Will update this as I get time. I'm trying a more brief match report for the rest, if you don't like it, tell me.


*Pyros illuminate the packed Sydney Superdome as ASWF Next Generation hits for what should be a huge show*

The crowd is treated to highlights of Jelly Adams’ defection to the Maltese Terriers last week to ‘Go to Sleep’ by Eminem, Obie Trice, and DMX. It ends with a close up of a bloodied and battered Luke Sharpe.

What’s a Matter You? by Joe Dolce hits, and the Maltese Terriers strut out into the ring to the boos of the crowd. MrCharisma seizes the mike.
Charisma: All of youse, shut up. There are some legends in the ring, and we intend to talk.
*Jelly grabs the mike*
Jelly: Word. Last week I made a smart move. I joined an up and coming stable, and now I’m on top of the world.
Charisma: You’re not on top yet, but you’re definitely close. Mate, you are on Mount Everest, and you’re pissing down all over these peons. Tonight we will prove our dominance. Luke Sharpe tonight you will pit yourself against the Maltese Rambo, me. And those two poofs backstage will defend their tag titles against my Irish friends here. But from now on, they won’t be The Irish Connection, they will be Hummus and Tabouli, the Kebab Brothers!
Maleky: Wait a second there, Mr. Magro. We never agreed.
Charisma: Are youse disrespecting me? Mate, I will warn you once and then I will take you down with a Macedonian Atomic Spinning Kick to the face, mate. You must learn from the master, and that is me.
Prisoner of Society by The Living End comes on, and Wizard 1o1 appears at the top of the ramp.
Wizard: I noticed your ‘golden boy’, Jelly, wasn’t given a match tonight. How about he puts that title of his on the line against me?
Jelly: Unfortunately I….
Wizard: You what? You sleep with men? You like to push large objects into your ass? You miss your Mother? None of that shit matters Jelly. What matters is… that Wizard 1o1 is here tonight, and he is here to wrestle. And he’s not going to ‘Smack Da Jelly on Ya’. No, I’m gonna smack a five star frog splash on you, and then I’ll get the title. 1-2-3.
Jelly: (Angry) What I was going to say was that I can’t see a problem with beating your ass down tonight. Sounds like Main Event material.
Bring me Back to Life comes on, and Chris Walker strolls out.
Walker-Bush: Sounds good to me boys. Let’s make it interesting. Let’s make it a ladder match!

*Crowd cheers*

COMMERCIAL
New from Lynx. It’s Lynx Afghanistan, guaranteed to blow her veil off

Brandell vs. Steve Simmons- No Holds Barred
The match gets underway with a stiff lock-up, Steve wins the battle, and gets Brandell in a head-lock. He delivers a few punches to him, but Brandell shoves him into the ropes and then hits an atomic drop. Steve is reeling, but spins to attempt a clumsy clothesline. Brandell ducks and hits a sharp slap across the chest, he then attempts a whip, but Steve reverses it into a hard clothesline. Brandell’s flattened, and Steve attempts a cover. Barely gets two. Steve drags Brandell to his feet and throws him outside the ring. He then climbs lazily out, picks up a chair, and slaps it across Brandell’s back. Brandell reaches out in pain, and he is hit across the back again. The crowd boos Steve, who cockily shoves on in the face before hitting Brandell across the face with the chair.
He rolls his opponent back into the ring, and goes for a cover. Brandell manages to get a shoulder up, much to Steve’s annoyance. The ASWF enforcer drags Brandell to his feet again, and hits a samba suplex. That shook the ring! Another cover gets a near fall, but again Brandell digs deep to roll out. Steve looks pissed, but he’s not relenting at all. He leaves Brandell lying there, and goes outside to get a cudgel from beneath the ring. He comes back in and nonchalantly beats Brandell around the stomach, face, and chest. This is a one-sided clash, and Brandell looks like he’s running out of puff. However, as Steve brings the cudgel down, Brandell drops to his knees and delivers a low blow! Steve drops the cudgel, but Brandell swoops on it and the tables have turned. The crowd counts as Brandell beats Steve into a corner and then goes for a bronco buster! Steve rolls out of the way just in time, and quickly wraps Brandell in a choke-hold. He’s fading fast, and Steve won’t let him go despite his hands being on the ropes. Suddenly a new figure emerges from backstage carrying a carton of beer over one arm. It’s Reg Regan!
He hits the ring, pulls out two bottles of KB, and smashes them on either side of Steve’s head, flooding the mat in beer! Brandell rolls backwards for a cover, and he gets it. Reg and Brandell open the carton and start to guzzle the beer, but someone else comes running into the ring with a baseball bat! He lays out the pair, and then pours beer all over both of them.
Fanatic: I bet all of you are wondering who I am. I’m Dragon Fanatic, and I’ve been sitting backstage watching this attention hog Brandell get air-time every week. I was signed months ago, and this dickhead just turns up and starts getting air-time. No! That’s fucked up, and next week I’m challenging Brandell. If I win, I get his TV time. If he wins…. Nah, he won’t. See you next week hairy-back.

