Azrael

Race:Male Elf

Age:47

Height: 6'2"

Weight:180 lbs

Eye Color:green

Hair Color:silver

Element: Fire

Physical Description:Tall,skinny,tall,not really weak,but not strong,gray-black skin,Black tunic,brown tall boots,brown leather gauntlets,silver necklace,wear's clothes over armor,all clothes baggy.

Personality:a loner, but very friendly,act weird alot,thaes insults as compliments,always cheerful.

Class: Ranger

Level:1

Equipment
Weapon: Archer's Bow
Head Armor:Jade GreenCloth Cloak (Hooded)
Body Armor:Leather Breastplate
Hand Armor:Leather Gloves
Leg Armor:Leather Boots

Gold: 3,000

Items: Bandage kit

Skill(s): Charge Shot

Background:Azrael grew up with his family(mother,father and a sister) for a 20 years on a small tropical Island on the Outer Rim. His, mother was very caring, and often let wild animals in the house. His family lived side by side with nature. The got their food from the animals, and trips once ayear to Lienthala, which Azrael never got to go to.Azrael always wanted to go to Lienthala, and it was the day before the trip, and it happend.
A dragon came out of nowhere,and for no apparent reason attacked and burninated their home.Azrael was fishing,but saw the dragon and hid in the mangroves on the coast to avoid being killed.

Azrael sprinted towards home, carrying his fish in a bag on his back. He obtained a few scratches on the run, and about half home in his mad dash he few, and felt a splitting pain in his left arm. He didn't care,he put the fish bag in the other arm. He would need the fish for food. two-thirds of the way there, he saw the forest burning. It was a Large Blaze that appeared to originate from his home. the ground was scorching, Azrael's bare feet were screaming with pain. When he got to his home, it was leveled. The roof caved in, and it was burning.He rushed to the scene, evading peices of burning debris. His mother, and sister were lost in the house.the left wall was standing, but the rest was crushed under the roof. He saw the limp form of his father on the beach,in the water.He rushed to him, to see if he was dead or not. He was breathing, just barely.a week later his father gained his conciusness.That's when his father told him to learn to fight so this didn't happen to him.His father was an acomplished ranger,and taught Azrael as much as he could before he passes due to his internal burns that ate some parts of his organs,be he could still teach Azrael.

There was little time to rest each day. It was training, then lunch, then training until nightfall, in which they would sleep in the small house they built. Then 5 years after the incident, Azrael's father died from his internal burn wounds.

He had lived by himself, with animal company, for twenty more years.Hunting, farming,fishing, and perfecting his skills.But Azrael felt an emptiness in his life, he knew he needed something, he needed to meet someone. So he spent a week building a boat and gathering supplies he needed to last for as long he was sailing. He didn't know if he would find supplies he needed on the other places he would sail to. For two years he sailed, meeting villages of dwarves, but no elves like himself. He sailed for another week, with no sight of land. Eventually he landed at a big city. He later learned that the place he was at was the one and only Lienthala, which his family used to visit every year. He lived on the street with the homeless. He worked , but the housing was expensive. He needed a hunting and fishing permit, so he just worked for money so he could live. The ones one the street he lived with were nice, and when he got food, he gave them some. It was the best he could do for the hospitality. He decided he didn't like living on the streets, so he moved in to the forest, with a few of his friends. He goes into town to work and to buy supplies.

The years and years Azrael spent alone affected him a bit. He gets a little crazy at times, is life threatening sitautions and he thinks about being alone again. Then he snaps and goes just a little bit insane,okay he goes completley insane. The rest of the time he fine though.

It's looking good, but I'm seeing waaaaay too many comma's. And lengthen the background please, show us you have true potential for this site! ^_^

I began to think anout commas a little, hehe ^^;.

In case you are new to these forums, you don't need to make another post to post the better registration. All you have to do is press the edit button at the top of your post, and edit the length, misspellings, etc, etc.

I know, I've been to tons of IF forums,heck,I've even made a few!(utter failures though(one did okay)).\

Edited!

.. Lemme see if I can help a little bit. Check the other registrations that have been accepted and the registration of that person locked. See how long and detailed their's are? Try to go to that length. ^_^

I can't think of anything :'(

"When Azrael got home he found his home burned to the ground and only his father was alive,but just barely alive.a few weeks later his father said he needed to learn to protect himself because his father knew his wounds would get the best of him.His father was an accomplished Ranger and taught Azrael as much as he could before he died."

That's what you wrote... Now I'll show you how to lengthen and detail highly...

"When Azrael got home after being hidden from the powerful dragon he saw, he panted some. He looked in complete shock, as the house he had grown up in with his parents was now in flames. The house had been burning for at least an hour, and half the roof had been caved in. Yelling out with fright of his own family, Azrael rushed to the house, and tried to get inside. Luckily he only took a few minor burns as he pulled his father from the deadly fire that the house had been. Setting him down onto the ground at least fifty feet away, Azrael's eyes widened, a few tears forming in the corner of his eyes as he saw his father's limp form in front of him. He put a hand on his chest, and felt a low breathing, which meant that his father was alive. Sighing in relief, he pulled a small vial of water he used in case of emergencies, and dripped a few drops onto his father's face, and lips. Almost instantly his father woke up, licking the water off of his lips; the fire had dangerously dehydrated him. Azrael gave his father the vial of water, and let him drink, trying to get his strength back. After downing the water, his father was able to speak. He had told Azrael what had happened, which angered him highly. After several weeks of intense recovery, Azrael's father could actually walk and talk almost as good as he was able to before, but his body was still badly burned. "Azrael... You must learn to protect yourself better than you have been. I know you've been trying hard... But you need to try harder, understand? If not, you'll have an easy weakness." Azrael nodded to his father, knowing that his father had the best intention at heart, him being a very respectable ranger himself back in his youth and prime. Soon after his father had told him that Azrael had started to try and focus on the things ahead of him in his life, and not to be weakened to a mere villager that's too paranoid for his own life. Azrael was sent word that his father had died from the injuries of the fire. Azrael stayed in mourning for his own father's passing for three days, before he sucked his emotions deep down and buried them, and continued to train like his father had asked him to."

See, that's the kind of thing you need to do. I don't want to see this own bit in your post, it was just an example set to show you how to lengthen and detail your posts/background at the same time, makes it more interesting for the eyes. Understand? Now try to detail and lengthen.

better?

... Looking better, good job. But what we need isn't just one paragraph lengthened. We need them all. ^_^

Oh, yes. Azrael, you cannot be a Dark elf. The three available races are as following:

Elf (Normal)

Dwarf

Human

Please change to just an elf, or a human in order to be a ranger.

better?

Yes, Better. But its still not acceptance quality, Azrael. When I meant all the paragraphs lengthened, I didn't just mean one more. Lengthen and detail the rest of the registration, maybe add a bit more THEN we'll see how good it is, alright? I'm not trying to be a jerk, but its rules.

Yes, just to comment on the 'rules' aspect, it's not Elither's fault, per se. I'm really the one who set the standards and expectations for registration. So he's just doing what I've told all the admins to do. ^_^

It is looking good though, keep it up. I think you just need to make it a little longer and you'll be set. ^_^

better?

Alright Azrael. You've done good, sticking through these days while we've tried to get your registration done. I have some good news for you... If you can manage to fit one more paragraph into your registration, you're accepted into DI, can you do that? ^_^ I promise you won't have to do any more to your registration, we just need one more decent lengthed paragraph!

arg, it was hard to lengthen the to smaller ones!

man, I'll have to think REALLY hard!

ARG! can't think of anything!

Come on Azrael. Just one more paragraph, you can do it.