was sent to prove his worth to his superiors that he could lead his unit to victory. While in battle against the accursed Asur, Khain killed an enemy noble. Khain then decided that he wanted to be an assassin. Khain went to the guild to begin his training. The guild looked old, but strong. It had withstood everything that the forces of nature, and magic. It had withstood the many armies that had come and gone throughout the centuries. Khain was issued a challenge by the toughest assassin currently alive. It was a long battle, but Khain finally prevailed when he spilled the guts of his opponent on the radiant marble floor of the temple.
Khain was accepted as one of the assassins, and trained in the art of stealth and cover by some of the most experienced assassins ever to live, including shadowblade. But Khain never forgot the training he had received from his father, and so he could use any weapon he could find, from the smallest urathain, to the mighty draich.
It had been a year since Khain had started his training, and this was the first night in many months, that he had no training. Khain went to the nearest city, which was about 10 miles away. When he arrived, Khain headed straight for the tavern. He ordered the strongest ale available. After about half an hour of drinking, khain saw his superior from back when he was a lordling. Khain stayed hidden, for some reason unknown to him, and listened in on the conversation that went on between one of the barmen and his superior. Khain’s superior was boasting about how he had hired a mercenary assassin to assassinate Lord Khael. Khain felt rage well up inside of him. Khain pulled out his trusty urathain and emptied the whole clip into his superior’s thick skull.
When he realized what he had done, Khain fled from the city. He fled toward Karond Kar, where he hopped someone would help him there. When Khain arrived at Karond Kar, he was swiftly arrested and locked away in the dungeons until his sentencing. That night, Khain heard a commotion inside of the dungeon. He didn’t have to ponder long, as he saw five of his dark rider friends come up the stairway and swiftly killed the remaining guards. They quickly freed Khain, and headed back the way that they had come. On their way down, Khain saw that one of his friends had fallen. He felt anger well up inside of him.
When Khain and his friends reached the ground, the dark riders mounted their dark steeds, and offered Khain the dark steed of his dead companion. He named his dark steed shadow. The little troop fled and headed toward Elthrai Har. They made their way to the castle discreetly. When the six companions arrived at the castle, Khain headed straight for the armoury, since his old armor had been stolen. He chose some heavy armour, a great weapon, his Urathain, and a couple of clips. He put his sword, in a sheath, behind his back, his crossbow hung by his side, and his extra bolt magazines hung from a belt across his torso. He also took about 1000 gold coins.
Meanwhile, Khain’s dark rider companions had gone into the city and had secretly recruited some warriors that were still loyal to Khain. They secured a ship, which was stocked full of provisions. The dark riders left the warriors on the ship, and went back to get Khain.
So now that he had his stuff, Khain and his dark rider companions headed for the dock, being careful that they were not seen. There they boarded a beautiful vessel made of the finest wood, with gold signs written all over the hull of the ship. It was in perfect condition, no dust on the deck, no splintered wood, nothing. Khain knew that this had been his father’s ship.
Khain inspected his followers. Twelve warriors with spears and ten warriors with crossbows. Not bad, he thought to himself, not bad at all. Khain then gave the order to set sail for the empire.
After a few weeks of traveling on the open sea, the sweet sight of land greeted them. They had finally made it to the Empire. That night, they reached land and headed straight for the cover of the trees. They kept going towards the Empire. After a few days, they saw a small town by the name of Montalle. Nagarha and his troop of warriors decided to stop and rest in Montalle for a while.
After a few days, riding Shadow, Nagarha, and his band of warriors, archers, and dark riders headed off in search of adventures, fame, and land throughout the vast Warhammer World…

And this is my army list:


Heroes
Nagarha (DE Noble), Great Weapon, Heavy Armour, Crossbow, Dark Steed-112 pts

Core
15 DE Warriors, Shields, Full Command-145 pts
10 DE Warriors, Crossbows-110 pts
5 Dark Riders, crossbows-127 pts
Total-494 pts

Total number of models-29 models
I still need to buy the DR and convert my noble

I'll keep you posted and i'll add to my fluff if you liked the first part


Oh and any name suggestions for my army are welcome to because I don't like it's name and I couldn't think of a better one

Thnx all :lol:

two days and no replies :angry:

Come on people pretty pretty plz, reply to my post :D

Nice story, good list too and...since you begged, how about Dark Storm for a name, yes a bit unoriginal but it sounds kwl.

Did he change his name, or did I miss something? Anyway, you should be glad someone paid such close attention.

I liked the detail in the fluff, good read. As for the list, well you can't ever go too wrong in 500pts and it looks alright.

As for a name, How about the silent Lathain. Lathain meaning storm in HE (I'm sorry, I know no DE lingo, forgive me :( ) It seems fitting being born under a storm and the silenceness of his striking. Should you expand the force it seems fitting to get an assassin, as Nagarha/Khain trained one of his trusted Dark Riders or something. Up to you.

Okay, I have a few quick thoughts for you.

1) Training as an Assassin isn't through a guild - if I remember right, babies are given to the Cult of Khaine and used in rituals, and any that happen to survive are trained. There's no way an adult DE would be accepted into the training, especially if it were to be on a whim, as it seems for your character.

2) Assassins, especially the best, wouldn't issue a challenge - they'd strike from the shadows with no warning at all.

3) After a year of training - which, by the way, would be basically nothing to someone with the lifespan of an elf - he travels 10 miles on foot to get drunk on ale? Doesn't seem plausible to me, nor is the fact a military commander would just happen to be there, telling all sorts of random people of his plans of assassination. Anybody that stupid would not have been accepted into the military, or would have been killed long ago.

4) What dark rider friends? You made no mention of them before this miraculous rescue...how do dark riders break into a jail, anyway?

Honestly, it seems like you haven't really thought any of this through, or done research on how your ideas fit into existing DE fluff.

Thats a bit harsh vrishnak, at least hes had a go. It should be enough that he is making the effort to write some fluff for his army as all most people are concerned with is playing.
On the other hand Vrishnak is right, you could have given it a bit more though L.Spitz, do you have the army book as there is lots of info there.

Omid: Sorry to disapoint you but the Dark elves speak adifferent language to High Elves.

Don't worry I was just using my current knowledge to its greatest ability and now I have learnt something new. Mind you I wouldn't of thought they speak different languages but hey, I'm no elf.