I must vent. Again.

So, currently, no one around my area wants to hang around me. Not one kid will talk to me anymore.

Why? For a few reasons. One, most everyone seems to know I'm a depressive (clinically depressed), which causes me to act really abnormal a majority of the time. They seem to think it's their appointed duty to insult me about it, calling me a cutter and the like (I don't cut. Ever.). I often start crying in public and really freaking out for no reason, especially in large groups of people. Yes, I realize I could take pills, but when I do, my emotions flat line and I feel... well, nothing.

Two. I have cerebral palsy, which is a neurological disability which affects the right side of my body, making it considerably weaker. It also makes me drool a lot, and I have a speech impediment that seriously affects my talking. Now, my palsy affects me considerably less than most other kids who have it, but it still bothers the FUCK out of me when these moronic teenagers have to call me a "fucking tard", or whatever over it. It's just... ugghhh.

Three. My sexuality. I openly like boys a lot (95% gay, I guess, whatever). So of course, everyone has something to say about this, as well. To everyone I'm either a retard, cutter or a fag.

Because of these reasons, I have no friends and I am an anti-social bastard. Recently, most everyone that I actually talk to online has stopped talking to me as well. I'm also trying to not insult and flame anymore on this forum, because I really don't want to be seen as a prick anymore. Unless they actually deserve to be insulted. :|

Well, that's enough of my bitter bitching. Sorry if this was a waste of your time.

That really sucks man. Can't speak for others, but i'm sorry i haven't talked to you lately. Shit's been happening in my life too (My girlfriend breaking up with me, for one). I'll chat next time im online.

The fact that people are so insecure about their own image in the pack makes it all the more hilarious when they attempt to insult you about your various quirks to keep their standing.

But in all seriousness, that really sucks that people see you as either one of those three things.

That really messed up moonchild, I'm sorry that you have unfortunate problems like that. I randomly cry to and I'm bipolar DX Also I'm constantly worried about things and I have a minor case of ocd(I think) So I kinda understand you, if you want to talk to me PM or give me an irc channel to go to and we can have a conversation. :)

Don't let anyone call you names. First off there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi.

I'm anti-social and don't go out much either, there is nothing wrong with that. I get called emo because of the way I dress, though I'm not depressed at all nor am I even goth, which I get called as well. People are just asses, just ignore them and find some friends who can accept you for who you are.

As for cerebral palsy, it's fucked up for anyone to make fun of something like that, my brother has disorders and people call him retarded when we know very well he isn't.

Sorry if I'm not much help, you can talk to me online sometime if you want. BTW I really like your name.

I know I don't like you, though that was because you were being a dick.

But you expect to still have friends that didn't judge you by your disorders or preferences when you acted like a chronic asshole? Wow, what a card.

Well, I'm sorry that you don't like me Jet.

Yes, I did act like an asshole and it made it worse, but I'm trying my best to not be an asshole on the internet and in my real social life, but people still judge me. I guess that's what I get for acting like a dick, though, as you said. :|

From what Creepy tried to teach me with a bit of e-hazing: No one wants to know you if you're frowning or upset, they want a plastic smile to go with their plastic world, so they can keep their delusions and continue pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows.

Or, from what I got of it, seemed to say that people hate the real me, and prefer the happy "mask" I wear both on and offline to conceal my problems. *shrug*

Personally, I wouldn't tell anyone to change for someone else, but I would not only be a hypocrite, I'd be unhelpful.

Now, if your social needs are being stressed because of these assholes, then I guess you were never meant to be friends with them anyway. After all, who wants to be friends with someone that judges before they know the person? You were better off without them.

Yeah, you're right. I could say that being an internet dick-head was because of the bullying I suffer, but that's just another excuse. No excuse for being an asshat. I'll uh... try to be friendlier an' stuff.

Thanks for replying, even if you think I'm a twat.

You are right, too. No one on the internet wants to hear of your problems. You go to the internet to escape your life. Biiiiig smiles, now.

Most people don't want to hear about others' problems, and when they do sit and listen, it's usually only coming from a close friend or perhaps someone with genuine concern.

I know I've torn into a few people in my bad moods, and then they stopped talking to me when they saw I could be angry and annoying like anyone else they met in person. Unfortunately, that's the prize for putting down your plastic smile for even a moment and letting people see you're human.

Either way, if you be nice to people, people might be nice to you, regardless of your problems.

Eh, most of my friends in real life called me a monster. So I decided to go, "Screw you" and go away from them. I don't need them insulting me, I have my problems. And besides, who cares what they think. Sounds like they were never really good friends to begin with.

Just try to get yourself friends who are at least mature, it's what I did. It helps to be able to hold up a decent conversation with someone, and it not have to be about breasts or beer. Maybe it would help you to be able to connect with someone in real life, but it doesn't seem like there is anyone there who will do it for you.

I could of just laughed at you, which is what I really wanted to do. But you need the help right now, not someone being a complete ass. And, I'm not like that.

You seem like an alright sort to me. I've never had an in-depth conversation with you, granted, but I never got the impression that you were particularly unfriendly.

Well gee, I have news for you, Creepy was and is an idiot. Jet included this thread already seems to be a regular sob-about-your-problems-then-hug. Even if nobody was trying to console him its still important for people to get things off their chest, even if its such a simple way as posting on a forum.
Online is pretty darn similar to Reality save for the fact that you cant see people head-on and there tends to be less of a ratio on whose sexy and whose not unless you're paying. If you start acting fake from the get-go you're going to attract people who are fake and are attracted to the fake you. OF COURSE they're going to be shocked, annoyed, and possibly hurt when you slip into some completely awkward mood swing. I know you would and so would I. If its online friendship you seek, then just be yourself and the people will come to you liking and learning to deal with who you REALLY you are. Yes you're going to attract people who bitch and moan about what you're saying, but thats going to happen anywhere on the internet, just like the internet is a place for people who have no social lives to get their social on its a place for people to be complete dicks with getting their face crushed in. Trust me, I'm a bigger asshole then any of you will ever be(except maybe Takura) and I wish I could actually get rid of a few of my friends as far as the internet is concerned. Be yourself and eventually you'll find people who accept you for it.
Keep venting man, there are at least a few people on the forum who sympathize.

As far as the main topic is concerned. Back in the day making fun of someone with CP was ground for curb stompin', kids keep getting worse and worse. Im not too great at expressing sorrow but I can say that really sucks. But theres nothing wrong with who you are, if they cant accept you for that then its better that youre in here then out there.

Another problem I have is when people won't talk to me because of my CP. If my mom's with me, they'll usually ask her about me, my problems, etc. when I'm RIGHT. THERE. I can function in the real world, just not as well as I'd like to.

Then there's the people who actually congratulate me for being gay. I mean, what the fuck does it matter? I like boys, so what? I also hate it when gay people have to go around announcing their sexuality, like people actually care. This is coming from a gay guy.

I do have a small group of friend's, my band which consists of my two god brothers and one of my best friends. At least I have them to talk to.

Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone. It really does mean a lot when people go out of their way to reply to my bitching and moaning. I'd like to talk to whoever desires to, as well. Whenever that may be.

This might be somewhat personal, so obviously tell me if it's not appropriate, but how does the CP affect how you play the guitar?

Um. I actually have been playing bass with my fingers since 11, so I have incredibly fast/strong fingers. I usually play with a pick, simply because it's more convenient.