The show show begins with security guards have been alerted to meet at the loading dock where a limo is schedualed. Moments later a limo does in fact arrive, however; security guards cut off and block the view of who is in the limo

After the victory of 'No Hope' Roger Bosset over the Avatar, the suprisingly familiar 'Stayin Alive' hits the arena. A mob of security guards burst from backstage and flood ringside, the walkways and set up a ramp into the ring. After everything is sorted, MrCharisma comes from backstage seated in a wheel chair and is being pushed by KassandRa into the ring.

MrCharisma: Thank you, thank you all for that wonderful standing applause.

The Cheif: We stood Up?
Redguy: Shut up the champ is speaking!
The Cheif: sigh

MrCharisma: It's unreal to know how much I was missed. I recieved hundreds of Get Well cards and kebabs. Unfortunately after that beating I recieved

Crowd roars

MrCharisma: I'll assume your cheering because of the hundreds of kebabs and you hoped for one, right? Well anyway the doctors have told me that I've recieved hidious damage to the muscles in my back which could easily take a couple of months to heal. So until then I will remain in this wheelchair to aviod causing further damage.

KassandRa: Two weeks ago Brian Randell won the oppotunity to face the Hardcore champion MrCharisma. Ironically it was Randell who put MrCharisma in hospital SO I tell you Chris Walker-Bush, MrCharisma will not be able to fight Randell tonight. I've studied your rules and MrCharisma must defend his title at least once a month or forfiet the title. This gives us two shows plus the pay per-view before the title can be stripped. So I ask that we delay the match until the pay per-view. If my client MrCharisma can not defend his title, the challanger Brian Randell will win it unopposed.

KassandRa pushs MrCharisma back to their locker room with the aid of the security guards accompanying them the entire way, before finally guarded he closed door

In the secrecy of the Bell cave Tonto is on sullenly sitting on the lounge alone eating the remains of a large goose, with packets of empty chips, rice, tacco shells, homus, Mc Donalds continers, kfc burger wrapers and many used plates covered with food scraps that make a blanket over the normaly swept earth. The toilet is flushed and Rose Burn comes in to the room and walks past the newly created roasting pit tonto made for the goose and sits next to Tonto and trys to calm him.

Rose: Its alright Tonto baby you tryed to help Senor Ding Dong you did what you thought was best.

Tonto: Sniff, sniff, I cant believe he said that and to a complete stranger we've known each other for years were a team. I think fame is finally going to his head. Ooh there is only one way i can get over this.

Rose: What is it honey.


Tonto: More food.

Rose: But my big mexican moo moo, you ate every thing including the essences of food you ate all the terragon and drank all the soy sauce and you emptyed your wallet with all that junk food you bought on the way back from the pub.

Tonto: He made this grief he can pay for it.

Tonto jumped up and runs off screen

Tonto: Agh ha the safe

The jumbotron cuts away from the ridiculous and time consuming antics of Tonto and Rose Burn. The crowd yawns in relief. Roving ASWF reporter, Micky j, decked out in a figure hugging purple spandex bodysuit is in the parking lot. A stretch limo, with the union jack painted on the roof, swings into the lot. A stocky chauffeur gets out of the front and opens the back door. Out steps first Dr Winegrass, followed by Sir Quincy Penfold the Third, and finally, Lord Petherington. SQP3 is wearing the belt he has defended so regularly and humbly.

Micky j: (dancing around like a leprechaun)Oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!! Jee willy winkins, thank youse god for this opportunity! Me missus is real down and i need to secure some prime interviews to gets me some dosh!! otherwise i meet be out on me bum, you know. Any earth shattering news i can break? spares a newsflash could ya for a man down on his luck?

SQP3: No.

LP: Oh he SA-ys!

Micky j: please Gov, i've got me a right itch going on. i needs me medicine or my legs going to fall offs thems doctors says!! (Micky j starts to cry)

SQP3: No.

LP: Oh i Sa-y!!

Micky j: (weeping) Please sir!!

SQP3: No.

LP:Right you are SIR-RR!!

They reach the door. SQP3 pauses and turns around to Micky j who is now lying in the featel position on the parking lot floor. Micky j looks up hopefully...

SQP3: No.

SQP3 shuts the door and walks into the centre. What does this mysterious, seemingly super hero like, champion have planned for tonight?

