Insolent sons of a pigs nipple! It is hereby anounced that the Coffs harbour Wyrms are looking for members to form a mob. Said mob will be supplied with beer and dorito's. The only responsibility of the mob will be to drink,eat and heckle anybody stupid enough to suggest that they can possibly suceed in division one (two?). With fourteen internationals (at last count), it is inevitable that the sons of the Mighty Coffs Harbour Superdome will excel above all others. Silence or suffer the retribution of the drunken,unruly posse.

Applications made be sent to:

MackDadday c/o hotmail
wheres_me_pint
SUCKERSSSSS

:bang: :ouch:

Success is propotional to the delusion of the "successful" Do you really think that having internationals means a victory. Just look at the lebanese squad, 25 internationals and no wins. Sure it may be noted that they have less talent than all other international squads but for a true reflection of a teams ability you must also consider coaching. Considering you dont even know your division i think coaching is questionable. If you want to coach well you should be drinking with your players. Sure posses that heckle are fun but its the players who need the beer and doritos.

Listen here Daddio, i'll have you know that the Coffs harbour Wyrms are led out at the Coffs Harbour 'SUPERDOME' by none other then the Irish captain, Kevin Campion. The presence of 'pisshead prescott' at full back should tell you to shut your pie hole instead of trying to teach the wyrms 'bout drinking. As all historical scholars know... The invention of drinking was the result of hemogeneous testing at irish box socials long before our great great great mackdaddays pregnulated our great great great grandmammays.

As for the lebs, though the wyrms encourage a harmonious and understanding cultural environment you will notice that we harvest none of that useless creed of greasy %$#& at coffs.

We will meet you on the field shortly my boy and you'll need more then a wyrms dorito and beer binge to take the likes of us.

I bid thee adieu....

MackDadday

At least you are willing to admit the worthlessness of the Wyrms style beer and dorito binges. From all reports the Wyrms drink light beer and eat no frills dorito's. What is that crap. This is the kind of thing that pagans take joy in and we all know that pagans take it up the aaah maybe i shoudnt bring alternative religions into this argument. Im glad you guys have a superdome cos im sure there will be nothing super about the brand of football you guys play. In my day they used to place a Wyrm in the bottom of tequila bottles. In the last ten years though it was recognised that Wyrms are only a soft creature without bones that munches on dirt. So here stands my promise to you Mackgrandadday. I will feed you the dirt and you will tell me it tastes good. Cheers to you my underground friend. Stay soft skinned and dont get eaten by a bird.

Wooooh! :afro:

Columbo you jackass! We are the coffs harbour WYRMS. Wyrms were the mystical creatures that terrorised the world for centuries until becoming bored and eloping back to whereforth they came. The only worms associated with this club are book worms who strategise on a daily basis in researching new ways to elevate our already gargantuan corporation and player base and make fools of the likes of you!

Can you go for five minutes without embarassing yourself?If you are to thrive in this promotion then you must give up your scrupulous ways and endeavour to rid yourself of all your scandalous vices. Unless you can proceed to go fourth in a less derogatory manner, you will undoubtedly find yourself amongst the underlings of this wonderful promotion such as redguy, shane, mark f and that scoundrel Jelly! Give up your fellonious ways. Make a change. Choose Sucess.

Oh dear here we go another all out battle of wit against an unarmed opponent. What part of your argument would you like picked apart first. How much time did mum have to research the word Wyrm for you little fella. If i wanted team names defined i would have asked. I could have Squirreled on about Harlequin the leader of a legendary band of demon horsemen that allegedly terrorised France within the last three centuries. I could have gone for the less exciting idea that Columbine is the sweetheart of harlequin, two characters in the German Punch and Judy puppet show.

What do these definitions mean to me?. Nada, zip, zero, zilch. Whether you fantasize about being the all powerful WYRM or a watery organism without a backbone that lives underground i dont care. You still seem to drink light beer, eat flavourless nachos and sprout some tired old catchphrases. Take it from me when success comes you have to be ready for it. Do you have a facewasher to bring to this trial match? that dirt is looking awfully muddy.

Columbina is originally from the Commedia Del'Arte, an Italian pseudo-political for of theatre. She was the lover of Harlequino. The Punch and Judy thing was based on characters from Commedia.

I'm pretty sure the original Harlequin idea came from jesters and the like- but demon horsemen definately sound a lot more intimidating. :blink:

Chris

MOTHER PLAYED NO PART IN MY RESEARCH! I'm sick of all these slanderous allegations. I'm on my own. My partnership with mother was dissolved many years ago. She is dead to me!

As for this light beer and no frills doritos nonsense, i'll have you know that i indulge in neither. Such diligence on your part in trying to lure me into giving away the secrets of success is admirable. If you wanted to assatain the characteristics of sucess, you could have just asked. Your admiration caused a momentary pitter patter in the burrows of my heart. The feeling, however, was fleeting.

Your a useless shell of a boy Columbo. The comedy of errors that constitutes your life reminds me of the sad decilne of the infamous Slovak clown "Berianov". A promising and educated junior, Berianov soon rose to the forefront of the Stretzky circus company with uplifting stories of his proess in the realm of pie tossing and an inexplicable control over turtles. You see, berianov had the same blind belief in himself as you. Uneducated and desperate for a surge in ticket sales, the "Stretzkys" thrust Berianov into the forefront of national advertsing. Unfortunately for the clown, talk did not constitute reality and he soon embarrassed himself and all those associated with him when his turtles turned on him in a live performance in Moscow.

