ASWF Live kicks off in front of a packed Perth crowd, and it looks to be one helluva night with three titles on the line!

Match One- The Randy Man and Reg Reagan © vs. Party Boy and Steel for the ASWF Tag Titles
Party Boy hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Flying elbow from Party Boy. 1 - 2 - kick out. Party Boy tags out to Steel. Party Boy \ Steel whip Randy into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Steel slams The Randy Man down. The Randy Man fights out of a grapple. Full nelson on Steel...i remember when Warlord used to do that. God he sucked. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Randy tags out to Reg Reagan. Big piledriver on Steel. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Reagan slams Steel down. Reagan walks into a trip. Running knee lift from Steel. Tag to Party Boy. Big kick on Reagan by Party Boy. Reagan tags out to The Randy Man. Hard back suplex on Randy. Party Boy gets a roll-up...and grabs a handful of tights as well! The referee doesn't see it: 1....2...3!! Randy \ Reagan don't look like they're finished by any means...and they rush forward to attack Party Boy \ Steel, and send them to the outside. Threats are exchanged as the chaos ends.
WINNER: Party Boy/Steel by pinfall

Match Two- Chopstick vs. Senor Ding Dong © for the Pacific Title
I missed what happened for a few minutes as i went to get a beer...i'm going to take an educated guess and say that Bruiser Brody made a stunning return and beat everyone up, then left. I'm sticking with that story until proven wrong. DDT from the top rope by Senor Ding-Dong....holy crap, that was sweet. Chopstick walks into a face crusher variation. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Chopstick takes a flying neckbreaker from Senor Ding-Dong. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Chopstick blocks a kick from Senor Ding-Dong. Chopstick uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Weird kick by Chopstick on Ding Dong. Senor Ding-Dong takes the advantage with a punch to the face. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Chopstick is down. Chopstick can barely stand. Here it comes - Juvi Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. Chopstick goes nuts, screaming and yelling at everyone within earshot.
WINNER: Senor Ding Dong by pinfall

We see footage of injured Hardcore champion, Mr Charisma, lying in bed and being cared for by Kassandra. He seems to be barely alive

Match Three- Sir Quincy Penfold III © vs. Senor Ding Dong for the World Title
Super frankenthingy on Ding Dong, who hit hard. DDT from the top rope by Sir Quincy Penfold III....holy crap, that was sweet. Ding Dong walks into a face crusher variation. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Penfold hits a dropkick on Senor Ding-Dong. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Ding Dong pushes out of a Sir Quincy Penfold III hold. DDT by Senor Ding-Dong. Weird kick by Ding Dong on Penfold. Penfold powers out of a headlock. Super frankenthingy on Ding Dong, who hit hard. Tonto comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Clothesline...but Penfold ducks! Senor Ding-Dong gets hit! Sir Quincy Penfold III knocks Tonto out of the ring. Sir Quincy Penfold III floors Senor Ding-Dong...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Bionic Elbowdrop! 1....2....3. Sir Quincy Penfold III goes on the rampage, firing off stiff shots to both Senor Ding-Dong and Tonto, who take the hint and swiftly leave the ring for their own safety.
WINNER: Sir Quincy Penfold III by pinfall

After the match, as Tonto and Ding Dong flee, Shadta takes to Penfold with a chair! The referee immediately calls for a bell, and it looks as if Shadta and Sir Quincy Penfold III will be throwing down here in an impromptu title defence!

Match Four- Sir Quincy Penfold III © vs. Shadta for the World Title
Standing kicky thing by Sir Quincy Penfold III on Shadta. Second rope flying axe handle, Shadta goes down. Shadta kicks Sir Quincy Penfold III in the gut to reverse the momentum. Back elbow connects, Penfold staggers backward. Penfold gets smacked around like a bitch. Shadta throws Penfold into the barbed wire! Penfold counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Shadta takes a rana from Sir Quincy Penfold III. Sir Quincy Penfold III gets whipped into the corner. Shadta charges in, but into a pair of raised boots. Penfold uses a roll up, with feet on the second rope! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! Sir Quincy Penfold III leaves the ring and heads off down the aisle at speed. Penfold has the victory, and isn't hanging around for Shadta to look for revenge.
WINNER: Sir Quincy Penfold III by pinfall

Sir Quincy Penfold the Third darts to his dressing room making rapid twists and dodges every time he sees anyone, be it a wrestler, cameraman or a small girl. He clutches his world title belt in his arms. He gets into his dressing room. He opens the cupboard and removes the back to reveal a trapdoor. He dives through the trap door which is actually a big tube. The tube takes him down onto the street below., where a mini minor picks him up and screeches off. The driver is unidentifiable, but in the back is none other then Lord Petherington, his old chum from Cambridge.

LP: Good SHOW, PEN-fold!! Oh i say!!

SQP3: A ve-RY good show in-DEED!! Nobody is going to take my baby from me (SQP3 smooches the world title).


RING RING< RING RING!

SQP3 almost jumps through the roof!

