Ok....almost every week I watch a stupid monster movie (Live Action) they are honestly my favorites...The way I see it is, if it didn't ruin at least one persons career...I don't wanna watch it. Granted I do watch "good" movies once in a while, and if I watch one of those then I will post it here. Because this is my Weekly Movie Review!!! yay me!

The one I watched most recently is "How To Build A Monster." Rated R for Nudity, Language, and Graphic Violence

This was a pretty bad movie...It involves a video game company that is working to build the scariest game ever, to dominate the market. I won't go into to much detail but essentially the video game comes to life in an electrical storm and starts to play itself out...which involves killing everyone involved. I must admit, that in the end, the monster was pretty freaking cool looking (or scary to some) after it uses parts of the people it kills and some other spare parts to make itself...which I may be mistaken, but I don't think it did that in the game.

Things this movie included: 3 programers making a game in a month, A killer Mo-Cap suit, A topless lady jumping, The same topless lady with a sword, A multi-racial monster, An attractive intern, Crappy security system, A five minute long video game, Lots of blood, And a giant fish tank.

Overall...I give this movie 3 out of 5. :ph43r:

okay...I don't think i'll be watching that. its not the blood i fear, but the topless lady? ugh *shiver shiver*

Hey, that's why I let the people know. so they can judge for themselves :)

oh! and coming soon...this weeks Stupid Movie Review..."Reign in Darkness" :ph43r:

stupid movie review is right, a video game coming to life :huh: that's umm....different....very different

Just you wait...I have some more that I have seen that put a video game coming to life to SHAME!!!! :ph43r:

oh~hh......... spare us all! :o I mean..... please share some more P-chan.

Just kidding P-chan! I think this is a highly entertaining thread! lol ;)

OK, I have some free time so I will Review another one of my classic Stupid Movies. This movie is one of the top 3 Worst Movies that I have seen.

Monsturd Rated: Not Rated-if it were it would pro'lly be R for Violence and Language

Monsturd...as you can probably guess from the name, this movie is about a Giant Killer Turd. Yes you read that right, a Turd. Essentially there is a serial killer (Jack Schmitt) who is being chased by the cops, runs into the sewers to hide and gets shot and killed by the FBI in a pit that just happens to contain a mad scientists new creation: Turd Gas(not really called that, but you get the idea) and he comes back as a giant killer turd and kills people by coming up out of the toilets. The Clencher?? This is all happening at the same time as the Annual Chili Festival!!! PURE GENIUS!!!!

This movie included: A GIANT KILLER TURD!!!!, Diaper Armor, Sooth-O-Pink filled super soakers, A blatantly obvious South Park/Mr. Hanky rip-off, A vampire serving chili, A million flies in a Kitty Carrier, A two minute long vomit scene, Corn/Peanuts used as "bait", The line "Flies hurt Sh*t Man!!"

Overall this movie gets a 4 out of 5. :ph43r:

that sounds la----I mean interesting! *AHEM* not! wow...giant killer turds.....that makes sense.........P-chan......why do you watch these movies?

Why does anyone watch anything? Simply for the fact that I enjoy them. Granted I will admit that they are usually really stupid...but isn't that the point? It's like watching 60s horror movies, they make you laugh. Besides, if I don't watch them, then who will? :) :ph43r:

good point, ok everybody cheer for P-chan, who watches the stupidest, yet somehow funniest, movies......YAY!!! ok I'm done.... :D

Somehow P-Chan I can't decide whether I should admire you or feel really, really sorry for you.

killer turd....i can't make any comments on this,except...-_-''lll...killer turds aren't really interesting to me...

LOL! These reviews are so funny! Whenever Mantopia gets their page up, they'll have to have a special section for you so you can post all your movie reviews. We can't do that here at Fem-Gri-La because...well, no bishounen. And these movies sound icky. But you can continue posting them here until you can get an archive or something. ^.^

Ty-Chou

That and If/When I get my Master Ninja P-chan site up and running. I will have a section dedicated to my reviews....WITH screenshots!!! :ph43r:

ya know what P-chan, you could get your own artical in a newspaper, and get paid for this stuff......now we're only talking maybe about $50 but if you go to some small mag which needs to fill up pages, you could prolly get some more haha.....stupid isn't it? so what's the next movie?

that might not be a bad idea...Most of these movies haven't EVER been reviewed...


And I still have a back log of movies that I need to do...and I can assure you...some of them are PRETTY bad!! :ph43r:

haha.....lets hear them than! I need a good laugh, or at least something to do, I am SOOO bored!

Now I'm going to spend hours upon hours in the second time around near here looking for these movies. I have to hear the line "Flies hurt sh*t man" with my own ears.

By the way.. Have you figured out which host you are using yet for your website?

I actually found Monsturd in the new release section of the local Blockbuster.


And I decided to start out with Keenspace and work my way to my own domain if I get big enough. I even got it activated already...but Keenspace seems to have gone down so I can't do anything to it. :ph43r:

The new release section at Blockbuster. That should be an easy find around here then they've only got 20 of them around here.

What's the URL for your site?

It SHOULD be mnpc.keenspace.com...I haven't gotten it working yet though...I will let you guys know. :ph43r:

OK...Last night I rented Ghost Rig. No, not Ghost Ship(good movie), Ghost Rig...It's an oil rig...get it??

Ghost Rig. Rated R for Violence and Language.

