Balkans News Network Reports:

The Mostarvian Government is reportedly demanding an explanation from Zahumlje and Edessia after what it says were 'armed Zahumlje and Edessian nationals attacked Mostarvian forces in Srebnyia.'

A Mostarvian Military spokesman said that all the attackers were killed outright and their bodies had documents on them relating to Zahumlje or Edessian nationality.

"I think an explanation is in order as to how this came to be." said Presidential hopeful Vladovar Vladovic, refusing to turn the matter into a international incident for the time being, preferrring to let people on the street speak for the mind of Mostarvia.

Speaking to people on the streets of Mostar, Mostarvia's capital, we got this reaction:

"You can't trust those Zahumljeans to control their borders, they don't seem to bother!" said a Mostarvian man, "If their monarchial laziness means our soldiers get attacked by terrorists, and if they are not prepared to crack down, I think we should cross the border and do it for them, but above all, for Mostarvia!"

"The Edessians are our mortal enemy alongside the Srebnyians," said an elderly Mostarvian woman, "if you ask me, they had a hand in President Lodovic's murder, and we should annihilate them! I remember what they did at the Mostarvian military parade and so forth! They've always had it in for us, with their attacks, how can we sit back?!"

Excellencies: This is a grave insult to Zahumlje which indeed has one of the strictest Border Control Regimes in the Balkans. We deny any Zahumljani connection to these people. There are elements in the Mostarvian government who do not like Zahumlje. So they make groundless accusations.
Further accuastions of this nature will not be tolerated.
Zahumlje has taken strong, indeed deadly action against Srebenijan terrorists who have attempted operations on Zahumljani soil. The attitude of Mostarvia is peculiar. We have to wonder what sort of government they have. It seems internal control in Mostarvia is weak actually. We suggest they look in the mirror before starting nonsense with their neighbors.
Imam Hodza Nasrudin
Foreign Ministry Zahumlje

We are strictly against Srebnyian terrorists, but we suspect in news published by Mostarvian goverment. Zahumlje and Edessia are our friends and we really think that these news are published by Mostarvian goverment because they hate both nations.

Kretia is deeply disturbed by these accusations made by Mostarvia. We deeply doubt Zahumlje's involvement in this situation...she has always been a peaceful nation and has never resorted to violence, especially when it involves infringing borders. We strongly request that Mostarvia look into this matter more deeply before she makes seemingly wild accusations.

Saint Jeanvrin is also disturbed by these accusations. Although we are new to the Balkans, the Zahumlje government was the first to welcome us here with open arms. We believe it is our duty, and our honor to stand behind Zahumlje in this matter, as we believe them to be peace loving people.



King Octave, IV
Saint Jeanvrin

Excellencies: We would like to thank our neighbors for their support. We also would like to make note of something else, Edessia isn't involved EITHER. Edessia has no ties to terrorists.
We do think it's a fact that Mostarvia has a bad internal situation. We don't take advantage of it. We are concerned that their disarray is leading to bad decisions at fairly high levels of their Foreign Ministsry and we hope they can resolve it.
Imam Hodza Nasrudin
Foreign Ministry Zahumlje

We too, like Kretia and Saint Jeanvrin, and very much disturbed, not only by the accusations bieng made, but by what has occured in the Srebnyia region.

We will aid in the defence of any nation, coming under attack, due to baseless accusations. Provide evidence to back up your accusations, or retract them.

Official Mostarvian Government Statement:

I can confirm from intelligence put before me that the terrorists killed in the Srebnyia region of Mostarvia that were foreigners appear to be of Zahumlje and Edessian nationalities, and are muslim, having The Koran on their persons.

I refuse to retract this statement and claim, and again I ask Zahumlje for a full explanation as to how this could be and confront the cold facts before making disgusting comments regarding how the Mostarvian government works.

From what can be gathered, Zahumlje's border and indeed, self control, appear to be lacking on all quarters and fronts.

Edessians being involved does not surprise me or my government and people, as they have always wanted to see the downfall of Mostarvia.

