Match One- Bone Daddy vs. Colonel Kurtz
Bone Daddy hits some punches. Kurtz receives some punishment. Kurtz takes a headbutt from Bone Daddy. Pin : 1....2..no. The match continues. Daddy slams Colonel Kurtz down. Hooks the leg : 1....2....shoulder up. Kurtz kicks Bone Daddy in the gut to reverse the momentum. Leg trip from Colonel Kurtz. Pin : 1....2..no. The match continues. Hard slam by Kurtz. Bone Daddy hits a right hand out of nowhere. Tornado punch from Bone Daddy. Bone Daddy moves in for the kill. Bone Rattler!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!
WINNER: Bone Daddy by pinfall

Match Two- Party Boy vs. 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder
Powerslam from 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder. Massive lariat. Side suplex from Maunder. Hooks the leg : 1....2....shoulder up! That was close. Running knee lift from 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder. Pin : 1....2..no. The match continues. Party Boy ducks a clothesline attempt. Hard back suplex on Maunder. Second rope splash by Party Boy. 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder fights out of a grapple. Hard slam by Maunder. Natalie Gruzlewski is at ringside! Party Boy wastes valuable time by yelling at Natalie! 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder takes advantage of the distraction and nails Party Boy from behind! Party Boy is in trouble. The Maunder Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder, having taken the victory thanks to the outside interference of Natalie Gruzlewski, goes over and shakes hands with her, showing that their plan was a success.
WINNER: 'Cybersex' Chris Maunder by pinfall

Match Three- MrCharisma vs. Chopstick
Chopstick dives off the middle of the ladder with a clothesline. Second rope splash by Chopstick. Charisma blocks a punch. Stiff high kick on Chopstick by Mr Charisma. Back elbow connects, Chopstick staggers backward. Face-first suplex onto the ladder from Charisma. Mr Charisma snap suplexes Chopstick. Chopstick reverses a waistlock. Flying elbow off the top rope by Chopstick. Springboard blockbuster! Chopstick hits a dropkick on Mr Charisma. Dropkick from the middle of the ladder by Chopstick. Mr Charisma hits a right hand out of nowhere. Charisma uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Slingshot clothesline by Charisma. They both begin to climb the ladder. Once they reach the top, an exchange of punches starts! Charisma grabs Chopstick...and sends him crashing to the canvas! Mr Charisma grabs the prize for the victory. Mr Charisma slides out of the ring to the floor, then turns and leaves through the crowd. He's happy to have the win, and evidently isn't going to hang around for Chopstick to get some payback.
WINNER: MrCharisma

Match Four- The Randy Man vs. Shadta for the Hardcore Title
Big clothesline from Randy. Shadta counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Stiff chop lights up Randy. Back elbow connects, Randy staggers backward. Rude Awakening on The Randy Man by Shadta. Randy counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. The Randy Man DDTs Shadta. Tornado punch from The Randy Man. The Randy Man with a spinning neckbreaker on Shadta. Shadta pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Shadta with a spinning neckbreaker on Randy. Side suplex from Shadta. Shadta picks up the ring bell. The Randy Man turns around...and gets smashed over the head with it! The referee sees blood, and this match is over! Shadta gives a murderous look toward The Randy Man...and attacks! Randy gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Shadta leaves the ring having left Randy down and out.
WINNER: Shadta by first blood

Sir Quincy Penfold III vs. Senor Ding Dong vs. Jelly Adams for the ASWF Title
Stiff high kick on Jelly by Sir Quincy Penfold III. Senor strikes away at Sir Quincy Penfold III. Jelly Adams powers out of a Senor Ding-Dong headlock. Flying elbow off the top rope by Jelly Adams. Jelly Adams hits a missile dropkick on Penfold. Cover! 1....2...kick out. Senor DDTs Jelly Adams. Pin : 1....2....3! Senor defeats Jelly. Penfold takes a kick. Senor Ding-Dong hits a bulldog off the ropes. Pin : 1....2..no. The match continues. Penfold backdrops Senor Ding-Dong out of a piledriver attempt. Diving headbutt from Penfold. Sir Quincy Penfold III grapples with Senor Ding-Dong, and positions himself so that the referee can't see...and hits a low blow! He rolls up the stunned Senor Ding-Dong: 1....2....3!! What a cheap shot!
WINNER: Sir Quincy Penfold III by pinfall

(With the replay of the final blow by SQP3 on the big sreen in the back ground El se·ñor Ding Dong dissapears into the shaddows and out of the stadium.)

As Senor Ding Dong leaves the arena in shame, Sir Quincy Penfold the Third jumps triumphantly up onto the turnbuckle as five or six short, possibly blind albino men run to the ring. Suddenly streamers and 20 dollar notes start falling from the roof. The crowd cheer and Penfold takes the mic.

SQP3:Thank you, thank you my adoring fans. I am so delighted with my new moustache that i've decided to reward you all. Enjoy my riches peasants!! Oh and i'm happy about winning the world title but we all new that was always going to happen didn't we? The answer is yes you stupid monkeys! (The fans cheer stupidly as money comes down closer, ASWF ceo Chris Walker-Bush is seen running out from the back with a fishing net).

SQP3:Thanks to the rebellious monk i was able to achieve a new pinnacle in moustache infamy and dazzle those filthy swines into numerous strategic errors. You smelly, disgusting people all witnessed why i am the Undisputed Hevyweight Chapion. I have destroyed your contenders. I have made a fool of your so-called "Hardcore" champion, Shadta. You are all stinky, filthy mucus bags and no one can prove me different. Look at you people grasping for my pocket change!! Your all whores! Dirty scrounging whores!! That money isnt even real you fools!! My men made it with crayons and glue on Wednesday play day!!

Crowd boos loudly, some are confused and some are crying. CEO Bush looks extremely depressed.

SQP3:Stay tuned you assortment of wilderbeasts. I will have an announcement to make soon regarding MY world title. Until next time, this is your UNDISPUTED Heavyweight Champion of the world, signing out.....

Sir Quincy throws down the mic and heads for the back...

In the mysterious location of the bell cave our two heroes are planning SQP3s comeuppance.

(El se·ñor Ding Dong is releasing his anger by practicing his move the Ding Dong Drop on Tonto)

Tonto: Ughhh, what a great move se·ñor, i think i need to get a new backbone after that one.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Ah i finshed off that se·ñor JellyAdams character, I should of expected somthing dirty from that misbegotten, rotten, charlatan, cheating lowlife crook, Sir Quincy Penfold the third.

Tonto: Just mentioning the word jelly makes me as nearly hungry as how mad i get when you mention that despicable amigo Sir Quincy Penfold the third.

(Tonto gets off the mat and goes straight to the fridge and grabs out big bowl of the nights befores chilli concarne and two coronas)

Tonto: (Finishes of the chilli concarne) Burrrp, El se·ñor Do you want a drink while i reveal my plan to give that arrogant punce is just desserts, mmm desserts i think ill grab some ice cream first.

hell the hell did you make me a fool, as i remember it was 1...2....3! before your mummy came to help you! put your title where you mouth is. and i will prove it too you make it two matches in the one night the first for the harcore title and the second for the world title.