Hey this is my first non-fic! Tell me your thoughts about it!

DARKNESS

1. MEMORIES

There are moments in your life when thoughts can’t be expressed in words. There are moments in your life when feelings can’t be expresses in thoughts.
And then there are moments in your life when feelings can’t be expressed as feelings.

Not until now I begin to realize that this is that kind of moment. Sitting with my arms around my legs, leanings against the building with tears falling slowly from my eyes I sigh.
It’s in the dead of the night, no one is in sight.
The pale moonlight lightens the surroundings. It shines almost dreadfully across the palms and the exotic flowers.
If it weren’t for the blood pouring down my shoulder and the feelings racing through me this would have been peaceful. But when I feel my heart when it slowly returns to its normal beat, I can’t see what I used to think was beautiful. I don’t see the sky full of stars and I don’t hear the comfortable waves of the ocean.
The building I’m leaning on is a dance club, The Deep. Everybody goes there. They have everything from late movie nights to parties in glitz and glam. A place where people come to talk or just hang out. It’s by the iceblue ocean with its beach that is unbelievably long.
Gigantic palms stands by the ocean, rocking in the breeze.

My hands go to the expensive necklace I’m wearing, it’s still there. My clock around my wrist tells me it’s 2 am. Slowly I get up on shaky legs, a cool breeze removing the black curls from my face.
With my white shoes in my hand I begin my walk home. My feet moves down the stones to the beach. Close, the ocean looks even more beautiful.
Wading out in the water as long as my short dress allows I wash my wound clean. It stings and I try to block out the memory of that horrible knife, I’ll deal later.
On the other side of the ocean the palms are forming a big long line, I know I’ll be home soon.
I put on my shoes walking a path I know will take me home faster.
Soon I see our house very clearly, with its three floors and gigantic windows. I’ve always loved it. Outside the house standing in the garage with two guys is my brother David.
They’re all laughing, and all I want to do is cry.
His hair is as black as mine, bur very short. He’s nineteen I’m seventeen – that makes us more friends than brother and sister.
He’s the only person I know that has the ability to see right through me with just a look.
It can be good or really, really bad. That’s why I don’t want to see him right now.
So I pass them, not answering his questions.
I might have to later, but not now.

I’m walking the steps up to the house but stop at the last step. I can’t take another step. Memories are flashing by in front of my eyes.
A knife, my scream and that voice sent chills through my body.
Everything is hitting me with full force.

its good. i like it alot

Thanx! I´'m writing chapter two soon ;)

thats really good, it has a calming effect, even though it seems sorta scary, but it makes you relly quite

thanx! Yeah it is going to be alot more scary, so its just the beginning ;)
Have u read my other fic?

which one is that? i dont really like reading fan fics axactly, only non-fan fics

Ok, thats ok then... if u want to read it its called Loving You!

Hi,Louise! This is good story too,althought I like your fan fics more.keep going on.Bye.

Thanx! Yeah I like writing fanfics more, especially if its gaia/jake ;)

I like this a lot. I hope you keep continuing with the story. :D

keep on writing! i like it, a lot of mystery plz keep on going

yeah, it is sorta peaceful. i love it!

Thanx, I might put some of my real experience into it... some of it anyway!
I am writing the next chap, don't know when it will be up!

thats ok just keep on writing!! plz hurry up

I am writing....;) it's just that I'm writing my fanfic also! Have u checked it out?
Next chapter there is going to be trouble in paradise.. :hi:

Hurry hurry hurry

omg! that first chapter was so good, (it gave my chills! lol) it was sooooo good, keep going!

yeah, keep going! I'm reading your other fic too, you should keep writing both.

I am writing both so its hard to decide which one you should write the next chapter to, but don't worry its coming! Glad u liked it ;)

Hey! I know you've been waiting, so here's the next chapter stepping up to the danger that lies ahead. Thanx for all woooooonderful replies!
Enjoy! :hi:


2. THE BEGINNING

It all started at the dance. Me and my best friend were going to have the time of our lives, or so we thought. I didn’t know it would turn out to be the worst night of my life.

