Just a thread for all the members of Wallabagunga tribe to post their articles leading up to tribal council.

Few teams can have made such an immediate impact in ASRL history as the Capetown Ravens.

The first South African club to ever compete in the competition, Capetown stunned everyone by finishing second in division two in 2003 in their debut season, being particularly impressive at their home ground of Newlands Stadium.

After such a stunning debut season the experts may well have though the Premier League would be a step too far for Chris Walker-Bush’s men … but they were wrong. A quick glance at today’s newspapers shows the Ravens on top of the ladder after 18 rounds, four points clear of the Wellington Cougars and seemingly on an unstoppable surge to the Minor Premiership.

Walker-Bush’s main strength has been in capturing the imagination of the fans, who have flocked to their 65,000 capacity home ground and who have been rewarded with some excellent performances as well as the opportunity to see a number of home-grown players.

Such has been the impact of the locals however, that other clubs have come sniffing, with star fullback Jaco Van Der Westhuizen joining Hawkesbury in a deal which saw Irish international prop Barrie McDermott as well as Mick Van Der Wall and Frank Pritchard join the Ravens.

The South African side started life in the top flight slowly, going down to a 34-8 spanking at the hands of Wellington, but by round five had won three and lost two of their opening games.

By round 10 the teams were really starting to produce, with skipper and New Zealand international Andrew Mehrtens continuing his fine kicking record, although in recent weeks it has been bench halfback Steve Devine who has been making a name for himself.

He has found himself behind English international Derek Gateshead in the pecking order though, while another English international, vice-captain Mike Forshaw, continues to turn in performances which belie his advancing years.

Round 18 summed up the Ravens’ improvement as a team, as down 18-12 at halftime, and missing several of their stars, they hit back to score 42 unanswered second-half points to record a 54-18 victory against Hawkesbury.

While Van Der Wall, Mehrtens and Devine continue to impress, the fans were delighted to see local flyer Jamie Bloem on the scoresheet, while Walker-Bush again showed his eye for a bargain as Mark Hughes, unwanted by struggling second-division club Newcastle Fear, again showed his career is far from over with another fine try-scoring performance.

"This club is just so professional," he said. "At one stage I thought my career was over, yet coming here has been a breath of fresh air. The fans love us and we are treated like heroes."

The Ravens are already looking to next season, with Sanjay Roberts set to join Redlands in exchange for Jamain Lowe, but in the meantime there seems little possibility of the team in black slipping up as they maintain their wonderful start to life in the ASRL.

Such has been the impact of the club other South African franchises are rumoured to be keen on joining the ASRL, but for the time being the whole country is united behind the magnificent Ravens.

The Surfers Paradise punks, and their fans have been around just long enough to know that they have shared in a life cycle of ups and downs, and if outspoken coach Chris Maunder could just get one news firm to listen to him for more than 5 minutes, he’d let them know about his conspiracy theory on the ASRL, and pretty much every other coach in the game.

It was pretty hard to tell that the Punks would yet again struggle this season after the flying start they had to the season. Sitting pretty on top of the table after 4 rounds of competition, and then in round six defeating the highly fancied giants, Wellington Cougars to play themselves into what many thought could be the high in morale that would see them through to the final series. But…..that all came crashing down the very next week when they were narrowly defeated by the then winless Hawkesbury.

Although the very next week they did manage to hammer the hapless manly, it was their own spanking at the hands of the Oilers in week nine that really started the Punks downward spiral. Four losses and a draw from 5 games seen then drop out of the eight for the first time this season, leaving coach Maunder with that familiar bitter taste in his mouth that he is so used to from previous seasons. Round fourteen was the game in which they hosted Carnarvon, where 16,696 hope full fans showed up to the “Slam Pit” only to be left with that same bitter aftertaste Maunder had constantly in his mouth. It was Jonah Lomu this time who ripped the Punks defence apart to secure the win for the visitors.

