(Thanks to Dave for brightening my day a little by fooling a few people. Nothing amuses me more than random lunacy)

PREMIER LEAGUE
A rampaging second half from the Darwin Cyclones has lifted the side to its first victory of the 2005 ASRL season at the expense of winless Auckland, who looked strong when leading 8-4 at halftime, but were run down and convincingly beaten 30-12.
Auckland: Michael Withers, Phil Bailey, and Rachid Hechiche. Spencer 0/4
Darwin: Keiran Wyar, Tommy Gallaghar 2, and Paul Cooke. Bowen 7/8
HT Score: Auckland 8-4
Penalties: Auckland 9-7
Completion Rates: Auckland 73% Darwin 61%
Possession: Darwin 52%
PoM Points: Paul Cooke 3, Eduardo Carera 2, and Tommy Gallaghar 1.

Wellington have triumphed in a top of the table clash against the Sydney Oilers, winning a crackerjack clash in New Zealand 28-20 to remain unbeaten after two rounds. Both sides scored four tries, but ill discipline from the Oilers allowed Shawn Tai to kick his side to victory.
Wellington: Nigel Vagana, Matt Orford, Paul Rauhihi, and Smeds Stahl. Tai 6/7
Sydney: Willie Tonga, Pennywise Tupanga-anga, Andrew Ryan, and Robbie Farah. Bennett 2/4
HT Score: 4 all
Penalties: Wellington 8-5
Completion Rates: Wellington 66% Sydney 62%
Possession: Wellington 51%
PoM Points: Ali Lauititi 3, Paul Rauhihi 2, and Matt Orford 1.

Parramatta have chalked up their first victory of the season with an 18-6 victory over the winless Adelaide Attitude, continuing the side's disappointing start to 2005. The Attitude were never in it, whilst Parramatta triumphed despite the lack of their regular halves pairing.
Parramatta: Tim Smith, Mark Riddell, and Jamie Lyon. Fitzgibbon 3/4
Adelaide: Rupeni Caucau. Carter 1/1
HT Score: Parramatta 8-0
Penalties: Adelaide 8-6
Completion Rates: Parramatta 72% Adelaide 55%
Possession: Parramatta 52%
PoM Points: Rupeni Cauca 3, Stirling Mortlock 2, and Harley Autitia 1.

The Gold Coast Crusade have recovered that winning feeling after last week's upset loss to Wollongong, racing away after a tense first half to put away the Brisbane Bulls 26-12. It was a vintage performance from the Crusade, who faced a Brisbane side packed with stars but ravaged by injury.
Brisbane: Ty Williams 2. Hannay 2/2
Gold Coast: Julian Santarakista 2, Tommy O'Reilly, Louis Anderson, and Luke Rooney. Johns 3/6
HT Score: Gold Coast 16-12
Penalties: Brisbane 6-3
Completion Rates: Brisbane 63% Gold Coast 71%
Possession: Gold Coast 55%
PoM Points: Tommy O'Reilly 3, Cameron Smith 2, and Julian Santarakista 1.

Hornsby's mind-boggling from thus far in 2005 kicked up a notch in today's clash with Perth, the Mavericks absolutely spanking the Taipans 44-28. Only a dominant performance from ring in hooker Harris Knofke added some pride to the result for Perth, who look like a side without any confidence.
Hornsby: Joe Roff, John Roe, Brent Grose, Graham Poweta, Justin Harrison 2, Brad Commins, and Vladimir Vlostov. Apokalips 6/8
Perth: Harris Knofke 3, Derick Hougard, and Stuart Littler. Wilkinson 4/5
HT Score: Hornsby 24-6
Penalties: Perth 5-3
Completion Rates: Hornsby 62% Perth 61%
Possession: Hornsby 52%
PoM Points: Justin Harrison 3, Vladimir Vlostov 2, and Joe Roff 1.