El se·ñor Ding Dong enters the bell cave by the secret entry to be welcomed to the mouth watering smell of a roast dinner and to the sounds of bickering and in a huff rose burn storms past then slows down and with a gaze that seems to pause time El se·ñor Ding Dong and Rose Burn seem to be lost in each others eyes until rose finaly turns around and disapears throught the exit. El se·ñor Ding Dong walks into the main cavern wondering what that was about and runs into tonto munching and chewing on a huge roast leg of meat and the rest of the carcass rotating on a spit in the middle of the cavern.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Mmm that smells nice what kind of.....

El se·ñor Ding Dong realises what kind of animal thats roasting on the spit it's too big to be lamb or pig and it's an unusual shape for a cow.

Tonto: Senor im sorry i was starving and we ran out of food and i forgot the combo.........

El se·ñor Ding Dong screams in anger and frustration

El se·ñor Ding Dong: You mexican imbicile, tub of lard, stomach for a brain bastard, HOW DARE YOU SCORCH MY STEED, GET OUT GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!!!

El se·ñor Ding Dong grabs the closest thing to him which is a big cast iron frying pan and hurles it at the fleeing mexican

Brandell is sitting in the back room after seeing Mr Charisma's little sappy speech...

Brandell:What is up with this wog, I only gave him a tap and he's been out now for a couple of weeks, this is quick becoming a farce. I demand that he take the ring this week. It has to be his last chance!! I have toiled long and had for a chance at some shot of a title belt....Hold on, Brandell Picks up the Phone...Yeah Bushy, I want SPQ this week, yeah yeah yeah I don't care, i don't want his title, I just want a man on man match. If I win however, I want Charisma next week and SPQ at the PPV. It's all bull I didn't even hit him that hard in the first place...Well I want a title shot soon I deserve it dammit!!

Reg:Tell him I want that Steel faggot this week as well!!

Brandell:And Reg wants Steel...Ok good...Yeah well Penfork never actually beat me it was Charisma so one of them has gotta go down! Ok well get back to me then...Nice talking to ya big balls.

Brandell hangs up and reapplies some ice to his head...

(Footage plays from very early in the day. An unidentified man rides a Ducati through the parking lot right into the lift. With the engine still running he presses the button for the second floor and the door closes. The two people in the lift start coughing and one asks him to turn of the bike as the smoke is getting to them. The man doesnt reply he just revs the engine hard and fills the elevator with smoke. The other man drops to the floor coughing as the elevator opens at the second floor. The man rides out and directly to his dressing room where he pulls a huge bag out of his locker and opens it to reveal a myriad of interesting objects including, cricket bats, baseball bats, hockey sticks, tennis raquets, darts, a bowling ball, a fencing foil and a french bread stick he places these all back into the bag then pulls off his helmet to reveal to the always present camera that it is Chopstick he then takes out his phone and shuts the locker room door to exclude the cameras. Footage cuts)

The jumbotron now flicks to the scene of a funeral at the Evergreen cemetery where there is quite a large celebrity turn out Brandel, Reg Reagan, Bert Newton, Belvadear, Patty Newton, Rose Burn, Heath Ledger, John Eales, a masked man in purple tights with a white horse and the legendary El se·ñor Ding Dong. Father Unterrheiner finishes the eulogy and El se·ñor Ding Dong starts weeping and rose burn goes to his aide while this is happening Brandel, Reg and Bert are sinking a few KB's while the Man in the purple tights is openly weeping over the casket.

Man in purple tights: She was a great steed i should of never gave her a way she was hell of a lot better then this old nag.

The man strokes the white horse and Heath Ledger comes up to the man and they both look at each other then look at the closeness between Rose and El se·ñor Ding Dong.

Heath Ledger: Nice out fit i wouldnt mind one like that when i become a wrestler, nice horse as well.

Man in purple tights: Yes thanks young lad but this costume is a family eirloom.

Heath Ledger: I dont think i got your name sir?

As heath is talking to the mysterious gentleman Brandel, Bert and reg are getting chummy having a few KB's and Bert is getting quite red in the face then suddenly Bert grabs Reg and trys to snog him and with one clean hit bert is nocked arse over end and lands unconcious on the ground and reg and brandel laugh and somthing is grunted.

Man in purple tights: You can call me the ghost who walks my lad the ghost who walks .

