(Wolf walks down to the ring wearing his new wrestling costume, a pair of fur leggings that appear to be wolfskin and a full facemask with a wolfshead design he gets to the ring and starts yelling. Noone hears him above the crowd noise and a ring official throws him a microphone which hits him square in the face. Wolf picks it up and throws it back at him. It knocks the official to the ground. The crowd silences and Wolf is finally able to be heard)

Wolf: My training is now complete, Chopstick tells me that now i am almost as formidable as he is and im ready to wrestle. What i need now is a victim. Ill take on any or all title contenders to prove my abi, abil, abil. To prove how good i am. Next show after that i want a title shot. Anyone who has the title or balls to call me out will be made suffer.

(as wolf exits up the aisle a keen autograph hunter passes him his book and texta. Wolf takes the book and texta and continues on his way)

(Wolf arrives back at the dressing room and shows Chopstick the lovely book containg many autographs. Chopstick shakes his head and points to the TV screen thats showing the small crying boy whos autograph book was taken by Wolf)

Chopstick; Wolf you went very well out there except for two things. The first is that you spoke without a microphone. You dont have to yell just use the microphone you were given.

Wolf; I must have forgot when someone threw something at me.

Chopstick; Well the thing the man threw at you was a microphone and you should never throw anything at the ring officials. That wasnt good.

Wolf; Im sorry boss i guess i just didnt know. At least i got him back. like you said dont let nobody attack me without attacking them back.

Chopstick; (sighs shaking his head) Well anyway the other thing you did wrong was to take this book off the little boy you should give it back to him and also something else to show you are sorry.

Wolf; but why boss he gave it to me.

Chopstick; He didnt give it to you he wanted you to write him an autograph.

Wolf; whats that?

Chopstick; Just write your name in it.

Wolf; i thought you said not to tell people my name is Erik Jennings.

Chopstick; (still sighing) No just write Wolf.

Wolf; Ok boss ill write my name in it so nobody takes it off me.

Chopstick; No you have to give it back. And seeing as though hes so upset he can have your new costume. Youll just have to wear some of the clothes out of your bag.

(Wolf begins to mumble, he looks upset but begins to change anyway. Footage cuts from the dressing room back to the still crying little boy.)

-- The lights go out as a high pitched noise rings out around the arena. A loud boom shakes the arena as a single light appears over the ring. A man with a large head is standing in the ring beside him is a wrestler dressed in black hanging upside down on the ropes.--

Dr Hamburger: The doctor is in! And I come with a message to wolf. You are a ninny, but I need you anyway. Well just your eyes!

The Bat: SCREEETTTCCCCHHHHH!!!!

Dr Hamburger: Well, they are for him. That is all for now, we await an answer!

--The bat stumbles out of the ring with Dr Hamburger as the lights go on. They both climb onto what appears to be a giant pineapple and ride away!--

Stumbling drunkenly in the middle of the ring the phantom is carrying a microphone and a spirit bottle covered in a brown paper bag followed by the caped crusaider Captain Insane O who looks like he is trying to convince the Phantom to come of the stage

The Drunken Phantom: This is a mesage to all you freaks out there Hic... that im not a nobodyy... mmm .. up...yeah and that you Mr Bush um sir thinks you need mor wrestlers your got ,one and an active FUCKING one too I'll take on any pansy from Brandel and sir quincey penfeeder to that no good liitle mouse poo head Colosus. I can wrestle any fool in this federation even that good for nuffin spani....... argh...

Captain Insane grabs the microphone off the phantom and puts him in a head lock

CRASH

The bottle carried by the phantom is knocked free of his rasp and smashes on the canvas spilling out malt liquer

The Drunken Phantom: Let go Heath or i'll hurt you

Captain Insane O My names not Heath and cut this out you drunken idiot.

KAHPOOMPAH!!

Before Captain Insane O could say another word the drunken man in purple tights flicks heath over his body in one easy swoop. Ledger jumps up quicklydroping the micro phone to get his face covered in a barrage of mighty blows from the Phantom leaving gashes over both eyes and a broken nose and split lip pooring out masive amounts of rouge coloured body fluid. with the masive amounts of blood pouring into the captains eyes he was left blind to masive amount of strikes to the ribs then a sucker punch to the head that put the unlucky captain Insane O on his arse as the phantom walks over to pick up the fallen mic he accidently steps on the captains throat.

The Drunken Phantom: As you can see pussy's im not that easy to take down so if you think your hard core your welcome to a sevre beating any contenders welcome.

The crowd is on the verge of a coma as another boring undercard match between reg reagan and the drunken phantom goes in to its second minute. The arenas lights fade to black, and suddenly a fluroscent handlebar moustache can be seen on the walkway. The lights come on, and there stands Sir Quincy Penfold the Third.
next to him stands a very young man, just a boy really....

SQP3:good evening lowly peasants who have nothing better to do then watch two flabby slightly grown man humiliate themselves. Well, i am here to introduce my younger brother, Cubus Menthol-

Cubus Menthol:My name is Beanie Eggbert, you douche!

SQP3:when you are under my care, you will use your god given christian name, cubus.

Beanie Eggbert:I can look after myself, douche meister!!

SQP3:Quiet! Anyway, i am here to announce that i must reclaim my title at this show from that cheating scoundrel, Brandell-

Beanie Eggbert:i hate brandell, hes a douche...

SQP3 stares at Beanie like he can't believe his ears.

SQP3:Mumsy put me in charge!You will behave or i will punish you!

Beanie:Douche master...

SQP3 drags his little brother off stage..

