*The parentheses signify the girl's voice, and the quotations, the narrator's voice. *

Shall we dance? Shall we sing?
Shall we love? Shall we fly?
Shall we join our hands together,
Look each other in the eye,
Say
I am going to love you
‘Til the moment that I die?

(Yeah, are you going to love me
‘Til the moment that I die?)

"Why
My
Daily sunny sky,
See some clouds full of rain
That won't just pass us by."

(Yeah, there're clouds full of rain
That won't just pass us by.
But we'll dance, and we'll sing,
And we'll love, and we'll fly.
And we'll race above the land
Until we find us somewhere dry.)

Race above the land
Until we find us somewhere dry...

"Can't
Fly
With lightning in the sky.
The thunder and the wind
Won't let us go very high."

(Nah, the thunder and the wind
Couldn't stop us if they tried.)

"We should walk."

(We should run.
We should jump.)

"We should hide.
Wait until the weather calms
Before we start to fly."

(Only if you catch me
As I race across the sky.)

"You know I cannot chase you
If you race across the sky."

Lightning streaked above me,
And a tear escaped my eye.
I leapt up and I caught her
As she fell down from the sky.

(Shall we dance…?
Shall we sing…?
Shall we love...?)

Shall we cry?

(We shall join our hands together,
Look each other in the eye, say –)

"I am going to love you
‘Til the moment that I die."

(And I am going to love you
‘Til the moment that I die.)

And we danced.
And we sang.
And we loved.
And I cried.

And still I try to catch her
As she races through the sky.
I am going to love her
'Til the moment that I die.

Max

Cute stuff Max,keep it up.

Cute? Cute? DX I think that's an insult to Max's talent!

Beautiful work as always, Max! Nearly brought a tear to my eye. Excellent flow, and a rather unique style. And I must say, I admire your rhyme scheme. A nice mix of the out-of-the-ordinary, and a bit of familiar rhyming.

LOL!!!!!

CUTE WORK, max XD!

i like how you're being questioning and *eternal* in this poem :D

keep it up!

(My apologies for reviving dead topics, but Max happened to show me this poem just last week, and I happened to find it here.)

*smiles softly* ...Beautiful, Max. The cadence, the rhyme, the narration and the response...exquisite. I honestly haven't read a piece I liked that much in a long time. Possibly since I first read Edmund Spencer's "One day I wrote her name upon the strand". :gsjoy:

And I agree with Zaber. "Cute" is an insult to his work. :/

(And yes, Max, if you ever read this, it is the exact thing I told you from our IM conversation, but I wanted to tell you here, too. ^_^