Warning: This is only an episode/update thread. Only Elza or Katrak may post here. If you want to comment on the following episode/s. Head over to the teh AT: Discussion thread.


{Disclaimer:} This is to assert that all names, characters, events and whatnot in this piece o' literature are simply coincidental, fictitious and not intended to portray any person living or dead. No profit is being made from this so if anything, no copyright infringement is intended. (Okay, it's loosely base on AT but what the heck, it ain't true yo so don't be offended and go emo on us if you find what's happening completely out of this world.)

Episode 1: N00B ATTACK!
Have you ever experienced extreme insanity? Well, this kid didn't know he had it coming! And I would say more why this is so but that's not going to be fun. For now let's just say he's your typical young adolescent, searching for his place in the world, and sometimes his socks. Obviously there's no need for this random guy, but we had to start somewhere, and you'll be wasting the next 5 minutes, depending on how fast you read, reading about a non-existent fellow that may actually exist in all of us. Aww, doesn't that bring nostalgia? I hope not. I certainly hope no such feeling ensues or else you'll get bored, and believe me, WE don't want that! So anyway, before I trail off any further, I will tell you the original introduction. Don't go emo; I'm the narrator. I have the friggin' control so laaaaaay off.

Moving on.... Young man SPONGE dreams for a better world, M&Ms, Tifa's big puppies (Oh. Come. On! We know you're thinking it!), long walks on the beach and raping kittens. Ok, the last part was merely for my amusement. You can raise that jaw now. Soooo, it all happens one day, blah blah, whatever it is you young'ins are doing, is what SPONGE was probably doing as well. After which, he decides to take a walk in the oh so wonderful forest-like world that is his backyard. Out of nowhere, he comes upon a Kinkajou, heading for a nearby bush about to do God-knows-what. It notices him and begins to run off. Obviously, the understandable thing to do is follow the damn thing. Not surprising, right? I mean, ANYONE would wanna follow something as cute and cuddly as a little exotic monkey that is faaaaar from it's place of origin and probably carrying diseases and rabies. Heh.

Dumb move kid, I say -- but hey, I'm merely telling the story here so don't blame me. And thus, the not-so-long chase begins until the little fella decides to stop by a peculiar looking tree, deep in the forest. Uh-oh! Guess what happens next...

No, the Tomb Raider chick doesn't appear. You little fanboys, you! SPONGE thinks his little kinkajou buddy got tired, so he makes his move on it when suddenly....

*BRIGHT LIGHT o' DOOM* {cue in teh AT theme}

SPONGE opens his eyes to chick in a cheerleader suit. She pokes him in the eye after they trail off to the sign above her: N00B ATTACK St.
Sponge: Ouch! Was that necessary???
Cheerleader Chick: Heeeeey! Welcome to Angel Tide! I'm Rouge! ^_^
Sponge: Uh...angel tide?
Cheerleader Chick/Rouge: Yeeeees. ^_^
Sponge: ...
Rouge: Duh. Didn’t you see? “teh AT” A is angel and T is guess what?^_^
Sponge: ....
Rouge: [ignores Sponge's puzzled look] So...your name is Sponge, right?
Sponge: Yeah, how did you know?
Rouge: Everyone knows as soon as you get here! ^_^ lol, you're a funny guy. You ARE a guy, right? ._. I mean, with a name like Sponge and all...
Sponge: Y-yeah. And uh..by 'everyone', you mean who, exactly?
Rouge: The others, of course!
Sponge: The others?

Just as the words left our so-called hero's mouth, another person appeared before them. Dressed in strange dark clothing, and seemingly deprived of sleep, the guy (or was it a girl? Sponge couldn't really tell at first!) continued his/her slow stride toward them. Sponge looked to Rouge for guidance, who beamed at the person that was now standing before them.

Rouge: Hi Genckt!
Genckt: Hi. He the new guy?
Rouge: Yup! ^_^

Sponge stared blankly at the pair, partly confused as to where this new face had appeared from, and partly unsure how to react to the whole new atmosphere...not to mention the extremely weird names.

Rouge: Aren't you going to introduce yourself? <_<
Genckt: o_O Oh, right. I'm Genckt. Welcome to Angel Tide.
Sponge: Uh..hi. I'm Sponge. Nice to uh..meet you.
Genckt: I know.
Sponge: Oh.
Rouge: Be nice to the newbie! x_x
Genckt: Sorry @_@

Sponge stood in silence for a moment, looking around at his current surroundings. They were standing on a large, seemingly endless stretch of road. Rouge spoke up suddenly, snapping him out of his trance.

Rouge: What's the matter? ;-;
Sponge: Well...How do I put this? I guess I'm um...kinda lost. I don't know where to go.
Rouge: You can go wherever you like!
Sponge: But you see, I...don't know how I got here.
Rouge and Genckt: o_O
Sponge: ...
Genckt: Maybe you should read the fa---
Rouge: Are you kidding? Nobody reads that!
Genckt: Sorry @_@
Rouge: I know! I'll take you to the Community Chat! You can find practically anything and everything there!
Genckt: Except Spam. Well, maybe sometimes. But it gets cleaned up right away.
Sponge: Spam?
Genckt: Yummy stuff! You'll see soon enough.
Rouge: Soooo, off to the Community Chat we goooo! I'm the Tour Guide, of course!
Sponge: Community Chat, huh? All right...Oh!
Rouge: Hm?
Sponge: I thought I just saw...maybe not...
Rouge: Hehehe, you're gonna fit in just fine. I can tell already! ^_^

And so our adventure begins! Just a few thoughts lingered on Sponge’s mind as he walked along the lengthy street known as N00B ATTACK. Why does everyone know his name? Where did the kinkajou run off to? And what the hell is this 'community chat' that Rouge is talking about? Well, one thing's for sure...Sponge's gonna meet some more of Angel Tide's inhabitants there, and whether or not the 'others' are as friendly as his first two encounters is highly debatable!


