Ok, here's what we have so far:

Randy Man/Huge Hefner vs. Marshal Boyd and a Mystery Partner for the ASWF Tag Titles

Sir Quincy Penfold III vs. Shadta

'Cybersex' Chris Maunder to 'pose off' with MrCharisma

Mr. Big Shot to clash with Chopstick

Wizard 1o1 to take on Jelly Adams for a place in next week's World Title match

SQP3 would like to teach young Shadta the waffle bag whats proper and whats not. Though i know its not my duty to tread on the downtrodden, i do feel its my right to manhandle those below me. Like Boy Maunder, i think its time Boy Shadta was given the chance to represent the rest of the socially disenfranchised and demonstrate what a loser he and his "people" (primitive as they are, i guess they are human) truly are. Epidemiology rates prove that this is inevitable. Call me pompous and i will simply and happily recite the facts of life:
You are not well-off so....
-you will die younger
-you have less access to suitable medical services
-you will eat unhealthier foods
-your spouse is more likely to be unkept and fat
-your children are less likely to be primp and proper
-You are more susceptible to drug addictions and suicide (Hooray!)
-You are likely to be behind the latest and greatest fashion trends (by say- 25 years)
-You will never likely see the world
-you are less likely to live any of your dreams
-you will die alone in a run down government funded home
etc
etc
SQP3

*PJ Marshal burts onto the camera on the ASWF highlights show with a special announcement*

PJ: Over here brother get that camera in my face

*camera rushes over*

PJ: Good now that I have your attention I got some matters to address to, now Randy Pandy wants a tag match with his lil bum buddy Baby Hugh Heff. Well I accept your challenge, and this time Im gonna gonna be the one who is dishing out the pain!

*Interview Mike Hunt jams his mic in PJ's face*

Mike: PJ Who is your partner going to be?

PJ: Good question, and would you kindy get that fucken mic out of my nose! No for a tage partner, well i'll need somone who is mentally and physically tough as me and is genuine crowd favourite, but alot of the stars in the ASWF lockyer room are lacking these qualities, so what I propose is that on match night which ever bastard out in the lockyer is ready for the challenge and ready for the honour to team up with me, they can come running down to the ring and be in my corner

Mike: So basically your partner will be a mystery partner

PJ: Oh Mike wherewould I be without you, yes thats absolutley correct, and Randy Man watch your head because ive got some raw metal just waiting to feel what its like to come in contact with your flesh, then you will know what it feels like to have your face mangled and when i hit you with the frog splash im gonna beat you 1..2..3! and thats all i gotta say about that!

*PJ speeds off as the camera fades out*

*Lights center on the center of the ring just after PJ Marshall has exited, The Randy Man starts to crawl out from under the ring, he is naked besides from a robe when he stands his block and tackle become visable to a few of the auidience who then faint in Mexican wave style*

Randy: Calm down Mrs Marshall you can have some more randy later baby. No onto smaller matters and I don't mean whats in Mr Marshals pants *randy has a little laugh to himself* if he wants to dance the steel dance again he can but be warned The Randy Man is connected. no matter where you turn your back we will be waiting to smash your face. Oh and your wife says get yourself some dinner she'll be home a little late tonight*he laughs again*

*Randy then makes his way under the mat where screams of pleasure are heard for many hours after, occaisionly you can hear the trademark scream of the Randy man "YEAH YEAH YEAH"*

I want to challenge any guy with nice muscles to a posedown!

shadta is happy to fight sir penthouse to a match BUT would also like boy maunder or mr charisma in the match also in a one on two match

ie shadta vs sqp3 and mrC or boy


but he doubts it will happenas those aussies are too chicken to fight us kiwis they would rather go with their natural reactions and do a underarm. go aussie cricketers in the ICC champs win your first one :ouch:

*sigh*
What is an "Aussie" and why does that have anything to do with yours truly? it appears i have over estimated your intelligence once again. What pathetic levels your creed will drop to, to avoid a night of real work. Perhaps you think a three way will give you time to run and hide? Snap your heals together boy. I'd suggest you show some pride though i doubt theres any left after growing up the way you did. Three-wheeled pram, one legged girlfriend and a pet rat i suppose. New zeland? what continent is that on?
SQP3-

Bright lights shine as *The Reign* hits and Mr Bigshot struts out to the ring.

Mr Bigshot: Mackdaddy, im tired of seeing you run your mouth, time to put up or shut up chump, lets see you back up that big mouth of yours, I challenge you to a falls count anywhere match, that means no dq, no holds barred, the time for talking is over, Mackdaddy, your ass is mine!!!!!!!