This movie is about a group of activists who are trying to save an old oil rig from being decommissioned and sunk to be turned into a "natural reef" by occupying it so it can't be sunk. Well things first seem out of the ordinary when they get there and discover that the small crew that they were expecting to be on the rig were gone with no trace of them at all. The Group then procedes to settle down on the rig, but then they discover one of their friends dead. They soon realize that they are not alone...OOOHHH!!! Scary!!! *waves hands in a creepy manner.*

ok...Scary this movie is not. It had a pretty good concept but it wasn't done very well...Of course, this might be due to the fact that it was a foreign film. Scottish, as a matter of fact. ;) It did have it's good moments, but as a whole it was a very dissappointing movie. I won't tell you what the "Evil" is. (calls himself Legion) becasue that idea is one of the few good things about the movie itself...I just wish that they had explained things a little better. Oh well...If you have nothing else to do. Check this movie out

Ghost Rig contains: An abandoned oil rig, Hot girls with Scottish accents, A dead guy on the john, A rat, A dude in a wheelchair, Homemade spears, The occult, and A guy named Mole.

I give this movie: 2 out of 5 :ph43r:

okay...another strange movie...i don't think im gonna watch any of these movies, not because they're scary, but,no 'fense, they're...kinda stupid i guess...

[QUOTE]they're...kinda stupid i guess... [/QUOTE]

lol that is the point! That is why it is called '..Stupid Movie Reviews'

Expect stupid movies in here. But I'm with you, kitsune_yurei, I probably won't be watching any of these movies either.

:lol: no offense P-chan. Just because I won't watch them doesn't mean I don't love hearing the reviews. Because I love reading this thread. I laugh everytime. :D

a dead man on the jon? a guy named mole? hmmmmmmm sounds interesting, when I'm bored home alone, and have no life, which I have currently don't have, seeing how all day has been nothing but school work (I hate being sick in the middle of the school year) and computer......which has mainly consisted of this board! and maybe 2 other sites..........gosh I'm as pathetic as these movies aren't I? well at least at laugh! maybe its just at these movies, but hey its laughing none the less!

anyways, enough of my ramblings! great new review P-chan! love it! keep em rolling!

HEHEHEHE!!! I am going to a party tonight. And we are going to watch Monsturd! It's going to be good!! That and one of these days I am seriously going to call up the local papers and maybe some 'zines and see if they would accept some of my reviews. How sweet would that be? :ph43r:

very cool, very very cool, than you'd be famous! and every one could read the on true stick figure ninja's thoughts! haha!

wow...u would be famous! that would be intresting...

Urm...a video game coming to life?...a giant killer turd?...an abandoned oil rig? What were the people who created these movies on? I really want to know! Well anyways...good reviews P-chan keep 'em coming!

OK...this isn't really a review...since the movie hasn't even been made yet...But I just heard from a dependable source(thank you No-Chan) That they are currently in the process of filming and Aliens VS Predator movie. *does a little dance* I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY ABOUT THIS...BOTH THE XENO(Alien) AND THE YAUTJA(Predator) ARE MY FAVORITE MOVIE MONSTERS!!!! They are the freaking coolest movies ever to come out...and now they are putting them into on movie!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK...I will keep you updated on this.

BTW, They just started Filming in October, and it is scheduled to be out in theatres Fall of 04. YAY!! :ph43r:

*LOL* did you do some digging already, P-chan?? ;D Keep me informed if you find any really super cool info, kay??

Yeah guys.. AVP should totally RAWK! I'm excited.. ehehe blood and gore and aliens and jumpiness and um.. um.. VIOLENCE!! !*L* eHEheheEe.. yautja! I almost forgot that word..
what's hard meat and soft meat again! I fergot...

haha, that should be great, and of course getting nothing but rave reviews from you, oh One True Stick Figure Master Ninja P-chan! speaking of reviews, lets get another one! what strange movies have you watched lately?

kainde amedha - hard meat
pyode amedha - soft meat :) :ph43r:

so No-chan...are you going to introduce me to your little Yautja Fangirl friend ;) :ph43r:

Sadly, I have lost track of her... *Sniffle* Really.. I honestly wish I could find her.. I miss her!!

What the- what language is that? What's going on?....I'm too young to understand!!! *sniffles*

It's Predator language!! Haven't you ever seen those movies?? I mean, they were created probably before you were born.. Ehehe.. j/k.. but still!
Predators.. aka.. the Yautja .. there are books and comics and stuff and they put bits of the language throughout the books.. they call the Aliens hard meat, and humans are soft meat.. ;) gee wonder why!!
But anyway, they are hunting creatures that hunt for sport.. preferably intelligent creatures.
zat help? ;)

I forgot to thank you, P-chan, for posting those! I remember now.. though I seem to remember her saying them a bit differently.. Hmm! OH well!!

well...sometimes they are switched around...I wasn't able to remember which was was proper, but this one seemed right to me.

Yeah, the Yautja is a totally honorable race of hunters that live their whole lives hunting and training to hunt the ultimate prey...Oomans(humans). They know that when they come to hunt us...They aren't coming home. and they use the Xeno's for training...how freaking cool is that...TRAINING!!! (Xeno's are the aliens from the Alien movies) :ph43r:

After they made the Jason VS. Freddy movie, who couldn't tell that this movie wasn't gonna be next? I mean it was so obvious. Not that being obvious is bad or anything, it just was. And with all the cool stuff they can do with movies nowadays this movie is surely gonna kick some major @$$. The only possible way to bring this movie up a notch would be to throw Terminators into the mix. They did that with the card-game, making it into Aliens Vs. Predator Vs. Terminators Vs. Humans. Basically it all boils down to one thing: We're Screwed.

Out of all the Movie Monsters the Aliens and Predators are in my top ten, right up there with the Tremors Monsters (Graboids, Shriekers, and Assblasters).

I haven't seen Freddy vs. Jason...or was it Jason vs. Freddy? I haven't seen anything! Wait! I've seen Dreamcatcher! It was kinda weird! Hey P-chan have you seen Darkness Falls?