The mysterious man then jumps on his horse pats Ding dong on the back an whispers into the ears of ding dong and Rose and then rides off into the sunset

Man in purple tights: Away Hero away

Sir Quincy Penfold the third is sitting in his members box high in the stands of the ASWF arena. He watches the promo of the funerul. He paces the room. Dr Winegrass is reading a book on monodogany and Lord Petherington is snoring loudly on a sofa. SQP3 is sporting his usual platnium handlebar moustache as well as silver suspenders over a union jack vest.

SQP3: So Ding dong has found some new friends. The famed thes-PI-AN, Heath ledger, and the latest PRO-geny of the walker dynasty, The PHAN-tom. Should i be worried? No! I am the un-DI-spu-TED CHAMP-i-ON of the globe. I have beaten him three times now! NO more title shots ever!! No more title shots for anyone!! No MORE, NO MORE NO MOREEE!!

LP:(rolling over) Oh i sayzzzzzzz.

Phone rings. SQP3 picks it up off the desk?

SQP3: You may speak!.....Oh its you?......Whats the shizzle is going on with the dilly dally? WH-WH-WHAT!? Your not going to be here tonight? You polly waffle eating, mangrove child of a retchid farmer!! Your fired you hear!! YOUR FIRED!!

(SQP3 slams down th phone)

SQP3: Wine-GRASSssss!! Get Williamson on the sky link and tell him we need Client number 16 removed from the EM-porium employer list. See that his children are taken by social services and all our donations to him are retrieved.

SQP3 stares out the window and curses. Mr Charisma is about as useful to him at the moment as a paraplegic gopher. He wonders who will be the next to try and rest his baby from him. He goes over to the table and picks up his title belt and kisses it passionately.

After the funeral the wake was held in El Senor Ding Dongs dressing room where alot of drinks have been had and most of the guets have left except for Rose Burn, El Senor Ding Dong who has lost his helmet some where durring the wake and Heath ledger who is passed out under a table withhis hair painted black and a pair of purple underpants over his head and a hillarious mostache drawn on his face that resembles some what like Ding Dong's . In a alchol fueled rush of pashion rose burn snogs Ding dong who half way through the kiss relises what hes doing and pushes her away.

El Senor Ding Dong: Im worry rose this is worong..burp..hic..

Ding dong then turns away and falls into the open cupboard and closes the door and passes out. Rose burn leaves the room mumbling to her self with out knowing tonto is out side hidding in the shaddows listening to her drunken ramblings.

Rose Burn: Ohh that kiss was so lovley....i...i dind even know there was that kind of chemistry between us

As rose leaves tonto rushes in the room to slaughter who ever touched his girlfriend to see Heath is the only person there.

Tonto: What a piece of worthless trash your not worth touching it looks like Brandell and reg had some fun with you. You worthless magot. Things are going to change now heath this is now war ill be back you might not hear me but you will feel the consequences of my wrath.

Tonto leaves the room with heat radiating from his furious little fat body

Brandell and Reg are sitting in recliners beside Brandells backyard pool, they are both obviously pissed beyond their limits...

Brandell: You know Reg that was a lovely funeral, who was it for again?

Reg: I don't know....Apparently he was built like a horse

The two have a chuckle.

Brandell:I'm sorry about those tag belts mate, he was cheating and shit aye.

Reg:Yeah that Party Pool and his bitch boy Stink or Stank or something...You know what I can't wait to get my hands on that prick and show him that he may have the strength but he hasn't got shit when it comes to fighting.

Brandell:I hear ya bro...Man I wish Busie would get back to me about figthing Pen Faggot. I just want to lay the smack down on the little bitch. And I reckon I know just the people that would help me.

Brandell picks up the phone.

Brandell:Yeah I was wondering if I could speak to Mr......

Camera Fades.

On the stage there is a series of explosions then the release of fire works then there is a roar of an engine and a harley davidson comes down the ramp with a fat little figure with a poncho and sombrero and dark sunglasses on and with a base ball bat straped to the front of the harley. The bike stops in front of the ring and the figure grabs the bat then jumps into the ring.

