Why isn't DOOM a movie?

Get some dodgy actor to play The Doom Guy, have the film basically consist of him running around the place killing demons and zombies with loads of weapons, and making cheesey one liners for two hours... to a metal soundtrack.

Ultimate mindless action movie with unintentional humour.

Dunno. I guess they couldn't find anyone that wanted to run around like a mindless idiot and pretend to kill things on a set.

Wierd.

*looks on the horizon* nice one eastwood, theyre coming. they smell money.. RUN!!

There were four books released for it. Read them, and you'll see why it will never be a movie.

WB is making one.

Uwe Boll already optioned that movie. He's making it after 'Alone In The Dark' and 'Bloodrayne'.

A Doom movie!?

Video Game movies have hit an all time low... why not a PONG movie while we're at it?

Announcer...

This Summer...

To save a world...

One man, er, rectangle, must rise to the challenge...

Evil Rectangle: You can never defeat me!

Good Rectangle: I won't let you win!

Overendowed Actress: Rectangllllllllllll (breathes) lllllllllllllle!

Sean Connery: I'm waiting to be impressed, Good Rectangle.

Good Rectangle: We shall settle this... in THUNDERDOME!

PONG

Coming July 17, 2004.

This summer, it's Pongin' Time.

Have, I dunno, Bruce Campbell as The Doom Guy... Only actor you really need. Hire some other guys (Minor, mind) to do the zombies and monster "voices" and waste the rest of the money on special effects, soundtrack and marketing.

Utterly mindless popcorn action/horror flick with unintentional humour. Huzzah.

(rolls eyes)

Yes, we're familiar with the Tetris comic.

But did you have to bring it up? Mine was pretty unique... I mean, I don't see Sean Connery in that pic...

Plus I don't like Penny Arcade anyway, so I don't like having a quick gag of mine compared to them.

...... okay, and this little aside rant of yours is relevant to the topic HOW exactly?

And Eastwood: you've just described the 'Duke Nukem' movie (if it ever happens), not a 'Doom' movie. :) "Hail to the King, baby!"

You're the man now, dog!

Yup.

A doom movie... hm.

Evil (of course) german/french dude: Bring forward zee zombies! Mwahahah!
Nice guy: And zee shotgun, maddafakka.
Evil Dude: Hah! You will never defeat mich/moi! Attack him, me mindless army of zombies!!
Nice guy: Bring it on, mudheads.

*30 minute long fighting scene later*

Evil Dude: Noo! You defeated meh zombies!!
Nice Guy: That's what I do. Bitch.
Evil Dude: Now I shall run off, and you will chase me for about thirty minutes before we end it in a lame, predictable fighting scene!
Nice Guy: Sounds fair.

*one chase later*

Evil Dude: Hah! You will never defeat me!
Nice Guy: Sure I will.
Evil Dude: Sssh! You mut not reveal the exciting ending!
Nice Guy: Oh, sorry. Bring it on, crapforbrains.
Evil Dude: Yippie ka jay, muthaf****!!
Nice Guy: Hey! That's my line!
Evil Dude: Sorry.
Nice Guy: And you pronounced it wrong.
Evil Dude: Let's get on with zee fighting allready!!
Nice Guy: Of course.

*minutes later*

Evil Dude: NOO! YOU HAVE DEFEATED MEH!!
Nice Guy: I honestly didn't see that coming.

Credits:
BOOYAH, BITCH!

TEH END!

Sorry. Sorry. But ya know... I have yet to see a good game-to-movie film.
Maybe the Metroid movie...?

Samus: There is something fishy going on...
Metroid 1: It's not metroids, that's for sure.
Metroid 2: Aww man! Shut up!
*some dead metroids later*
...

Arr.

http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php

I'm thinking a film version of that.

Ah. But ya saw the link, yeah?
They wrote something about a doom movie there.

I find that comic funny, in a odd way.

I guess that is true. :D

I'd buy that for a dollar.

"RIP AND TEAR!"