Blue big letters flashed the words The Deep.
In the distance I could see the symbol of a wave next to it, when Hanna and I came closer.
All over the school for the past week there had been papers in different colors, informing everyone about the Dance Night at The Deep. And since the club was more than appreciated of course there would be many people coming. Not just from our school.
But only Hanna had been able to make it since it was before a free week.
But I couldn’t have chosen a better company. She was the one who’d known me forever, knowing me inside out and we shared the same dry sense of humor.
Looking at her now I realized she really had outdone herself this time. She was beautiful in a different sort of way than most girls. But seeing her in her short red dress with thin straps, her blonde hair curling softly around her face and her iceblue eyes almost shimmering she looked like someone else.
I had to admit though, I was happy with my appearance too. I don’t know how much time I had spent looking at my reflection. Watching the brown eyes looking even bigger due to the expensive mascara, watching the same dress Hanna had but a white one clinging to every curve perfectly. It brought out my dark olive skin and my dark hair fell into deep curls behind my back. Together, I had to admit we were beautiful.
The dance had been arranged to give us an enjoyable and wonderful night.
And when Hanna and I walked into the dancing room, drinks in our hands it felt almost magical.
The whole room was glittering and shimmering with transformed women. In the ceiling there were lights flashing in every color. Tables around the dancing space were placed with red roses on each table.
I had to smile; this night was going to be unforgettable. We clinked our glasses smiling at each other and drank the sweet liquid.

- Look Coll, there’s Michael and the others Hanna said, grabbing my arm and dragging me to their table.
First Michael looked at us like he was confused, then he got that glint in his eye and smiled. It was clear to me that he liked what he saw, and that had to be taken as a compliment.
They made room for us and we sat down getting a clearer view of the dance floor.
- You ladies look hot, Mark said from Michael’s side.
I rolled my eyes.
- Well what did you think that we’d turn up in, jeans? Hanna said winking.
Everyone laughed.
The truth was the boys didn’t look bad either; they looked handsome in their own special way.
I had been together with Michael for a time and even though we aren’t together anymore we’re still close. All the boys sitting there actually, had been with Hanna and me, and some other girls in six years.
So of course we felt comfortable with each other. Comfortable enough to tell each other pretty much anything. Of course there were some things I really just talked to Hanna about, but even so.
I don’t think I would survive without either one of them.
I always thought they would be there for me, catching me when I fell.
But I never thought that one of them would turn so heavily into a man who would commit the crime of forcing sexual intercourse on a girl.
The crime of raping a girl. Especially when the girl was me.

whoa! that was good, and hey, Hanna is my name! hehe. anyway, which boy was it? keep going you have me in suspense now!

hurry up louise!! i wanna find out wat happens, write more plz plz!!!

Oh no! :o

:o awhhh poor girl .. my guess is mark .. but obviously i dont know all the guys names, only 2 so yeahh! but update it sooner then you did last time!

Yeah, i'm gonna try to update sooner, it's just I have two fics to write... so when one's chapter up u have to write another cahpter to the other! But hey, I AM going to update...don't worry! ;)

Right, since u people obviously want the next chapter... here it is! :D

3. HESITATION

Minute by minute passed, and we were all laughing it away. I don’t know how many boys that had asked me for a dance, but I was enjoying it for sure.
Drinks were being served, that sweet red liquid. I still didn’t know exactly what it contained but there was no doubt that there was alcohol in it.
I was sitting next to Michael and Seth, watching Hanna’s every move. She was really floating.
Michael and I had just danced and I could still after all that time, feel the spark.
When he swirled me around, bending me so low that my hair almost touched the floor, well everything about him really. I always thought he was sexy in a strange way, with that dark hair, those white teeth and that smile that used to make me week in the knees.
Only I knew he didn’t feel that way about me.

Mark was talking away with Seth and Paul on my left side. Cracking jokes in their own boyish way. Michael was saying something that brought me back to the earth again.
- What? I asked him.
- Have I told you how stunning you look tonight? he said a smile playing in the corner of his mouth.
- On several occasions, I smiled kissing his cheek.
Looking up I saw Hanna returning, red in the face from the dancing.
- Hey, she said squeezing herself in next to me. She drank from my glass, smiling.
- You’re sure popular tonight, I winked at her.
- Yeah, you too she laughed.
- Yeah, Coll sure has a way of spellbinding people Seth said breaking off from their conversation.
I laughed.
- Right, I don’t know how to take that, I said.
- Take it as a compliment, I would Mark said.
- Yeah well we know you would, Hanna said slipping her hand in mine.
She looked at me.
- What? I said.
- I have to go now, she said looking at her watch.
- What time is it?
- Eleven, and I got to get up early tomorrow you know, we’re going to my sister. You’re going to stay?
- Yeah, for a while, I said getting up Hanna doing the same.
- So I’ll call you ok? I mean when I get back.
- Yeah, absolutely I said hugging her.
- Ok, she said walking towards the entrance and turning around to blow me a kiss. I waved returning the gesture and seeing her laugh.