COMMERCIAL
Libra have a new tampon. It’s shaped like a penis. It’s called Libra Phallus. We’ll charge an extra $6.00 for it, because we know you’re a vacuous bitch

Backstage we find Charisma Chris Maunder. He's sipping a new Cherry Coke™ and watching highlights from last week's show. Michael Vella comes in, and opens the fridge. It's full of Pepsi.
Vella: What the fuck? Where's all the Cherry Coke? (He sees Maunder) Give me that.
Chris: What? No. This is my Cherry Coke.
Vella: I don't think you heard me, bitch, I want that coke.
Chris: I said no.

*Vella rushes over and starts punching Maunder, laying him out. The Coke, ironically, is spilt*

Suddenly Trent and Aaron burst in and make the save. They push Vella away and both of them pour Pepsi over him. He leaves in anger.
Trent: Ooh, you got quite the bruising, didn't you dear?
Chris: Yeah, glad you guys showed up.
Aaron: Oh, that bitch is just jealous because you're batting for our team...
Chris: I am? Well, I guess I owe you for saving my ass. Ok, I'll bat for your team tonight.
Trent: Ooh! Sounds like a plan!

'Macho Man' hits and Gay Pride make their way to the ring with Charisma Chris Maunder. He seems excited to be there, and waves at the crowd as Trent and Aaron enter the ring.
Aaron: We were supposed to pit ourselves against the Kebabs or whatever they're called tonight- but we seem to have found a partner. How about we make this match a menage a trois of sorts?
Toss the Feathers hits and Hummus and Tabouli (aka Maleky and Tommy) come out.
Tommy: We'd love to, our partner will be Michael Vella!

Gay Pride and Charisma Chris Maunder vs. The Kebab Brothers and Michael Vella
Tommy, Maleky, and Gay Pride spend most of the ring time doing various high flying maneuvers. Maleky takes a more active role than in recent weeks, getting a few near falls. Maunder and Vella hit the ring at the same time, with Maunder, of course, getting the upper hand and whipping Vella hard into the corner. He goes for a cartwheel back elbow, but is hit in the face with a chair by Tommy. The match ends by DQ, with Vella beating down Maunder before fleeing the ring.
WINNER: Gay Pride and Charisma Chris Maunder by DQ

COMMERCIAL
You've tried Vanilla, Lemon, and Cherry. Now try new Kebab flavoured Coke. Endorsed by the ASWF's Mr Charisma. 'Mate, it is good'.

After the break we find DJMaC in the ring. He has a chair out, and a note-pad on his lap.
DJMaC: I've been going through a list of all of the ASWF competitors, and I've decided that they're all talentless shit. I've beaten Boyd. I've beaten a bunch of ring ins from the audience. There is no one left for me to beat. So, I've decided the best thing for me to do is to retire as....
"Luck by a Lady tonight...
Natalie Gruzlewski appears at the top of the ramp, and she's dressed to wrestle!
Natalie: Last week I was beaten within an inch of my life by a coward. A man whose penis is.... well.... (She makes a 'small' gesture with her hand). Not that I've seen it myself, but Trent and Aaron were quite amused.
DJMaC: What? That was an accident! I thought they were someone else!
Natalie: Hey, I'm all for experimentation Dave...
DJMaC: You want a match, bitch? You got it, come on!

