ASWF Live kicks off in Brisbane, with fans packed in to see all of the post Bloodied and Broken action. The night kicks off with highlights of all that's gone on during the week, but for the uninitiated, the big news is:

- Chopstick revealed he had something of a relationship with Bert Newton, who is now close friends with Senor Ding-Dong
- Newcomer Jesse Cornish made no friends when she beat down Tonto and challenged Kassandra
- The Party Boy and pwn teamed up to get revenge on Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson for his beating of them at Bloodied and Broken
- The Randy Man shed his persona to return to his former, working class Brandell styling
- MrCharisma was hospitalised after a brutal attack from several ASWF superstars

The night kicks off then, with all of the big news covered....

pwn is in the ring. Out from the crowd comes Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson, who grabs a chair from ringside as he hits the ring. pwn turns, and gets floored by a brutal chair shot. Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson moves in for the kill. On Ice!!! That shook the ring. Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson raises the chair and drives it side-first into the throat of pwn, causing him to roll around in agony. The chair gets put around the head of pwn, who then gets driven face-first into the mat, crushing his wind pipe against the steel. Paramedics come running out to help pwn as Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson exits via the crowd.

Backstage the medics rush pwn to hospital, whilst Chris Walker-Bush breaks the news to Dominion that he'll have no opponent this week.

Match One- Kassandra vs. Jesse Cornish
Terrible brawling from Kassandra. Jesse reverses a Kassandra hammerlock. Jesse hits an arm drag on Kass. The referee is out, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Flying knee to the face from Jesse Cornish. Japanese marks everywhere cream themselves as someone uses a Shining Wizard....it's only a knee for crying out loud! Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Kass backdrops Jesse Cornish out of a piledriver attempt. Jesse takes a vertical suplex. Powerslam from Kassandra on Jesse. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Kass DDTs Jesse Cornish. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Jesse Cornish, like so many teenage boys, uses a right hand. Except in this case, it's for a punch. Flying elbow off the top rope by Jesse Cornish. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Kass reverses a Jesse Cornish hammerlock. Jesse Cornish slugs Kassandra, sending her down into the corner. While Jesse fires up the crowd, Kass is removing the turnbuckle pad! Jesse Cornish comes over...but Kass goes low! Kassandra gets up, then goes for the irish whip into the corner, but Jesse reverses! Kassandra goes head first into them, knocking her silly! Schoolboy from Jesse: 1....2....3! The referee never noticed the exposed turnbuckle. Another referee comes running down the aisle, and points out the exposed steel turnbuckle to the assigned official. The referee reverses the decision! He is disqualifying Jesse Cornish for using it to gain an advantage! Kassandra goes into the crowd, where she celebrates her victory
WINNER: Kassandra by DQ

As Kassandra celebrates, the cage is lowered for the grudge match about to take place. Bear in mind, people, that Frostbite is The Ice's trusty St. Bernard, and not a person.

Match Two- The Ice/Frostbite vs. Party Boy and Steel
Ice \ Frostbite whip Party Boy into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hard legsweep by Ice. Party Boy, like so many teenage boys, uses a right hand. Except in this case, it's for a punch. Party Boy throws Frostbite into the cage. Big backdrop on Ice, executed well. Steel drives Ice into the cage side. Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson ducks a Steel clothesline. Frostbite hits a bulldog off the ropes. Party Boy counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Party Boy has Frostbite down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Through the air, Flying Leg Drop! Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson is in trouble. Cop Killa! Party Boy \ Steel escape the cage for the win. Party Boy \ Steel signal to each other...and they attack Ice \ Frostbite! After an swift brawl, Ice and Frostbite are left down in the ring.
WINNER: Party Boy/Steel

Match Three- Chopstick vs. Senor Ding Dong for the Pacific Title
Spinny weird kick from Senor Ding-Dong. Ding Dong hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Big kick on Chopstick by Senor Ding-Dong. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Legsweep. There's probably a Japanese name for that....like Golden Dragon Nuclear Spike....that'll do, i'll call it that from now on. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Chopstick counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Big kick on Ding Dong by Chopstick. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Ding Dong is down. Senor Ding-Dong pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Cool looking suplex on Chopstick. Bert Newton comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Chopstick turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Newton! Wizard1o1 has left Chopstick in big trouble. Senor Ding-Dong sets Chopstick up in the corner. Splash Mountain!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Chopstick slides to the outside and grabs a chair, then climbs back into the ring. Bert Newton turns around...and gets planted with a huge chair shot to the head! He is left down and out on the canvas.
WINNER: Senor Ding Dong by pinfall

