Author unknown

Listen to the words of the Mother of Chocolate; who was of old
called:Godiva, Ethel M., Sara Lee, Nestle, Mrs. See, and by many other
names.

Whenever you have one of those cravings, once in a while and better it
be when your checkbook is full, then shall you assemble in a great
public place and bring offerings of money to the spirit of Me, who is
Queen of all Goodies.

In the mall shall you assemble, you who have eaten all your chocolate
and are hungry for more. To you I shall bring Good Things for your
tongue. And you shall be free from depression. And as a sign that you
are truly free, you shall have chocolate smears on your cheeks, and you
shall munch, nosh, snack, feast, and make yummy noises all in my
presence.

For mine is the ecstasy of phenylalanine, and mine is also the joy on
earth,yea, even into high orbit, for my law is "melts in your mouth, not
in you rhand". Keep clean your fingers, carry Wet Ones always, let none
stop you aside. For mine is the secret that opens your mouth, and mine
is the taste that puts a smile on your lips and comfy padding pounds on
your hips.

I am the gracious Goddess who gives the gift of joy onto the tummies of
men andwomen. Upon earth, I give knowledge of all things delicious, and
beyond death,well, I can't do much there. Sorry about that.

I demand only your money in sacrifice, for behold, chocolate is a
business, and you have to pay for those truffles before you eat them.

Hear now the words of the Goodie Goddess, she in the dust of whose feet
arethe cheap imitations, whose body graces candy racks and finer stores
everywhere: I, who am the beauty of chocolate chips, and the satisfying
softness of big bars, the mystery of how they get the filling inside
truffles, and fill the hearts of all but Philistines with desire, call
unto thy soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the soul of candy,
from me do all confections spring, and unto me all of you shall return,
again.... and again... and again.... and again.

Before my smeared face, beloved of women and men, thine innermost divine
self shall be enfolded in the rapture ofoverdose. Let my taste be within
thy mouth that rejoices. For behold, all acts of yumminess and pleasure
are my rituals. Therefore let there begooeyness and mess, crispness and
crackling, big slabs
and bite-size pieces,peanut butter and chocolate covered cherries all
within you.

And you who think to seek me, know that your seeking and yearning shall
avail you not unless you know the Mystery: "We shall sell no chocolate
until you pay for it". For behold: I have been with you since you were
just a baby, and I am that which is attained at nearly any shop in the
land. Messed be.

Hear now the words of the Chocolate God, who was called Ghirardelli,
Milton Snavely, Hershey, Bosco, Fudgesicle, and by many other names: I
am the strength of the candy rack, and the piece that fell on the floor
but looks like it may not have gotten too dirty, and the deepest
bitterness of dark chocolate. No matter how you try to resist the call
of chocolate, I will hunt you out, and I will become your sacred prey.

I am warmth of hot cocoa in the dead of winter, and the call of the road
that leads you to that really expensive Godiva store downtown. I give
you my creatures, the fire of love of chocolate, the power of jaw
strength to bite off a piece of that frozen Milky Way bar and the
shelter of Haagen Dazs when that big
date didn't work out. You are dear to me, and I instill in you my power
of apiece of chocolate that you had forgotten you had hidden, and the
power of vision and magickal sight with which you can spot a candy
counter a mile away. By the powers of the half melted bar in the
glorious sun, I charge you, by the darkest depths of the bottom of the
cocoa pot and lingering smell of bittersweet chocolate, I charge you,
and by the beauty of a perfectly swirled vanilla butter cream, I charge
you. Follow your heart and your instinct, wherever they lead you.

The wealth in your pocket can buy youtreats that a Mayan king would
envy. Take joy in that first bite of lecithinemulsified cocoa, and in
the last satisfying slurp of Yoo-Hoo. Yet you must be wary of deceit.
Eat not of that which is called "baking chocolate, for it is vile and
bitter. Lastly, always remember to leave some chocolate behind you. Be
not greedy, but let yourself beknown as a conoisseur. Leave a little for
someone else. I am with you always, just over your shoulder, or around
the next corner. I am the Lord of Chocolate, and when you have reached
the end of your hoard, I will never be further away from you than that
7-Eleven on the corner. I am the spirit of the wild child, the inner
child who can never get quite enough. If you are a true chocolate-lover,
then your soul and mine are intertwined. May the great wings of Inanna
enfold you, may the wisdom of Hecate guide you, and above all, may the
curiosity of
Persephone always keep you fresh, young at heart and mentally alive.