Sir Quincy is sitting in his stately bedroom. The bandages are gone and he is quietly sipping on some tea. Next to his bag is a large nap sack. He seems to be in perfect health all of a sudden.
*Yawn*
SQP3: How ha-larious a show. Well done grapplers, well done! Was anyone really suprised that i was once again the shining light on a night where i wasn't even scheduled to wrestle? Are you shocked that i showed such a heroic streak as to rise from my death bed and render not once, not twice, but THRICE, any person who dared question my ability into a state of uncosnciousness? The young and ravenous Tonto, the dribbling spaniard and that dastardly Baron. Do you really think i fear a four way match?

Oh and Baron. Do you really think you could get the better of me? Do you really think an emotionally challenged plebian like yourself could one up me? Where are the bruisings on my cranium that the Iron Claw would create? Nowhere you imbecile. Stop hiring Sir Quincy impersonators you deluded hack!

As for the Randy Man. You owe me little man, you owe me big time for saving your title belts.

So as always it comes down to the simple question. Whats in the bag? (Dr Winegrass opens the bag. It is full of Australian dollars). Not that i need it, but this bag of cash is open to any wrestler in the ASWF that sees fit to involve himself or herself in helping the Glorious world wrestling champion retain his title next weekend at the pay per view. You would become the second richest person in the federation and also have the Penfold promise that i will back you in claiming any trophy (other then mine) in this silly little federation. The open offer stands....

Sir Quincy Penfold the Third goes back to sipping his tea....

Partyboy makes his way to the ring with his 5 hoes around him, crowd chanting his name. The crowd goes quiet to hear what he has to say.

Partyboy: Hey yo! Who's ready to get this party started? Now you all know how I am damn good looking, and you all know that no one and I mean no one can party like partyboy can get down! Everyone in the arena knows it, these 5 lovely ladies standing beside me certainly know it, and everyone in this beautiful city knows it! But there is another thing that I am damn good at too, and that is Wrestling!!!! Now that piece of crap PWN won our last match, but that was by default! That low life Mother F%$ker slipped a mickey into my party juice, that's totally not cool. I know that the only way that sad son of a bitch can only beat me when I am not 100%, I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. So what I propose is tonight in front of all my millions and millions of fans, that I beat the tar out of that fool PWN. Now this match will be a hardcore match, because I want to totally F*#k up that cheating bastard. He is guna wish he did not mess with Party Boy, cos no one messes with me when I am in party mode! Oh and you all know that when I am through.......... it will be time to PARTY BABY! WOOOOOOOOOOO! HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME!!! Party on everybody!

(party Juice! hahaha thats awesome!)

Pwn: oi cunt, we're gonna punch on and shit ay bruz, yeah man!

The first ever ASWF PPV, Bloodied and Broken, will kick off in a few short hours, and so far the card looks something like this.

Sir Quincy Penfold III vs. The Randy Man vs. Senor Ding-Dong vs. Baron von Cracske for the ASWF World Title
There couldn't have been a more furious rivallry than that between these four ambitious competitors. Egotistical superstar Sir Quincy Penfold III tried to ensure he'd have a defence free night on last night's show, but his interference in both #1 contender's matches backfired- with Chris Walker-Bush instead ensuring the champion would fight against not one, but three opponents for the World Title. Will underdog The Randy Man score a miraculous victory? Or will one of the new powers be able to wrestle the title from Penfold's well manicured hands? Or can the English sensation prove his claims to being the only true wrestler in the ASWF, and defend his title against all odds?

MrCharisma vs. Shadta for the Hardcore Title in a Cage Match
After snaring his first piece of ASWF gold last week, Mr Charisma will have to defend it against the very man he defeated in a steel cage. Shadta and Mr Charisma have shown in this past week that they've got egos to match their talent- and it will be a real tooth and claw fight at Bloodied and Broken.

Chopstick vs. Tonto
A week after their shock tag title loss to The Randy Man, Tonto and Chopstick are set to do battle after the wily Mexican took Chris Walker-Bush's cash offer to keep his tag partner occupied. Or is this just a cunning plan from Chopstick and Tonto, to distract the competitors in the main event?

Pwn vs. Party Boy
In the undercard, these two have impressed ASWF officials with their tenacity and character development. This week sees Pwn and Party Boy rewarded for their hard work, with their match set to open the proceedings at ASWF Bloodied and Broken.