Tonto: Im now free of the shackles of being a lackie for that senile old fool Ding Dong he might have a lot of connections and got plenty of money in his pocket and be a wanabe sporting supper star. Ha he was in the spanish olympic team in barcelona but but what did he do he got thrown off his horse in the cross country and got his arse punctured in the fencing. Ive finaly had it with that mumma's boy. Im now anouncing to the crowd and my fellow wrestlers that im a free agent , ive had enough of protecting the innocent and fighting for justice, i want to do things my way so if any wrestler needs a hand wink wink nudgenudge......
Just give me the golden handshake and ill' woop some sorry arse for you.

Tonto hops on the harley and just before he starts the engine he stops

Tonto: And oh yeah Ding Dong & Ledger your toast

Card for Show Seven

Senor Ding Dong to take on Tonto in a grudge match! Who will Rose Byrne side with? What of The Phantom and Heath Ledger's allegiance?

Brandell has been granted his World Title shot against Sir Quincy Penfold III

Reg Reagan will do battle with Party Boy to score a measure of vengeance after last week's tag title loss

Chris Walker-Bush has given MrCharisma an ultimatum. Turn up this week, or defend his title on a Fatal Four Way next week.

Welcome to the Party Scene, your weekly look at the happenings in the ASWF. With your host Party Boy.

Party Boy: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, pimps and hoes, people opf all ages. This is the PAAAARTY SCENE, I am your wonderful host Party Boy. Last week we saw a title match for the ages, it was for the Tag Team title. Where myself and Steel set out to get ourselves the titles off some redneck fag, and an ugly piece of shit. Which we did very very very convincingly. Some would even say easily. Roll the footage.

On the Tv screen comes up footage of Steel and Party Boy beating the hell out of Reg and Randy and being awarded the Tag Team Titles.

Party Boy: Oh man was that ever sweet!!!!!!! But the big news to come out of the latest week, is one half of the loser patrol Reg wants to take me on for revenge. I say, bring it on you redneck piece of shit, I will take down fuckups like you in a heartbeat. You obviously did not learn your lesson last week, so tonight I am going to teach you another lesson. You mess will the Bull you get it's horns! Think back to me kicking your worthless ass last week.... This week I am going to do so much more to you, you will be eating through a straw for the rest of your life! But I am only going to take you on, with one stipulation! And that is, it will be a Hell in a Cell, first Blood match. Where the first person to bleed is the loser. So boy I am going to make you bleed so bad, you will be in the biggest world of pain! And another thing, Steel will acompany me to the ring just so we don't have any unwelcome visitors, like your fag friend Randy. Tonight infront of everyone here, my adoring fans, I am going to embarrass you even more so then you normally do yourself. So tonight, walk your drunk pathetic ass down to the ring, and get ready for me to open the biggest can of whoop ass on you! This is the Party Scene, brought to you in colaboration with the Party Corporation. Peace out!

Brandell and Reg walk down to the ring after Party fag has left....

Brandell: Now everybody in the house give me a who's your daddy!!

The audience reply appropriately.

Reg: You say what maggots!!

Audience yell even louder.

Brandell: Now thats what I'm talking about. We decided to come down to the ring just to fill you up on all the detail thats going down. Turns out that I'm actually wrestling for the championship tonight...

The crowd Cheers

Brandell:Turns out that Bushie has finally heard my cries and I'm going up against that no good son of a bitch Penfold. And yes it might be tough but I know that we'll pull through won't we maggots!!!

Audience replies "Hell Yeah"

Brandell:Cause I'm sick of hearing that British poof, talking about how he's the god of wrestling, we'll Penfold if your the god of wrestling get ready for one hell of an armageddon tonight bitch. Tonight is my night and nobody, I say NOBODY is gonna get in between me and that belt!

Reg:And don't you worry about anyone else interferring big fella cause win or lose tonight I'll be right here ringside with ya. And I have a message for that poofta Party Fag! I don't want no sissy first blood match how bout a hell in a cell last man standing match! First blood is waaaaay to easy bitch, time to learn how a man wrestles little boy!!

Brandell:So tonight get ready for a rollercoaster ride of thrills and spills as me and Reg show two bitches that if you cross an ocker you not only get burned but we piss on your ashes as well.

Brandell and Reg walk out of the arena to cheers of Brandell Brandell Reg Reg Brandell...

Live streeming on Party Cam.

