ASWF Turmoil Week 1
Adelaide

An ASWF Official makes his way to the ring

Official:As you may of heard Chris Columbus is no longer with us here in the ASWF. Well it's my job to introduce the new man for the job....

Smells Like Teen Spirit blasts through the arena as Big Pete comes through the curtains in a suit and tie. As he makes his way to the ring he shakes the hand of the official

Big Pete: Miss me?

*Crowd Boo's*

Big Pete: I thought as much. So I hope all you fans know how to put two and two together to know I am the new owner of the ASWF. That's right I now call the shots and tonight I have already organised the card.

In our first match of the evening we'll be seeing Avatar taking on Kid Suicide. Avatar, if you do win this match I will let you get your hands on the trailer park scum Trent Bowman.

For our 2nd match we'll be seeing Jason "Murder" Lane taking on The Beef for the Hardcore Title.

3rd Match Brandell will be making his return match against Johnny Law.

As for the main event. I am going to allow Sir Quincy Penfold take on DJ U-Neek for the ASWF World Heavyweight Title.

As for you IanG I know you're in the back. I am giving you the night off for your efforts against Trent. While Trent being the nice guy I am I am going to give you the night off from wrestling. However something tells me you'll make some sort of Impact.

Big Pete's music hits as he exits the ring

Rundown of Card

Avatar vs. Kid Suicide

Hardcore Title Match
The Beef © vs. Jason "Murder" Lane

Brandell vs. Johnny Law

ASWF Title Match
Quincy Penfold vs. DJ U-Neek

Also appearances by IanG and Trent Bowman about their rumoured opponents at the next ASWF PPV Zenith.

OOC: Results will be posted on Tuesday as I'm going away for a week on Boxing Day.

Sir Quincy Penfold the Third seemingly glides down to the ring, while people less fortunate throw streamers and cheer at what is obviously the most glorious night of their lives. SQP3 waves like a true gentlemen, knightly in his essence. It is obvious he would have not been out of place next to King Arthur at the round table. Continuing with his gallantry, SQP3 strolls into the ring.

SQP3:Good evening on this most DELIGHTFUL and enchanted of evenings.

(Crowd cheers obviously, for SQP3 is quite a sight and his soothing voice has been known to ignite even the elderly into fits of ecstatic dancing and singing)

SQP3:What an ovation! OH I SAY! Jolly well good to meet you all! It is I, Sir Quincy Penfold the Third here on another crusade of majestic chivalry. i am here not only to challenge that most foul, bottom-smelling of, poor excuse for a monkeys toe nail...Ian G G G G god-awful GORTON (shudders) to a debate on a topic of his choosing. I have deemed his lameness so putrid and wide-spread that i must spank him mentally as well as physically! OH I SAY!

(Crowd are all arm in arm swaying together to the musical zenith that is SQP3´s voice)

SQP3:And what unholy mismatch is this?? SQP3 V the supposed champion of the world, DJ U-Neek? It seems i am to smite the lame in one foul swoop, like a plaque upon the lame. OH I SAY! Now being the gentlemenly statesman that i am, i cannopt tell a lie...

(People in the audience a cheering Öf Course not sire!!¨and ¨we believe in you sir!¨)

SQP3: I am not familiar with this particular individual that seems to be holding court on top of our fabulous federation. I think anybody who would abbreviate ther name into initials is obviously making lame pie. Thougfh i feel rather bothered that i will be forced to unseat this smelly maker of lame pie, and undermine his livelihood, i feel that we have been generous enough in listening to his silly outbursts long enough. I have been on the video phone with my dear mother, as well as Tony Blair and the good Prince Harry today and all have agreed that is time that i put out that little fire under your kaboose and jolly well give some respectability to that title! OH I SAY!

SQP3 hands the microphone back to the ring announcer gently and walks to the back to look for poor old Ian G.

Unfortunately this tremendous interview is follow by the ridiculously boring and predictable antics of another promo by....

