Got this in an email earlier...friggin' hilarious. xD

My nephew brought home a revised version of a popular Christmas story that he received at school. It's now a politically correct Christmas story, so that it doesn't offend anybody, and anybody anywhere can enjoy it.

The story formerly known as "T'was the Night Before Christmas" has now become...

"T'was the Night Before a Nondenominational Winter Holiday"

I decided to read a few pages:

"T'was the night before a nondenominational winter holiday when all through the house, not a creature was stirring; not even a mouse.

The neutral gift sacks were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that a non-specific holiday figure would soon be there.

Children of every race, trait, and nationality were resting all snug in their beds while visions of sugar free plums danced in their heads.

When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, I got up out of bed to see what was the matter and to see who was violating the neighborhood civil ordinance.

But what in my wondering eyes did appear; but in an emission's free vehicle and eight size-challenged reindeer.

Holiday Figure was so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be...Holiday Figure.

He had a broad but normal face and an advanced-sized belly and he laughed "Lady of the evening, lady of the evening, lady of the evening!"

What in the world? You can even say "Ho ho ho!" anymore! What kind of commy crap is this? I don't care who you are: His name is Santa Clause, and he cracks beer open with a horsewhip, breaks into people's houses, drinks rum and egg nog and looks like Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazzard. End of story!

That last bit cracked me up...XD...Rather funny I must say...