The Card

DJ U-Neek and Sir Quincy Penfold III vs. Ian 'Grappler' Gorton and Big Pete

Trent 'The Ox' Bowman vs. Johnny Law

Chris Karizma vs. The Beef

(Johnny Law sits at an expensive looking desk perusing files and smoking a fat cigar)

Well here i am a budding young wrestler forced to take on the cattle conglomerate. First its Beef now the Ox, quite frankly i think its all a load of Bull$#!T. Poor Clarabell, i told you you'd only get your shot when i offered it. Mr Bush is a shrewd businessman and no doubt sees the value in making you wait. I also see the value, and think you should learn some patience instead of just being a patient. That hock of yours needs work Clarabell, and i know some good vets. Now if you just wanted to sit around and pump weights id understand that but please consider your future. I want you healthy when i beat you comprehensively. For now ill go for the rest of the cattle conglomerate. Trent you sad little hereford, Your next.

(Johnny starts singing the cows with guns song by Dana Lyons just before footage cuts)

Promo starts in the locker room where Pete and Ian are just talking. They notice the camera man and begin their promo

Big Pete:Ian, tonight it appears it's you and me vs. DJ Unick and Sir Penfogey. Tonight we're going to make history not by just defeating these two sellouts but by being known as the best tag team ever. I doubt the likes of the Hart Foundation could beat us.

*Ian nods with a smirk on his face as Pete continues*

Big Pete: With our skill we're undefeatable. With my skill, with my charisma, with my knowledge we're unde....

*Ian cuts him off*

Ian: Pete I can agree with that but arn't you forgetting my submission skills which rivals the great Bret Harts. To add to that I was the one that cost CWB his job.

Big Pete: Oh sorry I just get too carried away you know, considering I am the future Heavyweight Champion and all. But really who cares what kind of skills we have tonight? Just hearing the names of Big Pete and IanG side by side should be enough to scare them.

Ian:Agreed and they will have no idea how to handle the grappler when he gets out of control!

Pete gives IanG a handshake before leaving the locker room, camera fades to black with Ian getting his boots on for the match

Beef has been training hard throughout the week on his injured knee, which still has no recovered from the cowardly beating from Johnny Law. He is sitting down, strapping his knee as the reporter knocks on his locker door.

Reporter Beef, how is the knee?
Beef Not 100% but i'll manage.
Reporter Johnny Law has once again been talking it up during the week. You're thoughts?
Beef Johnny Boy. You can talk and talk as much as you like. So I'd only get my shot when you offer it I hear. Correct if im wrong, but arent I the champion? Dont you think it should be me granting you a shot? Now you think I need to learn some patience? Im the one with the idea of waiting, not Mr Bush. He agreed with me, and yes he does see the value in leaving it longer. Not to make me wait, but the longer my knee has to recover, the more of a belting you will recieve. Name me what you want, say what you want about me. I learnt to ignore sad little people like you a long time ago, because I know the reason you do it. Jealousy. Thats ok with me.

Reporter Ok. Moving on from Mr Law. This week you are facing another debutant in Chris Karizma.
Beef Yes, and I plan to show this bloke exactly why Im the champ. Im going to make an example of him, so that Johnny Law, sitting backstage can see what he will be going through in a few short week's time.
Reporter A problem with facing people in their first match is you dont know what to expect. How do you prepare?
Beef Ive beaten the best Hardcore wrestler the company had to offer, to earn this belt. This no-name bloke comes in here thinking he knows all. Well im going to put him into line.