Match #1
Avatar vs. Kid Suicide
Summary: Kid Suicide makes his way down to a mini pop. Then Avatar makes his way down to the ring with a very chilling entrance, fans are in awe as he gets inside the ring. The match starts with Kid Suicide trying to out-pace Avatar. However Avatar stops Suicide straight away when he grabs him by the neck and lifts him off his feet and chokes him. Avatar then puts Suicide on his feet and delivers a powerful chokeslam. He then gets Suicide up again and delivers the Emerald Fusion. Cover 1 2 3.
Winner: Avatar via Emerald Fusion @ 1:02

Post Match: Avatar waits for Sucide to get to his feet. He then puts him into the position for the Emerald Fusion until Trent's music hits the arena. Avatar drops Suicide and faces the Entrance Ramp. Trent however makes his way through the crowd with a chair. Trent delivers ten hard shots to the face of Avatar. The chair is extremely busted at this point as is Avatars face.

Trent grabs a mic and heads up the ramp as Avatar gets to his feet as Kane and the Undertaker do.

Trent: Avatar you may scare most of the wreslters in the back but you don't scare me. So at Zenith how about we have a match.

*Big Pete appears on the titatron*

Big Pete: Trent I believe that's my job to book the matches. However I do like this idea but something tells me it's lacking something. So I am going to make this match a Non-Title Cage match the winner will receive a shot at the ASWF Title at the next PPV.

The crowd cheers as both wrestlers don't seemed too fazed. However it is obvious the match stipulation is in Avatar's favour.

Match #2
Hardcore Title
The Beef with Coma vs. Jason "Murder" Lane
Lane makes his way down to a decent pop. While Beef makes his way down to a mixed reaction. The Beef starts things off as soon as he enters the ring diving on Lane taking them both to ground and delivering a bunch of punches. However Lane pushes Beef about 5 feet in the air. The two make their way to their feet. The Beef attempts a low dropkick however Lane dodges. Lane gets beef onto his feet and starts punching him. He then throws him to the ropes and hits a nice spinebuster. The Beef is in trouble here, he's still obviously under some pain from that hellish Hardcore Title Match that left Phantom and Kazima injured. Lane then puts the Beef into a Powerbomb. Cover...1...2...No Beef kicks out. Lane gets the Beef to his feet and sends him to the turnbuckle area. He sets The Beef up for the the Murder Lane however The Beef reverses it into a Hurricarana. Beef covers Lane 1 2 Kick Out! The Beef argues with the ref. The fans start mocking him and he tells them to shut up. The crowd boo's. As this is going on Lane gets to his feet and hits a nice smooth spinebuster. He signals for the Murder Lane. He Sends The Beef into the turnbuckle and sets him up. However this time Coma hits Lane with a powerful chair shot. The Beef hits another hurricarana pin 1 2 3. We have a winner.
Winner and STILL ASWF Hardcore Champion The Beef via Hurricarana @ 5:39

The Beef quickly makes his way out of the arena with Coma as the fans start throwing cans at him.

Match #3
Brandell with Reg Reagan vs. Johnny Law
Law quickly makes his way to the ring with some decent heat. Brandell's music hits and he comes out to a massive pop. Both Brandell and Reg Reagan make their way down to the ring pretty slowly. Reg is of course carrying a few KBs with him as Brandell gets in the ring with Reg standing at his corner. The match starts with Brandell dominating Law with a combination of punches. He then hits a loud high impact suplex. He quickly gets to his feet. He then sets Law into a T-Bone Suplex. He then covers Law 1...2 Kick Out. Brandell consults with the ref as Law makes his way up. Law delivers a powerful clothesline as soon as Brandell makes eye contact with Law. The crowd boo's as Law hits a Triple Powerbomb on Brandell. He then finishes this off with a perfect Body Splash from the top rope. The fans boo as Law covers. 1...2........Kick Out! Brandell gets to his feet about as quickly as Law does. Law hits Brandell and he goes down. Brandell gets back to his feet as Law sends him down again. Law tries again however Brandell is starting to Hulk Up. Brandell then kicks Law in the stomach and delivers a nice powerbomb. He then climbs to the turnbuckle and hits a massive Randy Savage like elbow. He's not done though Brandell then picks Law up and sends him to the turnbuckle. Brandell signals for the T-Bag while every fan in the arena cheers and get to their feet. Reg is really pumping the fans up as Brandell deilevers it! Cover 1 2 3!!! This one is overrrr
Winner:Brandell via T-Bag @ 7:57

[I]Post Match: Reg Reagan gives Brandell a big kiss on the cheek as the two celebrate. The Beef however comes down with Coma with chairs in hand and start laying out both Brandell and Reg Reagan before posing and then leaving.