The Mostarvian government, as the government of Demoritus claims, does not hate the Zahumlje government, we simply wish for answers.

These are not wild accusations, these are facts on the ground. Armed Zahumlje and Edessian nationals who attacked Mostarvian forces have been killed, and I demand an explanation from both governments as to how their nationals came to be on our soil.

I and my government refuse to retract these statements.

Acting President of Mostarvia Vladovar Vladovic

Excellencies: Excuse me but there are no Zahumljani dead. Nor are there Edessian dead. The last time anyone crossed the border, it was a Srebenijan who took hostages and was shot.

We aren't the ones with a shooting civil war on our soil. Edessia doesn't have a shooting civil war on it's soil. Mostarvia does.
We suggest that a shooting civil war is an excellent place to get dead bodies, including dead bodies of Muslim people carrying Koran.

Zahumljani Muslims in time of war do not carry individual copies of Koran into battle. Only the Imam for each military division does so. This is to avoid situations of the Koran falling into hands of k'ufr, or it becoming polluted by the many things present in such situations as a battle field which are unclean.

We do not have in Zahumlje organizations of Muslim heretic extremists.

Our government is so constituted that such people have no cause to exist. Muslims in Zahumlje have a geographical area where the law is Shar'ia, and they have their own courts for civil matters elsewhere in Zahumlje.

They have Istocna Sandzak.

There have been strong statements against misbehaviors of any one Muslim in Zahumlje toward any foreign government.

Zahumlje arrested and expelled Arab foreigners who came to try to aid the Srebenijans. Zahumlje has a very strong regime of border control. It is not possible for foreigners to just move willy-nilly about in Zahumlje setting up private armies or any of that hugger-bugger.

In my capacity as Ulema al Reis I have personally issued a fatwa against the leadership and participants in the situation in Mostarvia.
Remember that to me this is very personal issue. The rebels tried to assasinate me for proclaiming them heretics and rebels.

The time has come for Mostarvia to settle it's own internal affairs.

Zahumlje has offered to help Mostarvia do this and has suggested a possible solution. One which has worked perfectly well in Zahumlje.

Namely set up an autonomous area, allow the basics of Shar'ia in that area and only handle external affairs.

This worked in Zahumlje and has worked well for other multiethnic nations with a large Muslim presence.

It doesn't threaten the ultimate security of Zahumlje to do this and would not affect the ultimate security of Mostarvia to follow this example.

The precedent of semi-autonomous areas is one of considerable utility in many nations to this day. Zahumlje has them, and back in the old days, when it worked well, Yugoslavia had two such areas.

Imam Hodza Nasrudin
Foreign Minister Zahumlje
Reis al Ulema

Official Mostarvian Government Statement:

The bodies of the foreign nationals killed are that of 20 Zahumlje nationals and 10 Edessian nationals.

Until the governments recognise these facts instead of denying them in paper thin story making and rightfully apologise and acknowledge the truth, The Army of The People's Red Mostar Union of Mostarvia remains on DEFCOM 2, and as such, a sizeable portion of The Army of The People's Red Mostar Union of Mostarvia is now moving closer towards the border with Zahumlje for advanced security operations.

Acting President of Mostarvia Vladovar Vladovic


Balkans News Network Reports:

We are recieving unconfirmed reports that Mostarvian and Zahumlje border guards are exchanging insults and mooning each other sections of the border that dvides Mostarvia and Zahumlje.

We recommend both Mostarvia and Zahumlje to refrain from making inflammatory statements that keep the situation tense. It would be much better if these two countries deal with this very serious issue through "silent" diplomacy.