Beef walks out of the room

*2 babyface lower card wrestlers are fighting and then Wildcard by Pennywise hits to a small boo from the crowd, out comes Chris "The Wildcard" Karizma and he smiles and waves to the crowd, The big 6'5 man gets into the ring, the lowercard wrestlers confront him, then Wildcard shakes hands with Donnie Drongo but then he throws him out of the ring then he gets hit in the back by Tommy Toughboy then wildcard turns around and then kicks tommy in teh midsection then hits him with the WILD RIDE! (wildcards finisher where he Picks them up and puts them in the outsiders edge position but then modifies it into a diamond cutter). The Chorus of boos becomes a bit louder as wildcard grabs a mic*

Karizma: Oh come on people, like you wanted to see that match anyway, forget this jeering guys, im here to entertain the masses because i love you guys even though you live in a backwards piece of garbage town like woolongong

*Crowd boos louder*

Karizma: I gotta holla at my boy Chris Walker Bush, why are you ducking me? are you scared of me? you dont wanna see what the wildcard can bring to the asrl table? Everyone knows that you are just a little bitch Mr Bush but im being a nice guy and letting you prove to the world that u will go toe to toe with the sexiest man in the world.

*Crowd boos*

Karizma: Now onto "Mr Hardcore", you have fallen right into my trap beef. I am the wildcard and you cant possibly be prepared to face me, but instead of doing what you can in trying to study up on me, you spend your days worrying about some dude called Johnny Law. By the time im through with you, Johnny Law wont wanna waste his time on you because im gonna make you look like a Hardcore Chump rather then the Hardcore Champ. I know your weaknesses but you can't possibly know mine, because a guy as pretty as me cant possibly have a weakness because im the man of the hour, too sweet to be sour, the man with all the answers, smart enough to cure cancer, im brighter then a lamp, soon to defeat the hardcore champ.

*Karizma drops the microphone and poses for a while in the ring and then walks up the ramp*

*A pre taped promo airs on the big screen, its the Pacific Champion Trent 'The Ox' Bowman, the crowd goes wild*


Well, what a different night tonight will be, Im going up against Johnny Law, wait a minute..........who the fuck is Johnny Law??

Ill tell you who he is, a good for nothing snot nose little punk with a big mouth, and when I see him, Im going to close it for him.

*The crowd breaks into a loud chant of OX OX OX OX OX OX*

All this talk of cattle, beef, herefords, Ox's, at least something of what you had to say had some sort of significance Law, because tonight, this Pacific Bred Hereford, is going to STAMPEDE YOU.

*As the tape ends, Trent Bowman sits in a locker room somewhere, literally snorting flames of anger*

Good work pete :)

The scene opens in the arena, with the cameras on the commentator. They begin to speak...

Commentator: now last wee on On Edge, we witnessed one of the most brutal and shocking incidents in the history of this business. As most of you would remember, that lunatic, that psycopath, Sean "Carnage" Lawrence, wreaked havoc by leaving The Ox in a pool, no make that an entire swimming complex of blood. Why you ask, take a look at this...

The screen cuts to a video promo showing footage from Carnage's statement made last week. It then cuts to the devestation he caused to the Ox. The screen cuts back to the commentator...

Commentator: Well, we regret to inform the locker room that Lawrence was not caught last week, and escaped the arena before police or security were able to get their hands on him. Rumours are circulating that he maybe here tonight, and although Chris Walker-Bush has ordered extra tight security for tonight's event, the ASWF is still at risk. There is no telling what this man, this this monster, this tyrant can do. Who's next? Well hopefully we wont have to find out...

Unexpectadly, the camera cuts backstage, where there is mayhem in a corridoor. The paremedics and ASWF officials are scrambling around. The camera pushes through the bunch to reveal three young ASWF lower carders lying unconcious on the ground. The camera then pans up to reveal a statement written in blood on the wall. It reads:

"You can run Walker-Bush, but you can't hide"

The scene fades out to a commercial...

After hearing some of the most redundent, overworked, predictable promos in the history of professional wrestling, the crowd is understandebly drowsy. Big Pete has spewed the same garbage as every other week without a flourish and Ian Gorton has done little more than upset the children and ladies with his horrific mug. Fortunately, the last interview by sean "The "Marlin" lawrence has prematurely faded into the smiling figure of Sir Quincy Penfold the Third. The platnium personification of proper is sitting in front of a very large union jack. The crowd shows its first signs of interest in an hour.