{end theme}
Created by Elza
Story Written by Katrak :) w/ Elza's participation.
------------------------

And that was it! Now I know how a TV exec feels. :D No, that's not just it. >_> Seriously. This was kinda hard. I want it to be interesting but I'm not sure if it is!
Comments!? We'd love to hear more so we'll know if it doesn't get cancelled. xD

Episode 2: teh Shiela and magical McGuffin man.

Previously on teh AT...
Bright lights don't always mean it's a party. Kinkajous are not from Pokemon. Maybe cheerleaders are really meant only to cheer?!

-----------

So! We have another episode!? You loved the last one didn't you? Sure sure deny it. You're just thirsty for more. If you didn't, I suppose I wouldn't even be here to rub it all over your faces?! Mwahahahaha. Right. I'm not your typical narrator and I love to abuse. But who doesn't, eh?

Anywho, I'm sure you'd like to know what happened to our little SPONGEY-poo. He made a new friend in the form of Rouge. But can he really trust this Rouge girl? Is he in his right mind to allow ANYONE in a cheerleader outfit to show him around such an unfamiliar place? Look out! It's the others!

{cue in teh AT theme}

Sponge: Where... or should I say, what is this place?
Rouge: Community Chat. It's the center of teh AT. I can show you around and all but I can't answer 'all' your questions. O_o Most of the 'others' are here. I'm sure they'll help you out.
Sponge: Others? I don't understand anything.

Sponge was as confused as ever. He asked questions but Rouge dodged all of them and wouldn't stop poking him and saying how beautiful the day was. Even if in fact, it wasn't day... or night... this was a place without time, it seems. He felt, however, as though her outpouring burst of optimism can be quite infectious. That is until, all of a sudden words were uttered out of nowhere. There... in the shadows.

voice in the shadows: So, you're that n00b everyone is babbling about?
The young man wore a black coat with a steely look in his eye.
Sponge: O_o? Huh?
Rouge: Oh Jack! Have you met Sponge?
man called Jack: Rouge... you're ruining my entrance here! [pauses] Ahem... I am Mercenary Jack. Head of the place. If you cause any problem... believe me, I'll be up your ass so high, constipation will actually seem painless!

Yowza. Where is the fire?! Hmm... but who knows, maybe SPONGE has a backbone or some freakishly strong foam within! If not, Jack might just bite his head off.

Sponge: Uh... isn't it a good day? *pokes*
Mercenary Jack: ... [glares at Rouge]
Rouge: Isn't it a wonderful day?^_^
Mercenary Jack: .... [fumes]
Sponge: What the... are you mad at me for some reason? Don't you notice....

Rounge suddenly begins a song and dance number with flips and... and pompoms that I have no idea she had hidden somewhere. It's a nice day... it seems... as she insists!

Rouge: Move over yeah yeah yeah. This day....
Mercenary Jack: Do I seem mad? You just got here. You don't even know who I am.... I'm-- I'm.... [ignores Rouge's singing]
Rouge: la la la la la! Day. Oh. Wonderful you are...!!!^_^
random girl: [appears out of nowhere] Hey now Jack my dear. This is not going to be another power play for you, is it?
Rouge: [stops singing] Aww come on now. No fighting! Sponge just got here and he deserves a tour! But these complicated questions... O_o
Mercenary Jack: [interrupts Rouge] Look I'm very busy. I don't have the time to tour you around... but if you have any questions or concerns about the place, you're free to come to me.... [voice trails off]
[Rouge continues dancing this time]
Sponge: Well. I was just wondering if you could... [notices that Jack already left while the random girl is right at his face]
random girl: Don't mind him. He's actually very sweet.
Rouge: SOS. You always save the day!^_^
Sponge: Eh? Is something wrong? Why are you calling for help?O.o
SOS: [whispers] Not a very bright one, I see. [whispers] Hi. I'm Sassed Out Shilla. You can call me illa or sassed out or whatever. People mostly call me SOS though. [feigns a smile]
Sponge: Oh... uh, I'm Sp--
Sassed Out Shilla: Yes yes, I know. I don't think you need to tell us who you are. Our names are practically plastered on our foreheads here!
Sponge: ... [even more confused. who wouldn't with all the rubbish right now!]
Rouge: SOS, what happened to Jack? O_o
Sponge: I don't think anyone's going to answer since she's gone too.
Rouge: Oh well, those guys. I think we should just gooo!
Sponge: Um... where?
Rounge: Where the sun shines brighter than ever! Off to Advice Column and Suggestions room of course. Laaa!^_^

They would have made another step if it weren't for another the appearance of the Kinkajou, in all its furry goodness right in the middle of Community Chat, where in fact, no one was actually Chatting. Nobody was around with the exception of Mercenary Jack, who seemed rather smarmy; appearing and then disappearing all of a sudden. And that sassed out chick. Freaky shiznit is all I can say! Without a word, Sponge hurries to it. Yet life is not going to be easy. Think about it. If Sponge reached the Kinkajou, it's the end of the story. I'll be sorely unemployed and that is not fun! Hence, I shall cut this short. Just wonder! Will Rouge ever stop babbling about the non-existent beauty of the day? Will they even get to the Advice Column and Suggestions room? What if the Kinkajou pees on SPONGE? Will I stop bitchin'? Tune in!

{end theme}
Created by Elza
Story Written by Elza.
---------------------

Ok, that was pretty short and well I'd just like to remind everyone that at this point we're introducing characters... nothing big but hey, new characters!

Episode 3: The flames of Cleriantomi. -Is that some kinda disease?

Previously on teh AT...
The kinkajou is a goddamn furry version of houdini. The community chat isn't all that chatty, and people disappearing instantaneously is apparently...normal?!

-----------

Soooo..here we are at EPISODE 3(Part 1!) Amazingly released one week after the second episode. Could it be that yours truly is ORGANIZED? Naaaaah.

Well, two new weird faces were introduced last time, and after a very brief chat, Jack and SOS disappeared into thin air (does AT have air? o_O) our reluctant hero SPONGE is being whisked away to the 'place where the sun shines the brightest' or whatever the hell that Rouge chick was going on about: The Advice Column and Suggestions room. Hopefully he'll be able to get some questions answered about things at this "Advice Column" place...but as we've seen so far, nothing really goes as planned in this story.