Natalie Gruzlewski vs. DJMaC for the Pacific Title
Natalie starts off with plenty of energy, hitting a hurricanrana and trying for a few quick pinfalls. She almost has it when she hits 'You're Dropped' on DJMaC, but he puts a foot on the rope. After that it's a squash, DJMaC picking up the win by holding her tights. He then gives her a powerbomb. Marshal Boyd rushes out to make the save, but DJMaC flees the ring.

Marshal: In a fortnight it'll be the ASWF's first pay per view. I'm challenging you, DJMaC, to a title match. A street fight. You got it?
DJMaC: Yeah, whatever. I'll take you.

COMMERCIAL
:drunk: New from Tooheys, it's Goon. Valued at only $5 for a four litre cask. It's value for money

Backstage we see a limousine arrive, out of it steps Roger Bossert! He's making his way to the ring.

Bossert is in the ring.
Roger: I've been gone from the ASWF for months now, and I decided it was about time I made my comeback. In what capacity? I hear you all scream. Well, I've yet to decide. I'm tried wrestling and dominated there. I've tried commentating, but there's no money there. I've even been valet for idiots like Jelly. So, the logical next step for me is to take over the company. Chris, get out here.

Bring Me Back to Life hits and Walker-Bush strolls out.
Chris: Roger, are you completely crazy? You can't just come in and start saying you'll take over the show. You need money, you need talent, and you need some stroke. You've got none of those, although from what I heard, you give yourself quite a bit of stroke.
Roger: You'll see Bush, I've got a master plan. And it starts tonight. You'll all witness the birth of B.A.T!
*Roger leaves through the audience, and Walker-Bush is left bemused*

MrCharisma is in the ring already.
Charisma: (Rapping)
Mate, I am a handsome man,
Running my own Maltese clan,
Got some mad skills,
For making the easy kills,
Gonna head down to the lab,
Make me a mutant kebab,
Then I'll beat up poor Luke,
Make that gay sucker puke,
Go home- fuck his girl,
Yeah, I'll rock that fat bitches' world.

Luke Sharpe doesn't waste any time, and he runs down into the ring.
Luke Sharpe vs. MrCharisma
Quick start from Sharpe has MrCharisma reeling, and he gets a near fall early on. Charisma manages to stablise things, even hitting an impressive top rope head-butt which almost ends the match. Sharpe gets sick of it and slides out of the ring. He grabs a chair and beats down Charisma, who wins by DQ. He doesn't stop though, and when Vella and the Kebab Brothers rush out- he beats them down to. Eventually Jelly rushes out, dodges a spear, and hits an Aeroplane Drop on Sharpe.

COMMERCIAL
Survivor XVII: Disneyland

We come back and it's Jelly Adams in the ring. He calls out Wizard 1o1, who runs to the ring carrying a step ladder.
Jelly: Er... what are you going to do with that tiny ladder? It won't reach the belt.
Wizard: Oh, I know. (He throws it to Jelly, who catches it and is gifted with a super-kick to the ladder to the head).

Jelly Adams vs. Wizard 1o1 for the World Title
Wizard 1o1 takes full advantage of his shock tactices, beating down Jelly with ease for the first few minutes. Jelly eventually regains some ascendancy through dirty tactics, including a blatant kick to the crotch. The match is too and fro, with Jelly the first to attempt a climb. Wizard sets up another ladder and tackles him from it, and both men are down and out. Wizard is first up, and starts to climb the ladder when Roger Bossert rushes out and knocks it over.

He calls someone out, and Josh Hussey clambers up the ladder to snare the title.
Roger: Well, Mr. Walker-Bush it seems I have one piece of talent and one title. Your move.