With no more wins yet this season, fans must be wondering w.t.f. is up with their beloved Surfers Paradise. Its really only a question that could and should be answered by the players themselves or indeed their coach Chris Maunder, instead he just like to come up with a huge array of excusses that perhaps he got out of a book he found in Oilers coach Roger Bossert’ office once while visiting. Theres the classic excusses like “haha out of the 8 now, knew this would happen. fuckin rep season”, “hahahahah we are sooooo shit!”….. heh heh obviously, or even “hmmm i wasnt sent my formguide again this week....”

But after all this, it’s the more far out things that comes from the Punks camp that really leaves the rest of the ASRL world bewildered. Speaking about the possible opening in the queensland squad “how come im not considered for the job? ive never had a rep squad and my team always gets fucked over by the rep season lol so i hate the rep season. i say we piss it off all together.” Speaking on origin in general, “just face it, queensland owns nsw. nsw are the most arrogant and cheating team in the history of sport and even if i was from nsw there is no way i could support them.”

So is there in fact an ASRL wide ploy to deliberately injure Surfers players, or to deliberately name even the most undeserving Surfers players in rep squads to deliberately and constantly test the punk depth or lack of depth and resolve to pull through their player crisis’ only time will tell, but one thing for sure if u listen in on Punks circles, that is their theory and they are sticking to it…………………….

Except from New York Times cover story(April 1, 2004)

It is rare for us at the Times to do a cover feature on the sporting arena. Our loyal reader base will reminiss on previous occupants of our illustious front cover. Martin Lupher King, JFK, George Bush are just small players in a long line of the most influential and inspirational people of our great but short history. Recently it came to our attention that one mans story of courage in the face of adversity need be told to the masses. The man: David McElroy (aka-DJMAC), His team: the North Sydney Newbloods.

It is rare that we would bother ourselves with the colonials in Australia and their obvious plights. We Americans are truly the cream of the human crop and therefore should avoid attempts at understanding other cultures. However, McElroy, proprietor of the North Sydney Newbloods has truly amazed us in his attempts to turn a collection of losers into the dominant team of the future.

The son of a poor blacksmith and extremely promiscuous mother, McElroy was renowned for locking himself in his room and breathing heavily as he watched his beloved North Sydney on his black and white television. As a boy he would often dream of being towel boy down in locker rooms of North Sydney Oval. As fate would have it, young David would do this and much much more. On a fateful day that McElroy once described as "heaven on a stick", McElroy was able to endear himself to the late, great Peter Allen, proprieter of the newbloods. The boy from Oz was delighted with the attention of the younger and athletic McElroy and after a series of torid backdoor meetings behind closed doors, contracts were drafted and signed on Allens death bed.

Incensed with a power (and possibly lust) that would have impressed the nazis, McElroy went about cleansing the club of those not fortunate enough to have blond hair and blue eyes. A move some labelled paradoxical by those who focused on his personal flamboyant past. We hear at the Times prefer enigmatic. Trouble brewed though as a brazen (and black) Stacy Jones fort back on the grounds of a 99 year contract signed on a long, late night of sherry with Allen. Incensed, McElroy was forcst to give up on his new regime and name of the NS purebloods.

Once again, McElroy was forced to reevaluate. A new man emerged that saw the dawn of a new era in league. Hand in hand walks that might have made players nervous and uncomfortable are now an every day thing and if you get down to Newblood training on tuesday night, it is not unusual to see McElroy and global superstar Mat Rogers walking hand-in-hand deciding on what strategies to implement in the weekends clash. You might often catch him at the gym spotting Steve Menzies or Elton Flatley. Team discussion is often led by McElroy in his famous spandex bike pants over a hot chocolate at his bachelor pad in Crows Nest.

Sometimes its hard not to think of Heroes like McElroy in the deity sense. A humanitarian in his own twisted way, but a man through and through. It is my honest intention to go home and pray tonight that we all learn a little from this three part exclusive story. He is the little engine who could, the eggs that make the ommeltte. God bless us all!

Next issue: First ever times centrefold. McElroy cook's in his undies.

Tribal council is over and it's time to tally votes. The three who submitted entries (Troy, Mark, and Anthony) have earned immunity. This means only Matt, Nathan, or Andrew can be voted for this week- but everyone still votes.

Please IM votes to me or over MSN.

haha awesome article troy, tho its true u fucks screw me over!