(Chopstick is dialling a number on a mobile phone)

Chopstick: Hey there. Just a quick call to get myself involved in this world title match. That bastard Penfold fucked up my chances at a title last week and im gpoing to personally see that the fucker pays.

(chopstick waits on the reply)

Chopstick: Well i dont give a shit if theres already four in the match theyre all no talent hacks. None of them will be able to touch me. I dont even want the title i want Pency as quick as i can get at him. That bastard has to pay and hes conveniently dissapeared from.

(reply)

Chopstick: Thats bullshit Bush if i dont get into this match ill personally see that every match results in a disqualification and injury to every wrestler in contention for the title.

(reply)

Chopstick: I may be a crazy son of a bitch but i can bring this hick organisation to its knees before you get the chance to suspend me. And besides that do you really want me to have free time on my hands with a suspension.

(Reply)

Chopstick: Well thats just fine you see what you can do and ill continue with my plans. (chopstick throws the phone at the wall in anger) now where the fuck is my baseball bat.

(chopstick finds the bat and leaves the room slamming the door closed)

Close up on The Randy Man in a spa. Giles brings him over a glass of champagne...
Randy Man: Oh I'm getting sick of these champers. I need a beer dammit more importantly a KB.

Giles:But sir your KB days are over. They closed the factory down. Sir are you even a bit worried about this title match?

Randy Man:You know Giles you really should never talk to me unless I talk to you, your just a piece of shit Giles, just as those other three that will be in the ring at the Pay Per View, they are the shit and I am the toilet paper. But worried? What do I have to be worried? They're all angry at each other that they'll finish each other off, I'm just going to have to look for the right time to make the pin.

Giles:That and excellent idea sir. Would you ladie friend like something to drink.

Camera Pans down on a head moving up and down...

Randy Man:Nah she'll be alright she's got a drink of juice comming soon.

Giles:Marvellous sir.

Camera pans out with The Randy Man looking at some sort of photo...

Randy Man:If you won't help me who will??

Chris Walker-Bush is seen backstage in his office, having just got off the phone with Chopstick.

'Damn irritational Asians. I swear, having a small penis must be such a chore for them. Poor, poor bastards. Now I've got to find something or someone to occupy him tonight, so he won't spoil our main event. I wonder, who would like a big fat bonus?'

MrCharisma enters the building with the ASWF Hardcore title around his waist and a no name lacky carring his bags. He walks around the corner to see a some what fat fan

Fan: Hi MrCharisma
Putting his hand out for it to be shaken

MrCharisma: MrC doesn't do hand-shakes, but he does do hi-5's
Putting his right hand in the air

As the fan raises his hand for the hi-5, MrCharisma lunges as if to back hand him.... fan runs away

MrCharisma gets to his dressing room, which now has a big golden star where his name is printed. The bag boy drops his bags and stands there

MrCharisma: What do you want...
Bag boy: I, I, I, I....
MrCharisma: Want to be invited in.... what me to kiss you on the cheek and tell you I had a fantastic evening? Get out of here! You want some money?

pulling out a wad of cash

MrCharisma: three hundred, four hundred, five hundred.... just piss off

throwing the money in the air as he enters is dressing room

The camera is looking up from the floor to Sir Quincy Penfold. Doctor Winegrass is strapping his ankles and the rebellious monk is fine tuning the statesmens moustache. Sir Quincy looks more then a little worried.

SQP3- So anybody called regarding my bounty yet?

Winegrass- I'm afraid not Sir.

SQP3- Oh folly and piffle! It looks like tonight i might have to actually use my superior intellect, athleticism, wrestling know how, charisma, charm, tactical excellence and all round gentlemenly power to retain the title. *Yawn* Well, at least one of the above anyway. Any word on Mumsy?

Winegrass - Shes still miserable and feeling used of course. That Randy man certainly is a cad.

SQP3 - indeed..... You can't die of misery can you, perchance? (worriedly)

Winegrass - I'm not sure. She did suffer a cranial blow, umm, to the cranium.

SQP3 - (outraged) SOMEBODY HIT MY MUMSY???

Winegrass - It would appear so.

SQP3 - What is this world coming to when the underprivilidged malcontents of this world are taking out there wrath on helpless old ladies?? (pauses). Right i dedicate this match, not only to the queen of England, but also to my dear mumsy. be well, Pettle!