Excellencies: Zahumlje stands ready to attend the conference in PeZ. We hope very much that Mostarvia will take this opportunity as well to discuss matters in a neutral setting.
Imam Hodza Nasrudin
Foreign Minister Zahumlje
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Office of Chief of Staff Royal Army of Zahumlje: Any soldiers caught in the act of 'mooning' or insulting the soldeirs stationed on the border with Mostarvia will be punished by loss of pay and the privelege of family leave in the city of Mali Ston. In plain words 'No day at the beach for YOU if you do these stupid and unsoldierly acts.
Note to any Zahumljani soldiers of the Muslim faith, There is in fact a hadith against mooning you can look it up and find it in any reliable book of fiqh. it is haram.)It is damned cold in some of the border areas, there is still deep snow, and it's stupid for health reasons as well to moon anyone. Show some class!
Trading insults with the Mostarvians is stupid and provactive behavior. The Mostarvians are not our enemy. We are not at war with them. We do not intend to be at war with them so stop already with the spoiled brat unsoldierly behaviors.
General Sejd Ali Halilovic
Chief of Staff Royal Army of Zahumlje
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***ZNN***Report from the Border: Her Majesty's Government has steadfastly denied any involvement with the incident in Mostarvia. Catagorically they have denied that any terrorists could have crossed over into Mostarvia for several reasons.<cut to film of heavily snowed roads and villages> The area is one of hilly terrain, and it is nearly inaccessable if you do not know the region well.<cut to file footage of fields uncultivated with the yellow warning tape> The border area itself has many areas which are still heavily infested with landmines from the era of the Civil War ten years ago. 'No one including locals who participated can be entirely sure where are the landmines in some fields because the landmines 'migrate' if there is heavy rain, or there is snow which melts. In fact a common m ethod of demining is to set a place on fire, because it is safer than any other method in the reach of humble peasants. 'Nuredin Arapovic<film showing a typical Zahumljani Muslim peasant farmer>
Most of the peasants in the region are in fact Muslim but not extremists as the presence of several bars which serve alchol and have entertainments rangeing from traditional story tellers to dancers will show. 'Any religion which interferes with my ability to take a shot of rakija before I go out and work in the fields or on a cold morning is a bad religion' Ahmed Turkivic villager in Vukojebina.
actually the locals are frustrated because between heavy snow and the situation on the border they cannot gather for the traditional game of Bushkazi which is a favorite game in the mountains.
Games are usually between villages in Zahumlje only. The game used to be popular as well in Mostarvia but since the Srebeniya insurgency there have been no cross border games at all. They were rare even before that.
The Queen used to come north to see the games on occasion, and to participate in falconry and other traditional Zahumljani sports. Now of course this isn't possible for reasons of security, and it has hurt the local economy.
'I don't know why anyone in Mostarvia thinks people in Zahumlje want a war or problems with Mostarvia. The Srebeniyan rebels are SCUM to start with. They aren't good Muslims they oppress their women and they were poor sports, who wants to help them?'Irfan Hodzic 'Yeah besides no games is no turism and when the Court doesn't come north it really HURTS the local economy.' Zijad Vukovic.
<cut to aerial film of the snowed in fields, villages and mountain passes>
At a R.A.Z. base in an undisclosed border location: <film of the check point> 'Welcome ZNN to our base, Private Suleijmanovic will take you around.' 'Thanks'.
Mostly what we see are tired, cold soldiers. They go and stand guard for awhile and then come in and warm up in the recreation area or go sleep. Mostly they drink endless cups of strong Zahumljani coffee and eat some chocolate before going back out to pull guard duty. There is no village close to the base. 'The nearest villages are Vukojebina and Mokraguzica this here Sir is what is called a 'total NFZ' 'What does NFZ stand for?' 'No Fun Zone' We totally have no fun here.'
Well there is a jukebox in the rec center, loaded up with turbofolk, some old prewar tunes by of all people Ceca, there's Atomik Harmonik and there of course are new tunes by Masakr, Crvena Magla and old school sevdelike by Bulbul, and an amazing collection of old vinyl records in a box labed 'Americki Hilbilij Musika' which belonged to a legendary previous base commander Zelko 'Rednek' Klaric.' Base commander Klaric lived and worked in America many years and sent these records home one by one to his parents who saved them for him. He went home to do national service in RAZ after the war and he used to wake the base up with loud American music.'<film of the base radio station>'Sometimes the locals call in and request we play some of this music!'