...or does it? Mwahahaha. This chapter is gonna be really long! (thus why we're gonna have it in two big chunks!) So sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the ride! ON WITH THE STORY!

{cue in teh AT theme}

Sponge: It feels like we've been walking for ages...are we there yet?
Rouge: Almost!
Sponge: How much further away is this advice place anyways?
Rouge: Oh, just about four blocks north of the Community Chat. ^_^
Sponge: And just how big is an AT block?
Rouge: Hm, I don't know. All depends on the traffic, I suppose!

Sponge looked around. He didn't see much of anything. Just more endless stretches of road and a deep blue sky. He started to wonder how long he had been in Angel Tide. He hadn't even thought to keep track. Of course, the idea hadn't even crossed his mind that he would be stuck this long. Now not only did he not know where exactly he was, he didn't know when he was. Endless roads and blue skies..."Does AT even have a day and night cycle?" He wondered.

Rouge: Aha! We're here! ^_^

Sponge looked ahead of him to find Rouge standing next to a big odd-shaped door that read above it "The Oracle Knows All".

Sponge: Oracle?
Rouge: Yup! Cleriantomi sees and knows all that there is going on in Angel Tide!
Sponge: Clara-whaa?
Rouge: Cleriantomi, silly! She's the Oracle, and she's very wise!
Sponge: What a big, complicated name. Is she really that wise?
Rouge: Yup! She knows everything!
Sponge: Wow! I wonder if she'll know how I got here...or about the kinkajou!
Rouge: Isn't it exciting? Let's go inside!
Sponge: Okay!

Despite the enormous size of the door, Rouge opened it with ease, and walked on in. Sponge followed quickly in suit, very anxious to see this 'Clerian-whats-her-face' oracle. Rouge proceeded to call out to someone in the far back of the room.

Rouge: Hi Clare!

There was a moment of silence before Sponge heard an echoing response coming from the back of the rather long reaches of the advice room.
Cleriantomi Hello Rouge.

As they continued walking, Sponge looked down the path to find none other than the Oracle herself: Cleriantomi. Cleriantomi was a fairly short girl with long pigtails and small square glasses. She looked up at the two of them from behind what appeared to Sponge as a booth of some sort. A large white banner supported up high by two long wooden poles read "Ye Olde Advice Column" just above her in a script font. "Clare", as Rouge called her, appeared to be a very angry person to Sponge. Clare seemed to just want to glare at poor ol' Sponge, and it was making him feel somewhat uncomfortable, and a little upset...totally stripping him of his deliriously happy mood from before he walked in the door. He decided to stare back at the Clare with an equally cold stare.

Rouge(whispering): I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Sponge(whispering): Huh? Why not?
Rouge: Well, there's this rumor going around...
Sponge: A rumor?
Rouge: Yeah...some people seem to believe that Clare is plotting to have world domination and wants to destroy someone!
Sponge: Are you serious?! Who? ._.,,,
Rouge: I'm not sure who, actually. Like I said, it's just a rumor...but still, I would be careful what you say or do around her!
Sponge: O-okay...I'll be more careful from now on. o_o;
Rouge: Good. Now let's go introduce you! ^_^

Rouge's excitement and bright smile made Sponge feel much better, even though there was a possibility that this Oracle lady might be a serial killer, or something worse- if that's even possible! The thought totally left his mind as they came upon the booth of the Advice Room.

Clare: Sponge, is it? What is it you want with me? And make it quick; I have a meeting to attend at the lookout, and if I'm late one more time, that Mercenary fellow is going to have my job >__>
Sponge: Oh..um..okay. I was wondering if you could tell me how I got here.
Clare: How you got here?
Sponge: Yeah...how I ended up here in Angel Tide.
Clare: Are you implying that you don't know how you came here? o_O
Sponge: Yeah, I guess so.
Clare: What a ridiculously easy question. You should know the answer to that. You came here willingly, just as every other resident did.
Sponge: ...I did?
Clare: You walked into that light, did you not?
Sponge: Yeah, but I never knew I would-
Clare: Are there anymore questions? I'm in quite the rush, I just remembered I need to do a few errands before my meeting...
Sponge: Oh, right. Have you seen a kinkajou, and do you know where I could find it?

Suddenly, a familiar face appeared from behind one side of the booth.

Genckt: I like kinkajous. o__o
Sponge and Clare: o_O;
Rouge: Hi Genckt! ^_^
Clare: Erm...(Clare cleared her throat and continued) Kinkajou, you say? Small, furry monkey-looking animal that isn't a monkey at all but instead is a honeybear from the Procyonid family related to bearlike cousins such as racoons, olingos, and red pandas?
Sponge: Wow, she really does know everything!
Rouge: Told ya!
Clare: Hm...come to think of it, I may have seen one in the Archive forest. I actually need to go there before the meeting.
Sponge: The Archive forest? Where's that?
Rouge: It's not too far from here.
Genckt: It's south. We passed it on the way here o__o
Sponge: We did? o_o; I didn't know you were with us...
Genckt: I was right behind you o__o
Rouge: Hee hee, Genckt is always close by!
Sponge: Isn't that...a tad stalker-ish? ._.,
Rouge: Hm...maybe. But I don't mind at all! ^_^
Clare: Yes, yes, charming, isn't it? As I've said before, I need to go places before that meeting. Very short on time, you see, and you're taking up my errand running time. I could've been to the Archive forest by now...
Sponge: The archive forest! I need to go there as well. I have to find that kinkajou! Is there anything I can do for you when I go there? It's the least I could do for the information you've given me!
Rouge: Sponge is such a cool guy. ^_^
Genckt: Am I cool, too...?
Rouge: Shh, the oracle is talking.
Genckt: Sorry @_@
Clare: Ehem..help you say? I suppose you would know how to chop wood...
Sponge: Actually, yes! My dad is a lumberja-
Clare: SILENCE! I am fully aware of your father's occupation, and there is no need for any details! Must I be constantly reminded of that fool throughout the day...?!
Sponge: ._. Did I say something wrong..?
Genckt(whispering): She's got a bit of a um.."Jack" complex.
Sponge(whispering): Oh.
Genckt: I'll tell you about it later. Besides, you didn't have to tell her all that anyways.
Rouge: Remember, I already told you. She knows everything. ^_^
Sponge: My bad...umm..Miss Claritto-"
Rouge and Genckt: Cleriantomi! x_x
Sponge: Right uh..Clerian-
Clare: If you must call me by anything, do call me Clare. And I would appreciate it greatly if you would fetch me some firewood from the Archive Forest. It would be a good lesson for you to learn if you are to be staying here. You might run into something along the way, though...
Sponge: Like the kinkajou? ^_^
Clare: Kinkajou? Err..I was thinking more along the lines of trolls...but perhaps you could find that, too.
Sponge: Trolls...?
Clare: My time with you must be cut short, as I don't want to be running late. Could I ask of you to bring back that firewood for me by tomorrow?
Sponge: Sure! I guess they do have day and night cycles after all!
Clare: Well then, I'll be off now. I'll be expecting you tomorrow.
Sponge: Thanks for all of your help, Clare!
Clare: Oh no no no...thank you for yours. Never would've thought he'd be that easy...heh heh.