Wagga have come achingly close to scoring their first victory as a Premier League club, but the Central Phoenix ultimately proved too good in a thrilling clash that finished 28-24 in favour of the visiting Phoenix.
Wagga: Slick Cupples 2 and Scott Magro 2. Magro 4/5
Central: Christophe Lamaison, Jonny Maquina, and Robert Salvatori 3. Maquina 4/6
HT Score: Central 18-12
Penalties: Central 7-3
Completion Rates: Wagga 70% Central 72%
Possession: Central 55%
PoM Points: Slick Cupples 3, Robert Salvatori 2, and Clinton Schifcofske 1.

Central Coast may be giant killers in the eyes of their coach, but the killers were well and truly slain in today's clash with Melbourne - the Executioners playing an unattractive but dominant game that saw them claim an unexpected 18-4 victory over the premiers.
Central Coast: Stuart Fielden. El Masri 0/1
Melbourne: Brian Carney, Brian O'Driscroll, and Scott Geddes. Huxley 3/4
HT Score: Melbourne 8-0
Penalties: Melbourne 10-7
Completion Rates: Central Coast 63% Melbourne 75%
PoM Points: Schalk Burger 3, Brian Carney 2, and Brent Tate 1.

Despite dominant performances from several of their players, the Capetown Ravens have not been able to best the Northern Cannons in Sydney today. Whilst Leon Pryce put on an absolutely dominant performance from the wing, the Ravens were ultimately undone 20-6 to continue their worrying losing trend.
Northern: Trent Pariah, Brett Dallas, Leigh McWilliams, and Michael DeVere. Pariah 2/4
Capetown: Rod Jensen. Way 1/1
HT Score: Northern 10-0
Penalties: Northern 10-4
Completion Rates: Northern 61% Capetown 60%
Possession: Northern 55%
PoM Points: Leon Pryce 3, Ben Creagh 2, and Leigh McWilliams 1.

Surfers Paradise must well and truly be firming as genuine conteders in this year's Premier League, the Punks downing the giant killing Wollongong Destructors 18-6 in today's clash on the Gold Coast. The Punks' backline was in fine form, with Darren Lockyer putting in a superb captain's knock.
Surfers Paradise: Segeni Ngethe, Preston Campbell, and Shaun Timmins. Deacon 3/4
Wollongong: Richie Mathers. Covell 1/1
HT Score: Surfers Paradise 6-0
Penalties: Surfers Paradise 5-3
Completion Rates: Surfers Paradise 56% Wollongong 56%
Possession: Surfers Paradise 56%
PoM Points: Kobe Patrick 3, Shaun Timmins 2, and Darren Lockyer 1.

Team W L D For Against +/- Points
1. Northern 2 0 0 44 18 +26 4
2. Central 2 0 0 56 30 +26 4
3. Melbourne 2 0 0 38 14 +24 4
4. Hornsby 2 0 0 60 40 +20 4
5. Wellington 2 0 0 58 40 +18 4
6. Darwin Cyclones 1 1 0 42 28 +14 2
7. Gold Coast 1 1 0 56 46 +10 2
8. Sydney 1 1 0 48 46 +2 2

9. Surfers Paradise 1 1 0 36 34 +2 2
10. Parramatta 1 1 0 28 26 +2 2
11. Central Coast 1 1 0 28 34 -6 2
12. Wollongong 1 1 0 40 48 -8 2
13. Brisbane 1 1 0 32 44 -12 2
14. Wagga 0 2 0 44 58 -14 0
15. Adelaide 0 2 0 24 38 -14 0
16. Capetown 0 2 0 22 44 -22 0
17. Perth 0 2 0 40 68 -28 0
18. Auckland 0 2 0 18 58 -40 0

DIVISION TWO
Canberra have continued Eastwood's disappointing start to the year, the Pumas now zero from two following today's close fought but ultimately fruitless 30-18 away loss.
Canberra: Caleb Ralph, Paul Mellor, Gareth Carvell, Gary Coleman, and Eamon Carroll. Constipolous 5/6
Eastwood: Christian Cullen, Alex Chan, and Rob Burrow. March 3/3
HT Score: Canberra 16-6
Penalties: Canberra 8-3
Completion Rates: Canberra 74% Eastwood 47%
Possession: Canberra 57%
PoM Points: Caleb Ralph 3, Gareth Carvell 2, and Gary Coleman 1.

