Well, another new year dawned brightly over the Cookie Cabinet's glistening horizon and with a charmingly innocent yearning, the denziens of the Cabinet made it known that they were deeply desirous of another episode of the world-famous:

UNCLE GHOSTIE'S STORY TIME!!!

...The crowd was gathering early this year and Uncle Ghostie knew that he was going to have to keep the masses under control from the start. He cleared out the center of the room in the Cookie Cabinet basement and settled down into his favorite storytelling chair, a classic rocker.

Rocking back he began to concentrate and focus. Mental discipline was the key to first-rate storytelling after all.

Before Uncle Ghostie could completley enter the storytelling 'Zone' however, he was accosted by two young, lively (and quite firm) feminine forms that begin climbing eagerly onto his lap.

"Uncle Ghostie!" Merin cooed, "Are you going to dandle us on your knee this year, Uncle Sexy, ...errr...Ghostie???"

"Yeah." Colleen simpered, "Read us a SCARY one...As long as you PROTECT us, Uncle Ghostie!"

The Unlce squeezed the two adorable kiddos and chuckled good-naturedly. "Don't I ALWAYS protect you two? Aren't I always the one you come running to for comfort, guidance...wisdom?"

As their eyes filled with stars, Uncle Ghostie winced and attempted to shift his weight. "There's ah, just one thing I need," he said. "If you two could perhaps take a seat in the audience, it would allow me to stretch out a bit and really get focused on my storytelling."

A look of utter anguish crossed their little faces. "We won't be separated from you for one second, Uncle Ghostie!!!" Merin's plea brought tears to the Uncle's eyes and Colleen nodded her fierce agreement.

Just as he was about to protest, Uncle Ghostie noticed a slightly unsteady-on-his-feet character come ambling in through the back door. As heads turned, Merin's eyes doubled in size. If stars had filled them before, all the moons and all the suns in the universe joined them at the sight of Ace.

As she went to smother the newcomer with kisses, Uncle Ghostie was left with one tough challenge remaining.

Colleen was still dandling on his left knee, an expression of supreme bliss on her face, and time was running out.

She had completely cut off the circulation in that particualr leg!

Would this be the end of Uncle Ghostie???

Would his leg be saved? Or would he soon be a pegleg? (It would go with the pirate's outfit and parrot he already wore on random occassions to daycares around the city)

Would the story so many clamored for ever be told???

Tune in next time to another exciting chapter of:

*Drum roll*

UNCLE GHOSTIE'S STORY TIME!!!

:sick:


:\

Been taking those painkillers again, eh??? :P

You KNOW you love it!

You love it!

You wanna GROOOOOOOVE to it!

Dance babycakes, DANNNNNNNNNCE!

:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:



GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL


:rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:


The girls reactions alone were worth the nausea...

ahhhh painkillers

*Bumps and Grinds the long-lost, long-missed Santaria* :D

Does that mean you will include me in a story?? You can bump and grind me some more if you like.

Now THAT'S a deal! :D

Watch it, Ghost. She's not your type....she's legal.

MWHAHAAHAH!!! :rocknroll:

What's with all the R-rated posts as of late :ohwell:

Come on baby, give daddy some sugar!

Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a twelve gauge double barreled Remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart. Ya got that?! Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me... Ya!

Why was my post deleted? :(

What post?

The one that was between Ace's and (now) yours)

:(

Maybe EZ Board ate it...

It was witty, it was charming, it was delightfully savy, with gentle humor, traces of sharp intellect and just a hint of a keen insight, poking fun gently, while based in staggering levels of compassion...in short, it was everything you've come to expect from a GhostPost :D

:( More Lies!!!

probably just a desperate denial of his fascination with the Olson Twins :hmm:

I didn't delete anything :blink:

but I have to point this out: invisionfree/=EZboard

The only post that I deleted recently was one of Ace's.


Let's just say it was naughty...

Naughty? You must be mistaken. It couldn't have been Ace...

:cry:

Ch 2

As the crowd continued to file in, Uncle Ghostie, beloved patriarch, master storyteller and - above all - friend to all - tried mightily to concentrate on his storytelling, yet faced the stiff challenge of removing a seven foot, two inch young woman from the knee that she happily dandles upon.

"Uh, Colleen, I've got to get this story started or this crowd is going to turn ugly. You know how the common folk get when they don't get their quality Uncle Ghostie time."

Anguish filled the young lasses eyes. "Uncle Ghostie, Don't set me aside like some common trollup! I couldn't bare it!"

Gently brushing a tear from the spritely young woman's cheek he spoke softly. "Dear Colleen, I would never consider you a common trollup, but I have a responsibility that has been thrust heavily upon my shoulders. In short, I have a story that must be told."

Sweat was now popping out on Uncle Ghostie's face and he was shaking. It wasn't just that he could now no longer feel his leg, it was also partially due to the ecstacy he always felt when he was about to tell a story...or about to put on his cd of oldies and buggy down to the 'cabbage patch' or the 'running man'

He was saved from having to be a bit more forceful with the lass bya pair of strong arms lifting her from his lap and setting her on her feet a few spaces away.

"Matrim Cauthon!" Uncle Ghostie exclaimed with relief.

Colleen's cheeks were red as the Mars landscape as she rounded on Matrim. "No man lays hands on me Buster!...But, considering it was YOU, Matrim..."

A smoky look appeared in her eyes and she began to advance on the hapless Matrim who began to back warily away until he suddenly tripped and fell, crumbling into a heap on top of...

"Merin! Ace!"

"Don't mind us, Mates!" Ace, grinning hugely, stated, "It's not the first compromising postion I've been found in!"

Merin only looked on, looking a bit flushed, and...dizzy.

Throughout it all, Uncle Ghostie's ire began to slowly build. He had a story to tell!

But would he ever get the chance to tell it?

Find out next time in:

UNCLE GHOSTIE'S STORY TIME!!!

:cringe:

They're gonna kill you, Ghost.

































:rollin:

Excuse me? Seven feet and two inches?!?!?! What crap is that?

To say nothing of the rest of it. :rant2: :mad: :cry: :blink: :sick:

*Bows* :D

I think the girls liked it...

The grim truth: uncle ghostie's subliminal pr0n message

that's right, kids. you can look through this seemingly harmless tale and find very questionable imagery burried in the most innocent of places :scared:

Trust me...the language is intentional...

"that was my point, Merin dear," omichyron replied stiffly. "I just realized that despite how fond of spending time with uncle ghostie I may be, some of the things he was spouting were getting just a little bit... off"

*Grins hugely at Merin*

:scared:

I hearby declare this story smut and demand that I be removed from it!!!!

Down in Front! You have not been recognized to speak!!!!!! :rant2:

I see you do not believe me. This calls for more drastic action.

Keeping it PG (cos heavens knows, we can't imply that Ace and his g/f have 'relations'), Mat, please kiss my tush.

With the comments that you made in the one I deleted you were definetly flying solo if you know what I mean..........;)



oh, and no thanks. I'm good.

Y'sure?