After Clare disappeared with a eerie snicker that no one really noticed, a beeping noise was heard, and Sponge could hear Rouge sigh. He turned around to find her with a little device in her hand that was beeping and had a screen that was flashing like mad. She clicked a button, and it stopped, then displayed a message on the screen.

Rouge: Looks like they're at it again, darn them. Why do they always have to pick this time of the day to start torching the Debate Corner?
Sponge: Huh?
Genckt: Trolls. You heard what Clare said, right? We try to keep them locked up in the forest, but sometimes they manage to get out and run amok all over the place. They can get pretty nasty sometimes, and the flames get sky high if you don't get to it fast enough @_@
Rouge: Maaan, looks like I have to go, too. Will you be okay going to the forest by yourself, Sponge? We can meet up there later when I'm finished getting the trolls.
Sponge: I guess that means Genckt is going with you, too, right?
Genckt: Yes o__o
Rouge: Is that alright? I can call someone to take you if you want.
Sponge: It's only a couple blocks south of here, right? I should be able to find it on my own, I suppose.
Rouge: Okay, we'll meet up there then! See you in a few. Just make sure not to wander around too much..it's easy to get lost in there. ^_^
Sponge: Oh, okay.
Genckt: Don't feed the trolls.
Sponge: Okay.


And just like the last time, they had disappeared. Sponge was starting to wonder if that was some sort of trick that all the residents had for when they needed to be somewhere...kinda like a teleport kinda deal for the higher-ups of AT. Whatever it was, he wanted to learn, too. He was tired of walking these seemingly endless roads. It was at least somewhat bareable when he was with Rouge, but alone...it was boring, and lonely. Just when he was feeling anxious, and starting to regret not having Rouge call someone to take him there, he noticed a large chainlink fence that read:

QUOTE

Archive Forest Troll Preservation Burned Acres: 2,930 Trolls: 180

Sponge: Guess this is it...creepy place.

He opened a nearby gate and walked inside, almost immediately seeing that same adorable looking furry creature sitting a few feet away from where he stood.

Sponge: The kinkajou!

Upon being spotted, it ran off into the depths of the forest. Sponge sped off directly after it, not even paying attention to where he was going. He became enveloped the dead trees that were the Archive Forest, and realized soon after he lost sight of the kinkajou and began to walk again, that he was lost.

Sponge: Ahhhh, I don't know where I am now! Rouge warned me not to get lost, and now look at me! T_T

He heard a rustling noise above him, and looked up...

Sponge: AHHHH! GROSS!

The kinkajou pee'd on him from a nearby tree!

Sponge: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! First I get sucked into some strange world, meet a bunch of weirdos, get sent to get firewood...hey, come to think of it..I don't even have an axe or a hatchet...but anyways...then I get lost, and now the stupid thing that got me sucked here in the first place just pee'd on me!

Another rustling noise was heard, and Sponge could see a silhouette just a little ways ahead of him. Raging with fury, Sponge ran after the cute little piss-happy critter that was surely purposely screwing with him. When he caught up with the source of the silhouette, though...he found that it didn't belong to a kinkajou...this was something tall, much taller than a little honeybear. He thought about what the others had told him about trolls. Could this be a troll? He couldn't see the figure very well in the darkness...but he didn't care.

Sponge: Ahhh, SCREW THE TROLLS! How can things possibly get any worse than they already are right now?!

[Mystery Figure]: Heh heh...you ain't seen nothing yet, kiddo. :P
Sponge: ...?!

Oh ho ho! Who is this mysterious figure before Sponge? A troll? Another person? Why did the kinkajou piss on him? And more importantly...what lies ahead for our poor SPONGEY-poo?!

Maybe we ought to ask the Oracle...but that'd be no fun, now would it? She's bitchier than I am!

So I guess this is just another CLIFFHANGER! Stay tuned for Part 2, coming next week, right here on the "TeH AT"!

{end theme}
Created by Elza
Story Written by Katrak (all 3 and half hours of it! xDDD)

Episode 4: Oh noEs! (Part 2 of that other ep)

Previously on teh AT...
Sponge gets pee'd on. And then that guy! Who the hell knows if that's really a story anymore!?

---------------

{cue in teh AT theme}

Sponge: Wha- who are you?!
Mystery figure: I suppose that's important but I'd like to know who are you! Who sent you!? [guy suddenly grabs Sponge]
Sponge: He-hey! I asked you first! And what're you talking about? What do you mean, who sent me?

The mysterious figure seems to have believed Sponge and lets him go. He saw right through that this was probably the bumbling idiot everyone has mentioned that came out of N00b St. recently. The in-comers have been so slow lately that anyone, just about anyone that came in was instantly that talk of the 'others'. The others, we have no insight about but who cares, this is the way it goes! Strangely enough, no one followed through after their quasi-celebrity state. Lo and behold, they disappeared in the vastness of the Archive forest!