SQP3:OH Hel-LO ALL you out there in RING-side land! IT IS I, SQP3 the most handsome and splendid of them all! I apologise for the stench brought down upon you from the mouths of my proceeding brethren...They are an UN-ED-U cated mob but they do TRY!

SQP3 SIPS SOME EARL GREY TEA!!!!!!

SQP3:Ahhh, simply delightful! Though i know all things pale in comparison to this great cup, i must say that i am exepctant of a rather extrodinary match up tonight featurings YOURS TRU-ly...Tonight i plan to entertain, not unlike William Shakespeare did in the early 1600's in his beloved Globe theatre! The tradgedy... The drama!....the greed, the blood shed and the sex....well....maybe not so much the sex but any hoo! i have scripted this match and am certain that oit will go as plan! SQP3 triumphant! AHAW! OH I SAY!!

unfortuantely this immaculate and superb interview is followed by the drudgerous face of.......

SQP3 again doing poetry

OOC: Will do results sometime tomorrow (Monday)

Fark, apologies guys - Tuesday (today) for sure. Completely forgot I made that post.

Match One: Chris Karizma vs. The Beef
Things get underway with The Beef in control, but it soon becomes clear that his knee is not 100%. On several occasions whilst attempting suplexes, it visibly gives out, allowing Karizma to gain some ascendancy. The belt's not on the line here, and it's a good thing too, with Beef clearly not medically capable of working a match. The end comes with Beef attempting to hit a snap suplex, only to have his leg give out and Karizma turn it into a reverse neckbreaker for the 1-2-3.
WINNER: Chris Karizma by pinfall after 6:13

Backstage we find a nervous Chris Walker-Bush, who has two security guards at the door.
CWB: First Karizma, and now I've got the Artist Formerly Known as Sean Lawrence after me as well. I need to find a way out of this predictament. Sophie, make the call.

Match 2 - Trent 'The Ox' Bowman vs. Jonny Law
Law starts off by offering his hand for a handshake, but Bowman pulls him in and hits a hard belly to back suplex that shakes the ring. Law is quick to roll to the outside and regain his composure - but Bowman wants blood, and flies out of the ring in a suicide tackle that sends both men crashing into the security barrier. But outside the ring Jonny Law thrives, first with a blatant low blow, and then by whipping the Pacific champion into the steps. He delivers a hard DDT onto the exposed concrete as well, and then tosses Bowman back into the ring. Cover, but the champion kicks out.

The battle continues in the centre of the ring, with Bowman in control but never comfortable due to Law's cheating ways. Things look bad for the champion when he goes up top for a high impact move but is instead racked up and superplexed from the top. As Jonny Law prepares to make the cover, Sean 'Carnage' Lawrence slides into the ring. LETHAL SCOPE! He's laid out Jonny Law! The referee calls for the DQ!
WINNER: Jonny Law by DQ in 10:07

As Bowman struggles to his feet, Lawrence approaches as if to help him, but delivers Lethal Scope to him as well. Locking in the Chain Reaction, he holds the submission until security comes. He can be heard to scream 'Walker, this won't end until you accept my challenge' as he is dragged out of the arena.

OCC: sorry for no promo this week CBW, been flat out and totally forgot :(

It's cool. I'm always forgetting ASWF, lol

(Result of the tag match will be posted tonight. Just let me unwind from work a little :P)

(Johnny Law slams chair down on his flatscreen TV. The plasma explodes outwards with a flash. The image of Sean Carnage Lawrence denying him a title dissolves into a tousand pieces in front of him. Sated now Johnny Law turns and sits at his desk. Pressing his intercom he speaks to Angela)

JL; Oh Angie honey could you get me Chris Walker-Bush on the line. Oh and come in and pick up some trash in here after dialling plaese sweety.

Angie; Certainly mr Law. Ill be in for that rubbish in a moment.

(with a smile Law throws a pile of confetti on the floor by his door and waits till his phone rings. He sits down at his desk to answer.)