Main Event to be posted later this evening.

**Dj U-Neek is seen in the backstage area warming up and awaiting the ASWF team doctor to complete the strapping on his ribs**

Reporter: Hey Dj, do you mind if i ask you a few questions about recent developments here in the ASWF?
Dj U-Neek: Sure champ, go for ya life
Reporter: Firstly, last night at the PPV, you and Big Pete battled it out in a hellaous match, one that colminated with you retaining the World Title and condeeming Big Pete to early retirement from the ring, any injuries coming out of that match?
Dj U-Neek: Last night i wrestled big pete in one hell of a match, without a doubt the hardest match ive ever had, he throw everything he had at me including those two dope heads that came down mid match. And i still prevailed, but you know, anyone who has been in this business knows you dont go through a match like that and come out unscathed. Im hurting, im sore, im not even medically cleared to wrestle, but these fans came to see me do my thing and thats what im gonna do...
Reporter: You mentioned the two new wrestlers here in this Federation, they are calling themselves "The Finishers", any words for them
Dj U-Neek: Yea i got a few words for them. You think you the first up and commers to go after me? HA! Theres a long fucking line to get a shot at me, so i suggest you take a ticket and head to back. Last night you got your freebie, i got other shit going on and frankly your well below my level. But make no mistake, if you get up in my business again, your gonna feel my rush. I am Dj U-neek, the most u-neek athelete in the known world, and you two, are a pack of two bob hookers at best... so you've been warned
Reporter: You mentioned you had other business, injured and all tonight, you defend your title against SQPIII, can you over come him in your current state?
Dj U-Neek: Quincy is no push over, you gotta be on ya game to beat him, and tonight, though im still suffering the effects of last time, im on my game, and its gonna take more then some pommy prat to take this title i fought so hard for last night... so tonight, im going out there, injured and all, going out there to make Quincy my bitch infront of the sold out crowd of U-Neek freaks... so what you gonna do Quincy? When Dj U-neek starts turing the tables...

**DJ stares into the camera as the doc finishes taping up his ribs... fades to black**

Thankfully the camera jumps to Sir Quincy Penfold the Third. Gentleman, champion angler, life of the sick and the cherished hero of the impoverished, poverished and quite a few ladies. He is busily shaking his beautiful locks in a vein attempt to try and work out who is lamer, the smelly, uncordinated, lacklustre slug king, Ian Gorton, or the small child that has taken over the mind of DJ U-Neek. Usually it would be a walkover for Gorton, but DJ Uneeks latest promo seems to have been ground breaking in its lameness...

SQP3:Woe is me! A plaque, a plaque on us all! These wretched foot soldiers of lame have risen in numbers! Sweaty Gorton! Spinny U-Neek! OH I SAY!!

(a tear rolls down the handsome cheek of SQP3)

SQP3:Mr U-Neek...if that is your real name...I find it outrageous that you should be allowed to bellow such outdated catch phrases and tripe! I find your music degrading to even slugs like Gorton (who from what i witnessed earlier, is a worse dancer than wrestler by the way - yes - i saw you dancing to SQP3´s theme song earlier!). I demand you remove yourself from this good business and make amends by getting back in your time machine and going back to the 80´s where such jargon was tolerated! OH I SAY!

SQP3 follows this outrageously original banter by similing in a way that suggests that he probably has a mixture of blood and the essence of the gods running through his veins!

*The camera tunes to Big Pete's office where Big Pete is sitting behind his desk with The Finishers on the other side obviously looking upset about DJ's promo*

Dan Horvath: DJ is the worlds biggest loud mouth he goes on how he's the worlds greatest athlete however he was lucky you Pete handed him the victory on the weekend.