After letting go of little poo, the Mystery figure composes himself again. Suddenly somewhat of a spotlight comes over him... but from where!? Where ever it came from-- it gave light to the previously unseen figure that is our mystery man.

Mystery figure: Greetings. I am...
Out of nowhere voices are suddenly heard from deep within the forest. They scream: "RAMIE, LADIES MAN. MAN'S MAN. MAN ABOUT TOWN." and then it was all silent and once again, only the heat of the spotlight could be felt.
Sponge: Man's man?O_o Ramie?? Er...then... I...
Mystery figure: and you are Sponge, I know. [replying back as if the voices never happened] I just realized. I seem to keep forgetting we have contact cards. You were new. I don't trust new faces!
Sponge: Uh.. why did you say "who sent me"?
Ramie: That's not important now. What is though, is why you're here? O_o
Sponge: Oh. Well, Clare-something sent me.
Ramie: [scoffs] I see. Well then, it be best you got on with your way as I myself have [ahem] 'plans' of my own. [begins to leave]
Sponge: Waaaaaiiiit! Why does everyone have some secret agenda going on here? Why won't anyone answer my questions?
Ramie: Shhhh! Would you stop your whining? They'll hear you and believe me they'll come for us.
Sponge: Huh? Who? Trolls?
Ramie: No. Worse. I'm sure you've met Merc Jack.... [goes shifty-eyed]
Sponge: Yeah... he was, well... I can't remember. I'm confused!
Ramie: [sighs] Look, it's not a good idea to hang around here. It's not safe. Although the place looks deserted, there are beings you can't even imagine. It'd be best if you come along. Maybe I can help you out. Take you under my wing.
Sponge: I don't know but okay. I'm suppose to get firewood for Clare-something..
Ramie: Hah. You know you're quite lucky she is not here at the moment. She's not fond of people who mess up her name. She may actually be worse than Jack...
Sponge: Bzuh!?

Meanwhile, The Oracle woman those two were just talking about is walking along a long passageway. She had been doing so for the past week since I cliff-hanged everyone. :P Makes you wonder if they (our oh so pissy charcters, I mean) are pissed off or not about that, eh? Then again, it is a "long" passageway. And the Oracle likes to take her time since she knows it'll just be Jack she'll be knocking heads with again. Oh she's late! She's late! She can't let him wait! Or he'll treat her like bait! At the end of the next stretch of corridors is finally a door or more like a thin panel. Etched on the massive panel was the figure of angel wings. By a wave of Cleriantomi's hand, the figure illuminates and it opens. Waiting inside with his ever steely look was Mercenary Jack. Ruh-roh!

Mercenary Jack: Well, where have you been? I PM'ed you days ago!
Clare: [rolling her eyes] I am quite aware of that. I was merely busy with a few things. You can't expect me to be here at your every beckon call. And besides, I've received quite a number of bewildering PMs from you before...
Mercenary Jack: [looking on innocently but stays composed] I-uh, I don't know what you're talking about! This is important! We've made a commitment to this and you need to keep it.

Clare: So, you think I've been careless with my job?!
Mercenary Jack: I never said that... I'm merely reminding you the importance of having an open communication. Besides... I believe there's been a breach!
Clare: Oh really [o rly!]? When did we have an open- ah wait, what breach? [sounding as if she's now interested]
Mercenary Jack: You're the Oracle, I was hoping you would know. Your ubiquitous presence around Angel Tide even supports this title!
Clare: [scoffs] Um yeah. I believe it's a little something called PARANOIA. If you've come to take me away from my fandom wars-- ahem -- busy work at The Advice Column and Suggestions room, for this then you seriously need to take a breather. There is no breach! If there was one, I would be the first to trouble shoot. Give it a rest. Why not go bite some heads off at the Debate Corner? Actually you seem to enjoy doing that wherever you go....
Mercenary Jack: [ignoring the snide remark] There is so a breach! I just know there is. And I will prove it to you.
Clare: Go ahead. Clarification is a beautiful thing. [smirks] Until there is actually something concrete, it'd be best if you don't come out with any more wild goose chases and PM me. Perhaps you should take SOS with you...
Mercenary Jack: Uh... well... yes, I was going to.
Clare: Well then, I have more important things to do. If only I had the firewood for the fan.... [her voice trails off into the dark corridor from whence she appeared from]

Sponge: Have I told you how wonderful this day is?!^_^
Ramie: [sighs] Oh you've been around Rouge too long.
Sponge: What's that? What do you mean? Does Rouge have some sort of contagious disease?
Ramie: You don't say? [sarcastically] Nevermind, I think we've reached the Sanctuary. You can collect your firewood here. I'll just be over there...
Sponge: Whoa whoa- wait, where are you going? What if the Trolls come? Or Jack?
Ramie: You have arms. Legs. Besides, the kinkajou pee'd on you. Stuff's very acidic and bad for Trolls. Better yet, use your head.
Sponge: How'd you know... and wha? You want me to hit them with my head?
Ramie: O___o Oi. This shall be hard. [he whispers to himself] You must be really desperate to get answers, huh? I'll just be around the back... if anything happens, WARN ME then come RUNNING. Did you get that? Warn then run for me, ok?
Sponge: Er... Okay!^_^

With that, Ramie disappears deep into what he called the Sanctuary. Sponge was left to fend for himself for a while. So he looked around. The place was vast! It seems, the tree tops have no end. And if they did, they were as high as the sky... if there is such a thing as a sky in teh AT. He then begins to assess the firewood he can acquire from these trees. Whatever he could reach was good enough than returning with nothing. Clare didn't seem the type to accept failure anyway. Only to realize he doesn't even have the tools for chopping wood. Yeah that's surprising. By now he should stop asking and just shut up. But then if you were in his position, wouldn't you stop at nothing but to find out as much as you can? Yet with no one answering anything you, I suppose it's not avoidable that you'll look like an idiot. Just like Sponge! Although.. maybe and just maybe he's just.. truly sick in the head? =D Oh btw, suddenly!

