fuckin women suck, but these jokes rule!

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
>>
>> How many men does it take to open a beer?
>> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
>> probably never be able to support you.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
>>stand
>> closer to the kitchen sink.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> How do you know when a woman is about to say something
>>smart?
>> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>> ----------------------------------------
>> How do you fix a woman's watch?
>> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Why do men break wind more than women?
>> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the
>>required
>> pressure.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
>>yelling at
>> the front door, who do you let in first?
>> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>> A woman who won't do what she's told.
>> --------------------------------------
>> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
>>Always.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
>> I don't like to interrupt her.
>> ---------------------------------------
>> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
>>sex
>> drive by
>> 90%.
>> It's called a Wedding Cake.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
>> Suffering.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the
>>TV?"
>> I said, "Dust!"
>> ----------------------------------------
>> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>> Then God created Man and rested.
>> Then God created Woman.
>> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>> ------------------------------------------
>> Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo
>>Drive
>>and said,
>> "I haven't eaten anything for days."
>> She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your
>>willpower."
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Tim: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
>>a man
>>doesn't
>> know his wife until he marries her?"
>> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
>> Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.
>> They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
>> ----------------------------------------
>> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
>>to forget
>> it once.
>> ----------------------------------------
>> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
>>the
>>street
>> with a
>> bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
>>beautiful.

lmfao! :lol:

Feeling bitter, Chris?

why yes chris, i am. why do i fucking bother.

Don't let 'em get you down mate. It's when you least expect it that you're pleasantly surprised.

Chris

If all else fails, just feel good knowing: :randell:

Fuckin women, that's all I have to say.... feckin women.

Something I always say (though I already told you this on MSN)
"Cut your toe-nails bitch so you can get closer to the sink"

Here is a few more;

why do women wear white @ thier weddings??
dont all kitchen appliances come is white
-------------------------------------------------------
a man was told he had 6 weeks to live by his doctor, so the doctor sugessted that he sorted out his will etc in the 1st 2 weeks , then reeeeeeally enjoy the other 4 weeks doing everything he always wanted to do in his life
the dying man said "i think ill spend my last 4 weeks with my mother in law"
the dr, very surprised, asked "why on earth would you spend your last days with your mother in law?"
the man said "because i know they will be the longest 4 weeks of my life