Security rushes out to take the two down, but they flee through the crowd!

Date: 24/9/03
Location: Sydney Superdome, NSW
Reporter: David Harris
Website: www.aswfans.com

Show kicks off with the customary pyros, followed by a highlight package from Jelly and The Irish Connection defecting to the Maltese Terriers. Love that Eminem song.

The Maltese Terriers cut an average promo. Jelly rants, and MrCharisma forces Maleky and Tommy to change their names to Hummus and Tabouli and become the Kebab Brothers. That was pretty funny. Wizard 1o1 comes out and challenges Jelly to a title match, he's good on the mike.

Match One- Brandell vs. Steve Simmons (No Holds Barred)
A very good opening match, both of these guys are good brawlers, and Brandell got a nice pop. The match was in the balance when Reg Reagan ran out to a HUGE pop to give Brandell a cheap win. As they celebrated Stone Cold style (with beer), another new face showed and hit Brandell. Is he gonna feud with Simmons AND this Dragon Fanatic guy?

There's a funny promo with Chris Maunder and Vella. Vella should never speak on the mike, but Chris makes up for it. They plug Cherry Coke (it was on sale at the show as well), and then Vella beats down Chris. Gay Pride make the save and ask him to 'bat for their team'. This gay angle is hilarious.

Match Two- Gay Pride and Chris Maunder vs. The Kebab Brothers and Michael Vella
Not a bad match, they had the two tag teams work the majority of it. The inevitable tag to Maunder and Vella at the same time saw Maunder dominate, it's good to see him in ring again. Tommy ended the match by hitting Charisma with a chair, and then Vella beat him down.

DJMaC is in the ring, he gets mad heat. He is saying that he's done all he can as a wrestler, and he wants to retire. Natalie comes out and she says she'll take him. Damn, she's fine.

Match Three- Natalie Gruzlewski vs. DJMaC (Pacific Title Match)
A typical squash match. She gets a lot of offense off early (and looks good doing it), before DJMaC beats her down. He then does the heel beat-down, but Marshal Boyd makes the save and challenges him at the pay per view in a fortnight. Forgot the two were feuding.

Roger Bossert finally arrives. Does anyone really care? He's never really done much in the ASWF's previous incarnations. In the ring he puts himself over, and then says he wants to run the ASWF. Walker-Bush comes out to mixed reaction, it's kind of half pop and half boo. He ridicules Bossert, who says he'll create something called B.A.T tonight.

Next up MrCharisma hits the ring and does a really funny rap. Reminds me of Slick the Elite off of Pizza. Sharpedo comes out next.

Match Four- MrCharisma vs. Luke Sharpe
Luke Sharpe vs. MrCharisma
This was a good match as well. Charisma works well with Sharpe, and even does a few high flying moves. It ends when Sharpedo gets pissed off and uses a chair to open up Charisma. He goes skitz and takes down the Kebab Brothers and Vella, before Jelly comes out and hits an aeroplane drop. This feud is pretty good.

After the break Jelly comes out for his title match (shouldn't the challenger be first?) and Wizard comes out with a step ladder. Hilarious little promo, and then match is on. I'm looking forward to this.

Match 5- Jelly Adams vs. Wizard 1o1 (Ladder Match for World Title)
Any insanely good match for a regular tv show. Jelly's out of his league in a high flying match, but he compensates with some amazing mat moves. Wizard is fucking insane, he spear tackled Jelly off of one ladder from another. Great build up, and it definately got the fans involved. Ended in a shitty way when Hussey and Bossert hit the ring and stole the title. I wonder how Walker-Bush will react next week?

Not a bad show, a lot of new faces, I wonder how it'll work.

BIGGEST POPS
1. Wizard 1o1
2. Natalie Gruzlewski
3. Marshal Boyd
4. Brandell
5. Chris Walker-Bush

MOST HEAT
1. MrCharisma
2. Jelly Adams
3. Michael Vella
4. Roger Bossert
5. DJMaC