- So what are we going to do now, I asked looking at all of them.
- I don’t know, do you want to go for a walk? Seth suddenly asked.
I looked at him, from his white shirt to the blond short hair trying to read that expression he had in his eyes. He had been my neighbor since I was six, so obviously he knew me pretty well. And I really felt like taking a walk. He had even been my first boyfriend when I was younger, I remember holding his hand while walking to school, kissing him for the first time, crying when he yelled at me and holding him when his brother died.
So why did it bother me so much going alone with him when he was one of the persons I would die for? That expression it was so difficult to place, but apparently I was just being paranoid. He wasn’t the person who would hurt anyone, so I got up and followed him out of the door.
Before I followed him though, Michael grabbed my hand turning me around.
- Come back later ok? I want to tell you something, Collette.
Ok, so maybe there were still feelings between us.
- Sure, I said letting go of his hand, smiling.
Seth and I walked out of the door, a cool breeze blowing at our faces. Of course nothing was wrong, I was just imagining things.
So why did it feel so wrong when he put his hand around my waist like he had done on several occasions.
Why did I want to scream when we walked the dark boardwalk next to the beach leading to another path.
And why didn’t I run away when I knew I’d been right all along. There was something strange in his eyes. There was that hunger and craving in his eyes, only in a sick way.
That look told me that he would do anything to get what he wanted. That was when he pulled out the knife, glittering in the moonlight. And when he turned me around pushing me into that dark path where nobody ever went, I screamed. Loud.

OhMiGawd! AHHHH :'( NOOO!!

omigod, i thought it was gonna be the other guy... eek, suspence! love it keep going!

:'( i feel so bad for her!

Yeah...I know tragic isn't it, next chapter is going to be awful! Anyway it's coming up soon, I've written it - I just have to type it on the computer!

omg how horrible curse seth curse him curse him
anyway, thats so bad hurry up tho write more

Yeah I am, I'm going to write it tomorrow on the FF I have already written it in my block! :D So don't worry! Love your fic ;)

3. DARKNESS

It was dark all around me when I stumbled, reaching for anything, screaming like I’d never done before.
Fear was clinging to every part of me, blocking my common sense. When I turned my head I stared straight into the eyes of Seth. Those ice green eyes that used to hold kindness and affection, now they held darkness and insanity.
- If you say one word, I will not hesitate to use this, he snarled. He put the knife so close to my throat it almost touched the skin. I forced myself to hold his gaze.
- You wouldn’t dare, I said my voice shaking.
- Oh, I would, he laughed coldly.
I have to get out of here. That was the first thing that raced through my mind.
My legs were shaking, but I had to go back to The Deep to the others. Away from Seth.
I felt a surge of hatred that filled me from my toes to every top of my carefully arranged hair.
I hadn’t felt so angry and hateful in my entire life, everything about him got to me. I hated the way his hair was all shiny, how his eyes glinted, how he had shown the real Seth and that I hadn’t seen right through him. I hated everything about him.
So I did the one thing that came into my mind, I kicked him hard in the crutch.
And I ran as I’d never run in my entire life. Only I knew he would catch me as soon as he got to his feet. But in the haste of running away from him, feeling the air against my bare skin I fell. When I got up and turned around Seth was there, looking as angry as I’d ever seen him.
I tried to scream but this time his hand reached up and closed around my mouth, no sound came out.

He pressed the blade of the knife lightly against my shoulder sending a searing pain through my skin. I watched the blood falling silently and it only made me angry.
I tried to kick him, but he was ever so fast moving very quickly.
- Coll, Coll, Coll it’s no use can’t you see that? Seth said his voice full of insane amusement.¨
It was sick, it was stupid but most of all it was tragic. His other hand had curled around both of my wrists holding them hard. When I tried to pull them away, the grip only tightened and Seth laughed that horrible laugh.
Why the hell did I walk with him, why hadn’t I just stayed with Michael?
He was leading me back to the path that was full of old trees and palms. Everything was dead there, no one ever went there.
I just wanted to know what had turned him so heavily.
The knife was in his belt, and I found myself wishing for it. I tried to struggle against his grip, I really did. But suddenly he pulled something dark out of his pocket, a dark cloth. When he pulled it over my eyes I tried to swat his hand away but he was too fast, tying it hard over my eyes making my head ache. In one last attempt I screamed while reaching for his knife. I failed there too.
And all he did was laugh, it was the worst sound I had ever heard and now I couldn’t see anything. He was leading me through that dark path I guessed, because the ground wasn’t even. His hand pressed deeper into my mouth and I felt helpless.

