ASWF Turmoil
Brisbane

Card:

Chris Kazima and Kid Suicide vs. Avatar

Pacific Title Match
Trent Bowman vs. Quincy Penfold

Hardcore Title Match
The Beef vs. IanG vs. Brandell

Tornado Handicap Street Fight
The Finishers vs. Johnny Law

We will be hearing from Big Pete on his views on what happened last week and we will hear about Sean Lawrences current health. We will hear Slash make a challenge for next weeks show. We will hear more about the two new wrestler set to make debuts next month and we will no doubt be seeing DJ U-Neek who is recovering from his wounds after the savage attack by the Finishers.

That and more on ASWF Turmoil!

Sir Quincy Penfold the Third regards the card that has been placed on a silver tray and presented before him by a very large homo sapien who somehow looks tiny when standing next to SQP3. SQP3 dissmisses him and seems to float across the room like a fine swan across a glistening lake.

SQP3: Oh deary-me, oh deary me indeed! What foul stroke of luck is this that puts me in the ring with the pacific champion, a champion only greatly tarnished by lame in comparison with the king of the unwashed peas, Ian Gorton, and that worthless hemoslug lame pod DJ nothing unique about him what-so-ever U-Neek.
OH I SAY!!

SQP3 lies down on a large section of his locker room whichis garnished with the finest pillows. He ponders in a way that similar great minds such as Churchill and Princess Fergie must have toiled in the past.

SQP3:YES...i do believe that this Pacific title may indeed b e a crux on which to wage my holy war on lame....There fore i must lay claim to it and STRIVE onwards and upwards! I must foucs one of my many beams of light on this Bowman character and wash him clean of all things lame!! OH I SAY!!

SQP3 lays down on his bed of pillows and eats some grapes in a grand and utterly awe inspiring manner...

UNFORTUNATELY this interview marked with great wittercisms, intelligence and pizzaz is stained by the following sack of petulence uttered by....

Five Minutes With Brandell



On the eve of his tripple threat match for the hardcore chamionship Brandell sat down with us to have a few words and a few KB's...

Mike Munro: Welcome Brandell and thank you once again for devoting your time to our show.

Brandell: No probs Mikey, I'd do anything for your sweet little ass,,,

In the backgroud you can hear someone scream out "YEAH"

Mike Munro: Right, now alot of people are surprised that you haven't come straight back into the World Title contention after returning from your extended break, what is your plans for the future in the ASWF?

Brandell: Well Mike I was thinking of going back up against Unique again but then i thought to myself that jumping straight in that seems a little rude so my plan is to just casually get warmed up get it a little sweaty and then just try and slide it in for the ride of my life.

just as before the voice comes from the background "YEAH Double up YEAH YEAH"

Mike Munro: So why the Beef? Why choose the hardcore title? Why all the sexual inuendo?

Brandell: Well I have had Beef with the Beef for some time now...ha beef with the beef...Basically his attitude backstage and out in the arena stinks and it's about time he got taught a lesson and who better than the former two time World champion to give it to him.

Yeah comes from out the back once more this time brandell stands up

Brandell: I didn't mean anything that time you dropkick.

Mike Munro: And the partnering back up of Reg Regan and yourself is that just purely a manager/wrestler thing or might there be a chance of the former tag team champions reuniting?

Brandell: I went solo a long time ago and i don't plan to go back to the Tag days but in saying that i wouldn't be opposed to the idea of a tag here or there...

Once more Yeah yeah yeah Brandell stands up and runs off camera

Brandell: Thats it Reggy you dirty perve your going to cop it...

Mike Munro: So there you have it the former world champion and current contender for the hardcore championship Brandell...just what does this week hold for the hero of many, only time will tell, i'm Mike Munro

*Lights flair around the arena as Killing Heidi's - I am booms from around, the Pacific Champion Trent 'The Ox' Bowman struts down the ramp to the delight of the crowd*

Ox: Yet another week, yet another title defence, when are these punks going to learn, that this belt goes nowhere, doesnt matter what sort of match, doesnt matter who the opponent, its still with me, after all this time

*OX OX OX OX OX OX OX OX OX*

Ox: That brings me to another special someone, Avatar, so far, all you've done is talk, and take a very little action, well sonny jim, there is an old saying, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

Ox: You want a piece of me?? How about next week punk, you and me, in the ring, bring all of your scary bullshit, but be prepared to see the Ox at his very best bitch, because your ass is mine!!!!!!!

*And with that, the ox storms from the ring, anger flourishing across his features*

Creeping around back stage a dark stumbling figure lurks from change room to change room as if it is looking for somthing familiar.

When do you need promos by?

By Wednesday.

I'll start typing the show on Word tomorrow and then post it by Thursday, Friday at the latest unless something comes up. (If so then I'll post it).

