by Alan Macquarie
Wagga Wagga Daily Advertiser
Reading the last round's synopsis, no doubt written by a youngster in the ASRL press office, I was struck by this remark concerning the Wagga Badgers' game in Wanganui:
| QUOTE |
| ...as the Badgers scored an unconvincing but vital 18-4 win. |
I wonder who the writer in the ASRL PR department was who wrote that. Actually, given the quality of the synopses they put out, what I'd really like to know is when the ASRL chopped the coffee budget at their headquarters, as the writer obviously had a temporary lapse in his comprehension of the English language...
...I wondered, as I read that quoted phrase, whom the Badgers' coach, Theo Kamis, had to convince at the league office that the Tuataras' scoreboard, which read Badgers 18, Tuataras 4 after eighty minutes, wasn't defective. Apparently, I missed the rules change this season that said that wins must be "convincing"...
...I mused on how the procedure would work - then, with the help of my precocious eleven year old daughter Hiroe, I divined what the ASRL might have had in mind...
| QUOTE |
Should a win not be considered of sufficient quality, the coach of what would have been the winning side shall appear at the ASRL League Office to convince the President why his side should be awarded the win. The factors that will be considered will include the following (but shall not be limited to just these factors):
- 1) Is your side approved by News Corporation?
- 2) Are you from Australia?
- 3) How many beers did you bring me?
- 4) How many shrimps did you bring me for the barbie?
- 5) Have you ever gotten laid in your entire life?
- 6) How ugly was she?
- 7) Did you have to pay her?
- 8) Did you contract a social disease in doing so?
- 9) Was her name Pauline Hanson?
Should the coach not provide sufficient proof that their side was worthy of the win, the two points shall be awarded to the losing side... |
The last time I looked, a win is a win is a win - they don't award extras for a beautiful win in league. And I don't remember anyone seeding playoffs based on the quality of a teams' wins, either. Rugby league is simple - you only have to convince the scoreboard that you won the game, not an empaneled jury of figure-skating judges...
...good thing, too - apparently union uses East German judges....
This is on its way to the hall of fame. Don't tell me the US media doesn't refer to wins as 'unconvincing' from time to time? It's an oft uttered phrase downunder. The Bulldogs win against Newcastle two weeks ago was 'unconvincing' according to the media.
$20,000