Match Four- Brandell vs. Shadta vs. Tonto for #1 HC contendership
Tonto takes a headbutt from Brandell. Shadta fires off some right and left hands. Tonto ducks a Shadta clothesline. Super kick by Tonto. Tonto crushes Randy with a running butt smash...nothing says 'killer move' like driving your ass into someone else's face. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Lifting DDT by Shadta. 1 - 2 - 3. Shadta defeats Tonto. Randy gets smacked around like a bitch. Spear by Shadta. 1 - 2 - kick out. Brandell takes the advantage with a punch to the face. Brandell scores with a standing spinebuster. Shadta gets knocked to the ground by Randy. Shadta gets locked in the Tea Bag! Submission victory!
WINNER: Brandell by submission

Match Five- Sir Quincy Penfold III © vs. Baron Eric von Crazke for the World Title
Sir Quincy Penfold III strikes Baron. Penfold hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Second rope flying axe handle, Baron goes down. DDT by Sir Quincy Penfold III. Baron Erich von Crazcke reverses a hip toss. Sir Quincy Penfold III takes a butterfly suplex from Baron. Back suplex...Sir Quincy Penfold III got slammed down. 1 - 2 - kick out. Sir Quincy Penfold III ducks a Baron Erich von Crazcke clothesline. Super frankenthingy on Baron, who hit hard. 1 - 2 - kick out. Baron walks into a face crusher variation. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Baron counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Baron Erich von Crazcke snap suplexes Penfold. Sir Quincy Penfold III reverses a hip toss. Sir Quincy Penfold III hits a rolling kick on Baron. Baron Erich von Crazcke gets knocked to the ground by Penfold, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Bionic Elbowdrop, forget about it. 1....2...3! Baron Erich von Crazcke extends his hand to Penfold...but it is ignored!
WINNER: Sir Quincy Penfold III by pinfall

Bert Newton's frame laying blood-soaked and broken at the base of the ring, El se·ñor Ding Dong picks up Bert with the pacific title over one shoulder and Bert cradled in his arms and a single tear running down his face in a rage and resentment El se·ñor Ding Dong yells

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Why Bert, Why, I've got the Pacific title now and I'll get the world title for you Bert.

El se·ñor Ding Dong storms out of the Brisbane Arena with Bert Newton battered, bloodeied and bruised body.

Party boy comes back out to the ring with Steel and his 5 hoes around him. The crowd is going crazy after there big win tonight.

Party Boy: Hey yo yo yo! Wasssssssssup? My god, it is great to be back in Beautiful Brisbane!!!! My home town, the Party Town, the best god damn town in the world. I tell yall it was great to get out here and kick that son of a bitch's ass tonight. So I thought I'd come down to the ring and celebrate with all of you wonderful people! I got everything I need here, Steel, My party juice, and these incredibly sexy hoes, each of them will be getting some party time tonight, if you know what I mean? woooooooooooooo! I wana thank each and every one of you amazing fans, and now it's time to PARTY!

Party Boy proceeds to party down by dirty dancing with all 5 hoes, while Steel Looks on. Party boy stops and sends 2 of his hoes over to Steel, that surely brings a smile to the big mans face.

Steel: Hey everybody! I tell you it is a pleasure to come out tonight and kick the hell out of those to bastards. Party Boy is the most exciting and lethal wrestler I have ever seen, and I am glad to be associated with him, and help kick anyones ass that messes with him! I would also like to thank him for letting me have these to lovely ladies tonight. Now I wana hear all you great crowd let out your biggest cheer for the man, Captain Charisma, the King of Swing, The man who puts the Sex back into Sexy, the one the only PARTY BOY! YEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

The crowd is going wild, chanting TIME TO PARTY, TIME TO PARTY! They certainly do love there hometown hero.