JL; Bush, this is Law. Ive got a proposal to make to you. This fucking Lawrence numbskull cost me a fair title win today. I know you want him out of the way and if you give me certain...... Benefits..... well i might be inclined to invest my time into pest control.

(Law smiles as CWB replies down the line. Angie enters in a high cut skirt, carrying a dustpan and brush. She bends down in front of laws desk and he smiles as he listens to Bush)

JL; Thats beautiful (law says distractedly). No not Lawrence just a new painting ive bought. Yeah we will talk somewhere private about this, you dont know who taps into these lines.

(As Law hangs up the phone he taps his fingers together in sequence. A small smile slowly crosses his face as he watches Angie clean confetti from the floor.)

OOC: Hmmmm Still no result for the Main Event Yet

Ian he's thinking of ways to screw us out of winning the match...but he knows he can't because we're the greatest tag team since ever. :P

DJ U-Neek and Sir Quincy Penfold III vs. Ian 'Grappler' Gorton and Big Pete.

The ringside announcers apologise for the delay midshow. Technicians have finally repaired the fault in the audio system. The show now continues.

DJ U-neek and Sir Quincy Penfold III enter the runway. Penfolds butler is in tow with a tray of tea. Penfold approaches the ring quickly. His butler pours two mugs of tea and Penfold takes them and offers one to a commentator. Quincy sits down in a spare chair and starts to drink with the commentator while U-neek flexes his way past the cheering crowd towards the ring. With DJ U-Neek in the ring and SQP3 still drinking tea with the commentator, the music changes. Big Pete and Ian ‘Grappler’ Gorton enter the runway looking businesslike. They make their way to the ring amid the cheers of the crowd. Penfold hands his teacup to the butler as he enters the ring. The four face off a moment as the ref asks who will start. Penfold always the gentleman lets the DJ start. Big Pete stays in for his side. The bell rings and Pete is quick to take advantage. A kick to the stomach folds the DJ over and Pete grabs him in a headlock. U-Neek twists out quickly and grabs Big Pete from behind for a belly to back suplex. The move works but has little impact as Pete lands easily and rolls to his feet. As the DJ turns Pete hits him hard with a clothesline. DJ goes down and Pete attempts a quick pin. Penfold throws his tea at the two sprawled in the ring. Most of it hits Pete and he rises with a howl of rage to attack Penfold. U-Neek is also revived by the scalding hot tea and as Pete grapples with Penfold over the ropes U-Neek stands up and slams a blow down on Petes exposed head. Pete goes down and the ref chases Penfold from the ring. The DJ attempts a pin and Gorton drags him to the outside from his corner. Penfold exits the ring and tackles Gorton into the security railings. The ref comes outside and tries to usher DJ U-Neek back to the ring. Gorton is stunned and throws the ref aside to get back at U-Neek the ref hits the railing and stays down. Penfold has entered the ring and attacks Pete as he returns to his feet. DJ and Gorton have been seperated and the ref returns to the ring groggily. After some punishment at the hands of Penfold, Pete makes a charge for the corner and a tag is made. Gorton enters the ring as Penfold belatedly reefs Pete out of the corner. Gorton clotheslines Penfold immediately upon entry to the ring. The two drag a dazed Penfold to the corner and reign blows into his head. U-Neek comes from nowhere and smashes Pete over the top rope. Pete grabs him and they both crash over to the floor. Both stay down. Penfold has recovered inside and the fresher two wrestlers are putting on quite a show. The bout is fairly even until Gorton hits Penfold with perfectly timed DDT. Penfold is nearly out and Gorton quickly locks in a sharpshooter. Penfold is trapped mid ring by Gorton and has no chance to break the hold. U_Neek has recovered and clambers into the ring as Penfold finally taps out. The bell rings and the victory goes to Ian ‘Grappler’ Gorton and Big Pete.

The show ends with footage of the cheering crowd.

Winners!!!!!

Good work Ian I knew you had it in you. :D

Dizamn - nice report, Al :)