Party Boy: Yo listen up Reg. Once again you come back at me with calls I have used on you. Where as I call you a Fag, it is not far off the mark. You call me a fag back, yet I have 10 hoes waiting for me in my dressing room. You are the most worthless and pathetic excuse for a life I have ever seen! You are the reason contraception was invented! Your disguistingly obese mother should have closed her legs when your dad was looking for action. Your toothless yokel father should have settled for the blowjob when your lard ass mother wanted some! But Jealousy is the word that springs to mind, you wish you were half the man I was, you has been piece of shit! If I was you I'd wish I was me too! I am Hot, you are not, I am a perfectly chiseled specimen of Man, you are a slab of shit thrown together, I am a world tag champion, your a use to be something but no one remembers what, I get so much sex from so many bitches that my dick will probably fall off when I am older, you pull so hard that you will be blind before too much longer! I got the skills, I got the looks and I got what it takes to send you into early retirement. So you want a last man standing match? I say eat shit! The match will now be a 3 stages of hell match. 1st match, no holds barred submission match, 2nd match is a first blood match, 3rd match is the last man standing match. You will never forget this day, I am going to beat the fuck out of you and wipe the floor with your hillbilly, redneck, trailer park trash, cousin fucking, cock sucking, pathetic ass! In each stage I am going to smash you so bad you will wish you were in bed with your man randy instead! Tonight is the night you pay for all the crap that comes out of your mouth. And when I have won the match, Steel and I are going to beat you even further so you will be carried out of here into a hospital! But a worthless loser like you might not get into a hospital because of your bad hygene so I will get you into a nice vet, and how about a shout you a nice tick bath while you are there? I mean it is the least I can do after beating the living shit out of you! Well that's about it, Look forward to kicking your ass tonight Reg! It's on like donkey kong, and you are going down like a clown charlie brown! Das bout it yo! Peace out Party people!!!!

Ater Party Boy's little rant "Am I ever gonna see the biff again" screams through the arena and Reg appears on the titanatron...

Reg: You know it always amazes me that out of everything you have to complain about to me the number one thing you always bitch about is me calling you a fag. Do I hit a little bone their party boy? And what is with this "I AM SO MUCH A MAN" HORSESHIT? Look at what you call yourself "Party Boy", you must partyreal hard and screw alot of bitches hey, is that in between the ice cream cake or the pass the parcel?? No a real man knows when he's defeated and doesn't actually have to resort to call about someone being a redneck, GET IT RIGHT MATE I'M A FRIGGIN OCKER. Rednecks are those poofter American wanks!! I have no problem about where I'm from and what my dad did or didn't do, atleast I know mate unlike your generation where your mother probably just opened her legs up at an occassion. What was it like having 125 Daddies but not knowing which was your real one?? Tonight's the night I pay for the crap that comes out of my mouth? Tonight is the night you learn that being a man means learning from you mistakes, and your first mistake was crossing my path, I'm going to make you pay for that alleged victory of yours and it's not going to be just once but three times. The only manly thing I have seen you do so far is take up this challenge, and it will be your downfall. Reg is Ready he's Primed, and your unlucky C%nt cause he ain't gonna be kind...

Party Boy comes back out to the ring for a special announcement.

Party Boy: Hello Ladies! You know the Party Boy is alot like a rubix cube, the more you play with me, the harder I get! This leg will be known as Christmas, and this leg will be known as New Year's! So ladies, why don't you all come visit the Party Boy between the holidays!
Now down to Business..........REG, REG, REG. Such hostility towards me! Maybe that hostility comes from me kicking your ass last week. I think all this aggression you are showing is really fear! You know you are not in my league, you know you can't beat me, you know that when I am finished with you, you're going to be in the house of pain! You are like one of those kids in primary school that all his calls are just turnarounds of the other kids calls, which makes that kid look pathetic, and you are the pathetic kid! Maybe you could get your cousin who is 32 and he is huge to come beat me up hey?
HAHAHAHA it is like a comedy act everytime you come out to the ring wether it is to talk or wrestle. You always make a fool of yourself! I have been sitting backstage with all my bitches and we have been laughing so hard at the comedy act which is you and Randy! I really feel bad having to come out here and beat you down, because it is so easy. I feel like I am beating a special kid.
Let Party Boy take out his magical, invisible crystal ball. He sees Reg...he sees Brandell...good news, you're still ASWF ex tag team champions - but hold on, it's a little foggy....ah there it is, clear as crystal. It's a picture of Party Boy whipping both your monkey asses all over this ring!
Now, Bad ass, you run your mouth about tonight. Well, here's the situation. Party Boy says this, if the Party Boy hits you he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours Loser!
So buddy, if you are looking for Sympathy from the crowd, You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between shit and suicide! So tonight in this ring, in front of all these amazing fans, I'm gonna stick your head so far up your ass your gonna have to cut holes in your nipples to see! On top of all that, look at this guy? I mean he's a idiot, he's 100% pure idiot. You put his brain in a parakeet... zing! It'll fly backwards.
I don't have 30 days and 30 nights, to show you why all the hoochies say there's nothing finer than then a Party Boy 69er, but all I need is one night to have your wife call me for the rest of her life, the big bad booty daddy, so this goes to all my freaks out there, Party Boy is your hook up, hollar if you hear me!
Tonight this wonderful crowd will let you know YOU SUCK, just incase you have forgotten!
That's all I have to say you worthless Warren!
And all you out there, Well ladies, if you want to cross the finish line in first place with the Party Boy just hop aboard this stallion and ride bareback.