- You see Coll, you shouldn’t have left me. You see what happened don’t you? he asked in a hard voice.
It was so sad, all of this because I had broken up with him. Now I could feel tears running down my cheeks.
I could see Hanna’s face before me with that confident smile. I just felt miserable; I could have left with her.
Fear was now everywhere, surrounding me from every corner. And the knowledge that Seth could get what he wanted, made me feel ill.
I didn’t freeze but I hadn’t felt so cold in my entire life. It was in the air, sending chills down my spine.
He was pressing something against my mouth; I knew exactly what he was doing. I tried to turn my head to get away from it, but he was holding my head with his other hand.
Laughing yet again, when I wanted to break down and cry.
I was too late for anything; I already felt my knees giving away. Another kind of darkness was falling over me, a darkness that was pulling me away from consciousness.
A darkness that said that I was lost.
Lost to the world of rape.

god.. that is so sad. really wonderful writing though, you have great style. i feel so bad for her. you need to write more.

Thank you, yeah it is sad isn't it? I just wanted to try something different...
Well here's the next one! ;)

5. VIRGINITY

Opening my eyes I didn’t realize where I was, what was happening until I saw him. He was bent over me with my white dress in his hands. He hung it over a branch, smiling that evil smile. I shivered, but now I could see.
The breeze against my body wasn’t cold, but it touched naked skin. I was standing in my underwear and I felt very exposed.
Both my hands and feet were tied to a tree, there was no way out.
It was very dark, above the palms and trees the sky opened, spread with stars. The bushes I could make out in the darkness were dead and old. A dead tree had fallen over the ground. I wanted to look anywhere but at Seth, I didn’t want to think about what he had in mind for me. Mainly because I knew he could do it, there was no one stopping him now.

I closed my eyes and listened. In front of us was the blue ocean, with its waves rolling onto the beach. It sounded like music, like the most beautiful music I’d ever heard. It had a tinge of freedom in it, it was peaceful.
But it was far away, it only reached my ears and touched something inside of me but I couldn’t see it. It felt like something I’d never see again.
I opened my eyes; he was right in front of me. His mouth was curled into a sick grin. I felt like I was in hell, burning. It became very clear to me what he was about to do, even if some part of me had guessed it all along. I thanked God that I wasn’t a virgin.

Virginity, it’s not a big word but it meant so much – it is very deep.
I lost mine to Michael Pendleton, my best friend.
I’ve always thought of the virginity as a gift you give to someone, I know some people think that’s ridiculous but not me.
A relationship is like a necklace of gold. When you’re in a relationship you give this golden necklace to the someone you love.
The chain is what keeps you together, sealing you together and completing each other.
On the chain there are small but still beautiful jewels.
Those are the things that surround the relationship. It’s all small gifts ; the kisses you feel all the way to your heart, the everyday embraces the small but yet precious words you exchange everyday, all the things you do together and the knowledge that the two of you are in on a secret no one else will ever know.
And in the middle of the small jewels there’s a big sparkling and shimmering diamond. It’s a gift you give to someone you can trust your life with. You give it to someone you love. That gift is your virginity.

With Michael it had been amazing. I didn’t really know if I was ready but I really trusted him.
It had been scary, not scary like I felt at this very moment but scary in a good way.
It wasn’t his first time, so of course it made me nervous. But we knew each other so well it was almost like he was a part of me. That deep friendship that comes between a girl and a boy only made it more comfortable and natural. And as soon as his lips had touched mine I felt so safe and protected. He swept away all of the fears I had and took me right through it, leaving me with the most amazing feeling.
He had been so gentle and sweet, and it did matter – the way he made me feel. Like no one could ever touch me.
Well I guess I got it wrong there because someone was going to touch me.

All I wanted was to get out of this nightmare, I wanted to wake up.
I wanted to tell Michael that I never really stopped loving him.
But the fact was, I wasn’t going to wake up. This was real.
And my worst nightmares were about to come true.

i hate seth, i want to kill him. i feel so sorry for her, like, i hope that she will get away, but i dont think she will. you have an amazing writing talent.

Yeah I know u do feel sry for her, and it really feels awful to write about things like this! But this is a new thing for me so I'm just trying it out.
Thaaaank u though! :D

oh gawd! ur the writer! get her outta there! lol .. its amazing .. but its scary, and it makes me wanna cry!

Thanks April... Yeah awful huh? Yeah but I can't get her out of there...srry!
I feel really awful writing stuff like this! :unsure:

Its fine .. atleast we know she doesnt die! cause at the beginning shes going home so YEY! lol .. but write more!!!