Was wandering through the old threads and found one on life tips. Thought I'd revamp it.

My mother taught me to....

Never date blonde men and never drink anything blue.

Good words! I'm not supposed to eat anything blue. I quote my folks:

If you don't want to feel like you're on a tight rope, don't get on one.

My dad: Keep the tools as sharp as possible, and put them away when you're done.

"If you hang around with thugs, you are a thug."

"Outer beauty fades while inner beauty grows."

Light sockets are fun, but deadly.

Dad: Work to live, don't live to work. No one lies on their deathbed wishing they went in that Saturday afternoon.

**applause**


"Tis why hubby and I gave up a lot of stuff - well, cigarettes was a good one to give up :P - to work 3 days per week and then more so he could retire at 60.
I just cook more meals and drink less beer! :lol:

Beer is working to live! :rofl:

:lol:

As long as I make just enough... :D

'I Can't' never could do anything.
'But I don't know how' needs to learn. *cough*LandS cooking*cough*

:rofl:

i just got "there's no such thing as can't"

and if i ever wanted a lift to school... "a little bit of rain won't hurt you."

:P @ Shay!

I can't cook either. :wall: It's pretty frustrating that I can't even make Kraft Dinner. (Totally true! I either undercook the pasta or get the cheese sauce too runny.)

i've never been able to understand the attraction of packet mac & cheese. it's actually easier to make real mac & cheese.

...You're not sugar, you wont melt!

Most of the things my parents tried to teach me, I only learned on my own, and hardly ever did I get the same lesson they did.


Most of what I learned from my parents came from watching their actions.

Mama taught me -

Not to look at the sun.

Wash hands after using the facilities.

Ugly in is ugly out.

Being a dirty old woman is *not* pretty. (She coulda taught JT a thing or 3) :P

Apple cider vinegar works for damn near everything!! :yes:

My Dad's famous words:

1. If I ever hear about you starting a fight, I am going to beat your tail.

2. If I ever hear about you running from a fight, I am going to beat your tail.

3. If I ever hear of you getting in a fight and getting your tail beat, I am going to beat your tail."

No pressure there..... :P

wanna fight?

One of my 'fondest' memories from childhood is my mother getting hysterical when I accidentally put my actual tongue on the metal spout of a drinking fountain. I think she was still screaming at me three days after the event. To this day I have a morbid fear of drinking fountains.

Love yourself. If you can't, no one else will either.

No matter who you vote for, you're gonna get screwed. The key is to vote for someone who'll screw everyone just as well as they screw you.

Treat your car well, and it will treat you well.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with an ice cream sunday.

If a girl hits you, hit her back. Don't let her get away with thinking you won't just because she's a girl. -- this one actually came from my mom... lol

Learn from the past, live today and prepare for the future, but remember to enjoy the ride there.

:blink: Flashbacks to my highshool romance history. There wasn't much conversation but I had a heck of a grip! :P

My parents always told me to go to school and get a good, stable job, and now, I find out that they're right!

Which is why I'm planning on going back to school not this year, but next year. Hopefully :)

I didn't get a lot of lessons when I was younger, because, I, like JD, learned from watching. I did learn what not to do, however, with my husband -- because seeing my parents fight was very painful for me.

However, I still get the odd bits of advice now and then as well! And its always fun :P

"Blue Hill Avenue is NOT a drag strip!"

^^
:fonz:


Diem: :rofl:


BCC's a stable girl? :wub: Why, what a coincidence, I'd be a stable boy...
Stable relationship that is :mellow:


My dad always made fishing analogies despite never having fished himself, like: combine your baits to heighten your odds of catching, use a slingshot first to get them biting before throwing in the hook, when you've caught a whopper pose for the camera and gently put it back as you're not good enough to keep it... :eyebrow:

Mum (when I was a tiddly wee one way back in Ottawa): Fork right knife wrong.

I have to do this now. Pay special attention to the lines in bold.

On A Plain-Nirvana

I'll start this off without any words
I got so high I scratched 'till I bled
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
The finest day that I've ever had
Was when I learned to cry on command
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?

I'm on a plain, mmmm
I can't complain, mmmm
I'm on a plain, mmmm

My mother died every night
It's safe to say, don't quote me on that
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
The black sheep got blackmailed again
Forgot to put on the zip code
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?

I'm on a plain, mmmm
I can't complain, mmmm
I'm on a plain, mmmm

Somewhere I have heard this before
In a dream my memory has stored
As a defence I'm neutered and spayed
What the hell am I trying to say?

It is now time to make it unclear
To write off lines that don't make sense
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
And one more special message to go
And then I'm done, and I can go home
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?

I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain...

(fades out into):

Ooh Ooh
Ooh Ooh

If you don't fight for your freedom, someone will surely take it from you.

Yeah, sure, let's go with that...