PEACE I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!

Before Party Boy leaves the Titanatron flickers on once more with Reg...

Reg: Hold your ass bitch. How is it that I am the one thats supposed to steal everyone's lines when you seem to recycle classics all by yourself. Mate you are nothing but a cheap cocky imitation of every surfer faggot that thinks he's the bee knee's. I on the other hand am an original bad mother fucker pure bred on the streets of Redfern, I wasn't trained to fight, I learned myself from the beatings that I had handed to me. You think you can deal out punishment to me? I've got news for ya buddy, I have been punished by the best, beaten up by the worst and I am still standing, partly so I can show dropkick dickweeds like yourself what a hard life is all about. You didn't kick anyones ass last week, just watch this...

Tape plays showing party boy with a handful of Brandell's tights getting the pin.

Reg: What's that you cheated? Oh poor Party Boy can't win a clean fight, and then you run off outside. Now I won't kick up a stink about the belts, cause belts mean nothing to me.What matters to Reg Regan and Brandell is our Pride, Our Pride in the fact that we never go down without a fight. So you hold onto your precious little belts boys cause I don't care about them at all, you just watch you teeth bitch, cause tonight in the ring infront of all those people, I'm going to kick your teeth so far down your throat that you'll have to learn how to eat out of your asshole. So rant on with your bullshit cause I've heard it all before, and hey you might get alot of women but atleast I can sleep rest assured that I am and will always be the better man on any night than your sick sorry ass!!!

Brandell and Reg are preparing backstage...

Brandell: Tonights the night Reg, I can feel it in my blood. It's been a long time comming but I think tonight I can win that belt.

Reg:It's all about belief man, if you think you can you will. That's how I'm going to beat Party Boy, the kids got no heart in it, he only cares about the titles.

Brandell: Yeah man you'll handle him tonight and if you need any help hollar and I'll be there for you. Sir Quincy Penfold will finally meet his match tonight, he will finally fall down and sucumb to the better wrestler. I am sick and tired of seeing him weasle his way out of his matches and he will pay for his sins.

Reg:What are you a friggin priest or something?

Brandell:Nah cunt, I'm going to become his new Messiah. And all it's going to take is One, Two, Three....

The two high five each other and continue warming up.

Party Boy is seen outside his dressing room on Party Cam.

Party Boy: Oh Reg, you came back out again, did the bar tender cut you off again? You like to think I cheated, so you can feel better about you being a loser! Look at the record books, it won't say how I won, but that I won. And that's all that matters! Much the same tonight when I beat your ass, you come out running your mouth about god knows what, annoying people with your shitty song, what is it called again, is it? "Am I ever guna take the cock again?" I find it difficult to comprehend how you keep finding a reason to wake up in the morning. Maybea couple of weeks ago when you has a title there was a reason, but now there is not much is there? Maybe I should do you a favour and do away with you hey? Also you stupid bastard, I am not a surfer boy, I am a Party Boy, everybody knows there ain't no party like a party boy party! And I don't think i'm the bees knees, I know it! You say you never go down in a fight, you say the best man will always win, tonight you will stay down after our fight, tonight the best man will win, and the best man is me! You are going to be a human punching bag, and I ain't guna stop until you are a mess on the ground. Then I am going to dance up a storm on your head, party down with the crowd, go back to my dressing room and party some more with my 5 gorgeous hoes. You see, I do care about titles, I have respect for my one, which you never had! And that is why you got your ass kicked and Steel and I took your titles. Your worthless, pathetic, and not worthy of being in the same ring as me. But I am going to make sure after were finished, that you can't get in a ring again! So I will see you out there, bright and early for your ass whooping! Peace out FOOOOOOOL!