Party Boy: Well thanks everybody you people are awesome! I mean you are alot like me, I just wreek of Awesomeness! But I gota get outa here, can't keep those beautiful hoes waiting can I? Anyways yall, PARTY DOWN!! PEACE WE OUTA HERE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Brandell is sitting backstage after his hard fought victory over Shadta and Tonto...

Brandell:(Screaming) I've done it, I've done it. Your ass is grass now Charisma and I'm the mother fucking ride on lawnmower. Get ready for one of the toughest matches of your career cause I will never lie down for you. Lets just hope you get your hopeless ass out of hospital soon, wouldn't want to face me unprepared...

El se·ñor Ding Dong walks into a dark change room with Mathew Newton and Patty Newton consoling him after taking Bert Newton to the hospital.

SUPRIZE

The lights come on and the changeroom has a banner saying congrats on Pacfic Title Senor, big basin full of ice and Coronas and a table with a cake, enchiladas, tacos, lassagne, party pies, sausage rolls, cheese, savory biscuits, capers, olives, pate, three bottles of tequila and dorrito's. Around this large table with drinks in hands except for Tonto whos tied to a chair to stop him from eating all the food is Isabel, Brandel (with KB in hand), Reg Regan (two KB'S one in each hand), Baron Eric von Crazke, John Eales, Rose Burn, Belvader and a African man in full Zullu in tribal wear.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Wow Oh thanks guys, this is so un expected thanks this is just what is need after that horrible attack.

Mathew Newton and Belvader undo Tonto's ropes and Tonto rushes straight to the Tacco's

Tonto: (With mouthful of tacco)mmm brrurrp..... well hows Bert going Senor (tonto pats El se·ñor Ding Dong on the back)

El se·ñor Ding Dong: He's past out but Dr Unterrhiener said he seems like he can recover.

Tonto: Well thats get that supposed to be a mate little shit crapstick!!, Oshobi inkinoshi Muffika (in Zullu ) The Zulu warior follows Tonto

El se·ñor Ding Dong: No dont Tonto we dont need to use violence this little guy doesnt know what hes messing with he will get whats comming to him, but not now, now we celibrate my win and that Berts in a good condition tommorrow we plan for chopsticks downfall and for my world tittle.

Rose Burn walks over to Tonto to calm him down, John Eales is talking to the Barron on a heated subject, Reg ragean is crushing his KB can on his head, Brandel is chatting to Patty Newton, Matt Newton and Belvader are having a pash, the Zulu and Isabel are in the corner sharing a bottle of tequila and in the other corner El se·ñor Ding Dong is sitting on a stool sipping a bottle of tequila and staring at Tonto and Rose with a sullen gaze.

Sir Quincy Penfold the third has left through the back door of the arenas. He tip-toe'd past the party in Senor Ding Dongs dressing room. He notices that the ridiculous Spaniard seems to have alot of friends all of a sudden. He scoots outside to his waiting stretch limo with the engine already running. Kassandra is already inside. She has a bruised lip.

SQP3:Tally-ho driver! Away! *sigh* (cleaning his title belt, kissing it, talking to it) Did that dirty little ring announcer touch you my baby? My precious precious baby?
Do you love your papa? Yes you do!! (SQP3 notices kassandra) Oh its you. What happened to your lip? Did you get into a fight or something? Not very lady like by jove.

Kassandra: I had a match you pompous prick!

SQP3:Perhaps a cook-off of some sort? I know how you ladies are about your cooking. anyway its all irrevelent anyway. Whats IM-por-TANT is that i am still the world heavyweight champion!! The grand master of wrestling! the fabulous Su-PER no-VA of the ASWF! They can't possibly expect my title to be defended again for some time after i have now systematically destroyed the aspirations of everyone. I've waylaid the baron, sunk the randy man, and levelled the spaniard.

Kassandra rolls her eyes

SQP3:That gigantic goof. I can't believe he'd stoop to outside interference to win a title. Absolutely disgraceful! He ought to be sent to the gallows for his foul behavior! A DIS-grace. Oh i say! How can he even call himself the champion? Yes there is only one true champion in this fed-

Kassandra: Ahem!