Ian Gorton and Miss Devine are heading for Ian's dressing room

DEV: You seem rather confident tonight. You think you'll be able to get the job done?
IAN: Well it seems those suits in the office are finally starting to take notice. And hey I've been hardcore champ before so I know what I gotta do. I may be in the ring tonight with two other blokes but tonight my dear, I WILL be a two time hardcore champion. Cuz I wanna show all these banana bending Four X guzzlers what a champion looks like.

Just then Brandell walks past

IAN: Well well well look what the cat dragged in. So where's what's his face from ACA I've heard he's here tonight?

Cut away.

Avatar is found backstage once again, the only light a guttering candle which casts predatory shadows.

Avatar: Two victims this week. Last week I gave you but a sampling of my brutal justice, Bowman, and this week I will subject two innocent fools to the same treatment. Why? Because I have to do something to sate my hatred and anger until you're man enough to meet my challenge.

Don't cry for these poor fools, Bowman, have pity on them. They're being tortured in your stead. When you see their faces twisted by agony and their mouths try to form whimpers for mercy - know that you could have prevented this by simply coming out and accepting my challenge.

Cheif: I'm just getting word, live via satelite from Penrith, NSW, DJ U-Neek is joining us for a short chat and updating his condition

**As the crowd peered at the titantron, they viewed Dj U-Neek, filled with rage sitting on his chair with heavy straping around his ribs**

Cheif: How is everything Dj, how are you feel?
Dj U-Neek: How do you think im feelin? Im hurtin, i got some deep brusing on my ribs, a spliting headache and my back feels like ive been trampled on by Quincy's 400 pound mumma... but ill live. Last week i got jumped by those spineless mutherfuckers known as the finishers, however true to form, and not to their name, they again failed to finish me off...

While im not in the arena tonight, im here in my home relaxing and taking it easy so i can recover fully from my niggling injuries, ill be back next week and im gonna handle muy business then... so enjoy the security of not having to worry about me while you can Finishers, cause when im back on my feet, im gonna focus my entire attention on making you suckers my bitch. But for the moment im gonna sit back and enjoy the show tonight

Cheif: We thank you for your time DJ and wish you all the best in recovery and we hope to see you back in action next week

Dj U-Neek: You can beat your ass ill back next week, whoopin the Finishers asses all over the arena and entertain the U-neek freaks like only DJ can...

**video feed fades to black as On Edge goes to a commercial**

Backstage, a reporter runs up to the pacific champion, who is seen warming up for his match.....

Reporter: Ox, excuse me sir, did you just see Avatar???

Ox: Yeah I saw it, I dont know what the blundering fool is going on about, if he wants me so bad, all he has to do is ask, ill take him any time any where, no sneak attacks like he seems to always do, Ill walk right down the ramp, right into the ring, and slap the son of a bitch right in the face and then kick his ass.......................

There is going to be a delay in posting this report. Unless you just want the winners and key events of the night? Otherwise these results maybe done on Sunday/Monday as I have freinds coming over for the weekend.

Sadly my PC stuffed up so I'll just give you brief results:

-Big Pete, The Finishers and Slash came out to talk about the main event and their mission on taking revenge against Johnny Law. They also go into the fact DJ U-Neek won't be here tonight and make fun of the audience. Pete then announces Slash makes a challenge for next week against Avatar.

Match #1
Avatar vs. Kid Suicide and Chris Kazima
Winner: Avatar via Emerald Fusion @ 3:16

Match #2
Hardcore Title Triple Threat
IanG vs. Brandell vs. The Beef
Winner: The Beef via pin over IanG who was taken out by Quincy @ 9:02

- A Limo pulls up to the ring

Match #3
Pacific Championship
Quincy Penfold vs. Trent Bowman
Match Description: Close match. Quincy gain control when he hit Bowman with his brass nucks while the ref wasn't looking. He had it won until Ian came in and distracted him while the ref was still down. Trent took the nucks. However he used the T-Bone Crush, IanG woke up the ref and Bowman won.

Post Match: The lights go out and Avatar is at the opposite corner of Bowman. He walks slowly up to him. Trent tries to punch him but Avatar no sells and he starts choking Bowman while he's in the air. Trent reaches into his pocket and brings out his brass nucks and gets to work on Avatars head. It takes 10 good punches until he lets go and goes onto the ground. Trent stands victorious.

Match #4
The Finishers vs. Johnny Law
Winner: Law via DJ U-Neek interference @ 12:45

Post Match: Both DJ and Johnny stand victorious of the prone bodies of Tyson and Dan. Pete is on the ramp looking furious.

*End show*

So when's the next installmet coming?

Sadly my PC hasn't been working too well.

I was planning on doing a quick Weeks installment and then the PPV but that doesn't look possible at the moment.