*The Reign* hits as Mr Bigshot leaves the arena

not a threeway a two on one me been the one!

The card is updated. Your involvement will decide the outcome of matches, so get posting if you aren't already.

I take it that boy Wizard and boy Jelly will be toiling for the right to fight me for the crown? I am irrefutably the zenith of this lowly federation. Declare it Mr Walker-Bush or face the wrath of my good self and my minion army of short, possibly blind albino's. Nobody wants to see poor people wrestle poor people. The crowd are crying out for clarification. Why are we so ignorant and poor they ask. They say they hate SQP3? I say don't shoot the messenger you filthy losers! I would like to say i'm going to systematically dismantle Shaznuts but that would be a lie. Dismantling indicates a slow process. I suggest that this match will be short and cleancut. Like my haircut. In the battle of Potato Sack V Armani, i will always be the victor! I am starting the anti-revolution. The rich people are going to rise up among you and we are no longer going to put up with your incessant complaining. Robots will make you all redundent soon enough. Now that i have harnessed the power of the sun it is only a matter of time.....
SQP3-

I'd just like to reiterate my point. You are all filthy swines. Useless beyond comprehension and it bogles my mind as to why any of you even exist. You are all so very ignorant. I am glad that you have at least had the common sense not to attempt any kind of useless challenge to me. Your feeble efforts make me scoff. Scoff scoff!!
SQP3-

Will post results to this over the weekend.

The Pink Panther Music Rolls On and The Randy man strolls down towards the ring. dressed in a new suit which bears the Playboy logo. Boo's are heard from the crowd and someone even throws a used condom from off stage.

"Wow PJ, are you upset over finding my used condom in your misses, ha ha ha, that was the best half a day I ever spent in that bat cave. But now I have moved on with my new partner in crime Huge Hefner, at the next ASWF event we will reitterate the point of beauty against the beasts when we defeat Pj and his loser partner to become the tag team champions. But the entertainment will not finish there we will also........


The song Will I ever see the Biff again comes of the areana and who is that who appears.....REG REGAN...

REG:"What are you doing you poofter!!!?"

RANDY MAN:"Excuse me sir do I happen to know you?"

REG:You know me alright mate your no randy man your my tag partner Brandell.You were one tough SOB now look at you your just a pansy in a suit.

RANDY MAN: I'm sorry my friend, theres no Brandell here that chunk of lard left a long time ago, theres nothing but a hot young lover boy in the ring.

REG: Well it's time to become a man Randy....

Reg runs down to the ring and proceeds to beat of the Randy Man, Randy Man breaks free and runs out of the arena.

REG: Now wheres me fucking KB.

He proceeds to drink KB for the rest of the night interupting the matches to beat whoever he doesn't like with his KB cans...

the ASWF film crew come into shadta's dressing room to found out about this ex-mental patient SQP3.

shadta starts telling him hes a nobody but he was in a magazine that one of his fans sent me. its called the PLAYGAY and is for guys who are gay! i will get it out of a box that i keep that are for embarassing the other wrestlers but be warned you will need a microscope if you want to see anything as he not that well endowned in fact he could have the smallest out of the guys in the world at least he has a pair of tits that girls would be proud of!

music interupts the scene.

shadta asks what the hell is that music, interviewer says thats the chicken dance and thats SQP3 introduction music.

at this shadta falls over laughing haha chicken haha dance.

shadta goes back to the spa to get in with the girls and interviewer leaves

*sigh*
Can you not go five minutes without embarassing yourself Shadta? Your inane and jumbled messages suggest to me that your self-esteem is low and you have trouble making decisions. Either that or your addicted to some kind of opiate. Cannabis i suppose. To suggest that i, Sir Quincy Penfold the Third would strut to the ring to such a ridiculous tune is ludicrous. I listen to nothing but the finest orchestra symphonys out of Europe and occasionally the latin grooves out of south America that are filed with such passion. I'm not sure what a chicken dance is but i will assure you that my name bear no association to it in any sense. That would be like associating caviar with that shack you live in down by the river with the rest of the hillbillies. I pity the peasent that has to clean the hot tub after you and your filthy wenches depart. Disgusting business i suppose. See you in the ring swine. Do not try to touch my belt with your grubby paws!
Your ASWF World Champion.
-SQP3

Wasn't this supposed to happen about a week ago??? What the hey in the hmmmph is going on. Yo all better hurry this shizzle before my pizzle is shizzeled.