Name in The World: Dwynwen Brooks
Real Name: Miyuki Benbow
Age: 16
Class: Wavemaster
Eye Color: Light Brown
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 5 ft.
Clothing: Dwynwen wears a solid white nun's outfit and white dress sandals. She also has a silver necklace adorned with a bejeweled cross that she wears, but it has absolutely no use other than being an accessory.

Personality: Miyuki is agoraphobic due to an uncorrectable need to not unintentionally interrupt anyone while they can see her face. Due to this, she refuses to go out in public or talk to anyone in real life, including her parents; however, she has no trouble speaking to herself, objects, or people that cannot see what she really looks like (i.e. through writing, IM, etc.). She loves to play video games and program software whenever her private tutor isn't hunting her down for skipping his lessons on her most hated subject: History. She doesn't really like Japanese names and prefers Welsh or Gaelic ones.

Unlike Miyuki, Dwynwen is not agoraphobic. Dwynwen is what Miyuki's personality would have been if she was less polite in the presence of "real" people: sly and alert. One would think this would be hard to manage with the way she dresses, but Dwynwen successfully does so without alerting anyone to her motives by either being very polite or by manipulating a person's guilt complex. Her name reflects Miyuki's fascination with the element of water and Welsh names.

Weapon/Armor & Skills: Cypress Wand (Rue Rom) -Weapon-, Bandanna (Repth) -Head-, Wristbands (Juk Rom) -Arms-, Leather Coat (Gan Zot) -Body-, Sandals -Feet-

How Miyuki Found The World:
Miyuki was sitting in front of the plasma screen TV in her house, staring at the blank screen in boredom. Not a single show on air captured her interest whatsoever. With a sigh, she stood up and walked upstairs to the second floor. Once she got to the top, she turned to the left to head towards her bedroom. She passed by at least five rooms before reaching the end of the hallway where only a closet and a trap door in the ceiling exist. Miyuki opened the closet door, grabed the stool, and used it to open the trap door which led to her secluded room. She pulled down the rope ladder at the top before putting the stool away and nudging the door closed. She then climbed up to her safe spot.

Her room is rather large for your average sixteen-year old's, and it's no surprise: Miyuki's parents are both CEOs of large corporations. The walls are painted a light lilac color, with the ceiling colored with a darker shade of it. She has a queen sized bed with purple silk sheets adorning it sitting in the far left corner. To the right, she has her personal computer on top of an oak desk with a black computer chair. To the near right, Miyuki has a medium-sized television with video game consoles and games organized neatly into the adjoining cabinet. Lining the walls everywhere but near her bed and the window are shelves lined with stuffed toys.

As soon as she finished pulling up the ladder and closed the trap door, Miyuki walked over to her PC and turned it on. She then sat down and contemplated on what to do for the rest of the day. Once the login screen popped up, Miyuki typed in her completely random password and awaited the desktop's appearance on the monitor. Afterwards, she logged into her instant messaging software with the hope that at least one of her Japanese relatives are online and available to talk to her at the time. Thankfully, her older cousin Natsu was online and actually wanted to talk to her.

"Natchan, it's rather rare for you to actually be on IM. What's wrong?" Miyuki typed.

In reply, Natsu said, "Oh, nothing. I was just hoping that one of my friends would play with me on The World, but it seems like she has caught the flu."

Knowing very well that Natsu was an avid gamer just like herself, Miyuki started to question her cousin about the game, which she had heard about via discussion boards but never took a look at. The older girl explained to her junior that The World was an online virtual reality game that was regaining popularity in its native country due to whatever problems it had several years ago disappearing. She even went further into detail about things such as classes, spells, skills, and keywords.

"I believe there is an American server. Why don't you play it, too?" Natsu suggested after finishing her description of the MMORPG.

Thanks to her cousin's explanation, Miyuki desperately wanted to play it. She accessed the bank account her mother set aside for her and made sure there was enough money left that her parents would not yell at her for spending too much money, which, in their eyes, is anything that sets the account balance under the maximum value the government would refund if the bank went bankrupt. (Miyuki never understood why they thought this, though, as they would have wasted a whole lot of money if she didn't spend it before such a critical situation happened to occur.) Once she found out that she had absolutely no trouble buying a limo with the amount of money she had left, she purchased everything she needed to play the game online and asked for it be sent through express mail.

When everything arrived, she had one of her parents’ servants bring the entire thing up to her room. She then set up the equipment as described in the instruction manual. After she finished the preparation work, she started to play The World with her newly-created female Wavemaster, Dwynwen Brooks.

A very good start, just two comments.

First, I saw two sentences that seemed like they could be changed just a little bit. Here's an example of one:

If you look at the first sentence, it's written in the past tense (-ed endings) and if you look at the second sentence, it's written in the current tense (-s/-es endings usually). So you might want to correct that through out your story and keep to one tense. Someone else verify that I'm reading it correctly though, I just woke up like 10 minutes ago. =P

Second, you might want to add just a smidge more on to the end of your story. I know you already described about your character and their personality, but perhaps write a little bit about the actual creation of your character or when you're getting everything first set up to log into the 'The World'.

Beyond that, very good start. =D