El Senor Ding Dong is on his way to the ring and hears the ramblings of party boy echoing back stage and in his travels he runs into Reg Reagan.

El Senor Ding Dong: Did you hear that Reg, gee I would be careful porteviour, I use to do charity work in community health in regional nsw if that bloke little boy is having sex with all those women bare back with out protection he would have many diseases so Senor Reg i would wear a rubber body suit or somthing because if he bleeds on you and your got an open cut you could catch aids or somthing.

Reg: Thanks for the advice mate

In a crummy hotel some where Tonto is getting up out of a pile of fish and chip papers and lots of pizza boxes, tonto rubs and shakes of the crumbs and cockroaches and grabs his mobile phone and dials.

Tonto: Ah Mr Bush how are you, i was just ringing to see if i can have the chance to strip that ding dong dope of what is holding him by a thread.................. Yes Mr Bush I would like to challenge Ding Dong for his tittle..................... Yes i know he wants a royal rumble but he will do any thing to show off in front of his new posser mates i think he will do it. Thanks Mr Bush...... Bye.

Tonto ends the call and puts the phone down then nestles back into his spot under all the junk and chuckles to himself.

Tonto: With out that tittle he will be back where he started a no body and with out fame and his head in the spot light ding dong will fall a way to nothing... ha,ha,ha.. This is more then a grudge match now El Senor Ding Dong.

SQP3 paces the room backward and forward, backward and forward. He is yet to get any kind of reliable response from tonto or Mr Charisma. He invisions being out there alone in the ring with Brandell and that little fox terrier of a man, reg Reagen. He shudders. He feels dirty enough at the idea of touching the human waste basket, but the thought of losing his title to such a beastly character is unbearable. That insepid creature gyrating his rotting hips, with SQP3's beloved belt perched on his infected carcassy smelly body. he shakes his head furiously to relieve himself of that disturbing image. He needs a plan. He wiggles his platnium handlebar moustache that has long been his trademark. He ponders some more. What can he do?

Reg is sitting down with a KB just before his match when he spots the camera...

Reg:Oh G'day, I'm about to go into this big match with Party Boy, but before I go I just want to make one thing clear. I repect the bloke for his desire to win, I respect the bloke cause he has balls not to throw down a challenge. But any bloke who decides to gloat about a victory that he cheated on can never gain my full respect. Tonight this feud that is quickly becoming 'same shit different smell' ends. I am sick of hearing him gloat, if he wants to bring his Steel bitch down then bring it on. I am more than ready to del with the both of you at once. Tonight I make my claim for a shot at Charisma, I have proven myself a worthy competitor on and out of the ring. Party Boy will be my stepping stone to a greater prize...

Brandell is sitting in the change room by himself, he is already in costume. He is continually looking up into the heavans perhaps to gain some sort of answer from something. He gets up and walks to his locker and grabs the picture of his father The Great 'Impotence Man'. Brandell begins to pace back and forth trying to psyche himself up more for the big match, he stops, looks at the photo one more time plants a bit of a kiss on it. Al of a sudden a knock on the door...

Backstage Guy:It's time Mr Brandell.

Brandell:I'm on my way.

Brandell looks up again and as he walks out screams 'This One's For You'.

Party Boy is talking backstage to Steel.

Party Boy: Who the hell does Reg think he is, he is lucky I don't come back there now and smash him all over the place!

Steel: Looks like you will have to teach him some respect the old fashioned way.

Party Boy: Yeah I know, no one messes with me! I mean shit we are the tag team champs, I am a huge superstar!

Steel: That you are buddy, Reg is going to be fortunate that you are in the ring tonight with him. He will be getting a smackdown layed on him, by the greatest there is or ever will be!