SQP3: ? Oh of course... you know i meant two! When does that darling boy get out of the infirmary. I look forward to throwing a party in honour of the ELITE. The greatest party the two most talented wrestlers, and most talented cook (SQP3 winks at kassandra she rolls her eyes), the world has ever been witness to!!

SQP3 cuddles his belt and starts to sing god save the queen. Kassandra puts a pillow over her head.

Brandell was sitting back watching the Television during Sir Quincy Penfold's little chat with Kassandra...

Brandell: Looks like a little bit of friction in that group. I think SPQ's ego will be the end of him, there is no way that that conceited egotistical piece of trash can hold an equal alliance for any length of time. And if he pisses off that Kassandra lady then MrCharisma will have a big decision to make, if he choses worng then I'll be happy to have her manage my affairs...

Reg: Great Night tonight mate. Well except for that pompous prick winning, all seems to be falling into our hands oh so nicely.

Brandell:True Reg, soon we will be the dominant force in the ASWF and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. Now lets get fucked up!!

The two toast with their KBs and down them....

hmm i promo like 3 times and get smashed. nice.

(Chopstick is in his dressing room, footage is playing of Chopstick dressed in the traditional garments of a mexican food delivery man, the time is one hour prior to the match he walks into a room where a large banner is placed on a table upside down. He empties a box of food onto the table and walks into the toilet, whilst there he grabs all of the toilet paper and places it in the now empty box and leaves the dressing room of Senor Ding Dong as he starts to laugh. after the footage on the tv finishes chopstick turns from it and talks to the cameraman)

Chopstick: This hick federation will suffer for this. Every time I lose a match its because of interference. First because of that pompous bastard Penfold then Watergrass now that tv fag Newton. Well its time for that to end. But first I have invited you here to see my new segment. It’s called cooking with Chopstick. On tonights menu is Mexican food. You see my former Mexican friends bell head and the human vacuum cleaner gave me the idea for this show whenboth betrayed a friendship they vowed woul never see any of us enter the ring in opposition corners. I never knew id be cooking for so many but I guess justice like dinner has been served. Anyway, on with the cooking show. If you’ll play the footage ill give you the rundown on a feast fit for a champion.

(Footage begins with Chopstick in a large kitchen hours before his match with Ding Dong)

Chopstick: Well here we are in the kitchen. Tonight we have a wide variety of foods to cook, the first of those is the taco. To begin you must cook the mince. To the mince we add half a teaspoon of oil. And the following spices (chopstick rattles off some spices adding them to the meal as he goes.) and the final ingredient of the taco is not a traditional ingredient. As a matter of fact you won’t find it in any cookbook ever written. Here we have a boxful of laxatives this box contains 42 bottles. Roughly speaking that’s enough to keep an army regular for about a month. Anyway we add to this sized serving one whole bottle add one glass of water and mix them together into a jucie so that no lumps remain. This will help with rapid absorbtion. We wouldn’t want to waste any as this will be passing through quite quickly. We then add this to the taco mince and cook off the excess water. Making sure the juice is mixed well into the mince. Next we have a mexican bean and chicken salad. To this we add thde following spices (Again Chopstick gives out a list of ingredients finishing with another bottle of laxatives. He repeats this with a huge list of dishes to each dish he adds a bottle of laxatives until we see the feast is exactly what was placed on the table in Senor Ding Dongs room. At the end of the cooking, all 42 bottles of laxatives have been used.) This isn’t the end of the matter the other thing we need is a list of guest to feed this food to. Luckily my advertising has been successful and I had a big group to cater for.

(footage ends)

Chopstick: And to conclude matters here we have some of the satisfied customers. And remember my felow aspiring chefs revenge isnt always best served cold.

(Footage plays of people scurrying about towards toilets. Patty Newton busts open Ralph the ice Burgissons dressing room and bolts for his toilet, she is intercepted on the way by Mathew Newton who runs in before her. Tonto is seen lying in agony in front of the toilet door, Ding dong has his cape covering the lower half of his body looking quite embarrassed even his noble steed Isabel has left a mess on the floor but is still busily munching away on a salad Reg reagan and Brandall both of whom only touched the alcohol are laughing merrilly at the shenanigans.)