We condemn Mostarvia for their performance. Offensive interjection performed here must be made accountable.

We support Zahumlje and the other nations' stance on this ideological battle constructed by provocateur, Mostarvia.

INVITATION EXTENDED – “NOW WE WAIT” SAYS RUPENSKA
27 March 2005 – PeZ – (ANS) Prime Minister Rupenska extended an invitation to Edessia today, to also attend a Peace Conference in PeZ with Zahumlje and Mostarvia.

“We have not heard from Mostarvia yet,” said the Prime Minister, “and so we wait. We appreciate Zahumlje's quick response, and also the offer from Erzen -- we would certainly welcome the capable assistance of Minister Lembas.”

Asked about the wisdom of having the conference at this time, given the apparent intractability of the proposed participants, Rupenska was thoughtful. “Emotions are running high. Feelings and national pride have been injured. No one seems to have any doubts, and I think this is the road to disaster. I think that we in the Balkans realize by now that there are no unsinkable ships, no sure things – and thus, statements from all sides, proclaiming undeniable unassailable facts, are greeted by widespread skepticism.”

“We believe, however, that this conference will provide the opportunity for the nations in question to move past the specific instance, to move towards a regional accord on issues of terrorism. There will be peace, if the nations want peace. We feel sure that the people of the Balkans want peace and prosperity. It is up to their Governments to find that path.”

Official Mostarvian Government Statement:

I am aware that Zahumlje expresses it does not want war, however, I can not stress more that border controls on the Zahumlje side of the border must be tightened, to prevent any futher incident of foreign nationals crossing from Zahumlje into Mostarvia to attack Mostarvian soldiers and civillians.

Due to security situations within my nation, I shall not personally attend the meeting proposed, instead sending my fellow Mostarvian Presidential candidate Major General Natasha Menetskovic on behalf of Mostarvia.

I warn the Kingdom of Slavpo not to speak about what it knows little of, because it makes them appear rather foolish and dim-witted.

Acting President of Mostarvia Vladovar Vladovic

We also condemn Mostarvia for provoking yet another regional crisis. We hope that the reason will prevail and there will be peace. In case of Mostarvia will make any aggression against Zahumlje or Edessia, we are ready to offer them both military and financial support.

PEACE TALKS IN JEOPARDY
29 March 2005 - PeZ – (ANS) Prime Minister Noyra Rupenska today said that the proposed PeZ Peace Parlay is in danger. “ It is not for me to say the talks are off,” Rupenska said. “However, it remains to be seen whether Zahumlje will be interested in participating. Given the absence and attitude of the Mostarvian acting President Vladovic, it is difficult to see how a conference would be successful.”

Edessia has observed this development in silence for quite soemtime, what others think of my lack of activity as laziness, is actually watchful and silent activity. We deplore Mostarvia's claims to the point of Human Rights infringements. You had no idea who those people were, whether they were the clandestine group known as "Angels of Death" that we know little about, though Edessia would know more had you not thrown us out. Or they could be of Zahumljani and Edessian descent, but you didnt know until you inspected the bodies after opening up on civlians! In a civil country, protestors and agitators arent shot until the alst resort, not the first resort, there are many things you can do to stop attackers, before resorting to lethal force. That is why, Zahumlje and Edessia, formally wish to take the current Mostarvian regime to BICJ, and sue them for all there worth. Perhaps, if more dirt is found about the alleged human rights infringements in Mostarvia, perhaps the Region shall officially recognize Srebniya...who knows what waits int he wings. We want a formal and extensive trial set up against Mostarvia!

Excellencies: First of all thank you to the President of Tolomakia for your support at this time. We very much hope war can be avoided, but we are very glad to know that we have good neighbors and friends in this region!