Mercenary Jack: Stop- [interruped]
SOS: right there!
Mercenary Jack: [sighs] ...
Sponge: What'd I do? I swear, I wasn't doing anything... [without much word he runs for whatever direction Ramie went]
Mercenary Jack: Wait! You're not going to get away. Believe me, you're not getting another warning!
SOS: Ban! Ban! Ban!
Sponge: I don't know what that means but when it comes from you, I won't be staying to find out! [continues running]

Sponge had no friggin' idea where he was going. Then -- yeah, just like that -- a little squeeky sound. You guessed it. Kinkajou! It runs towards the left and so Sponge runs after it. He wasn't sure anymore why this thing keeps popping out of nowhere. It's been everywhere! If he could catch up with it maybe, he'll finally get away from this place. He's been away for so long, who the hell knows if his Final Fantasy XI subscription has expired. Or or, the new FF7 movie/novellas/sequel/videogame franchise/tv show/merchandise has arrived. Seriously. Missing all this stuff can kill someone! And that someone is Sponge right now. He rushes on but obviously the little Kinkajou is too fast for him.

Jack and SOS trail right behind him. Jack is more than furious now. If there's one thing he hates besides spammers in General Chat, it was uncooperative newbies. This was a bad image especially when he's vying for teh AT's top-top echelon. Because he wasn't top enough... along with oh I don't know, 12 other people. Who the other 10 are, we don't know yet. =p SOS, on the other hand, was merely in it for the diversions from the trivial things in teh AT. She for some reason enjoyed Jack's often inharmonious company... which at times the 'others' find odd at times. Then again, it's not like SOS isn't peculiar herself. People. Hmm.. who knows, maybe it's really the effect of teh AT?

Anywho, Sponge kept running until he reached a junction and finally, the inner sanctuary where Ramie was. He was standing in front of by far, the biggest tree in the whole Sanctuary. He turns around flabbergasted. Jack and SOS was right behind them.

Ramie: Sponge. You shouldn't be here!
Mercenary Jack: You shouldn't either. Ramie! [Jack signals SOS]
SOS: Ladies man. Man's man. Man about town. [feigns a smile] Heh.
Mercenary Jack: [huffs] I never thought you'd be the one behind all this.
Ramie: [scoffs] Behind what?O_o I don't know what you're talking about but I'm telling you now to back off! This was my idea!
Sponge: What's happening? Why is this always happening to me!?
SOS and Mercenary Jack: Shut up.
Ramie: He has nothing to do with this! Leave him alone. Jack, SOS just back off now.
Mercenary Jack: And I thought... I thought I was your brother. How can you do this?!
SOS: You can't destroy AT! It's our home!
Sponge: De-destroy!? What are you talking about? Ramie is going to destroy AT?!
Ramie: Shut up, Jack! You don't know what I'm doing. But I'm doing it and you won't stop me!
Sponge: Ramie... don't! Think about this. I was on Prozac for a while but believe me there are others ways we can help you! I'm sure there's a way around your depression! I'll help you....
Mercenary Jack: Eh? It's no use. I know he's already convinced. I'll have to end this if I have to. PM her... [signals SOS again]
SOS: Are you sure about this? He's your...
Mercenary Jack: I know what I'm doing! Do it!
Ramie: Don't even think about it, SOS. This has nothing to do with any of you. Besides, it'll materialize before she even reads that PM.
After saying this, Ramie lights the matches he's been carrying all this time. There was a wire attached to the big tree behind him. He's going to light it!
Sponge: Don't! Don't do it!
SOS: Jack? What do I do?
Mercenary Jack: [standing his guard but clearly frazzled] ... I... uh...
Ramie: Well, here goes! [lights the wire]
Sponge: Oh noes! Where can I hide!?
Mercenary Jack and SOS: Shut it. We're over.

Dun dun dun! Did Ramie just try to bomb the big tree!? Is this the breach Jack was talking about? Oh noes indeed!!! Shall we learn about it next week? Or maybe... NOW!
The ignited wire reaches the end and the tree blasts off into the sky. The sky illuminates! Fireworks? Lasers? We can't really say but it's spectacular! The tree doesn't completely burst into flames nor does AT disintegrate into oblivion like they first assumed. Did you think it too? Come on, did you buy that AT was even going to be destroyed... at the 4th episode? Could happen but that would leave me unemployed! The tree, in fact, gains a bit of a new wardrobe. Shards from the explosion stick to it like ornaments of different colors. They gleamed in the dark. After what it seemed like a light show, the tree descends somewhere. Everyone was flabbergasted and in awe at first until cheers could be heard. Sponge drooled.

Ramie: Like I said. My idea. The credit is mine.
Sponge: @_@ [drools some more]
Mercenary Jack: I... I can't believe it. [stands his ground]
SOS: Well, that was breathtaking!

[PM alarm]
Message to Sponge from Cleriantomi: What's with ruckus? STOP. Need my firewood. STOP I'll have your hide if you don't get back soon STOP. and explain. STOP.
[end of PM]

Sponge: Huuuh?! What the heck is this? I don't even know I have this thing!!!
Mercenary Jack, SOS and Ramie: [sighs and shakes their heads]

Okaaaaaay. That was freakishly long, I know, but this was a special episode as you probably already know. If not, it means you didn't read! Tsk tsk tsk. Then again, MERRY CHRISTMAS you tehATfiends. I know you love us because if you weren't we wouldn't be here on our 4th episode! Here's hoping to further support and interesting storylines! Believe me this is not going to be the end if you let us continue! Ever thought why the Kinkajou appears out of nowhere like that? Whaaaa? Ramie is... ya know?! I can't believe it myself! Will Clare ever get the firewood!? Stay tune next time kids!

{end theme}
Created by Elza
Story Written by Elza (I beat KT, took me a day to come up with this randomness!)
------------------

That was longish. =p It's christmas everyone! Let's go explode some trees! Bite heads off! Be merry! Hope you liked this ep. It did take me a while to make it coherent.. to some extent. xD

Episode 5: Diz b j00r end, n00b!