The cameras return to MrCharisma's dressing room where we find a hallway full of beautiful and amazing looking women, all lined up at MrC's door
Camera man knocks and moments later MrCharisma's head pops out from behind the door

MrCharisma: I've told you to wait your appointment, I'm still with a.... oh it's you.
Rod Silva: MrCharisma, what is going on here? Why are all these lovely ladies standing out the front of your door?
MrCharisma: Why is the sky blue, why are Queenslanders still alive, why do you smell like an off kebab? Listen to me... chump. It's only half obvious why all these girls are here and that's for some Magroism. But for a daft c#@t like yourself, if you would check the sign and alllllll the posters around the Wollongong arena, you would realise that I'm holding auditions for a manager. So if you'll excuse me, NEXT!

Beautiful girl in a short red dress enters MrCharisma's locker room, then closes the door behind her.

SQP3's phone rings

SQP3:Greetings may i ask whose calling?

Mystery Man: A gentlemen who doesn't like how Randy Man treats women. I've got an offer i'll take that payment at my terms only, I will take out the Randy Man only and cash up front.

(Myystery Man hangs up)

SQP3: Nice, very nice. Whoever that mystery man is hes got himself a deal. DE-lightul.

The Randy Man is on the phone to Chris Walker Bush while Giles cleans in the background.

Randy Man: So I hear you have a little problem with a certain chink.....Yeah I know they can be a problem and he in no way deserves a title shot. Tell you what I called because I thought I owe you a favour seeing as you were true to your word, I have an oponent for the fried rice rat, my bulter Giles.

Giles: But sir I'm no wrestler.

Randy Man: Was I talking to you. Go clean up that mess dammit!

Giles: But sir there is no mess.

Randy Man knocks over an ashtray then fans it over the floor.

Randy Man: There is now dickweed! And you will do as I say, I command YOU! So anyway Bushy, I'd just like to that you for the chance...So what if I've been trying to get a hold of him...Well maybe I don't want to get attacked from behind again!!!I do not swing that way my friend...He's dissapeared anyway ever since he appeared on the show. Ok well you just worry about your Pay Per View, I'll worry about the rest.

Randy Man Hangs Up.

Randy Man: Ok it's time to think game plan. Now I know that Baron Von Arsecrack doesn't mind me so I'll try and become his ally, as for Ding Dork and Quiet Pie I'll have to give them a 'tea bag' or two. Better get some sugar ready. Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....
Camera Fades

Beautiful People hits the arena and a robed MrCharisma and a mysterious lady wants down into the ring

MrCharisma: Ladies, Gentlemen and Stooge. I am a man who needs no introduction

the lady opens MrCharisma's robe to reviel the Hardcore title

MrCharisma: That's right, I am the Hardcore champion and it's no suprise because I am rock hard, solid, beautiful and know no fear. Last week Shitta found that out the hardway when I smacked him around. Being such a popular and prestigious wrestler, the time of me going solo is now over, I need a partner, someone I can rely on and after much soul searching I've employed a manager. Feast your eyes on the lovely KassandRa!

KassandRa: That's very kind of you MrCharisma but we are out here on business. After putting Shadta in hospital last week, my client is looking for an opponent to face him at the PPV. Obviously it will be for the title in an anything goes match, so any wrestler backstage who's listening and wants a shot at the future of wrestling... the challange is open.

Both KassandRa and MrCharisma leave the ring

SHADTA comes to his press conference.

SHADTA: we have committed ourselves to war against mrc.... hey whats his name again.

head reporter: umm............ mr charisma i think.

SHADTA: thats right i dunno why they call him that, especially with that wig :P

MRCHARISMA

on, and look at those ugly girls that follows him around. He must have picked them up from under a bridge.

head reporter: you know you are right, i was talking to one the other day, she said she was living under the bridge and mrcharisma came and offered to pay them for the privedge of following him around.

SHADTA: that sounds about right. but back to what this press conference is all about. We new zealanders and my birth place papua new guinea have gone to war with mrc. we will catch him and then he will be eaten live on one of the PPV shows in the future. but first we will torture him.

head reporter: that will be a sight i don't want to miss out on. is that why you carry a fresh human head into the ring now.

SHADTA: yep, getting back to my roots.

At the end of Shatda's interviewed which is taking place in the ring, the room goes dark and the titan-tron flicks on but only shows fuzz. Moments later MrCharisma appears on the screen

MrCharisma: Shitta do you think you impress MrCharisma, sitting there in MrCharisma's ring, do you? Well it ain't my ring and your lucky because I'd be scared if you EVER got near my ring!