The much publicised rivallry between the Hess brothers has, unfortunately for Geelong fans, ended in a one sided victory to the Carnarvon Cowboys. After all of the hype this week, fans were on hand expecting a thriller, but instead witnessed a 34-0 demolition of the Bengals.
Carnarvon: Cameron Shepard, Jamie Venables, Tame Tupou 2, Adam Woolnough, Graham Luana, and Michael Ryan. Luana 3/8
Geelong: None.
HT Score: Carnarvon 20-0
Penalties: 7 all
Completion Rates: Carnarvon 66% Geelong 72%
Possession: Carnarvon 58%
PoM Points: Graham Luana 3, Tame Tupou 2, and Jamie Venables 1.

Christchurch have scored a nail-bitting 22-18 win in today's clash with fellow contenders, Tasmania, the Avalanches winning on the back of superior goal-kicking from Doug Rumble.
Christchurch: Brian Lima, Jamaal Lolesi, and Soni Ardi. Rumble 5/8
Tasmania: Matthew Burke 2 and Jerrie Muller. Burke 3/4
HT Score: Christchurch 18-8
Penalties: Christchurch 9-8
Completion Rates: Christchurch 67% Tasmania 62%
Possession: Christchurch 52%
PoM Points: Matthew Burke 3, Neale Wyatt 2, and Tiri Toa 1.

In the game of the round Lake Heights and South Queensland have played out a heart-stopping 22 all draw in Wollongong. The Lightning held a slender two point lead at halftime, but forty minutes later it proved impossible to separate the two sides following a half full of enterprising football.
Lake Heights: Mils Muliana, Willie Talau, Lance Hohaia, and Vinnie Anderson. Kempton 3/5
South Queensland: Allianya Takawira 2 and Nicholai Backlava. Young 5/5
HT Score: Lake Heights 16-14
Penalties: 8 all
Completion Rates: Lake Heights 63% South Queensland 61%
Possession: Lake Heights 50%
PoM Points: Willie Talau 3, Vinnie Anderson 2, and Lance Hohaia 1.

Liverpool remain seated at the bottom of the Division Two table following today's embarassing 34-16 loss to Campbelltown, who powered away after a close fought first half.
Liverpool: Adam Hughes, Joel Caine, and Zeb Taia. March 2/3
Campbelltown: Sid Domic, Chris Walker, Luke Williamson, Dean Bosnich, Daniel Heenan, and Garret Crossman. Hicks 5/6
HT Score: Campbelltown 16-12
Penalties: Liverpool 8-4
Completion Rates: Liverpool 50% Campbelltown 70%
Possession: Campbelltown 54%
PoM Points: Chris Hicks 3, Gareth Raynor 2, and Dean Bosnich 1.

New England continue to look like one of the sides to beat in 2005, today triumphing 22-16 over North Queensland in a battle between two of the competition's big contenders. The Dolphins sorely missed regular captain and fullback Kris Radlinski, who may have inspired them to victory had he been present.
North Queensland: Nick Youngquest 2 and Mark McLinden. Kirchner 2/3
New England: Manu Vatuvei, Rudi Vedelago, and Reece Williams 2. Ferris 3/5
HT Score: New England 12-10
Penalties: New England 6-5
Completion Rates: North Queensland 63% New England 67%
Possession: North Queensland 50%
PoM Points: Daniel Ferris 3, Gael Tallic 2, and Sione Lauaki 1.

Port Macquarie fans are celebrating following their club's first victory of 2005, the Stingrays holding on for an entertaining 28-22 victory over the Redfern All Whites. After last season setting a new record for its losing streak, the Stingrays look to have turned the corner under the tutelage of Nathan Hoy, who somehow coaxed a record 89% completion rate from the side.
Port Macquarie: Danny Tickle, David Bowe, and Damien Fields 2. Fields 6/7
Redfern: Elia Tuqiri, Stuart Donland 2, and Ryan Thumper-Knox. Thumper-Knox 2/2. Dynevor 1/2
HT Score: Port Macquarie 14-10
Penalties: Port Macquarie 11-6
Completion Rates: Port Macquarie 89% Redfern 62%
Possession: Port Macquarie 57%PoM Points: Alfred Songoro 3, Damien Fields 2, and Stuart Donlan 1.