We again urge Mostarvia to send someone of appropriate rank, that is to say the President, and a General Staff officer as part of their Delegation. We are going to be present with both our Foreign Minister, and General Sejid Ali Halilovic so that talks can be concluded at the highest level, without delays caused by things like not opperating at the highest level of authority. If Mostarvia is not willing to give the talks the seriousness they merit, well that is going to be their problem.
Oh incidentally we are bringing forensic experts from Tuzla. For those not in the know about matters like exhumations, the forensics team there is the best in the field.
Katarina of Zahumlje

Fellow Brothers,

Due to recent actions by Mostarvia, we would also request a full inquiry to be taken to the BICJ given their actions in dealing with their internal strife as we no longer believe Mostarvia is capable/willing to deal with it in a civilized manner.

We prefer not to speculate on recognizing Srebniya as a sovereign political entity until their claims of human rights violations are validated, if they exist. Although that alone is not necessarily a valid reason for certain peoples to succeed from a nation. Perhaps when we regain confidence in the Mostarvian government, they can hold a referendum on whether or not Srebniya should be allowed to carve out its own destiny along with allowing political observers to ensure the true will of the peoples prevail.

Minister of Foreign Relations
George Poulopoulos

His all Holiness, Bartholomew, Archbishop of Constantinople, New Rome and Enumenical Patriarch

We Would like to send HRH King Raymond Sirius to the peace talks, while HRH King Balthazar Andrews is at home, ruling the country, its handy having two monarchs, really, it is. We want a civil meeting and hopefully we can finally conclude something there. Oh also, I hope you dont mind, but were having some of our forensic experts to tag along with Zahumlje's, as expert observers of their work. We would definately like an inquiry, which is what I wanted this whole time, to see what is going on, and due to the recent news of the explosions, we seem to believe that in fact Mostarvia is losing control, who knows, 'control' is a relative term in this case. anyway, we would agree with Slavic Byzantium, that a full inquiry is neccessary.

MOSTARVIAN NATIONALS ARRESTED AT BORDER
31 March 2005 – PeZ – (ANO) Annoyastani Border Security forces have arrested 12 Mostarvian nationals crossing the border in a wooded mountainous region west of Ronco. A spokesman for Annoyastani Security said that the Mostarvians were arrested after a brief firefight in which 3 other Mostarvians and one Security officer were killed. “The individuals possessed automatic weapons and a considerable amount of c-4 plastic explosive. They were spotted crossing the border at about 2 in the morning, and were apprehended about a mile into Annoyastani territory. After being arrested, they claimed to be tourists.”

GOVERNMENT EXTENDS CONDOLENCES TO MOSTARVIAN CITIZENS
PeZ – (ANO) Minister of Truth Kellocz today expressed the condolences of the Annoyastani people and Government towards the families affected by the recent storm of violence in Mostarvia.

The United Socialist States of Makharovsk condemns the actions of Mostarvia in this matter, and demands that this issue be brought before the BICJ for a full investigation.

OFFICIAL MOSTARVIAN GOVERNMENT:

The BICJ has no jurisdiction over The People's Red Mostar Union of Mostarvia, as The People's Red Mostar Union of Mostarvia did not sign up to it.

Besides, nothing wrong has been commited.

So there.


President of Mostarvia Vladovar Vladovic

We hardly see ethnic cleansing as 'nothing wrong'.

OFFICIAL MOSTARVIAN GOVERNMENT STATEMENT

There is no ethnic cleansing. There is however, a cleansing of terrorists.

President of Mostarvia Vladovar Vladovic

Surely, that should be decided by independent sources, not government ones.

OFFICIAL MOSTARVIAN GOVERNMENT STATEMENT

Don't call me Surely.

And independent sources are whom exactly?

Journalists and organisations from nations who wish war to be declared on Mostarvia? Corrupt to the core in spreading propoganda against Mostarvia, paid to do so by whom it would benefit to see such propoganda?


President of Mostarvia Vladovar Vladovic

Fellow Brothers,

I imagine there must be at least one neutral nation in this entire region. If not, Sweden and Switzerland have both enforced neutrality and refuse to take any sides. We could appeal to them for truly unbiased media and mediators. If we in fact cnanot locate suitable nations in The Balkans, then we may try the above mentioned nations.

Minister of Foreign RElations
George Poulopoulos