MrCharisma: Now, I'm going to let the cat out of the bag and let the truth be told. That woman you speak of is not Miss KassandRa, oh no but rather your fat arse mumma! So you want a title shot? Well bring it... bring you skinny sheep rooting arse, step into the ring if those giggly legs will let you and go one on one with the champ! You talking about eating me.... the only part of me which is going inside of you, it my foot when I place it firmly in your rear.

Titan-tron goes black and the room returns to normal.... at least for some

shadta asks for a cage match!

MrCharisma tells it's on like Donkey Kong

The Barons house is ringing, it goes through to his answering machine...

Randy Man: Hey Bazz, I was wondering whether or not you wanted to do a little partnership thing to make sure that Senior Dick Head and Sir Qeer Prick don't get the title. The Partnership is simple we eliminate them both then it's all bets off for the title. I'd hate for you an me to become enemies, I am not one to be messed with sir. So what's it gonna be friend or foe?

Back to MrCharisma's dressing room and we find the door open, as if it wasn't closed properly.

The camera peek into the room to see MrCharisma swinging back on his chair and talking on his mobile phone while KassandRa laying on the couch.

MrCharisma: Ummmmm (pause) yes (pause) right (pause) this is very interesting (pause) well I guess (pause) what the plan exactly? (pause) right (pause) right (pause) right (pause) I think I could handle that (pause) sure (pause) I'll see you then.

MrCharisma hangs up the phone

KassandRa: Who was that?
MrCharisma: Oh it was...

MrCharisma notices the cameraman peeking into the room, rushs to the door and slams it

(Chopstick is seen in Pency Quinfolds dressing room smashing things with his baseball bat the door through which the cameraman enters has been kicked off its hinges. The camera pans around and we see Dr Winegrass hanging from the ceiling hanging next to him is the rebellious monk)

Chopstick: Now you two can see im serious about this. I realy want to know where that snotty prick is and i want to know now.

Rebellious monk: If it were the wish of Bhudda you would be granted this knowledge. Ask not me for i do not know.

Chopstick: Well your of no use to me (chopstick swings the baseball bat and ribs are heard breaking as the monk passes out)

Chopstick: Now Winegrass your all that stands between me and Penfold. Youve already seen i know the meaning of piniata. Do you want to feel my swing>

Winegrass: Please sir i dont know, Penfold has gotten quite secretive due to his paranoia lately. He wont tell us where hes going at any stage.

Chopstick: well make an educated guess fool before i take your head off.

Winegrass: Honestly sir i dont know we havent seen him in hours. last i saw he was heading out to pay off this mystery man.

Chopstick: I dont beleive you so heres a little memory refresher (chopstick pulls back the bat to swing but Winegrass passes out) typical i wouldnt expect anyone with balls to associate with this sick freak.

(Chopstick storms oput of the dressing room one minute later Pency emerges sheepishly from the wardrobe)

Sir Quincy Penfold the Third emerges from the cupboard. He yawns. Its tiring work being the centre of attention. He looks at his gold Forenzi pocket watch. He turns a seat back to an upright position. He sits down.

*sigh*
SQP3: Hmmm i wonder if i should where my silver boots or gold boots tonight? I'm frightfully certain the baron will be in marone, Ding dong in beige and the randy man in his usual pink. What do you think Winegrass?

Winegrass: gUrgLeee....

SQP3: How insightful you are! (SQP3 walks over and pats him on the head). Oh stop blubbering! I find it hard to fathom that that short man could have possibly done THAT much damage to your organs! He could barely lift it over his shoulders for heavens sake. You should be smiling dear boy. I can inform you that Chopstick has recently made a serious enemy. The last person that he would ever expect in fact! This particular chap is now under my payroll and will soon be taking care of his "royal flyness". Its rather sad really. Like the little fly heading directly into the spiders web. Pish posh though, can't allow my good self to be caught up in the sad plite of the working class. There is the small matter of ensuring my great prophecy of enlightenment and wonderfulness continues! Onwards and upwards into the annals of wrestling supremacy.

Winegrass: guRRgllee!

SQP3: indeed!

A gym, The Randy Man is pumping some Iron in his home.

RM:98,99 errrr 100. Yeah now thats the stuff, that definately gives my abdominals and perctorals a big hearty workout. Whats this? Picks up the Paper

.........WHAT THE?? WHAT ABOUT ME? AM I NOT IN THIS MATCH?, That's it I am sick of not getting recognition. I will win this match and then I will spit in all of their faces.

The Randy Man walks over to a locked cabinet smashes the locks and opens it. He pulls out a KB bitter and proceeds to scull it.