SQP3:What the hell is that??????Oh its just my phonekins! Greetings?........ Charisma? Where the devil were you tonight?.......don't curse in my presenc-.....
What the hell are you doing in hospital??.....What?....... When did that happen?...
Oh i SEE! Deplorable, absolutely deplorable....So, AH, when will you be back my young friend?......Is that for sure??.......Alright, I'm sending DR Winegrass Jr around with some advice and some incentitive to mend (SQP3 hangs up).

Driver: Where to Sirs?

SQP3:To my HQ compound in Drummoyne, and on the double boy!!

Party Boy comes back to the ring to have his say on the events of tonight. He is escorted down to the ring with Steel and his usual 5 hoes.

Party Tart: Introducing the new ASWF tag team champions, the unstoppable force of Steel and the amazing Party Boy. They would like to say a few words about tonights events.

Party Boy: Yo yo yo to the mother fuckin HO! Man dat shit tonight was tight! You know, Party Boy is a lot like concrete mix. You know? You just get it a little wet, take a step back, and watch it get ROCK HARD!I told yall we would walk out of here Tag team champs, but there is someone we need to thank, well more then one. I would like to thank my partner Steel who was great tonight, I would like to thank my Dad for knocking up my Mum, without those 2 I would not be here today, and a great job they did, I mean look at me, I am great looking, talented, got a huge tonk and the chicks digg me. Oh and last but not least I would like to thank every one of my millions and millions of fans, I would love to thank you all personally but I will just give you al holla now, because if I was to do it personally it would take time off my partying and banging hoes! But thank yall anyways, without your support we would not have got through that match. But as got Randy and Reg, you can go take a flying fuck! Shove your pathetic heads up your pathetic asses, and don't fuck eachother too hard! Anyways yo, IT'S TIME TO PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GETTING ON MY HOE TRAIN BACK TO MY ROOM, GETTING SOME PARTY JUICE, PUTTING ON SOME MOOD MUSIC, DASNCING UP A STORM AND GETTING IT ON WITH EVERY HOE IN MY SIGHT! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO PEACE WE OUTTA HERE.

In the The Old Ship Inn 31, High St Perth after the glorious defence of the Pacific title and the aftermath of the horrible attempt of getting the world tittle for the third time in a row El se·ñor Ding Dong is sitting at the bar alone drinking Tequila shots and coronas. As he is sitting in the bar looking sullen and sad a histeric male fan is jumping around him going nutters.

Hysteric Fan: Oh El se·ñor Ding Dong your the best wrestler in the ASWF!!!, My friend Rose said that you would be here she is dating your pal Tonto. Can i please get your autograph senor.

El se·ñor Ding Dong with head still down shoting another tequila shot looks up and responds

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Yeah sure who to..... dont i know you from some where?

Hysteric Fan: Can you right to your biggest fan Heath Ledger.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Heath Legger!!! you were in my favorite tv show of all time Sweat i learnt english so i could watch episodes that werent poorly sub tittled.

Heath Ledger: So is it ok if i can sit down with the living legend, fighter for peace & justice and pacific champion El se·ñor Ding Dong.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Sure thing, Barman one what would you like Senor Ledger?

Heath Ledger: Call me Heath a Emu Bitter thanks mate.
So Senor whats up next in the plot, do you eventually get the world title.

At that moment Tonto walks in with Rose in arms.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Umm come again Senor .. i mean Heath.

Heath Ledger: The plot whats happening? Your acting arent you its all just a show. Because i sure would like a part may be as a crazy lloon in a purple suit who thinks he's got super powers and wins all his matches because his pals take out the oposition with out me or the ref knowing what happen in the ring. I think i would becalled captain Psycho or somthing. What do you think?

Rose Burn and Tonto are behind the two gentlemen with out the two conversationalists knowing they are there. .

El se·ñor Ding Dong: What acting every thing i do is real, you think that what i do is just one big shinadagan well Mr I played a gay guy on a Aussie drama that you can wrestle well i have to tell you we have enough pretenders out there winning all the titles such as Sir Quincey and Charisma who should both gain aria's for there performances of being injured. Im sorry to get angry with you heath but im just a bit unsettled with these cheats holding these titles that they should not be holding then my own side kick does the same lowly act as these cretons and i was so astounded i was beaten. I am so peaved that im betrayed as a cheat while bert newton and Tonto came to my aide with out my knowledge.

Tonto storms out with Rose following heath turns around and see's her leave.

Heath Ledger: Oh sorry senor i never new that. Senor it would mean alot to me if you let me wrestle with you in a tag team match.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: I dont kow heath tonto and i are supposed to be tag partners but im shocked by his actions it is nice to know he cares but he must respect my morals. He and i both have differrent ways of doing things i think thats why we get on so well. Heath i might need a break from tonto so i would be pleased to wrestle with you but who will we take on.


Heath Ledger: Why not those thugs party boy and steel, they took out your friend Brandel you must stand bye Brandell and take out those dead beats.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Those rapscalions do deserve a beating and that tittle does belong in good hands but allas i think im challenging for to many tittles. If they challenge me yes but your new to this why dont we take on some one small maybe Chopstick or sir quinceys midgets


Heath Ledger: Oh but i want those guys be himiliated. I could stand it if it was acting but this is real if they make aussie party guys look like total womenising idiots any more i will go tropo