Previously on teh AT...
Oh yes, the long hiatus is over or not but anywho, we're here! I don't know shiznit what happened in the last few episodes but I'm sure it won't matter now because each episode has a life of its own, it's almost crazy. Just think about what was the last thing to happen:
Exploding trees and peeing mammals. Life couldn't be much better for a young man in the middle of nowhere. Btw, is Ramie really 'teh' ladies man; man's man; man about town?

-------------------------------

{cue theme music}

Mercenary Jack: This shall be the end of you!!! Be on your guard! [positions himself on an attack stance]
Sponge: Bu-But! It's a mistake!

HOURS BEFORE THE INCIDENT.... (like time actually existed in this place. Just think two words: CHAIN REACTION.)

Sponge: Uh... Miss Clare... I have the firewood....
Clare: Holy fish crackers! O_O [quickly closes the PM mechanism she's holding] Don't n00bs knock anymore?
Sponge: I-I... [begins to sweat] I was rushing... I didn't want you to get mad at me.
Clare: Very well. You did get the firewood after all. So you're forgiven... for now. [snickers then coughs]
Sponge: Hmm. But I noticed, you don't have a fireplace? O_o
Clare: Yes yes.... I don't think that concerns you anymore. Now if you have nothing else for me- I have much to do... [starts walking around]
Sponge: Well um... before I go. Could I ask... you something?
Clare: [stops and glares at Sponge for a bit before answering] Very well. If you must.
Sponge: It's about the-
Clare: It's rather amazing how you're in the Archive Forest where the answers to most of your questions could have been easily found lying around along with the firewood. Come to think of it, I wonder why they call it a Reserve? More like dumping ground.... [grins]
Sponge: But the trolls! What if they attacked? You can't imagine what I had to face in there. Which reminds me- [gets interrupted again]
Clare: Trolls aren't real. Merely an expression.... for sad, gullible n00bs.
Sponge: And those that attacked Debate Corner?
Clare: Slang... for spammers. [rolls eyes] Any more questions? Hmm?
Sponge: Wow... you really know everything.
Clare: Indeed. Now I think that's enough questions. You should get going now.... [starts to shove Sponge out of the room]
Sponge: Wait. I still have a lot to....

[Clare closes the door]

So Sponge, once again (like it's ever a surprise), is left without answers. Clare seemed preoccupied with something more but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. Whether he'll get answers anymore is no longer an issue. But maybe the answers he's looking for could only be right in front of him.
From afar, Sponge notices a white board across The Advice Column and Suggestions Room. In bold letters were the words: Announcements. This was it! Maybe he'll find some answers here! Or maybe he won't. Who knows.... does anyone even read announcements? He finds himself drawn to it. He, after all, had nowhere else to go and had no one to 'not' answer his questions anymore. After the exploding tree incident, Ramie left with that Mercenary Jack fellow. SOS.... well does anyone think they'll really get along? So, he was alone! Whining and going emo would only leave people to run from him once again. It was real life all over again! Anyone got Prozac? Anywho, he approaches the thing and sees....

Sponge: It's empty. O_o But why is it even here if they don't use it?
Rouge: [jumping on to Sponge from out of nowhere] Hey Sponge!^_^ Long time no talk!
Sponge: O_____O!
Rouge: What're you doing? [starts getting off of Sponge's back]
Sponge: Whoa. Where'd you come from?!
Rouge: I can't believe this is still here.... [looking at the billboard] O_o Hah, I never noticed it.
Sponge: What do you mean? The Announcement board?
Rouge: Yeah! They don't use it because no one reads it!^_^
Sponge: Oh? That's weird...
Rouge: Hey, why don't we continue the tour?!
Sponge: Eh? Er.. okay. I thought you weren't coming back....
Rouge: Huh? What do mean? Btw, did you see the wonderful exploding tree!? It was beautiful! ^_^
Sponge: Uh... yeah. I was there when it got launched... or whatever. o_O
Rouge: Sponge? Why so blue?
Sponge: I'm.. uh.. I'm not.
Rouge: Well good! Let's resume the tour! I think the best place to liven up the mood is the Spam Arena!
Sponge: Spam Arena? I'm not even going to ask. Off we gooooo, I guess. [forces a smile]

And once again they walked onto the long stretch, that is the roads of Angel Tide. Sponge seemed distant and not his inquisitive old self (Thank God, no more whining!) while Rouge on the other hand was more than willing to show her old self. Skipping over the incessant enthusiastic commentary, I bring you the SPAM ARENA.

Rouge: Well. Anything goes from here on!^_^
Sponge: Oh. We're here. [looks around]
Rouge: It can get ugly at times, although, not as ugly as Debate Corner. Still, it's probably the most active place around.
Genckt: The place where 'the others' do most of the chatting.
Sponge: O____O
Rouge: Yeah... kinda.
Sponge: Why do you do that!?O_O
Genckt: Easy. O_o
Rouge: Oh. Genckt is always around. You should get used to it.
Genckt: You should loosen up. This is the Spam Arena.
Rouge and Genckt: Anything goes!
Sponge: [stares at them both and clearly weirded out]
Rouge: Why don't we head on to that thread I made about the singing moon?^_^
Sponge: Er... yeah, I think it's a good idea to look around but what're threads?
Genckt: O_o
Rouge: Be nice. It's his second day. Well, it's like... erm... a place where you post stuff and people leave replies about it.
Genckt: In our case, we have stalls for each topic so they can seem organized.
Sponge: Like a suggestion box?
Rouge: Uh.. yeah! Like that, I think. O_o Why don't I just show you. [starts walking]
Genckt: I hear Mercenary Jack and Ramie are having a disagreement about something. They're doing it publicly. It's the next thread. Why not lurk there?
Rouge: Nah. Jack always does that. I bet they're just trying to prove who's better or something. O_o
Genckt: It seemed serious. Clare knows this but I don't think she cares. =/
Rouge: She's making sure everyone is at their best behavior while Jack is... well, doing whatever it is he's doing.
Sponge: [interrupts the two] Hey, who's that!? [points to person in of staring at one of the threads]

In one of the stalls for topics, stood a guy who seemed like he hasn't combed his hair in a long time. O_o His face could not be seen but it was apparent that he for some reason was holding a lollipop. >_> He was staring intently at an attachment posted along with the topic: "ajgoagalgaomau" Beside him was another guy, only shorter. He too was staring at the attachment though sometimes glancing at the blonde guy beside him.