Now you must understand that the moral of this story is not to distrust turtles. Instead, beware that you do not set those up that depend on you for the biggest fall of their lives. The Stretzky Circus company went out of business shortly after the Berinov incident. Those that depended on the sad clown were thrust into the streets, shamed and foodless. Do you really think Sanjay woud last a second on the streets of Columbo? Think before you act next time please!

Yours in warning...
MackDadday EA.

I was aware of the jester definition but it doesnt really serve the argument i was having to label my team the clowns.

The source of the information i included had the demon knights leader listed under Harlequin with the alternate spelling of Herlequin or Hellequin so it could be found elsewhere. Another possible description is the Harlequin variety of ducks. Or generally a descriptive term for those creatures that are brightly coloured.

As for Mackdaddy, your sense of delusion must make it easier to live the life of the handicapped. To envision my insults as a search for the secret of your supposed success really does speak volumes for the amount of thought that goes into the creation of your own private little world. I do have a friend who would like to speak to you about your visions of success, he charges an hourly rate (almost like the ladies whose homes you frequently visit but without the sexual connotations) and will give you a nice comfy couch to sit on all the while. I guarantee he will listen to all you have to say with morbid interest and quite possibly will steer you on the path towards mental wellbeing. He may even be able to find a way for you to overcome the feeling of self pity you suffer after your mothers rejection of your sexual advances. Ask for Dr Brasher at the shady acres holiday farm he can give you so much help.

It was such a sad tale you told of the early Berianovs. Your family history brought tears to my eyes. Do you wish to be the famous clown your Berianov ancestor failed to become. I think you really do have what it takes. From the moment we met you at the draft my exact words to Sanjay were "that guy is an absolute clown" he agreed and we still have faith in you. Keep up the good work and leave the coaching to those that have the intelligence for it.

As for me i will try to unravel the framework of problems you seem to possess and treat you with the respect that should be accorded to the handicapped. Dont forget to contact Dr Brasher. Its for your own good.

Your stories have more holes in them than the Grand Canyon, Columbo. My story of the berianov was imply a diatrobe of mine to illustrate the damage that you are likely occasioning to Sanjay and co. I thought his story was a parrallel of your own predictable future. I'm not related to berianov and think that your dereliction of duties is evident in that you immediately assume i'm calling your team clowns, when in fact, i'm callng you a clown, or at least clown-like anyway. Typical columbo assuming that when words like 'clowns', 'invalids' or 'disability apparage' are mentioned that we are automatically discussing your teams inabilities on the field. imagine how your team feels. When i overhear words such as 'sprit', 'high-flying' and 'world-beaters', i envision that the conversation of bystanders has once again turned to my beloved wyrms. No wonder you have such a wonderful knowledge of your local psychiatrist's!

As for the ladies i pay on an hourly basis, i can only imagine that you are referring to my personal trainer and gardener (Dont you ever visit your gardeners house? Employers are people to you know!)

In regard to your team mascot, i notice the brand of New Yorks transvestites known as the Harlequins are above mention. Mother tells me their bitchy and will scratch out your eyes on a moments notice. How 'bout that? No honestly chris, can you say with a straight face that your team is more like a bunch of demon horsemen, scaring then wits out of everyone... or a bunch of catty she-males? or ducks or puppets as you brought up earlier. The image of a cross-dressing duck on strings certaintly conveys a worrying portrayal for me.

It's so nice of you to tell us what kind of clubs you frequent. How long have you been a member of the New York Harlequins?. It's nice to see a well known figure like you associating himself with a minority group like the transvestites you seem to love.

In addressing my stories that are supposedly full of holes, what fictional account have i given in these posts. I only remember you posting stories that effectively grant you a link to happenings in the real world. What relevence a clown who couldnt control his turtles has to me i dont know. As for my knowing a psychiatrist, i know many of the wealthy, educated and socially gifted people of this world. Among my list of friends i count doctors, lawyers, business owners, politicians and various other highly respected professionals. Being the owner of an oil well, wealthy and intelligent people often associate themselves with me. If you come to one of the dinner parties i frequently hold i will allow you to meet some of these people. Strictly speaking you will be working as a waiter but most people get their step up in the world by chance meetings with the well to do. Many of these people employ the handicapped to improve public image, so with luck you could get numerous job opportunities.

On to more important issues such as my team. I never once assumed they were clowns, with the exception of Sanjay who now works part time as a pirate/clown at childrens birthdays since his bottle top accident. As far as a mascot for my team goes i havent yet decided upon my mascot, although my team do behave like puppets for me in the way they follow my orders as if they were on strings. Maybe you should try getting the respect of your team at some stage it is a great help to have it as a coach.

Its good to see you have gotten back in touch with your mother again. Fred or Dr Brasher as his patients (you) know him told me you promised to confront the issues you have with her though he wouldnt mention what issues they were and i scarcely wish to know anyway. Its good to see you have taken the help offered. Now i shall leave this mundane argument as i concentrate on the important task of bringing together game plans for our upcoming trial. Feel free to try and make some sense (for once) if you want to have the last word.

You both are idiots and need to get off the goon, Stupid UNE studnets!