The sound of a loud motor bike breaks the banter of the two penfold brothers as they try to leave the stage. A harley flys down the ramp with a chubby tan bloke with a big green sombrero and a Bandito's jacket over his poncho with a hot young babe holding onto him rides all the way up to the ring and gets off the bike and into the ring

Tonto: Hi gentlemen got a tag team now do you, well i dont and i i want a title bad you boys can have brandel and senor if you want i want the hard core and if charisma doesnt come out of hidding i'll have to take on that backstabbing little bitch chopstick.

The fat mexican gets back on the bike looking just like the signa on his back jumps on his harley with rose hanging on behind him, the two penfolds stand there gobs smacked with quincey scratching his moustache and his little bro scratching his balls until quincey slaps his wrist and looks at him appalled

After the sounds of the harley clears the stadium. The screens all come to life with the picture of our beloved hero in some old bell tower thats surrounded by green pastures. Next to El Senor Ding Dong is a man in a red jacket.

El Senor Ding Dong: This is nice spot Gill with a good view a lot more space then the old bellcave and your sure with this security that no one can get in especially that little pest Tonto.

Old Gill: At Red coat reality we all ways supply with the best we have booby traps such as hidden spike pits, guilitines, alarms and some dovermans which were kindly donated to use from montgomery mansion. As you can see there senor we have the cameras covering all area's of the tower and here is the remote to operate the secret exit and entry.

El Senor Ding Dong: Oh thanks Gill, this looks like the spot ill take it.

The screen then quickly flicks to a more sombre scene where captain insane O is in a hospital bed sorrounded by surgeons. Our poor hero has bandages over his eyes. The head surgeon who seems to look quite depressed moves closer to the captain.

Dr Unterhiener: Um Captain Insaneo ive got good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first.

Captain Insane O: I would like to hear the good news doctor.

Dr Unterhiener: You will live you have no broken bones and most of your cuts have healed but.....

Captain Insane O sits up and interupts

Captain Insane O: But what.....

Dr Unterhiener: In the scuffel with your tag team partner the phantom we dont know if its the glass that got in your eyes or the hits to the face but you have severe damage to the optical nerves and there is a major chance that you will be blind for the rest of your life.

Captain Insane O: Oh NO OOOOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!

The crowd yawns after seeing somthing that looks like the current plot on neibours the big screen changes yet again to another image. This time of the phantom colapsed under a park picnic table that is near the stadium carpark, the phantom seems to be cudling a scantly clad Aboriginal woman and two objects one that remarkably looks like the world title and an empty 4.5 lt bottle of jim beam.

the phantom awakens with blood shot eyes and a stuble covered face and rubs his head wondering how he came to wake in the park, looks down and see's his pants around his ankles, he quickly pulls them up and bolts. the camera folows shaking and bumping on the way the phantom finally stops in a locker room inside the stadium and finaly realises theres a camera man in the room.

The Drunken Phantom: What the fuck are you doing here!!!


Camera man: Um you employed me last night Mr Phantom sir to do a documentry on your wrestling career.

The Drunken Phantom: what the?? I dont rember that but i did have a little bit to drink last night i might of blacked out. That would explain why i dont rember going to the park the aboriginal woman or this belt.

The phantom looks at the belt and realises what belt it is

oh shit thats brandels belt did i flog it or did i beat him for it idont have a clue, last thing i rember was having a few drinks with the captain.... awwww my brain hurts.

Camera man: Actually Mr Phantom sir ive got all of last nights action on tape if you want to watch it will fill in some blanks.

The camera man sets up a tv and video player and runs the tape it starts of with captain insaneo and the phantom both drunk, the phantom a lot more drunk then Insane O going to the bottle o and getting a ute full of grog and the captain winning a promotion to win a 4.5 lt bottle of jim beam, the duo then go back to the stadium and drink for a bout an hour more then insaneo and the phantom get in a heated conversation about there lack of matches and then the phantom argly picks up a micro phone and goes down to the ring and causes a seen which eventualy ends up in a bashing of his friend Captain Insane O, the phantom then leaves the ring goes back to his dressing room and on his way runs into reg and brandel, reg challenges him to match so they have one that is rudely interupted by Sir quincey and his ragamufin brother so they leave and go back to the phantoms change room and drink up a storm and brandel who is quite pissed offers the phantom to try on his belt which he does and then the three blokes realize theyare runing out of grog so they send the phantom who grabs the jimbeam 4.5 lt to have as a roady and gets to the bottleo to find out that its closed so he sits down out the front of the bottle o mand drinks the beam until five drunks who are walking past one of them the aboriginal woman from the park who introduces her self as Barb.

The drunken phantom gets up and turns off the tape.

The Drunken Phantom: I dont want to see any more.. oww shit i must of pounded heath aw fuck i might of killed him oh shit what can i do

Brandell Runs Down to the ring whilst the Phantomis still on display.....


Brandell: Phantom!!! You took my belt you idiot and I want it back. I don't belive this... We are all having a casual drink, and I give you the opportunity to see what it feels like for just asecod and you go and take it from me. I want that damn belt back in my possession by tonight or I'll get the authorites involved in this matter.
Just return the note with a simple apology and I'll let all of this run by the sweet side.

As Brandel his still in the ring the ACDC clasic TNT is played and the Phantom walks out ontop of the ring with Brandels belt on his shoulder.

Phantom: Brandel ive got your belt but ive got idea im happy to give you back your belt if you have a charity match where all money raised goes towards the Captain Insane O fund to help him handle he's new disbility and maybe get him a seeing eye dog, oh and bye the way it will be a title fight.

the phantom then leaves the scene with a fuming brandel left in the centre of the ring