Title: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Shawn Michaels - August 2, 2005 09:03 PM (GMT)
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you. and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting Oh
my God.
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A!
Bill Gates - August 2, 2005 09:07 PM (GMT)
xDDD Ooooh that was good!
Sean Connery - August 2, 2005 11:47 PM (GMT)
Wow. Just, wow. It reminds me of when my friend Jonny submitted a "murder mystery" that was basically just a porno and got an A except this is a much cooler story. Awsome! B)
Bruce Lee - August 3, 2005 05:13 AM (GMT)
I've read so many different versions of that apparent actual question but i believe that someone just wrote it up and distributed it. It's good, but him getting an A for it is unlikely :P
Kiefer Sutherland - August 3, 2005 01:54 PM (GMT)
Yeah, you're probably right Kie...although it probably was an actual question, people have just duplicated the real answer and sent it out...Or it could be just a scam...however it is good, and I'd definately give it an A if I was marking it...
Blaze - August 4, 2005 04:03 AM (GMT)
I would personally call the student to my office,give him a pat on the back,show him the A and say "Keep up the good work,I hope to see more answers like this in the future."
Batman - September 25, 2005 01:45 PM (GMT)
funny, but the one on Bash.org is truely the best,
Bruce Lee - September 25, 2005 11:55 PM (GMT)
http://bash.org/?301963For anyone who wants a looksee.