Big Pete: Dan, I don't wish to talk about the events of Winter War Fare and although sure he's about as full as himself as Mundine he can back it up. So what brings you into my office?

Dan Horvath Well Pete, first off we were you're original posse back in the good ol' days and so can't we just cach up?

Big Pete: I'm running a company. I'm too busy to be all casual, if you have no business then please get out of my office.

Dan Horvath: Oh but Pete me and Ty do have some business. You see we want to prove ourselves we want a match against DJ, a tag team match.

Big Pete: I'll consider it, now please get out of my office I have a lot of things I have to take care of.

*Tyson Jay and Dan Horvath walk out of the office*

Big Pete: Geez no one told me running a company would be so...

*Before Pete can finish his sentence he looks up and starts squirming and looking extremly nervous and flustered as Sean "Carnage" Lawrence is now on the other side of it*

Big Pete: How...how did you get in here?

Carnage: Listen Pete I didn't come in here for idle chit chat. I demand I get given a shot at the ASWF World Title next week.

Big Pete: What if I refuse?

Carnage It wouldn't be wise of you to not grant me my oppurtunity. You don't know just how dangerous I am Pete. So I'll let you sit back in your chair because you're not only deciding my destiny, you're deciding your fate.

Carnage leaves as Pete gets back to work, looking disgusted about what just took place.

Bell Rings as the camera is once again ringside.

MAIN EVENT
ASWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
Quincy Penfold vs. DJ U-Neek ©
Penfolds music hits to a loud pop from the crowd. He makes his usual posh entrance as the crowd eats it up. DJ U-Neek's music hits and he comes out to a massive crowd. He's supporting some bandages as evidence from his match with Big Pete. He poses with the title before giving it to the ref who puts it up in the air to signify the match is for the ASWF World Heavyweight Title. He sounds the bell and we are underway! DJ starts us off with a arm lock. Quincy fights out if it with an elbow. He then gives DJ an eye rake which sends DJ down to the ground. DJ is clutching his eye while Quincy locks in a Figure Four. DJ's legs are obviously still pretty sore from his match against Pete and Quincy knows it. DJ is just about to tap as he wallows around in pain for a good minute. However he gets a leg free and starts kicking his way free. Both of them get up at the same time. They run at each other and both hit one another with a Double Clothesline. They do it again and once again they both go down. They get up again and attempt it however Quincy ducks and catches DJ off with a Super Kick. It's obvious that DJ is still sore from his match with Pete as usually he would've known not to go for a silly move. DJ is tired and spitting out some blood as Quincy awaits for DJ to get to his feet. Quincy then quickly puts Dj into a DDT. Quincy covers 1 2 Kick out! Dj gets to his feet but quickly collapses this allows Quincy to put DJ into a Piledriver! Quincy hits it and this time he hits the Bionic Elbow!!! Quincy covers we could have a NEW ASWF Champion Here. 1....2...................DJ's LEGS ON THE ROPE. Oh my god that was close.Quincy keeps going however DJ reverses and hits a nice DDT. DJ urges Quincy to get up and hits the Turn Tables!! However The Finishers have made their way down. They hit DJ with that 3D move again. The ref still hasn't called for the bell?! He musn't of seen them. Quincy drags his arm accross DJ 1 2 IanG has pulled the ref out. IanG and The Finishers enter the ring and start working on their opposite opponents with punches until Pete's music hits.
Winner: No Contest via Interference @ 8:54

Big Pete: Tyson, Dan and Ian how dare you ruin my main event! I'm very angry at the two of you. Luckily enough that performance was terrible. DJ that was the worst match I've ever seen you perform and Quincy...I just don't like you. So here's what we going to do next week. It will be a tag team match. DJ U-Neek and Quincy Penfold

*Crowd Cheers*

Against Dan Horvath, Tyson Jay and IAN GORTON.

Crowd Boo's while DJ and Quincy seem upset about the decision.

*Camera Fades to black*