That's right folks!!! The armory is going to be moved permanently!!! And it's here!!!


I am going to wait until this board is up and running full swing before it starts, but feel free to recommend weaponry until then!!!

CHEEZ WHIZ!!!

CHEEZ WHIZ!!!

How about Spam? A nice can of spam, bet you wouldn't see that one coming!
:P :mischief:

ketchup :blink:

Cheez wix owns all of you.

That and relish...mmm...

*turns up the music*

I'm... too godly for this topic. Too godly for this topic--Too godly by far!

You know what I mean. :mischief:

My suggestions for the Armory:

Figs and Mice
A Tank. A Really BIG One!!
The Holy Hand Grenade
A Herring
Windows XP
Eccoli Virus
Paper Machè
A Giant Gumball Machine
Bun Bun
KITTENs
Telemarketers R Us
Balefire In a Can
A Flutaphone
An Oboe
A Box of One Dozen Starving Crazed Weasels
Saurekraut
An Unsharp Pencil
Poison Lipstick
Rabid Puffin Dingos
Bee In a Pop Can

That is my list. Is not nifty?

Actually, you wouldn't believe how vicious kittens can be..

*Looks at Olver*

Especially when they've lost their MITTENS.

Isn't that right, Merin? :D

<shudders>

I don't even want to think about it...

*Walks in brandishing spear*


*Takes off coat*

*waits*

<comes sashaying in with her fan a fluttering. She's small...but strongly built. Her hair is jet black but not nearly so much as her eyes. Which were sparkling in delight as she beheld the unshirted Mat>

Now I can see your cute bottom :naughty:

<quickly she crosses the room and stabs the wall with her marriage knife right over Mat's shoulder>

So...let's begin...

Watch it. Oorla's gonna get jealous.


*begins waving and slashing spear through the air with calculated ease*


Deer in the Meadow becomes Eagle on the Mountain

Eagle on the Mountain becomes Cockatoo in a Smallish Cage

Cockatoo in a Smallish Cage becomes Weiner Dog under the Horse Carriage

Weiner Dog under the Horse Carriage becomes Lil Duckling Quacking Profusely


*Brings the spear to bear and slashes down towards Merin's forehead stopping only at the last second to shear a lone hair*

Time to see what a Lil Duckling can do.

well...you certainly know how to dance.

<watches as Mat goes through all his other lil moves>

You see...with any other man I would be freaked...but considering that it is you, Mat...I know how to control you.

Allow me to practice a philosophy as put forward by Piers Anthony:

<shrugs her shoulder to reveal a bra strap and laughs maniacly as Mat Freaks>

:flash:

Now...what Queen of Altara would be complete without her son???

I appoint Omi to the rank of Beslan

BESLAN!!!...MOTHER NEEDS YOU!!!

<continues bellowing until Beslan comes in>

actually...I am using this time to sleep...tis late!!!

I think you forget where you are my dear. This is MY Arena and you are but a simple guest.

*Watches as Beslan comes tripping in*

"Yes, mother!!! I am here!!! "

*turns to Beslan*


"Beslan, you must leave us alone. Your mother and I are having a quarrel that will almost certainly end with both of us throwing caution to the wind and engaging in unbridled love making so you can just leave."

"Oh." He looks at both of them and grins. "I like thinking of you two having sex."

"ummmm, that's great. Now leave."

*Watches as Beslan turns and leaves grinning from ear to ear*


What a knob.


Anyway...

*turns back to Merin*

now where were we?...

Wait...

is this pre or post Seanchan invasion???

<waits>

no answer???...my pick!!!

Tis post Seanchan invasion!!!

I have a secret weapon!!!

<pull Tuon out of her back pocket and sets her in front of the grinning Mat>

Tsk, mat...what would your WIFE say to you making wild passionate love to another...OLDER woman???

It was simply a strategic tactic my dear.

I am sick of you trying to bring in people to fight your battles for you.

*raises right arm with index finger extended*

*watches as two guards appear and escort TDONM from the arena*

*turns back to Merin and twirls his spear (that sounds dirty)*


Care to try again?...

You know...I'd just like everyone to know that my above post was my 666th one :flash:

Anyway

fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine...

<yanks her marriage knife from out of the wall and begins to trim her unlacquered fingernails with it>

The problem with Pretties is that they often think themselves worthy of being above their station.

You are my toy, lil duckling...and therefore subject to my rules...


whatever the game :naughty:

I cannot fight you with the sword or staff...I am handy with this "decoration" but since I haven't used it in the past 10 years outside of foreplay...I doubt my skill with that too...

So...I shall have to find other tactics...

<pulls out a large book and sits down on her throne>

I was flipping through the Pretty's Parlor magazine and found the most SCRUMPTIOUS looking suit for you, duckling...

lots of lace...

and it's bright red...


with pink stripes


and a BOW!!!...yellow of course...

:rolleyes:


*brings spear to bear and immediately shreds the annoying magazine to little pieces*

Ok you don't seem to get the picture.

*Slashes with great precision and cuts Merin's dress/bra strap near the right shoulder causing it to fold down and expose her bear shoulder.*

My, what lovely shoulders you have my dear...

:|


Mr. Cauthon...I am not nearly drunk enough to entertain such advances

Actually, consider it a kick in the butt.....

you called? :ninja:

No. Now go away or I shall be forced to taunt you.

your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries :mwaha:

You are tis but a mere scratch on my hindquarters. Oooooooooooo, medievel put downs. This could be fun.

I once wrote an excellent shakespearean insult...my professor loved it...

:(

but now i can't remember it...

It had something to do with smelling like a pig inside your mother's belly :(

Why would you want to smell like a pig inside my mother's belly. And by the way, if your professor was laughing then you are a certified geeknerd.

Now defend yourself......!!

**Pops her head in to check out the action**

My goodness gracious me! This is far too steamy for my virgin eyes!

**Pops out until the heat dies down a bit**

Hey, wait a second....

**Pops her head back in to make an observation**

Merin my dear sweet Queen of Altara, if this is Post Seanchan invasion, shouldn't you be, well, gholemed?

THANKS OORLA!!!

I haven't READ Crossroads yet :mad: :rant:

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:



That was hilarious.

<kicks some general butt as yet another testament to her awesomeness>

That was weak.

*Slaps Merin around a bit*

Quit posting for the sake of posting and come ON!!!


With FEELING this time!!!!

Oh alright...

<looks around for inspiration on how to best devestate Mat>

What was my weapon again???

you were doing your Queen Tylin act.