So he makes the 'House Of The Dead' movie, and it sucks. And now he's making an 'Alone In The Dark' movie, which looks to be 'House Of The Dead' with Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff.

But he apparently won't be happy until he makes movies about every video game on the market, because he's licensed 'Bloodrayne', 'Dungeon Siege' and now 'Fear Effect.' God help us if he tries to snag the 'Contra' license...

I'll only be afraid if he gets his filthy capitalist claws on the license for Grand Theft Auto, Halo or Command and Conquer (Not Generals, Generals was utter crap).

Since only Grand Theft Auto would actually make a decent live-action film, I'm not too worried. Halo would be a bad-ass CGI movie though.

- Harold Q. Eastwood, it's lightish red!

Don't forget 'Max Payne', other property that, in the right hands, would make a good movie.

Listening to the executive producer/screenwriter's rationale for making a 'House Of The Dead' movie on the DVD is hilarious. If there's only one good thing I can say about 'House Of The Dead', it's that it keeps the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 alive and well.

Max Payne - Never played
GTA - Would TOTALLY own theatres, or at least rock pretty hard.
Halo - Need I say anymore? THE NAME ITSELF SPEAKS WONDEROUS THINGS!!!

Those would be great movies... but seriously, I haven't even SEEN House of the Dead yet, and I can already tell it's mega-cheesy.

Really, am I the only one who thought House of the Dead was decent as far as movies go?

There was already a movie based on Grand Theft Auto. Except it came out in 1977, so technically the game was based off of the movie: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...?v=glance&s=dvd

If you don't like the producer, don't watch his movies.

Problem solved.

No it isn't, because he's still making movies and they're still being released wide. Because he's still getting $30 million to make movies that get wide-release when movies like Bubba Ho-Tep or Bad Santa or the Cowboy Bebop movie play only in selected cities. I'm a fan of junk-food cinema (as evidenced for my love of 'Bad Boys 2'), but House Of The Dead made Resident Evil look like Lord Of The Rings.

Things I learned while watching 'House Of The Dead'.

- Only 20 people will attend the biggest rave of the year.
- Taking videogame footage, adding a negative effect and adding strange colors do not a credits sequence make.
- Sega is a giant female.
- Clint Howard is too good for this movie, and he made the 'Ice Cream Man'.
- Shots of a zombie hand randomly grabbing a tree are not scary.
- Zombies have glowing red LED eyes, but it's a power so severe that it's only available for use once per movie.
- You only need one keg for the biggest rave of the year.
- Video cameras are not adaquate for zombie warfare.
- Police officers will shoot at whatever they feel like.
- College students aren't horribly broken up over trivial things like their best friend turning into a zombie and then being killed.
- Zombies can swim remarkably well even after rigor mortis has set in.
- Desert Eagles don't need to be reloaded. Ever.
- Random videogame footage is not a good scene transition device.
- Zombie spit is acidic, but it won't damage the eyes.
- Police can reload their pistols merely by holstering them.
- Desert Eagles look kinda like ray guns for a while, but then they change to look normal.
- On second thought, no guns need reloading. Ever, unless it might look cool.
- College students adjust remarkably well into a gun-toting bad-ass mode.
- Zombies aren't as sturdy as they used to be. A simple gut shot will take one down.
- There is such a thing as 'CGI abuse', and this movie is it.
- Sometimes, when you're trying to get to a fortified position, it's better to take your time doing so.
- Wells are dangerous dangerous things that need to be blown up, especially if they contain a zombiefied former Sega Of America president.
- Zombies can teleport air-ram springboards in so they can jump high.
- All Chinese people know kung-fu.
- It's best not to get caught up with kung-fuing zombies when all your friends with guns are elsewhere.
- College students have flashbacks that can cause epileptic seizures.
- A zombie shouldn't be shot until it grabs a stick. Then it becomes DEADLY.
- A thermos can double as a microscope.
- If you're going to blow yourself up, please do so away from the fort you're trying to fortify and defend. It's just common courtesy.
- Shooting at a wooden barrel will ignite the gunpowder within, friction be damned.
- Only Nicholas Cage, John Travolta and Tom Cruise can pull off the 'fake face' trick.
- When escaping from a place when you just dropped a live grenade, it's best to shut (but not slam) the door on your way out.
- Spinning cameras can make anything boring, even a swordfight.
- Someone who cannot die can be easily killed by stepping on them with a light bit of force.
- The government is in charge of 'zombie control'
- Inside gaming references as a major plot twist don't work. Ever.

Now, it's not like I'm calling for Uwe's head, since I find HOTD enjoyable in a 'drunken Ed Wood' sort of way. But my question is why are people apparently so eager to feed him money and licenses? It's not like HOTD was a success by any stretch of the imagination (it tanked at around half its total budget), so where's the money coming from?

And GTA the game isn't based off GTA the movie because the game doesn't have nearly enough Richie Cunnigham in it. :)