Rouge: Oh, that's Melvin and Dragoe, his protégé. Um... I don't think you should meet him just yet.
Sponge: Why?
Genckt: He's a little strange for you.
Sponge: Everything here is strange to me....
Rouge: Yeah but I don't think this is the right time. He seems busy with something. And if you know Melvin, he takes his work very seriously.
Genckt: He's evil.
Sponge: What?! Wha-what do you mean he's evil?
Rouge: Genckt! Don't scare him like that. He's not really evil ya know... just a little eccentric... that's all.
Genckt: More like deranged.
Sponge: O_O I don't think I'd like to meet him anymore. [starts to move along]
Rouge: Now, look what you've done. You know he's a little panicky. [snaps at Genckt]
Genckt: Sorry. =/

Just then, without noticing it, Sponge finds himself hurled into the air. He had just slipped on a banana peel! xD Poor guy. Can I just say cursed? Unable to do anything he plummets into one of the stalls. And in some twist of fate, rams into Ramie and displaces him from his chair, then taking over. But this may not just be the end of it.
Mercenary Jack: Unacceptable! What you've done was-

[ALARM]

Mercenary Jack: [blinks profusely while looking surprised] What're you doing here!? Did you just press the challenge button?!
Sponge: Whaaaa.... what'd I do? O_o
Ramie: [getting up] Looks like you'll have to fight Jack now, Sponge.
Mercenary Jack: Well then, I accept your challenge. [glares at Sponge]
Sponge: What challenge? What button are you talking about? O_o
Ramie: Um, you pressed the rP button, didn't you? I'm afraid you'll have to take it with Jack now.
Sponge: It was an accident! I... I didn't...!
Ramie: On second thought. I don't think he'll reconsider now. Jack just left.
Sponge: But, we have to clear this up!
[Rouge and Genckt comes in]
Rouge: Sponge, we just heard! You're challenging Jack? Wow. [looks amazed]
Genckt: Maybe this is the time to sing Rouge?=p
Rouge: Of course! We'll cheer for you Sponge!
Sponge: No no no, this is a mistake! But how can you know so soon?
Genckt: The Announcement Board, of course.
Rouge: You can do it Sponge!^_^ I just never knew you had it in you.
Ramie: I told you I'll take you under my wing, right? I'll help you out. Jack is going to be a cinch if you follow my advice.
Sponge: But didn't you leave me in the Archive Forest?! And... and I haven't agreed to this rP thing!
Ramie: [ignoring Sponge's protest] Come on, this'll be easy!
Sponge: What is rP!?

[PM Alarm]
Message to Sponge from Cleriantomi: rP is otherwise known as roleplay. STOP. In layman's terms, playing pretend. STOP. I'm sure you'll understand that now. STOP. If not, I give up. STOP.
[end of PM]

Sponge: Why does everything have to happen to meeee? [Rouge still cheering in the background.]

Moments later after a so-called long attempt at rP, Sponge finds himself facing Mercenary Jack.... for the last time, maybe?

Ramie: You're actually coming out to watch this. I'm certain you're not rooting for Jack.
Clare: Oh don't get me started. I'm here to see it won't get 'too' out of hand.
Ramie: I'm here for the slaughtering- but who knows, the n00b challenged him after all.
Clare: Accidents happen.
Ramie: Especially to him for some sad reason. But I did what I can to soften the blow... if you know what I mean.
Clare: I'm sure. [smirks]

[somewhere on the other side of the platform]

Genckt: Wouldn't this be the right time to play that battle fanfare?=p
Rouge: If that would help. Though I think it would be better if you cheered with me!^_^
Genckt: Eh? I... don't... cheer. =/
Rouge: Go Sponge! Go go go!

After much speculating from the spectators. Yes there were only four but they were spectators nonetheless. The battle begins. Clare and Ramie watches from the sidelines standing as somewhat of the judges. While Rouge... well, you know what she does! As for Genckt; he was sorely disappointed that the battle fanfare was not played.

[ROUND 1]
Mercenary Jack: This shall be the end of you!!! Be on your guard! [positions himself on an attack stance]
Sponge: Bu-But! It's a mistake!
Mercenary Jack: No excuses. I won't back down easily. You challenged me. A n00b. This is your end!
Sponge: Wait! You have to listen, this is a mistake!! It was an accident.
Mercenary Jack: Get ready! I'm coming for you! [Jack then advances with his dagger.]
Sponge: O_O [gulp] [curls himself like a ball and hits the ground]
Mercenary Jack: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..........

[imagine that in slow motion? wouldn't that be hilarious?!xD]
And suddenly! Lo and behold. The kinkajou appears out of nowhere and spreads magic dust of sorts in the air. Another miracle? Everyone is frozen.... except Sponge. He remains still and curled up like a ball. Then all was silent. He thinks it's all over and this must be the other side. Until, the kinkajou makes those familiar sounds he's always heard before. The place is now illuminated by tiny lights like the way meteor showers enveloped the skies in the real world. Then in a fraction of a second everything was normal again. The kinkajou disappeared in a blink of an eye; as was the magic dust. There was no time to think. But Sponge felt he was now different. He was suddenly brimming with unexplainable strength. He watched Mercenary Jack charged on while he remained in his now upright stance. He was ready.

[CLASH]

It happened so fast. He felt the fear but at the same time, it was as if he was no longer the one in control. His body knew what to do and that was to leap in the air and do some major somersaults and back flips. To which Mercenary Jack stared in awe. He did not expect this. And with that, Sponge does one calculated kick to the gut and then the face. It was over. TOASTY.

Mercenary Jack: O____O [collapses. and drools]
Ramie/Clare/Genckt: Dude.
Rouge: Hurrah! [cheers on]
Sponge: I...uh... I need to pee.

{end theme}
Created by Elza.
Written by Elza; with help and bickerings from KT xD

-----------------

There. Ya happy?