Tamworth City really look the team to beat in 2005, today thumping Bondi 34-6 to remain at the peak of the Division Two ladder. The team looked slick as it raced in five tries to the Battlers' one, with Anthony Farrah grabbing a powerful hattrick. The Battlers looked on track to score an upset victory when they lead 6-2 at halftime, but were blown off the park in the second stanza.
Tamworth City: Anthony Farrah 3, Eron Bates, and Luke Ricketson. Bates 6/8
Bondi: Michael Sullivan. Costilio 1/1
HT Score: Bondi 6-2
Penalties: Tamworth City 13-2
Completion Rates: Tamworth City 79% Bondi 61%
Possession: Tamworth City 65%
PoM Points: Anthony Farrah 3, Luke Ricketson 2, and Eron Bates 1.

The continued absence of Mark Fowler has done nothing to slow the Newcastle Fear, who today got their first victory of 2005 with a huge 34-4 bashing of the Waikato Breakers.
Waikato: Simon Woolford. humphreys 0/1
Newcastle: Rob Parker, Iestyn Harris, Josh Perry, Marc Barctholomeausz, and Karl Pryce 2. Harris 5/6
HT Score: Newcastle 6-0
Penalties: Waikato 8-4
Completion Rates: Waikato 69% Newcastle 65%
Possession: Newcastle 55%
PoM Points: Karl Pryce 3, Iestyn Harris 2, and Ryan O'Hara 1.


Team W L D For Against +/- Points
1. Tamworth City 2 0 0 58 6 +52 4
2. Carnarvon 2 0 0 52 6 +46 4
3. Canberra 2 0 0 72 38 +34 4
4. Campbelltown 2 0 0 60 26 +34 4
5. New England 2 0 0 53 34 +19 4
6. South Queensland 1 0 1 49 40 +9 3
7. Tasmania 1 1 0 40 24 +16 2
8. Newcastle 1 1 0 34 30 +4 2

9. North Queensland 1 1 0 38 36 +2 2
10. Lake Heights 0 0 2 36 36 +0 2
11. Christchurch 1 1 0 28 36 -8 2
12. Port Macquarie 1 1 0 30 44 -14 2
13. Geelong 0 1 1 14 48 -34 1
14. Redfern 0 2 0 36 50 -14 0
15. Eastwood 0 2 0 36 57 -21 0
16. Liverpool 0 2 0 34 65 -31 0
17. Waikato 0 2 0 14 60 -46 0
18. Bondi 0 2 0 26 74 -48 0

GAH

"the Mavericks absolutely spanking the Taipans"

This is just the sort of commentry they're lacking at the SMH.

Pariah?

Excellent, Daniel Ferris is proving to be worthy of his promotion again.

hate to say it - but the best man won (but yes, this is three longnecks talking ;)) dissappointing, but we'll bounce back :D

And Lake Heights establish themselves early as the draw speacalisits - first they draw against me, and now a second darw ... lol

Only three? What's the occasion?

i finished prac today - and only have on e more week of uni till the holidays :D

i've gotta get soem dutch courage up before i ask the girl i go on prac with out as well ;)

Sending them to Bali with a bag full of hash each seemed to do the trick...<osama>

booyah, niggas cant touch my shit, da punks are back up in dis motherfucker

Did Chris (m) have a reverse Michael Jackson while i was away? :S

4 disallowed tries. Jokes.

haha i'm on holiday at the moment cheers.

The PoM points are rigged I tells ya!!!

Sth Qld! Sth Qld!

Many of you predicted we'd finish bottom - go you Underdogs!

haha i cant believe u dont remember that season where i did a rap after every win i got, maybe u did read those killer rhymes yo, aint nuttin changed

The Mavericks were today celebrateing their entry into the top four. Coach Columbo had this to say "Well ive been telling the boys to focus on attaining a home final all season and at this stage were right on track."



when will it all come crashing down??