Party Boy: Totally, I am going to teach that little bitch the lesson straight from the school of hard knocks! He also says I am a stepping stone to Charisma, man I am a god damn road block, a U-Turn, a do not pass go do not collect $200 fuckin dollars. The only stepping will be my foot on his head!

Steel: Oh man I wish I was fighting him tonight, I want to crush him! Call me a bitch, he is nothing but a worthless piece of shit! I will have my time infront of him too, and he is going to pay even more so.

Party Boy: Das right dawg, he ain't guna walk by the time I am finished with him. I am going to kill him, ressutate him, then kick his ass some more! I am lucky to be fighting such a loser, it will be over for him nice and quickly then I can get backstage to my bitches.

Steel: What about what the senor dickhead said about you?

Party Boy: Man he is yet another player hater jealous of my wheelings and dealings! I am clean as, not a trace pf a disease, all my hoes are of the highest quality, they have to run through a program before they get a go with me. They have to meet the Party Boy quality assurance standard.

Steel: Yeah man your honeys are real fine, damn fine, mighty fine!

Party Boy: Yeah booooooooi das da way I like it yo! Me, da bitches and some party juice! Getting busy, down and time to party!

Steel: You ready for tonight?

Party Boy: Hell yeah I am ready, He won't know where he is when I am finished with him! But for now it is time to relax with a hoe massage!

Party Boy walks into his dressing room, with one of his hoes, only dressed in a towel.

Sir Quincy Penfold the third has been tucked away with the rebellious monk fine tuning the last snippets of his handlebar moustache. He is dressed in silver pants which are held up by union jack suspenders. He is wearing no shirt but has a union jack draped around his shoulders. He has his title belt under his arm. He is pumped and ready for his match. Another ASWf backstage guy, smelling like parmason cheese and oregamo, enters.

Smelly backstage urchin: Its time to go, Sir Quincy. Your on.

SQP3: Indeed. (while walking to the ring) No more pollywaffle i guess. Its time to show the world the spick and shine of the higher classes. Its time to stand up and deliver the crushing blow of finality. Once agan the workers are revolting in there greedy sentiment of self indulgence. If only they had a truth self amongst them. Tonight it is my turn to deliver the message of divinty and strike down those that would try to argue for sharing the wealth. (gets to the entrance way) Yes, life is a continous circle of the big eating the small and defecating them back out, and then having the same deplorable insects raise from there own waste. Tonight is the last world title shot i will give to this insepid crew of waste emergers. It is all so beautiful (takes off his belt and smooches it to the boos of the crowd, he is spinning around in a circle). It all makes sense!! Its clear now what i really must do!! (SQP3 looks up in thanks, and then...... sprints down to the ring, past brandell and into the crowd behind him, frantically trying to escape the arena).

Fans try to stop him but he is clawing upwards and away. Fans are screaming abuse and throwing beers at him. Will SQP3 safely escape his title defence against Brandell? Stay tuned!

(Chopstick Rides his Ducati down to ringside with a baseball bat in hand and climbs off the bike into the ring)

Chopstick: Welcome everybody to the show. Tonight we see some classic matches. Brandell takes on our very own chump Pency Quinfold, Tonto and Ding Dong attempt to take off each others worthless heads, Reg vies for revenge for a lowly title lost to two more lowly wrestlers. Whats in store for yours truly? Well titles hold some lure for me i wont deny it. But for now i am the punisher of those who piss me off. Thas all im here for. Oh that and to introduce my new buddy, Wolf. We call this guy wolf for one major reason and its not because hes hairy. Well here he is the animal of the moment Wolf.

(A huge mn standing 6,5 carries a second Ducati down to the ring under one arm looking embarrassed. wolf whispers something in chopsticks ear after putting the bike down and chopstick laughs)

Chopstick: Well as you can see Wolf here is quite unconventional. Where many would have left the bike behind after realising there are no keys Wolf here just wanted to carry the bugger. Intelligence isnt the only thing that makes a wrestler great in this federation and Wolf is going to borrow mine when he needs it. From now on i wont be fucked over for lack of support. Have you got anything to say Wolf?

Wolf: When do the cheerleaders dance?

Chopstick: Soon my single minded friend soon. To start the bike turn the key dont worry about kicking anything.

(both men start their bikes and ride off)

I'll post results for this show tomorrow, guys. Been busy lately.