1.Name of character- Gilgamesh (known better as Gil)
2.real world player- John Magness
3.age- 23
4.class- Heavy Blade

5.clothing-
Gil is clad in a red tunic that is covered by a black vest, it reaches down to his ankles. He also wears a pair of loose black pants with brown boots that reach the center of his lower legs. His hands and forearms are covered by a pair of black fingerless gloves, which have an odd pattern of wavy red lines on them.
Physcial appearance:
Gilgamesh is a tall character with a lithe build about him. His long red hair is tied back in a ponytail and his facial features are sharp yet inviting and friendly. Gil's wavemarks are a pair of black marks that run down his cheeks from hsi temples in a cresent pattern.

6.eye color- Piercing Green
7.height- 6'4
8-hair color- Red

9.personality- Gilgamesh is simply an extension of John's personality. Laid back and generally very friendly as well as outgoing, John loves meeting new people and is always up for something entertaining. Using "The World" as a chance to be in a different place for the sake of enjoyment, John loves the idea of making friends online and going on quests. He refuses to simply run around and level up, that isn't the point of the game as far as he is concerned.

In "The World" John does act like the wandering swordsman type. More often to be found in fields and dungeons, Gil takes time to simply enjoy the virtual world around him, and is willing to part with whatever knowladge he finds. it is already very clear that John would like to become a guide for other new players that join "The World" when he finds out the majority of what he can. In short John becomes completely immersed into the game when he slips on that VR helemt and logs into "The World" and is no longer John Magness, but Gilgamesh the swordsman.

10.Weapon/Armor-
Kikuichimonji
Bandanna
Wirstbands
Leather Coat
Sandals

11.Skills-
Hayabusa
Repth
Juk Rom
Gan Zot

12.
Yes this is great, I've heard so much about this and I can finally afford it. John thought as he walked home from the store where he had purchased "The World" and the gear needed for it. John wasn's poor or anything. he had just been busy saving up for a place of his own when he had heard about "The World' It clearly had been around for a while, and he had heard about it in passing, but finally a friend of his who ahd been playing for a while informed John of what "The World" was really like. John was intrigued. After saving up enough money John went out and got the setup for the game. He had recently gotten a job where he worked from home. This allowed him to be online most of the time and he didn't have to worry about how much time he spent on the game as long as he made the quota for his job. Things seemed perfect now.

John got everything setup and got the game installed onto his computer.
"Now what do I want to be? So many options." He muttered to himself. Being a weapons collector, he settled on the heavy blade when he saw a Katana was availble to him. He was hooked on the idea. After spending some time tailoring his character's looks and rechecking what he wanted, John slipped on the VR helment and smiled as he selected the 'log in' option. It was time to begin his journey through "The World"

Okay, your clothing description could use some cleaning up. Grammatically, it needs to be changed a bit so that it flows better and so that a few other errors are fixed up. If you can't spot em, let me know.

I think you need to expand a bit on how your character looks. Any distinguishing marks? Tattoos, scars, birthmark, something like that could add a bit of variety.

It would be good to add a lot more dialogue between two people in your sample RP. It also needs to be much more fleshed out, around a page in Microsoft Word or another word processor. Talking more about who he is, what his emotions are, and perhaps running through a bit of a normal day could easily bulk that up.

Not seeing too many grammatical or spelling errors at the moment though...someone could correct me on that. Flow is mainly what I'm worried about. Try reading the sentences back to yourself. If it sounds choppy, or odd, try and work it a bit.