RM:It's been too friggin long.

after shadta crew was noticed tapping mrcharismas mobile phone. Shadta had to tell who the message was from and what was said.

shadta: well i don't really want to give it away but i have been told i have to be or booted out the federation. Mrc fetishes should be kept to hisself, and the federation has been threatened from MrC for a lawsuit.

head reporter: yeah, so who was it?

shadta: it was from a certain donkey kong!

head reporter: haha really, whys that?

shadta: he was asking for some time of MrC and whether he could handle his big **** in MRC rear end.

head reporter: when is this going to happen?

shadta: well its already happened, check the news tonight.

During the Pre-PPV show, the audience are shown some pre-recorded footage.

The footage begins with camera positioned in the passanger side window of a car and focused on a run down and dirty house.

Moments later a body appears on screen, however with it's back to the camera. The body is dressed in a blue and red uniform and holding a pizza box.

The camera zooms in as the person gets to what you would call a door step, but it is just where the unmowed grass has been stomped down. The person knocks on the door and Shatda opens the door dressed in a pink nightie and a moisturer face mask.

Shatda: Hello?
Pizza Guy: Vegetarian pizza for a Doug Allen
Shatda: I didn't order no pizza
Pizza Guy: Look, I've got a pizza here for a Doug Allen
Shatda: Well I didn't order a pizza
Pizza Guy: Well what am I going to do with it, this is obviously to you and if you don't pay for it, it comes out of my pay.
Shatda: I'm sorry but I'm not paying for a pizza that I did not order
Pizza Guy: Tell you what, give me $2 and you can have it
Shatda: Alright, alright, just let me go and get the money

Shatda leaves and retreives the money, upon getting to the door he goes to hand the money over but drops it. Shatda bends down to get it and as he is on his way up, the Pizza Guy delivers the pizza box right on his face, knocking him down. The Pizza Guy continues to punish Shatda. After the Pizza Guy has finished, he takes off the fake skin mask to reviel MrCharisma. MrCharisma then opens the pizza box and shows the camera a slab of iron inside. He takes the iron and leaves the pizza box on Shatda's chest and inside a note says "See you at Bloodied and Broken"

His emmenance, Sir Quiny Penfold the third is walking around backstage. He runs into the baron.

SQP3:You sir, are a buffoon! In all my entirety i have never has the dipleasure of meeting such a buffoon. Your bufoonery knows no bounds! (SQP3 slaps the baron in the face with a glove, baron pushes him backwards) Oh i say! How bufoon like you are!

Sir Quincy keeps walking. He runs into Senor Ding Dong. Ding Dong is playing a guitar.

SQP3: You Sir, are one of infinite bewildernedness! I have never met someone so confused as yourself! (SQP3 slaps Ding Dong in he face with a glove, Ding Dong looks confused). So it written, so it shall come to pass. You are so confused you dont even know whats behind you! (ding Dong looks behing himslef, SQP3 runs away)

SQP3 runs into the Randy Man. He is giggling with some fine looking ladies.

SQP3: Ah, the Randy Man, the epitome and personification of man. Young, verile and DUMB! (SQP3 slaps Randy man in the face with a glove, Randy man takes slaps SQP3 with a pink glove). HOW DARE YOU! I am Sir Quincy Penfold the third of great excellence! HOW DARE YOU? You wilderbeast! You rapscallion! You will pay for this insult dearly. (Sir Quincy pushes a lady into him and runs away)

SQP3 is ready to wrestle!

Moments after Sir Quincy Penfolds encounter The Randy Man is consoling the lady he pushed...

RM:There There Honey, That big bad mans a Big Bad Poof who needs to be taught a lesson in manners. But alteast we got him scared, he didn't want any part of me then and I think he's starting to shake. Tonight I enter the squared cicle a man on a mission, this is my definative moment in wrestling, will I be able to stand up and be a man? Or will I become a mouse? There is no doubt that tonight I will be attacked by all of the men straight away, but tonight I leave this arena a champion...

Randy Man looks into the camera as it fades away...

(pwn comes out to the stage and on his way out jumps up and touches the titantron)

Pwn: Oi cunts, whats happenin and shit. im so gonna fuck up that cunt party boy ay, then afterwards im gonna go to surfers and drink passion pop on the beach ay coz thats the day mum gives me my pocket money. so party boy you and i are gonna punch on and shit at the pay pa view and ill be the one having the party ay cunt.